avedic
Junior member
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2011
- Messages
- 11
- Location
- tennessee
Hi everyone. I'm new. My name is Sean and I found this forum the way I imagine many did...via Google. I'll try to be brief. I just have some things I'd like to say and a few questions. I barely know where to begin. First of all, I'm a guy and 28 years old. I'll try to be as brief as I can.
I don't know when my dental phobia started. I never had a bad experience at the dentist. While in highschool, my parents underwent financial hardship and going to the dentist became a thing of the past. I'm sure that set me up for failure later in life. But, otherwise, I never had any reason not to go to the dentist.
The last time I went to the dentist was when I was probaby 17 or 18. A decade ago...
During the first few years in college, I had very poor dental heigeine. I would forget to brush often. I never flossed. I drank copious soft drinks and sugary candies. If I could go back in time, I'd smack myself on the head. :/
This lifestyle continued out of college for several years. I never went to the dentist and I barely cared for my teeth and gums. Over time, I began noticing changes. My gums were receding. The front bottom ones especially. I also started noticing cavities here and there. Then, one night while eating out with my girlfriend, I complained that the food was crunchy. Turned out it was my own tooth, the furthest back molar, crumbling away. Over the next few weeks, the crown basically crumbled away, leaving a decaying root in it's wake. It looked awful. The fear increased. But....it didn't hurt. At all. I thought, well, it broke off...no big deal. Whew...
Cut to a few years. It's now 2010. My gums are much more receded. I begin brushing, flossing, and using mouthwash religiously. I begin realizing how stupid I've been for putting off going to a dentist. My front teeth, top and bottom, show signs of recession. A few teeth have it much worse. The worst tooth, a bottom front tooth, has receded the worst...1/4". the gum has shrunk back a quarter of an inch.... Several other teeth have as well. And I still have several cavities. Based on my own observation, I'd guess 8....but, I know there are some Im not seeing...between teeth and whatnot. A lot more to worry about...
Oh...and that molar that crumbled. Well....about a week ago I woke up with a TERRIBLE headache, unline anything I've ever had. It was migraine feeling. At first I thought nothing of it, besides being annoyed. However, 3 days later, it had not let up one bit the entire time. I had barely slept. Ibuprofen and Excedrin Migraine did NOTHING...not even a dent. I tried everything in the world to allieve it to no avail. I also noticed something...a small irritated lump on the roof of my mouth...a half inch away from the crumbled and rotting molar. Great....
So, I begin a full 6 hour hypochondriac google/wikipedia session that confirmed my worst fear: an abscess. I finally got the one thing I dreaded more than anything. I knew this would force me to see a dentist. I have no pain whatsoever in the tooth. However, I figure, 5 years of rotting has probably deadened every part of it and no pain is left to be felt.
But....I kept reading online. The more I read, the more it became strikingly obvious that I had an abscess. If nothing else, my mouth is only getting worse. I knew I had to do something.
But...this is my #1 fear, period. I cannot describe how scared I am right now. Last spring, I actually became suicidal and tried to kill myself. I was admitted to a mental hospital for a required 72 hours. It worried my parents greatly. However...I never was able to tell them the real reason I felt suicidal: my teeth and gums. I'd rather kill myself than go to the dentist and begin the process I've only had nightmares of. But, when I realized the severity of abscess complications, I mustered up the courage I had, and just tonight....I finally told my mom about everything. I'd been hiding this for 10 years...and I finally told the first person I had ever told. I told her about the cavities, the periodontal disease, the abscess. I cried and shook....and still am. It's my worst fear...coming true right before me. I feel like I'm about to pass out every other minute. I'm certain they're going to have to remove all or most of my teeth. The pain and embarrassment are so huge it overwhelms me. I feel almost humbled by the fear...it rules me. It tried to kill me. When I told my mom, she said we'd go to the clinic together tomorrow morning. It's a Saturday, and the dentist office isn't open. The fear of septic shock or brain abscess is driving us to go to the clinic tomorrow...hopefully to be put on antibiotics until I can have a dentist examination. And that's the part I'm really dreading. I've read about dentists that berate people for poor hygiene and those who are cold and sterile in their personality. I cannot handle that. I am 100% certain I will pass out at the dentist. I feel so stupid and embarrassed and sad and scared and worried and angry all at once. This hurts bad. I want to back out. I want to tell my mom...I overreacted, it's ok now. But, I know that won't work. She's now worried about the septic shock...and so am I. There's no turning back. But, I feel overwhelmed. And on top of all this, I lost my job a few months ago when the company I worked for went under...and I have no dental insurance whatsoever. Is there anyone else out there who's had a very similar dental history and it turned out ok? I can't imagine that right now. But, I am so happy I found this forum. I hate feeling this alone and miserable. Just knowing there are others helps the tiniest bit. I'm just so scared. I'm a 28 year old guy who is normally happy and in control of my life. My friends would be shocked to see me like this now. I'm literally crying typing this. I just feel helpless. I'm sorry to rant so long....I just needed to get something out. Thank you if you read this. It means alot.
