• Dental Phobia Support

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Haven’t been to the dentist in 8 years

Happy New Year to you too, Maliasheart. :)
I've been hiding offline for a few days and am just catching up on your story. Wow, you really do worry yourself, don't you? Very well done on your success at the appointment! It is a success and you should be proud. I'm certainly impressed!
Okay, so your own mind keeps throwing newer worries at you; I guess that is just your way. Perhaps you can attend, in some degree, to that later. Incidentally, the way I define "hypochondria" is over-worrying but doing nothing about it. You are very actively addressing your worrying. This is something else to be proud of. You are certainly not shying away from stuff. Surely this can only be beneficial. Even looking around here and doing some (limited!) comparing is still a form of self-help. You are definitely being brave.
How many days now to the original appointment? That seemed to be your focal point of fear but hopefully even some of that fear is less now. You have had some feedback from a dentist now, plus you have one appt under your belt. Well done!
Keep posting. Sharing concerns surely helps you somehow. Maybe even helps others?
Thanks for updating. :)
 
Hi guys,

i’ll start by saying that I’m so happy I found this place because the support you’ve been showing me is something that helps keeping me sane.

in my last post I mentioned that a gum above my tooth started acting weird. Well, after I’ve brushed off the initial white covering from my gums it exposed another layer of gum underneath and it was red and angry-looking so naturally I panicked. I could see the borders of where my normal gum started and I was sure this was either cancer or periodontal disease. I panicked, however, my family didn’t and they told me to rinse and rinse and rinse, so I did. This happened friday and it’s now monday, I’m miles away from my family because I had to go back to my college. My gum is still looking the same but I guess it’s a little better than it was on saturday morning.
And it’s just this patch, the gums anywhere else in my mouth looks normal and pink. my mind is doing all sorts of acrobatics and google’s not being much of a help either.

I think it might be a burn from the medicine the dentist has given me. But then again, a bit above the affected tooth, there’s also that white stuff that’s peeling off but this one hurts so maybe it’s just a canker sore gone wild?

most of all I’m scared that it’s an infection (or cancer but i’m not even gonna go there) and I’m gonna have so much bone loss by the time my dentist appointment rolls around.. it doesn’t hurt a lot, only a bit right after brushing my teeth (because I unwillingly scrape off the skin that developed over night when it’s left alone) and if I push on it, obviously. There’s no pus or a bump or pimple like thing so far as I can tell. Does this sound like an abscess?

There’s exactly 18 days until my appointment. I’ve still got two weeks worth of classes and the monday before my appointment is the day where my exams start so I’ll be busy but I know myself well enough that it’s not gonna help me with worrying less.

i’ve been a crying mess lately guys, I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to calm down and I have absolutely no idea how much longer I can keep doing this. “Stressed“ doesn’t even begin to cover what I’m feeling right now.

I hope you guys are doing and feeling better than I am right now, x
 
Hi guys,

i’ll start by saying that I’m so happy I found this place because the support you’ve been showing me is something that helps keeping me sane.

in my last post I mentioned that a gum above my tooth started acting weird. Well, after I’ve brushed off the initial white covering from my gums it exposed another layer of gum underneath and it was red and angry-looking so naturally I panicked. I could see the borders of where my normal gum started and I was sure this was either cancer or periodontal disease. I panicked, however, my family didn’t and they told me to rinse and rinse and rinse, so I did. This happened friday and it’s now monday, I’m miles away from my family because I had to go back to my college. My gum is still looking the same but I guess it’s a little better than it was on saturday morning.
And it’s just this patch, the gums anywhere else in my mouth looks normal and pink. my mind is doing all sorts of acrobatics and google’s not being much of a help either.

I think it might be a burn from the medicine the dentist has given me. But then again, a bit above the affected tooth, there’s also that white stuff that’s peeling off but this one hurts so maybe it’s just a canker sore gone wild?

most of all I’m scared that it’s an infection (or cancer but i’m not even gonna go there) and I’m gonna have so much bone loss by the time my dentist appointment rolls around.. it doesn’t hurt a lot, only a bit right after brushing my teeth (because I unwillingly scrape off the skin that developed over night when it’s left alone) and if I push on it, obviously. There’s no pus or a bump or pimple like thing so far as I can tell. Does this sound like an abscess?

