• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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Handbags and coats...

Fortunately I've never had to deal with flashbacks as I still can't quite figure out what the fear is from so keeping my eyes open is preferrable and usually my dentist sits in front of me when she treats me or off to the side which I much prefer to behind me so I can keep eye contact with her. The only time I usually close my eyes is if they are spraying water or something like the ultrasonic scaler cause I feel like it's gonna spray up in my face but I used to close my eyes the whole time for years...not quite sure what changed that.

I've never had to wear the safety goggles but I think i would feel pretty strange if I had too, then I would have to worry about all those other fears on top of looking ridiculous lol

Glad I'm not the only one with that quivering lip problem too! :redface: Last time it got so bad that she couldn't even BEGIN treatment cause it started going the second I opened my mouth and heard the drill start up, it was fluttering soo much that she had to stop and calm me down before we even began :rolleyes: I've noticed that the bite- block used to hold your mouth open seems to help relieve that a lot though, because biting down on something takes the strain off the muscles making it easier for them to relax and less likely to twitch. :p
 
kitkat said:
usually my dentist sits in front of me when she treats me or off to the side which I much prefer to behind me so I can keep eye contact with her.
 

Actually I think I'd much prefer it if my dentist sat where I could see him, not so much for eye contact but more so that I know exactly what he's doing at all times (<--- that probably makes me sound like a complete control freak! :redface: )

kitkat said:
I've never had to wear the safety goggles

You don't know what you're missing :sick:. Let's just say that I'm sure that whoever designs them won't have won any awards for the most flattering design!

kitkat said:
I've noticed that the bite- block used to hold your mouth open seems to help relieve that a lot though, because biting down on something takes the strain off the muscles making it easier for them to relax and less likely to twitch. :p

Urrgggghhhh!!!!  :o :scared: I don't like the sound of that! Luckily I've never encountered one of those before - I'm pretty sure I'd be out of the surgery and running down the road by the time he'd got it out of the drawer!

OK - here's another one! :rolleyes: When I get stressed and in a panic, my skin goes all horrible and blotchy - sort of a bright red and pale white snake-like pattern :sick: - I'm actually quite a bit embarrassed about it because it's blindingly obvious what a state I'm in. So regardless of the weather, I wear clothes that cover as much of me as possible. If I thought I could get away with it, I'd probably wear a paper bag over my head as well 'cause my face goes blotchy too :( It's not too bad in winter because it's cold but in summer it's usually boiling hot at the dentists (no air conditioning and he has the window shut) so I feel like passing out! Anyone else?
 
OK - here's another one!  When I get stressed and in a panic, my skin goes all horrible and blotchy - sort of a bright red and pale white snake-like pattern  - I'm actually quite a bit embarrassed about it because it's blindingly obvious what a state I'm in

Same thing happens to me, except that I go bright beetroot red all over and not blotchy!  I hate it, :shame: especially when I come out of the surgery and into the waiting room and everyone is looking sympathetically (or with horror :scared:) at my purple beetroot face. Very hard trying to look cool :thumbsup:
 
Alas! People who finally understand where I'm coming from! :jump:

vicki said:
Actually I think I'd much prefer it if my dentist sat where I could see him, not so much for eye contact but more so that I know exactly what he's doing at all times (<--- that probably makes me sound like a complete control freak! :redface: )

As far as "control freaks" go I guess that makes two of us lol. That is another advantage, I'm always a bit jumpy when they sit behind me as well as it's harder to know what to expect.

Urrgggghhhh!!!!  :o :scared: I don't like the sound of that! Luckily I've never encountered one of those before - I'm pretty sure I'd be out of the surgery and running down the road by the time he'd got it out of the drawer!

Sorry I scared you Vicki  :censored:.  My description of the bite-block was poorly worded and came out a bit more intimidating then I had intended. To clarify, all it is, is a square block made of foam/rubber and it is made for the patient to bite down on. All it is used for is to just provide something to rest your teeth on so your jaw doesn't have to strain to stay open on it's own.  It usually rests on the side opposite of the tooth being worked on so it's not in the way and doesn't compromise the patients control over the situation in any way. On my experience with it, It got me to relax more than anything and I was actually heading for a panic at the time when she suggested that we should try it as a solution  :scared: , if that says anything lol.

