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Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

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randomuser375

Former Member
Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Hi everyone,

Here's my background. I'm a 32 year old male and I haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years or so. Mostly due to the fact that I never had dental insurance and I had a very very bad experience as a kid.

So as a child when I went to the dentist, I'm not even sure exactly what procedures were done, but they hurt. I don't know if the dentist didn't put enough Novocaine, but I felt the pain associated with the dental drill. I was in excruciating pain, but not once did my dentist ask if I needed anything. Also, whenever I did go for the visits, I would always be put down and ridiculed by the assistant and the dentist during the procedures. I was mortified and vowed that I would never go back.

I'm going to be honest, I wasn't the very best at keeping good oral hygiene. There was a few periods of my life during high school and college where I didn't keep up my brushing as well as I should. Also, I NEVER flossed, even until this day. But more during my adult years post college, I've been brushing twice a day and using mouthwash. I'm pretty sure it's already too late. I also avoid sweets as much as I can, and when I drink any type of soda or juices, I either use a straw, or if I don't have a straw, I will gulp the beverage directly down my throat to try and avoid any direct contact with my teeth. I want to believe that this practice has benefited my teeth somewhat.

I am now in the workforce and am lucky enough to have some dental insurance. I've had it for at least several years, but could not push myself to go... I am still terrified. I know I have cavities, I have some sensitive teeth, and I have dull aches here and there, especially in the molar areas towards the right side of my jaws, but no excruciating pain. Once in a while, I can taste either some blood/foul odor in my mouth where my molars are after eating. But strangely enough, there's rarely any blood when I brush my teeth. From what I can tell at this point, I don't observe any visible holes in my teeth, cracks, or any sign of significant decay(comparing to pictures I've seen on google). Also, I think my gums have recessed a little, but they don't hurt and aren't swollen. My greatest fear at this point, is going to the dentist, and the dentist telling me that I need to get 15 teeth extracted and get dentures. I really don't know what to expect at this point. I'm a hypochondriac and I always fear the worst. I keep telling myself that even though it doesn't look too bad from the outside, my teeth and gums have probably rotted away and infected under the tooth and that I have advanced stages of periodontal disease... I'm seriously terrified and afraid of what I have to face.

Another thing that worries me is the cost. I know I have insurance, but my annual maximum is only $2000, and my paranoia is telling me that the amount won't even cover half of the things I need to get done. I'm not filthy rich, nor am I dirt poor. I have a decent job, but the out of pocket expenses frighten me as well. After doing research, dental procedures get expensive real quick. :cry:

I have never told anyone about what I'm going through as of late. So my girlfriend, bless her heart, had no idea about what I was going through and my situation. Just about a week ago, I mustered up the courage to tell her, and she was super supportive. Because of her, I did some research on some dentistry's near my area and submitted an online appointment form to make an appointment. I'm hoping to get an appointment by next Tuesday. I'm literally scared to death everyone. What should I expect?!?! From your experiences and from what I told you about the condition of my teeth, am I going to have to get teeth extracted and dentures/implants?! What should I expect? I am shaking just typing this. :shame:
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

I know it's hard but try to keep your imagination under control :XXLhug: it's hard for anyone who is anxious because we tend to play these scenarios in our head and let them get really out of control.

maybe you don't even need all this extensive work that you're imagining. what if you just need a cleaning??
they can't tell anything for sure until you have an xray. technology has changed a lot and they're a lot more cmofortable, I used to have a horrible time because my mouth is so tiny
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Hi zeroifex, welcome!

Zombiegroupie is right - it could well be that you don't need anywhere near as much work done as you think, there are a few people on here who didn't go to the dentist for years & years, then when they finally went fearing the worst they found it wasn't so bad after all. Try not to go too far into imagining all the treatments you might need until you know the reality. (I know, that's far easier said than done!)

The good news is that dentistry has changed a lot since you last went. Now they are far gentler, have better treatments that are more effective and easier to cope with, and are far better at taking patients' needs on board.

Most likely your first appointment won't involve any treatment at all - they will just want to talk to you, take a medical and dental history, and (if you feel able) take a look at your teeth and give you an idea of what work is needed. They might take x-rays, if you are ok with that. *Nothing* will be done without your consent. They should be able to give you a detailed treatment plan showing what work is needed and what the costs will be, and you can take as long as you need to think it over and decide if you want to go ahead.

You can find recommendations on here for dentists who are good with nervous patients, take a look and see if there are any in your area - I'd also recommend ringing round a few practises to sound them out and see if you feel comfortable with them. Some dentists will even offer a first appointment where you can just come in and meet them and talk to them without going near your teeth at all if that's something you would find helpful.


Fear of the unknown is horrible, I know how you feel! Once you've taken the plunge and had that first appointment, you will have far more idea what to expect and I think you'll find it a lot more manageable. We're all here to support you too!

Hope that helps!
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Hi!

I recently went to my first appointment for 22 years, so you're not alone.

It really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. He looked at my mouth, did some xrays, and worked out what we'd do to start sorting out my problems. Which, from the sound of it, are worse than yours but are treatable.

The thing is your mouth may not be as bad as you think it is, and even if it is your dentist will work out a strategy to get as much value out of the $2k as you can ; by starting now you can prevent it costing more in the future.