There’s exactly 18 days until my appointment. I’ve still got two weeks worth of classes and the monday before my appointment is the day where my exams start so I’ll be busy but I know myself well enough that it’s not gonna help me with worrying less.

i’ve been a crying mess lately guys, I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to calm down and I have absolutely no idea how much longer I can keep doing this. “Stressed“ doesn’t even begin to cover what I’m feeling right now.

I hope you guys are doing and feeling better than I am right now, x

Update: i showed my gum to two of my very good friends and I told them about my fear and worries and they immediately dropped their lectures and went with me to the dentist and they sat with me and tried to distract me until it was time for me to go in. The dentist was nice but very down to business and she told me that it’s just a blister that “exploded” and this is just how wounds look on the gum and it’ll heal on its own and i shouldn’t worry. She did say that there’s nothing they could do but wait.
 
Hi guys...

I guess I should start with stating three simple facts:
1. I am a hypochondriac
2. I haven’t been to the dentist in 8/9 years
3. I cry just thinking about going to the dentist

before I start listing all that is wrong with my teeth, I guess I just say that I already made an appointment, however, it’s a whole month away and I’m scared the cavity that prompted me to make an appointment is going to get so much worse until then.
I have always hated going to the dentist because I had to have two teeth extracted when I was a child, even though I don’t remember the cavities being that bad. That one experience was enough for me to put off going to the dentist for years and years and even though at this moment my teeth don’t hurt (and haven’t even once in the 8 years) I know it’s time to go because I’ve got some visible cavities (but they’re tiny - except one) and I’m scared all my teeth are going to break off at any given moment.
i just can’t stop worrying that the dentist is going to take one look at my teeth and go “yeah, they’re gonna have to be extracted,”. I convinced myself that even though the cavities aren’t bad or even the teeth that look healthy, aren’t healthy at all and they’re all very bad and I’m gonna end up with dentures at 22. I keep drinking very cold and hot drinks to check if my teeth are sensitive to it, I keep checking with a mirror and a flash light, I lost some pounds because I’m too scared to eat and it’s just overall a very bad mental time for me.
For the majority of the 8 years I’ve brushed once a day (which I know is very bad) and not flossed once, but ever since I started being extra aware of my teeth I’ve been brushing twice a day and using mouthwash three times a day. I’m even trying to floss even though no one ever told me how to do it properly. Since I started brushing twice a day, my gums started bleeding and it sometimes hurts when I push on them but I do feel like they’re starting to calm down.
I just feel very ashamed and embarrassed for putting myself in this situation and I feel like I deserve bad teeth because I was the one who put off going to the dentist.
I know the one cavity I really worry about isn’t that big but it’s still bigger than the ones I’ve had for at least 5 years. And yeah, I know that’s a long time but they haven’t grown at all and they don’t hurt but I still worry they’re gonna have to pull my teeth out.
God, I have no idea how I’m going to survive another month before my appointment and I can’t even begin to imagine how I’ll manage to go through my appointment.
i’m really sorry if i’m being annoying, i’m just really scared and I feel like i’m going crazy
Hi I’m 20 and had my first appointment in 7 years on Monday, it went so much better than I thought. I was also in the run up constantly checking my teeth picking fault at every small thing turns out everything was fine and all I needed was one small filling. I felt the same way about the greyish tint around my back tooth with a filling which also had a tiny chip and they said that it was absolutely fine, along with the xrays. It is no where near as bad as I remember it being as a child. You can do it and you will feel so much better afterward x
 
Sounds like good news. Please go back as directed for you regular visits!
 