OK - here's another one! :rolleyes: When I get stressed and in a panic, my skin goes all horrible and blotchy - sort of a bright red and pale white snake-like pattern :sick: - I'm actually quite a bit embarrassed about it because it's blindingly obvious what a state I'm in. So regardless of the weather, I wear clothes that cover as much of me as possible. If I thought I could get away with it, I'd probably wear a paper bag over my head as well 'cause my face goes blotchy too :( It's not too bad in winter because it's cold but in summer it's usually boiling hot at the dentists (no air conditioning and he has the window shut) so I feel like passing out! Anyone else?
Omg! You too?! That happens to me every single time and I hate it because I really can't control that no matter how many relaxation techniques I try or how relaxed I "Think" I am....it's like I'm allergic to the dentist rash and all :p LOL  I am also extremely self-concious about it so I choose clothes that will cover it, long pants, long sleeves, light jacket, sweat shirt whatever it takes. This begins to get a little ridiculous looking in the summertime living in Florida, my excuse is that they always keep the office really cold ;) (even though they don't  :sick:).  My mother has taken the liberty to point this strange phenomenon out to me before as if I didn't already notice?! It's quite obvious to me that I'm changing color I don't need to be told about it lol.  I'm really relieved to hear other people get that too though because I thought I was the only one here for awhile and was beginning to feel like a chameloen gone wrong lol! I've never understood what caused that, it's almost like the blood vessels  enlarge or something probably because the heart is beating twice as fast,  and the pattern spreads to the hands and everything so I also wear sleeves long enough to pull over my fingers lol.
 
kitkat said:
Sorry I scared you Vicki  :censored:.  My description of the bite-block was poorly worded and came out a bit more intimidating then I had intended.

Thanks for the description ;D. Now I know what it looks like and if my dentist ever puts one of those near my mouth I'm still gonna run at least 100 miles (if my legs will work that is! :p). No you didn't scare me though :) - I'm OK with written descriptions over the internet but if I were to see the real thing then that's an entirely different matter altogether and I'd go :scared: :scared: :scared: !!!

kitkat said:
Omg! You too?! That happens to me every single time and I hate it because I really can't control that no matter how many relaxation techniques I try or how relaxed I "Think" I am....it's like I'm allergic to the dentist rash and all :p LOL

Let's see.... at the next appointment I will be wearing a pair of jeans so I've got plenty of pockets to put all my stuff in (even though there's a spare chair - but you never know, it might not be there when I go!), a long sleeved top and probably a scarf or something round my neck to cover that up as well. Then of course there's all the make-up I'll have to put on (with a bucket and spade!) to even out my skin tone. The only problem is that my next appointment is in summer when the temperature will be about 20-25C and probably quite humid - which means that my make-up will probably melt because there's too much of it and I'll sweat to death because it'll be like a sauna in there!!! I can't win :rolleyes:.

OK, next percularity then (and I have many where going to the dentist's is concerned!): I get that scared that I usually throw up before I get in the building and also sometimes when I come out. To try and stop the sickness I don't eat anything for a few hours before as I reckon if my stomach is empty then I can't be sick (except it doesn't work out like that!). I suppose I'm terrified of throwing up when I'm actually in there :redface:. I don't think my dentist would be very impressed if I did a technicolour yawn all over the place :p (I know it sounds ridiculous!)...
 
vicki said:
Thanks for the description ;D. Now I know what it looks like and if my dentist ever puts one of those near my mouth I'm still gonna run at least 100 miles (if my legs will work that is! :p). No you didn't scare me though :) - I'm OK with written descriptions over the internet but if I were to see the real thing then that's an entirely different matter altogether and I'd go :scared: :scared: :scared: !!!

I know that feeling and it always seems to work in correlation with the times that my legs stop working and I become sorta paralyzed where ever I am, at that point my mind decides to just make a run for it and leave my body behind cause it's slowing it down  ;D.

OK, next percularity then (and I have many where going to the dentist's is concerned!): I get that scared that I usually throw up before I get in the building and also sometimes when I come out. To try and stop the sickness I don't eat anything for a few hours before as I reckon if my stomach is empty then I can't be sick (except it doesn't work out like that!). I suppose I'm terrified of throwing up when I'm actually in there :redface:. I don't think my dentist would be very impressed if I did a technicolour yawn all over the place :p (I know it sounds ridiculous!)...