Also....very last question...I live in Johnson City, TN. If anyone can recommend a caring and good dentist close by, I'd be so grateful. Thank you....
I don't know when my dental phobia started. I never had a bad experience at the dentist. While in highschool, my parents underwent financial hardship and going to the dentist became a thing of the past. I'm sure that set me up for failure later in life. But, otherwise, I never had any reason not to go to the dentist.
The last time I went to the dentist was when I was probaby 17 or 18. A decade ago...
During the first few years in college, I had very poor dental heigeine. I would forget to brush often. I never flossed. I drank copious soft drinks and sugary candies. If I could go back in time, I'd smack myself on the head. :/
This lifestyle continued out of college for several years. I never went to the dentist and I barely cared for my teeth and gums. Over time, I began noticing changes. My gums were receding. The front bottom ones especially. I also started noticing cavities here and there. Then, one night while eating out with my girlfriend, I complained that the food was crunchy. Turned out it was my own tooth, the furthest back molar, crumbling away. Over the next few weeks, the crown basically crumbled away, leaving a decaying root in it's wake. It looked awful. The fear increased. But....it didn't hurt. At all. I thought, well, it broke off...no big deal. Whew...
Cut to a few years. It's now 2010. My gums are much more receded. I begin brushing, flossing, and using mouthwash religiously. I begin realizing how stupid I've been for putting off going to a dentist. My front teeth, top and bottom, show signs of recession. A few teeth have it much worse. The worst tooth, a bottom front tooth, has receded the worst...1/4". the gum has shrunk back a quarter of an inch.... Several other teeth have as well. And I still have several cavities. Based on my own observation, I'd guess 8....but, I know there are some Im not seeing...between teeth and whatnot. A lot more to worry about...
Oh...and that molar that crumbled. Well....about a week ago I woke up with a TERRIBLE headache, unline anything I've ever had. It was migraine feeling. At first I thought nothing of it, besides being annoyed. However, 3 days later, it had not let up one bit the entire time. I had barely slept. Ibuprofen and Excedrin Migraine did NOTHING...not even a dent. I tried everything in the world to allieve it to no avail. I also noticed something...a small irritated lump on the roof of my mouth...a half inch away from the crumbled and rotting molar. Great....
So, I begin a full 6 hour hypochondriac google/wikipedia session that confirmed my worst fear: an abscess. I finally got the one thing I dreaded more than anything. I knew this would force me to see a dentist. I have no pain whatsoever in the tooth. However, I figure, 5 years of rotting has probably deadened every part of it and no pain is left to be felt.
But....I kept reading online. The more I read, the more it became strikingly obvious that I had an abscess. If nothing else, my mouth is only getting worse. I knew I had to do something.
But...this is my #1 fear, period. I cannot describe how scared I am right now. Last spring, I actually became suicidal and tried to kill myself. I was admitted to a mental hospital for a required 72 hours. It worried my parents greatly. However...I never was able to tell them the real reason I felt suicidal: my teeth and gums. I'd rather kill myself than go to the dentist and begin the process I've only had nightmares of. But, when I realized the severity of abscess complications, I mustered up the courage I had, and just tonight....I finally told my mom about everything. I'd been hiding this for 10 years...and I finally told the first person I had ever told. I told her about the cavities, the periodontal disease, the abscess. I cried and shook....and still am. It's my worst fear...coming true right before me. I feel like I'm about to pass out every other minute. I'm certain they're going to have to remove all or most of my teeth. The pain and embarrassment are so huge it overwhelms me. I feel almost humbled by the fear...it rules me. It tried to kill me. When I told my mom, she said we'd go to the clinic together tomorrow morning. It's a Saturday, and the dentist office isn't open. The fear of septic shock or brain abscess is driving us to go to the clinic tomorrow...hopefully to be put on antibiotics until I can have a dentist examination. And that's the part I'm really dreading. I've read about dentists that berate people for poor hygiene and those who are cold and sterile in their personality. I cannot handle that. I am 100% certain I will pass out at the dentist. I feel so stupid and embarrassed and sad and scared and worried and angry all at once. This hurts bad. I want to back out. I want to tell my mom...I overreacted, it's ok now. But, I know that won't work. She's now worried about the septic shock...and so am I. There's no turning back. But, I feel overwhelmed. And on top of all this, I lost my job a few months ago when the company I worked for went under...and I have no dental insurance whatsoever. Is there anyone else out there who's had a very similar dental history and it turned out ok? I can't imagine that right now. But, I am so happy I found this forum. I hate feeling this alone and miserable. Just knowing there are others helps the tiniest bit. I'm just so scared. I'm a 28 year old guy who is normally happy and in control of my life. My friends would be shocked to see me like this now. I'm literally crying typing this. I just feel helpless. I'm sorry to rant so long....I just needed to get something out. Thank you if you read this. It means alot.
Also....very last question...I live in Johnson City, TN. If anyone can recommend a caring and good dentist close by, I'd be so grateful. Thank you....