Guys,

today has been a challenge. Since I last posted, I’ve actually been doing pretty well, up until today of course.

i’ve still been checking my teeth all the time and noticing some brownish lines and I’ve been able to put it down to idk maybe plague or something but today I woke up and went to check with my phone flash light and two of my back molars have those brownish lines right at the gum line and if i poke the gum with my nail it like pulls back from the tooth and i’ve been freaking out and crying ever since because in my head that means my two molars are rotting at the root and that means either root canal or pulling them out.

guys, I can’t deal with this anymore. I’ve still got two whole weeks until my appointment and I just can’t stop worrying about root canals and crowns and god knows what. Why didn’t I brush my teeth more than once a day? Why didn’t I go to my dentist regularly? Why am I doing this to myself?

i’m so scared of what is happening to my teeth, I keep pushing on the upper first molar that has a chipped filling to check if it hurts, I keep checking my lower two molars to watch the brownish lines and make myself feel bad because I just can’t stop. And also to top everything off, since I pulled that gum back with my nails I’m now scared I trapped some bacteria in that area and now that’s just going to make my two teeth rot faster.

I’ve now convinced myself that I’m going to need at least three crowns and it’s making me feel completely helpless and I just feel defeated and scared and so incredibly sad I feel like I’m never going to be able to smile again.
 
maliasheart, hi. Slow down a bit if you can, please. You are tearing yourself up there.
I'm no expert and I can only suggest. Is your worst case scenario the fear of 3 crowns? You do realise that you would be the only one who would know they were crowns? Also, a good crown, well cared for, can pretty much last a lifetime. But none of this means you are getting 3 crowns.
Still 2 weeks to find out though? Seems like forever when you have got so worried.
I'm afraid I don't know anything about the signs of rotting molars. (Hope you aren't relying on google for your truths though... we have all gone to Dr Google for something surely but according to that method, I think I'm on, like, my 18th life now!) But I'm not dismissing your fear. No way. Fear is real and is always easier to confirm than resist.
One thing I want to suggest though is to maybe stop looking too closely. You have done that and now have 2 weeks of very disturbing fear to deal with. It would be nice if we could unthink things, or unsee them. Unfortunately we can't. For 2 weeks though, you could try to not look any further. It won't be easy, we are who we are. But we can change our behaviours and the knock-on effects can save so much grief. Habits form without our knowledge so often. But the reverse can also be true. For the next 2 weeks, as many times as you can, consciously try not to look for trouble. It might sound silly but even take a note of every time you succeed in not generating a new worry. Then count how many times you succeeded in avoiding a fresh worry. You might be surprised. Or you might not be but trying for 2 weeks to behave oppositely can reveal much. Just a suggestion, that's all. But do keep posting, especially if it helps distract yourself for 2 weeks. People do listen and some will have better advice than me. :) For sure. Anyway, I'll try to count with you.
Best of luck trying.
 
maliasheart, hi. Slow down a bit if you can, please. You are tearing yourself up there.
I'm no expert and I can only suggest. Is your worst case scenario the fear of 3 crowns? You do realise that you would be the only one who would know they were crowns? Also, a good crown, well cared for, can pretty much last a lifetime. But none of this means you are getting 3 crowns.
Still 2 weeks to find out though? Seems like forever when you have got so worried.
I'm afraid I don't know anything about the signs of rotting molars. (Hope you aren't relying on google for your truths though... we have all gone to Dr Google for something surely but according to that method, I think I'm on, like, my 18th life now!) But I'm not dismissing your fear. No way. Fear is real and is always easier to confirm than resist.
One thing I want to suggest though is to maybe stop looking too closely. You have done that and now have 2 weeks of very disturbing fear to deal with. It would be nice if we could unthink things, or unsee them. Unfortunately we can't. For 2 weeks though, you could try to not look any further. It won't be easy, we are who we are. But we can change our behaviours and the knock-on effects can save so much grief. Habits form without our knowledge so often. But the reverse can also be true. For the next 2 weeks, as many times as you can, consciously try not to look for trouble. It might sound silly but even take a note of every time you succeed in not generating a new worry. Then count how many times you succeeded in avoiding a fresh worry. You might be surprised. Or you might not be but trying for 2 weeks to behave oppositely can reveal much. Just a suggestion, that's all. But do keep posting, especially if it helps distract yourself for 2 weeks. People do listen and some will have better advice than me. :) For sure. Anyway, I'll try to count with you.
Best of luck trying.

Hello, Ilovemydentistreally

thank you for your lovely response and the advice you gave me. Since that post earlier in the day, I’ve managed to calm down a little. That’s not to say I’m not currently worrying but I realise that getting a crown on a tooth would be better than getting a root canal or having it extracted.

