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Guilt tearing me apart



Junior member
Jan 12, 2023
I have just learned my mother needed a molar root canaled but she didn't go ahead and get it done because it was too expensive, so she is left with a painful tooth. How can i expect her to support me financially with all the work i need done if she can barely afford work done to herself? I feel horrible, she doesn't deserve to go through all this trouble because of my phobia. I am seriously considering cancelling my appointment and wait until i get a job, i don't care how bad things get.. i just want to be able to pay for the work i need done myself. I just wish i could go back in time and take better care of myself. I am going to ruin my parents.
@Tinella9610 When I went to my first appointment with my dentist, it wasn't like I had to pay a big bill on the spot. I got a treatment plan with treatments I needed, each one with a price quote, that I could do when I wanted to. I was able to talk with the dentist about how urgent each thing was, too, and I did the treatment spread out over quite a long time, which made the bills spread out over a long time too. I think you can go to the appointment and get information without having to pay for treatment at first, and you can find out what kind of treatments and costs you are really looking at, which may be cheaper than you think. Extraction with my dentist is really cheap, for example, I was shocked by how cheap. For me the best thing I have found for dealing with difficult financial matters with my parents is direct discussion, and openly bringing up worries about financial issues with them. We have a difficult situation in our family about a relative who can't work and lots of stressful and upsetting financial issues to do with them and their needs, and I find it's best to just communicate openly about this stuff and talk it over with my parents, since we are all involved with the matter financially, maybe that would be a possible option for you too, with this financial worry?
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@Tinella9610 I can tell you that even if your mom needs a root canal treatment, it does not have to be done immediately. First of all, for the tooth, whether you do the root canal treatment tomorrow or a few weeks/months later, it does not really matter, the treatment will be the same. What does matter, as you wrote yourself, is your mother's discomfort. It is possible to buy some time and improve your mom's quality of life, for example: antibiotics, shaving of the tooth's height, and more (depends on the situation).
Hope it helps.

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