This doesn't sound the least bit ridiculous to me  :).  I have had two or three times where this has happened to me.  It gets to like two days prior and my body just knows independently like clock work, I don't even usually have butterflies yet and my body is already setting up an escape route all by itself and I get so sick that the people around me believe I have some sort of onset flu or food poisoning and of course I go with that lol  That didn't begin happening until last year which is actually what began to concern me, cause it obviously wasn't a coincedence lol I'm just glad I get this out of my system beforehand and it's not onset approaching the building. I'm seriously beginning to  think this is a rare allergy that we all have! LOL There are so many more peculiarities that I have but can't seem to think of them at the moment...keep them coming!   :)

Oh! I got one, I have always wondered what might happen if I had to sneeze during treatment...I mean isn't it odd that you never need to for some reason I mean some day eventually that issue has to present itself in at least one person...what if your mouth is full of stuff or they are in the middle of drilling or something? And sneezes can just sneak up on you without notice, if you were to jerk forward like that it could have some undesirable consequences. Also when I'm getting sick and my throat is giving me problems I worry about if I'm going to have to cough during the middle of treatment and won't be able to.
 
kitkat said:
I know that feeling and it always seems to work in correlation with the times that my legs stop working and I become sorta paralyzed where ever I am, at that point my mind decides to just make a run for it and leave my body behind cause it's slowing it down  ;D.

;D I know the feeling! The minute the chair starts going back my mind has already left the building and is running down the road! The paralysis thing is probably the main reason why my vocabulary is limited to about 5 words and therefore why I can't confess to being terrified.

Although I did manage to make progress the last time because I was asked to fill in a medical history form. I couldn't fill it in at the dentist's because I was far too nervous and in too much of a state to hold a pen let alone write! So when I got it home, I decided to bite the bullet and confess to taking beta blockers before appointments. Still wondering if I've made a *huge* mistake but, only time will tell because I won't know until the next visit (which is a nice long 14 weeks away ;D). It might be like facing the Spanish Inquisition, it might be OK... Who knows...

kitkat said:
I get so sick that the people around me believe I have some sort of onset flu or food poisoning and of course I go with that lol

That's usually one of my favourite excuses as well! Although it doesn't always convince my mum who is a nurse (but she still hasn't figured out that I'm deathly afraid of going to the dentists which is a good thing because she's not the most sympathetic and understanding person :devilish:)

kitkat said:
Oh! I got one, I have always wondered what might happen if I had to sneeze during treatment...

-----

Also when I'm getting sick and my throat is giving me problems I worry about if I'm going to have to cough during the middle of treatment and won't be able to.

Fortunately it's never happened to me so I don't know, but I have wondered about it. I think I'd probably end up biting my dentists fingers (by accident :redface: ) and he'd probably go :o !!! Actually I don't fancy the thought of biting his fingers because they're rather boney and I'd probably end up breaking my teeth!

I also sometimes wonder what would happen if I was sick during an exam or treatment :confused: I don't have a gagging problem but I do feel like I'm constantly going to throw up because of nerves... I do worry about that quite a bit when I'm in the chair actually because I just have this mental picture of what it must be like to be poking about inside someone's mouth when they puke all over the place - urrrgghhh :sick: !!!! Partly why I don't eat for hours before an appointment (not that it makes any difference - I'm still sick down the drain outside in the carpark before I go in!).

I also worry about falling up and down the stairs! :redface: My sense of balance is not as good as it could be when I'm nervous and when I first went back to the dentist after an absence of several years (same practice as before but new dentist), his surgery was downstairs from the waiting room. When my name was called, I actually fell all the way down the stairs and through his door at the bottom! :p :redface: :redface: Seriously embarassing!!!

Maybe one day we'll all be able to go to an online 'virtual dentist' where you just log onto a website and show your teeth via a webcam and if you need any treatment, the tools are sent to you through the post and full instructions are on a webpage! ;D
 
vicki said:
;D I know the feeling! The minute the chair starts going back my mind has already left the building and is running down the road! The paralysis thing is probably the main reason why my vocabulary is limited to about 5 words and therefore why I can't confess to being terrified.

That must be what they mean by the phrase "it made me jump out of my skin" lol  For me it's the chair reclining too...I wonder what it is about that motion that sets off such a trigger in people...I guess that just switches that little light switch on to show you where you actually are, and what you are actually about to do, and who is actually around you, and your brain wakes up and goes  :scared:

Although I did manage to make progress the last time because I was asked to fill in a medical history form. I couldn't fill it in at the dentist's because I was far too nervous and in too much of a state to hold a pen let alone write! So when I got it home, I decided to bite the bullet and confess to taking beta blockers before appointments. Still wondering if I've made a *huge* mistake but, only time will tell because I won't know until the next visit (which is a nice long 14 weeks away ;D). It might be like facing the Spanish Inquisition, it might be OK... Who knows...
 