I noticed my worry keeps jumping between mainly two teeth - the one with the chipped filling (first upper left molar) and the one that definitely has a cavity at the side (second lower left molar and also that’s the OG cavity that has promped me to make the appointment and also the biggest cavity I have in my mouth from what I can tell because I have no way of knowing what’s hiding under my fillings). When I first made the appointment I was very calm about it as in “oh look a cavity, they are just gonna fill this and send me on my way” but I completely disregarded the fact that I already have a rather large filling in that tooth and while the cavity doesn’t seem “big” to me, it might actually be big to a dentist or i don’t know. It doesn’t hurt and i’m not getting any sensitivity so I hope it’s not deep and I’m still gonna be able to get away with a new filling but like I said, there might be some trouble under the filling that I don’t know about and it’s gonna need to be saved with a crown, if that. The lower fillings are also the ones who have not been checked by that local dentist who I’ve been to last week.

you said I should stop checking my teeth and you’re absolutely right but I don’t know if I’m able not to check? It’s like this fear took over my life and now I’m obsessed. I can’t even explain why I’m so afraid of crowns? My brother has one and he’s got real nice teeth since he started going back to the dentist. I’m just scared that it would fail on me and I would have to have the tooth extracted, I guess.

i’m going home today so hopefully I’ll manage to drag myself out of this panic I’m feeling.

thank you guys, really. For reading and for giving advice and being so supportive.
 
Hi guys,

i haven’t posted in a bit, mainly because I’ve been doing surprisingly good. I’ve only checked my teeth with a mirror and flashlight twice which is a drastic change to how many times I did it before. Anyway, I’ve got a problem.

yesterday I drank some really, really cold water and I noticed that I felt that cold water in all my front teeth but mainly upper right front tooth. Since there’s no decay on that tooth, I did that thing where you tap on your tooth and see if it hurts or not. If I just tap it with the my finger (the soft part), it doesn’t hurt, if I tap on it with my nail it sometimes does. It’s not pain per say, I would say more like an awareness or sensitivity, but I know that doesn’t say much. It’s so vague that I could be able to play it off as my imagination but I know it’s not. Am I gonna need a root canal? Is my pulp dying from some kind of trauma that I don’t even remember? I know these things show up on the x-rays so now I’m even terrified of the part of the appointment that was supposed to be easy.

It doesn’t hurt to bite down and it doesn’t even always hurt when I tap it.

I know you’re not dentists and I know my questions can only really be answered by my dentist and that appointment is 12 days away.

I’ve been doing really good and then this. Now I can’t stop thinking that my pulp is dying and I’m gonna need a root canal that may or may not work and then maybe extraction and I feel like that’s making it hard to breathe for me.

Hope you guys are doing well, x
 
11 days to go. We're still with you. :)
I really don't know about the tapping thing.
Just keep trying to handle your anxiety. You're doing great with it, really, it just seems like forever. But the 11 days will pass. Tick tock! Then at least you get some definite answers.
Doing okay, thanks for asking, though have bottled it this weekend about wobbly teeth as my new dentures are so tight. Kept thinking that I didn't want any "trouble" over the weekend. I'll get back to facing up to stuff today... I hope. Just hoping for some quick gum shrinkage because I'd rather they were too loose than so tight like they have been. Anyway, that's for my own thread. Sorry. :)
 
Maliasheart..

Its so hard to wait, seems like every question comes up in our minds between making our appts and walking through the door.. I hope you can find some positive distractions between now and then . I know I've had "pulp testing". where they put this little prob, can't feel it , just like touching your gum.. to see if the tooth is "vital " or not. to see if everything is ok.. I know they puta tooth or two of mine on kind of a watch. but nothing terribly urgent. I hope this next few days goes by quick so you can get your answers.
 
