M
maliasheart
Member
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2019
- Messages
- 35
- Location
- Germany
Hey,
Today marks exactly two days before my appointment and unfortunately, I’ve not been doing so well. I fear being alone, even for a few minutes, because I spiral so quickly, I’ve cancelled all the exams I was supposed to take this week and I‘m on sleeping pills because that’s the only way I calm down enough to get a decent amount of sleep. So, it’s been hard.
I think the tooth I’m focusing on the most is my front one because it feels weird. It feels tight and my gums tickle around but I can’t pinpoint exactly where because it moves around and I’m just so terrified that my two front teeth are dying. I mentioned two front teeth having “tiny” cavities, right? Well, on both teeth I noticed a black line going from the cavity towards the gum and ever since I noticed it, I’ve been dead sure that both teeth are cracked below the gum line and there is no saving them, even though I feel no pain on pressure or sensitivity that would last longer than a second. I know this means nothing though and I can’t stop thinking they’re cracked.
I called my brother yesterday because he’s the only person I know who’s close to my age and has had quite some work done that goes beyond a regular filling. All this time I thought he had only one crown but he told me he actually has two because two of his teeth died and he’s then had to have root canal and then some fake nerve put in and the teeth were then crowned. He also had all his amalgam fillings taken out because they’re illegal in the country he lives in and he like didn’t have a normal white filling put in but porcelain? I’m not sure but it was some fancy ass filling and his teeth look amazing. He’s been telling me to calm down because he’s sure everything’s gonna be okay and fixed and he even jammed his whole phone in his mouth so he could show me how good his teeth look after all the work he’s had done. I felt amazingly confident after I’ve talked to him but it only lasted a few minutes because I KNOW he has an amazing dentist but the said dentist is private and I’m going to one that takes my insurance and I don’t even know if he’s a good dentist. My distrust in people is now awake and ready to ramble.
Anyway, my family is looking into some extra dental insurance for me because I’m currently the only one who doesn’t have the extra insurance and I’m thankful that they’re thinking of me and actively working for my peace of mind but guys, I’m so terrified I don’t think I can do it. I mean, I know I’m going to do it because I want to have my teeth healthy but I just know I’m gonna cry and complain my whole way through it. I feel so weak and sad and discouraged and so, so, so incredibly scared and worried. It feels like this whole thing is consuming me and I just can’t. The more I look at my teeth, the more sure I am that my front tooth is dying, the two teeth next to my front teeth are cracked and will need to be extracted, there’s decay under all my filings and god knows what else that I can’t even tell because, despite my self-diagnosing tendencies, I am, in fact, not a dentist.
I’ve gotten a message today, a reminder that my appointment is in two days. As if I would need a reminder for that lol.
Thanks for putting up with me. I hope all of you are having a better time than I am right now, x
Today marks exactly two days before my appointment and unfortunately, I’ve not been doing so well. I fear being alone, even for a few minutes, because I spiral so quickly, I’ve cancelled all the exams I was supposed to take this week and I‘m on sleeping pills because that’s the only way I calm down enough to get a decent amount of sleep. So, it’s been hard.
I think the tooth I’m focusing on the most is my front one because it feels weird. It feels tight and my gums tickle around but I can’t pinpoint exactly where because it moves around and I’m just so terrified that my two front teeth are dying. I mentioned two front teeth having “tiny” cavities, right? Well, on both teeth I noticed a black line going from the cavity towards the gum and ever since I noticed it, I’ve been dead sure that both teeth are cracked below the gum line and there is no saving them, even though I feel no pain on pressure or sensitivity that would last longer than a second. I know this means nothing though and I can’t stop thinking they’re cracked.
I called my brother yesterday because he’s the only person I know who’s close to my age and has had quite some work done that goes beyond a regular filling. All this time I thought he had only one crown but he told me he actually has two because two of his teeth died and he’s then had to have root canal and then some fake nerve put in and the teeth were then crowned. He also had all his amalgam fillings taken out because they’re illegal in the country he lives in and he like didn’t have a normal white filling put in but porcelain? I’m not sure but it was some fancy ass filling and his teeth look amazing. He’s been telling me to calm down because he’s sure everything’s gonna be okay and fixed and he even jammed his whole phone in his mouth so he could show me how good his teeth look after all the work he’s had done. I felt amazingly confident after I’ve talked to him but it only lasted a few minutes because I KNOW he has an amazing dentist but the said dentist is private and I’m going to one that takes my insurance and I don’t even know if he’s a good dentist. My distrust in people is now awake and ready to ramble.
Anyway, my family is looking into some extra dental insurance for me because I’m currently the only one who doesn’t have the extra insurance and I’m thankful that they’re thinking of me and actively working for my peace of mind but guys, I’m so terrified I don’t think I can do it. I mean, I know I’m going to do it because I want to have my teeth healthy but I just know I’m gonna cry and complain my whole way through it. I feel so weak and sad and discouraged and so, so, so incredibly scared and worried. It feels like this whole thing is consuming me and I just can’t. The more I look at my teeth, the more sure I am that my front tooth is dying, the two teeth next to my front teeth are cracked and will need to be extracted, there’s decay under all my filings and god knows what else that I can’t even tell because, despite my self-diagnosing tendencies, I am, in fact, not a dentist.
I’ve gotten a message today, a reminder that my appointment is in two days. As if I would need a reminder for that lol.
Thanks for putting up with me. I hope all of you are having a better time than I am right now, x