It's always nice to have those long appt breaks in between although it makes it a lot harder to return.  Beta blockers are for anxiety right? that might be a good subtle way of telling them without you actually having to "tell" them straight out about being anxious which could be good.  Or they may just even overlook it and not think too much of it.

That's usually one of my favourite excuses as well! Although it doesn't always convince my mum who is a nurse (but she still hasn't figured out that I'm deathly afraid of going to the dentists which is a good thing because she's not the most sympathetic and understanding person :devilish:)
Tell me about it! :( Do I have a story for you! My mom can go right up there with yours, who is a medical assistant. A little less than a year ago, she did the most evil thing :devilish:...I had to get my first filling in about 10 years in which case I was totally terrified so I faked sick and cancelled cause I couldn't go thru with it and she actually went and rescheduled my appointment for a later date and didn't bother to tell me until a little LESS THAN AN HOUR before the appt so I couldn't get out of it without being obvious with my fear which I wasn't about to reveal to her...I could have strangled her at that moment  :mad: it was clear she had a death wish that day!We were just sitting watching television and suddenly she's like "OMG you have a dentist appt!" and I was like "I do??? :o" and she was like "yeah your getting a filling!" and I was like "I AM ?!?! :scared: :scared: :scared:" She claims she forgot to mention it but I don't buy that.  That was one of the scariest moments of my life...I think I had a heart attack at that moment and my eyes leapt from my head LOL I've already mentioned this on another post but It's still circulating in my system lol


I think I'd probably end up biting my dentists fingers (by accident :redface: ) and he'd probably go :o !!!

I used to do that as a child...on purpose lol  :redface: They make that face that you demonstrated lol...I suppose that's coming back to bite me now...so to speak  :) lol

I also worry about falling up and down the stairs! :redface: My sense of balance is not as good as it could be when I'm nervous and when I first went back to the dentist after an absence of several years (same practice as before but new dentist), his surgery was downstairs from the waiting room. When my name was called, I actually fell all the way down the stairs and through his door at the bottom!  :p  :redface:  :redface:  Seriously embarassing!!!

I'm very relieved that mine doesn't have stairs as I would probably end up throwing myself up and down them as well lol.  Darn that gravity! Seems sorta like the office was pulling you towards that chair against your will  :o.  

Maybe one day we'll all be able to go to an online 'virtual dentist' where you just log onto a website and show your teeth via a webcam and if you need any treatment, the tools are sent to you through the post and full instructions are on a webpage!  ;D

Sounds good to me...where can I sign up?  :)
 
kitkat said:
Oh! I got one, I have always wondered what might happen if I had to sneeze during treatment...I mean isn't it odd that you never need to for some reason I mean some day eventually that issue has to present itself in at least one person...what if your mouth is full of stuff or they are in the middle of drilling or something? And sneezes can just sneak up on you without notice, if you were to jerk forward like that it could have some undesirable consequences. Also when I'm getting sick and my throat is giving me problems I worry about if I'm going to have to cough during the middle of treatment and won't be able to.

Why not just ask your dentist what you should do in case that happens, or if it would be a problem :)? I remember asking that about all sorts of things (e. g. shaking during x-rays or treatment, and also about the lip balm issue), and my dentist was always able to put my mind at rest.
 
letsconnect said:
Why not just ask your dentist what you should do in case that happens, or if it would be a problem :)? I remember asking that about all sorts of things (e. g. shaking during x-rays or treatment, and also about the lip balm issue), and my dentist was always able to put my mind at rest.
Good point Lets! I suppose I could just ask lol But what if it comes without warning?...then what would happen... hmm I guess you've just got a problem period :p
 
I'm sure people must sneeze unexpectedly during dental treatment :) - I'll ask a dentist and report back!
 
Thanks Lets  ;D

I have another peculiarity which is the possibility of being a "guinea pig" for one of the assistants or whatever.  This seems to have been the case two times in my life prior which I believe is the origin of where this fear came from lol.  Once when I was getting sealants on my teeth (thank God! it was only sealants!) I heard the assistant assisting the hygenist say "can I try" referring to a sealant and the hygenist agreed  :scared: very scary moment! lol I strongly disliked this practice and ended up switching very soon thereafter.  

The second time was actually at the one I'm at now but it was only for a cleaning (Thank God these are harmless things) and the girl couldn't figure out how to hold the suction or get it to stay in my mouth on its own so gave me that job lol also she had to work the polisher with two hands...something told me she was new at this as she was extremely awkward with the tools and got more toothpaste on my jacket then in my mouth lol. I was a good sport about it though as I figured a little toothpaste never hurt anybody :).
 