11 days to go. We're still with you. :)
I really don't know about the tapping thing.
Just keep trying to handle your anxiety. You're doing great with it, really, it just seems like forever. But the 11 days will pass. Tick tock! Then at least you get some definite answers.
Doing okay, thanks for asking, though have bottled it this weekend about wobbly teeth as my new dentures are so tight. Kept thinking that I didn't want any "trouble" over the weekend. I'll get back to facing up to stuff today... I hope. Just hoping for some quick gum shrinkage because I'd rather they were too loose than so tight like they have been. Anyway, that's for my own thread. Sorry. :)

No, please don’t be sorry! I’d rather read other people’s stories than be stuck probbing my teeth and checking (tho i’ve been better at not doing that!) with a mirror all the time. Hope things got better for you in the past few days!
 
Maliasheart..

Its so hard to wait, seems like every question comes up in our minds between making our appts and walking through the door.. I hope you can find some positive distractions between now and then . I know I've had "pulp testing". where they put this little prob, can't feel it , just like touching your gum.. to see if the tooth is "vital " or not. to see if everything is ok.. I know they puta tooth or two of mine on kind of a watch. but nothing terribly urgent. I hope this next few days goes by quick so you can get your answers.

I think the hardest part of all of this is waiting. I would have never worried myself this sick if I had the appointment a week away from when I made it. It’s awful and the days keep passing me by and each and every one of them feels like a whole month. I’m not one for wishing away my days but damn I wish this was all over already and I can move onto better things.

Yeah, I remember the first dentist I went to earlier this month did this to the gum above my wisdom tooth. Couldn’t feel anything but I thought I did because I was so scared lol.

Thanks for listening and replying, x
 
Hey guys!

I am, dare I say, in a good mood! Though this happens to me all the time when I worry about some disease I might have or waiting for a doctor’s appointment, I reach a point where I’m just so tired and exhausted that I don’t have it in me to actively worry about a current issue. So I’m a happy little champer at this moment, hope it lasts a bit longer than usual :grin:

Now to the update:
1.) Tapping thing situation: my family gave me great advice; if tapping the tooth causes discomfort, stop freaking tapping it. And I did. I stopped. And guess what? I did a little tap tap test today and it doesn’t hurt anymore so I’m going to put this down as me irritating the tooth by tapping it, making it worse by constantly tapping it and then it getting better when I stopped constantly tapping it. I’m still going to mention it to my dentist, just to be sure, but for now - the issue is being put to rest.
2.) I get rid of one issue and the next one comes up? More likely than you think. So I brushed my teeth last night and the filling on this one tooth just felt weird (it always felt weird, but I was worry free for a whole day and apparently I can’t let that happen so this turned into a ~problem~ filling). Before I say anything else, this is the filling that the first dentist said looked fine and even did that drag thingy over it and told me it looks like all is normal. Anyway, as my loved ones love to joke, I am the “specialist” so I took a mirror, took a look at the problem zone and obviously found a problem. I’ve got two fillings on that tooth, one is a bit bigger and then there’s a little line where there’s no filling and then a smaller one. Between the two fillings my eagle eye noticed this little dot of red? brown? Who knows? It looked red to me however, so I immediately jumped into the “THIS IS MY NERVE I HAVE AN EXPOSED NERVE IN MY TOOTH, it doesn’t hurt whatsoever, isn’t sensitive at all, BUT IT’S DEFINITELY MY NERVE,” so you can see that I keep getting on my own nerves (haha, see what I did there?). I keep downplaying my worry because I don’t want to keep worrying but it’s still this nagging feeling at the back of my head. Would I get an exposed nerve from the time a legit dentist told me the filling looks fine till now? Would I feel any pain? I poked around that area a bit and there was a bit of something when I stabbed the end of the flosser there (did i take it as evidence that it’s my nerve? Maybe so) but it happened once in the dozens of time i poked it so... maybe not a nerve? Maybe just a little brown spot from tainting? Or a lil cavity? Please someone tell me it’s not a nerve.

Anyway, I thought I would have to sacrifice my good mood for this post, but no! Am still full of energy and positivity (is it gonna last me the whole day? Probably not but let’s not think about it). I hope you guys are well and none of you are worrying too much and I hope you all laugh a lot!
 
I really wanted to press the "laugh" button, but I always worry that that could be mistaken for downplaying someone's serious worry. But, funny... the way you tell it. :)
Glad you are on the up today. One day closer.
Keep smiling and "stop freaking tapping"...
Anyway, I reckon if the dot thing was a nerve it would be as painful as anything. I once had a verruca when I was at high school. Someone told me you had to get to the root to get it out. So I went digging... Found a tiny red thing and though, "bingo!" I went to yank it out. The pain!!! All the way up my leg! It remains the sorest thing I can ever remember. (Yes, I am that comically stupid... lol.)
 
I really wanted to press the "laugh" button, but I always worry that that could be mistaken for downplaying someone's serious worry. But, funny... the way you tell it. :)
Glad you are on the up today. One day closer.
Keep smiling and "stop freaking tapping"...
Anyway, I reckon if the dot thing was a nerve it would be as painful as anything. I once had a verruca when I was at high school. Someone told me you had to get to the root to get it out. So I went digging... Found a tiny red thing and though, "bingo!" I went to yank it out. The pain!!! All the way up my leg! It remains the sorest thing I can ever remember. (Yes, I am that comically stupid... lol.)

Oh dear lord that sounds painful o_O i guess I’m the same in that aspect, as soon as I find something hurts I keep poking and probbing and even pulling the thing out (just straight up pulled off a few warts in my lifetime). I guess that’s why I’m so nervous for my dentist’s appointment as I’m not the one in control and I can’t take care of it myself.
 
Hi, hey, hello, it’s me,

I’ve actually been doing great the past few days. Had some laughs with my friends, spent some time off google so I had no chance to drive myself crazy with failed root canals and crowns and extractions.

I’m feeling a bit down today, probably because it has just come to me that my appointment is only 8 days away now! The thing is, I initially had the opportunity to have my appointment on the 21st, but I declined because on the 24th I’ll have my x-rays taken (which I wouldn’t have on the 21st), the appointment is in the morning AND a friend of mine has her appointment before me so I at least won’t be alone for the most part. I now regret that decision because I really just want to get my teeth fixed and not panic over every little twinge in my mouth (honestly, why I never been told that you can cut your gums with flossing incorrectly and that that’s gonna cause some sensitivity on said gums that I mistook for tooth sensitivity and called home at two in the morning, crying because that means root canal, right? Right? No, Malia, it means you need to go to sleep)

Now back to my freaking out stuff. I am, in fact, a panicked mess right now. Like I mentioned in my previous posts, I have 5 fillings. Had them for at least 10 years. Only one of them is what I would say not large. Two of them cover like 95% of my tooth from the top, the sides are visible and all but I’m aware these fillings are old, I’m aware that they’re gonna need to be replaced as they’re amalgam and they’re tainting the two larger filled teeth. Now, I’ve been driving myself half insane with the thought of having decay under my fillings. And when I say “half insane” I really mean “full insane” like that insanity glass is overflowing, once I start thinking about it, I’m out, there is not a single rational thought left in my body. The thing is, crowns aren’t bad? They’re not. I’ve hung out with two people on the same day and had the exact same conversation with but the results were drastically different,

Person 1: my flatmate, known him my whole life, never knew he had a tooth infection, had to have a root canal and a crown placed on. Right know he’s been having a gum infection for 3 whole weeks, is still pretty damn chill and answered my “hey, I’m terrified of maybe getting a crown” with a “lmao but why?”
Person 2: my best friend of 7 years, had been a bit out of touch with each other because life and college and other friends, is obsessed with tooth hygiene, has never needed a single filling in her life, is dead afraid of teeth falling out and/or getting fillings and/or crowns. Very scared of the dentist as she had a whole gum surgery done not fully numbed up, had the same dentist as me as a child (hint: we were both terrified and traumatised by this woman). She answered my “yo, crowns terrify me pls help” with “crowns? CROWNS? I can’t even think of fillings without crying”.

So you can see I’m very conflicted. I don’t know anyone my age having a crown, let alone maybe having two? Three? God forbid, four? The only people around my age that have crowns is my brother who has one (1) and my flatmate who also has one (1) and they’re both two years older. And I swing into the scene after running away from the dentist for 8 almost 9 years and end up maybe having 4? That’s a lot, at least for me. And the thing is, whenever someone talks about crowns and stuff I’m like “they’re great if they save your tooth, it’s nothing bad or something to be ashamed of,” and then I go home and lay in my bed and the only thing I can think of is that I might have decay under all my five fillings and they’re all pretty big so the dentist will surely want to just put a crown on it and call it a day and I just... cannot. I, hands down, can-absolutely-not.