My dentist has a row of hooks on the surgery wall (treatment room) for me to hang a coat / bag on there is also a seat there for me to put a bag on. I preffer to be lay back flat to have treatment and she (my dentist) sits behind me slightly to my right behind me where i can see her. i find it more reassuring being able to have eye contact with her. At one appointment once she lowered the chair half way bach so i was semi reclined and stood behind me to treat me. Although i could still see her and had eye contact i preffer to be lay flat and have her sit behind me,
 
i knew being a tomboy would come in handy one day ;D no handbag worries,leave my coat in the car and stuff my keys in my pocket. even now with my superstar i still stand there looking dim till he sayssit down the chair still scares me :( lets, i couldnt keep my eyes closed id miss seing his lovely face :cloud9:
 
harper said:
i knew even now with my superstar i still stand there looking dim till he sayssit down the chair still scares me :(

Me too :rolleyes: I definitely stand there dithering in the doorway! Mine usually smirks and says "are you coming in or not?"

I always close my eyes the minute I sit in the chair due to complete terror so I don't really know what my dentist looks like! But the more I read people's posts on here, I'm wondering if I'm missing out on something so I'm gonna make a real effort to have a good look at the next appointment (in 4 weeks  :scared: :hidesbehindsofa:) ;D.
 
hi vicki
go on you can do it open your eyes! its funny ive never thought of closing mine. often thought of clamping my mouth shut mind you ;D i get up go in the door and just stand there poor c never forget when he asked me :"do i scare you" never how could he :-* drop me a pm if u have time let me know your ok
 
vicki said:
I always close my eyes the minute I sit in the chair due to complete terror so I don't really know what my dentist looks like! But the more I read people's posts on here, I'm wondering if I'm missing out on something so I'm gonna make a real effort to have a good look at the next appointment (in 4 weeks  :scared:  :hidesbehindsofa:) ;D.

Hi Vicky
I have a theory - the worse your phobia, the more likely you are to close your eyes. I have been a relaxed dental patient for most (but not all) of my life and hope to be so again - I have NEVER closed my eyes (except when gassed!) - I'm an expert on what ceiling tiles look like though! My very phobic (hasn't been for years) friend says she has always closed her eyes immediately.

Personally I would have thought it's scarier to not know what's coming and also it's much harder for your dentist to talk you through things, if you are making zero eye contact - not to mention as you say missing out on the Michelle34 :-* experience (possibly).

I agree with Harper, you should definitely give it a try - there are some posters who have said, they used to close their eyes but now find eye contact makes it easier to stay calm. I really would have thought the quality of communication is impaired if you close your eyes...but who knows maybe dentists prefer it that way...you'd have to ask them....
Cheers
Brit
 
Hi...in the US the assistants typically take you to the room and you are seated in the chair by the time the dentist comes in. I am ususally in the chair shaking, hands tightly clasped together and legs crossed when the dentist arrives afraid to move an inch...I am stiff as a board. But the other day, I was the first appointment. The assistant wasn't ready, so the dentist came up front to take me to the room. I absolutely panicked. I felt like I was walking the last mile. On the way to the room he tried to start a conversation :scared: (He asked what was going on? I said "not much" then he said "so being here is your high point" I said "OH YEAH") When we got to the room he said have a seat. I did, but with a sheer look of terror on my face :scared: He sat next to me talking in a calm reassuring voice...it really helped. I try to make eye contact with him, as he has a reassuring way of letting me know he is aware of my fear, but many times I just look down out of fear.
 
i t
its funny how the small changes make such a HUGE difference if the assistant came and got me id freak and run out!
 
Hi M....I used to hear all of you say how the dentist took you to the room and think I would prefer that. I probably would if it was just for a check up, but when I knew he was going to be doing something that I feared, well it really freaked me out :scared: When he look right at me and said have a seat, I tried to appear calm, but I know I must have turned white as a ghost. I normally hang my purse on a hook, but this time I just clung on to it for dear life :scared: trying to keep him from seeing my shaking hands lol.

Most of his assistants make me feel very uncomfortable, but there is one that has been assisting lately that I really like. My sister said that if he sees that an assistant make you feel more relaxed, he always asks them to assist him with you. She is really nice and gentle. She always calls me by my first name and always asks how I am doing. All the other assistants use my last name (my ex-husbands name, which I have only kept for business reasons.)
 
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