And another thing, I’ve had decay on two of my front upper teeth for at least 5 years, right. And they never changed or grew or anything, it’s just there, the same size as it was when I had the obligatory school health check up. But but but, I’m the one who has never seen a change, the change could be happening below, where I can’t see and maybe I’m pushing my luck and the little spots only look little but they’re really not little they are gigantic and, again, root canals? Crowns? On my front teeth? The possibility of my body going like “lol i dont want it” and the procedure just failing on me? I’m gonna cry just thinking about it. On top of it, my lower second molar (that’s the one with a filling and also decay on the side - so not under the filling) is the one I’m currently focused on because I feel like it might start hurting anytime now. Especially since I don’t know what’s happening under the filling but I can see the lil spot of decay on the side and I’m just waiting for the whole situation to blow

Someone asked me what I, realistically, expect from my appointment. And I, realistically speaking, really do expect decay under all my five fillings which would result in me having five crowns. Or maybe he’ll want to just do another filling and drill too deep and hit my pulp and be like “whops, guess it’ll need to be a root canal after all,”. And I know crowns can fail, root canals can fail, and I feel like at this point, I’d deserve it. It was my stupid decision to not go to the dentist sooner, it was my decision to only brush once a day, all of this is on me. Guys, I’m really terrified.

Anyways, I don’t want to cry (I’m still a little happy on the inside, I swear. I just get moments like these where I want to just... not be human) so I’m gonna stop rambling. I’m sorry if I’m being annoying and I’m sorry if any of you reading have bigger problems and need to deal with me losing my sh*t over this, and especially sorry for being like this, for panicking and overthinking and always finding a new issue. I know I can be a lot and I can tire a person out and I don’t want any of you feeling bad. I’m sorry.
 
Maliasheart,

You are in the exact right spot to vent and rant all you want about dental!! and so many of us understand different aspects of things you say.. so share everything you want.. :) We all love to talk about this and encourage each other.. and to let it out and process all this is huge and good... :grouphug:
You are really stepping up and getting things done and are brave as heck..
 
Hello,

I have four days left to go and in a moment of weakness I took a mirror and a flashlight and found four new cavities. I’ve been an absolute mess ever since.

They’re not huge they’re like a little dot, small enough that I easily missed it the other billion times I checked my teeth. The fact that they look small is not calming me down though, because i have a “small” cavity at the tooth next to my front tooth and it never grew (except now I noticed that it has but like... not a lot) or hurt or been sensitive to anything but every night when I want to sleep, it hurts. Or I’m thinking it hurts. I definitly feel something but it might also just be my gum protesting because I keep pushing my tongue against that area very often and I also could have done some damage with my aggressive flossing. The tooth doesn’t bother me at all during the day.

Anyway, I feel discouraged, I feel overwhelmed with the amount of work I will need to have done and I’m scared because some of the cavities are on the teeth that are visible and I’m scared that I left the two small cavities that, I mentioned never grew, too long and they’re actually pretty big and I never saw it because it didn’t change on the outside and I’m gonna have to have a root canal and I’m just sad.

I tried to look up my new dentist on the internet but there’s not a whole lot written about him. There’s a girl who said he yelled at her the first time she was there for some reason and the second time she was there, he was very nice. Another dude said he’s a good dentist. I don’t know what to make of it, honestly.

Anyway, 4 days to to.
 
Maliasheart,

:grouphug: The days leading up to the appt I know for me are hard, and the day before to the moment you walk in the door.. Your fear will give you plenty of reasons to not go through. I believe you have the strength to do this and have been really processing all this well. You have total control and if anyone would not treat you right you have the ability to not be treated by them. I would take every baby step a victory.. I hope this dentist treats you very well. I do know the more we communicate we either see their kindness and good care or if we see another side it gives us the information we need inside ourselves to know its time to check another option.

I know its also hard not to worry about every thing up to this time and very easy to find even new senstations or pains or things in our mouth.. I know I do...
 
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