Ultimately it may help to remember that as an adult you can walk out and never go back if you want to. You're not giving up control to your dentist. It's a team effort to improve your health. Your dentist wants to make you as comfortable as possible and will understand your fears if you explain them. If that doesn't happen walk out and find a better dentist.
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Thank you for everyone's kind and supportive answers. Its easing my mind a little. I cant believe that I even made an appointment! I hope I dont chicken out. Again, my fear is that theyre going to extract a lot of teeth, and the last thing I want is to be wearing dentures at 32... and I dont think I can afford implants.

Tome, if you dont mind me asking, what was your prognosis? What kind of work do you need done?
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Zerofex,

From what you said my teeth are in a much worse state than yours. Both my upper wisdom teeth are rotten - on has completely crumbled to the gumline, the other is only half there. They'll have to come out. One front tooth has half of the surface missing. It will be repaired. Five other front teeth have very large visible cavities where you can put a toothpick into them half a centimetre which I thought would be extracted. They won't be - they'll be repaired. Other teeth have cracks and visible cavities. Repaired, not extracted.

All in all, it's pretty amazing what dentists can do these days...
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Alright everyone, I just received a call from the dentist office and im confirmed for an appointment next Tuesday Jul 8th at 10am. I cant believe im going through with this... :(
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Good luck today. Hope it goes well for you.
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

I'm a bit late to this thread, but I'm here to offer my perspective! I'm actually also a 32 year old male, and until a couple of months ago I hadn't been to the dentist in 17 years.

I was in the same boat as you as far as the state of my teeth. I knew I had problems, but I had no idea how bad things actually were and the fear of the unknown was one of the biggest factors in my reluctance to seek dental help. My oral hygiene wasn't great growing up but had gotten better the older I got. I never floss.

I finally had to make an appointment out of sheer necessity, as a sizable piece of a molar broke off while I was eating one day. Up to that point my teeth were at least structurally intact, so once it broke I knew I had to finally deal with this huge looming issue I had put off successfully for 17 years.

I went in for the assessment and was very nervous. But there was nothing to be nervous about. They took Xrays first, then I went to a dental chair for the exam. There was no procedure or anything invasive on the first visit. It was literally just Xrays, then the doc looking in my mouth while making notes of all the problems I had. I was on pins and needles to find out exactly what the damage would be. I had put it off for so long, but now that I was about to find out I really wanted to know what this would cost me.

It wasn't cheap, and my insurance didn't cover as much as I had hoped. My treatment ended up costing me around $2000 out of pocket, 9 fillings in total. Insurance paid for around $500. My problem was that my insurance only covered amalgam (silver) fillings, and most of my fillings were up front and required composite (white) material. Which costs more, and wasn't covered. Your experience will vary.

I had 3 fillings per appointment, so 3 appointments total.

Don't be scared about being scolded or getting hurt. I know it depends on the dentist, but most are very good about phobic patients and those who haven't been in a while. I kind of wonder if dental visits have dropped over the years so dentists had to strategize to get people to come back. Just a layman's hypothesis. In any case, my dentist was totally cool with what he had to work with, and I had visible decay in several places in my mouth. No lecture, no scolding. They just fixed what needed fixing!

They were also very adamant about making sure I felt no pain during the procedures. I was to raise my hand at the slightest unpleasant sensation, which I had to do at the beginning of my 2nd filling appointment. As soon as I raised my hand he stopped, gave me another shot of lidocaine, and gave it a minute to kick in.

The shots are honestly the most unpleasant part, and "unpleasant" is as harsh a word as I can use. It doesn't hurt. They apply numbing gel to your gums before giving you the shot/s to minimize any sensation. The worst you're gonna feel at that stage is a tiny pinch. It's over in the blink of an eye and barely feels like anything.

The drilling was stressful, but only because I was unsure of what to expect. It turns out my stress was unwarranted. By the 2nd appointment I was more calm, and by the 3rd I was a dental visit pro. I felt nothing, they were extremely quick to fill. Like I said, I had 3 fillings at a time and even then I was in and out of the office in a little over an hour from waiting room to getting back in my car to leave.

Take care of it while the problems are small. I can almost guarantee things aren't nearly as bad as you're thinking. I had it in my head that I was going to need extractions, root canals, crowns, etc. Turns out I just needed a shitload of fillings. Hope this helps!

Edit: I submitted my response before I read all the way through the thread, good luck with your dentist appointment today!
 
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Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

lawlcano... thank you for your support and story, it's definitely helped me calm my nerves a little. I hope it isn't as bad as I think it's going to be. My appointment is in about an hour or so and I'm a nervous wreck. Wish me luck....
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Hello and welcome.

to be honest to do what you are doing takes a lot of courage so mucho respect :respect::respect::respect:

hopefully the other folks above have helped you with there posts, it's always good to know you are not on your own.

Please let us know how you got on at your first visit, I'm sure it will have gone fine, we usually go expecting the worst but these things are often much easier than our imagination tells us:) The world of dentistry has moved on in leaps and bounds in the last 10+ years and many dentists now understand and want to help with our fears in this respect, they are also a lot more gentle and caring than their old school predecessors.

I am trying out a new dentist next week, after firing my current one (reasons to be explained later). I am almost looking forward to it ;)

Hope that you got on okay and look forward to hearing about how you got on.
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Hey everyone!

Just as an update to my first visit, it wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be, although my teeth weren't in the best shape either. I guess one of the first things I need to get done, is to fix/replace a crown I got when I was a kid, because my dentist then, didn't do it right, and apparently there's a slight abscess/infection in the root. So I'm going to need several root canals/crowns and a bunch of fillings. NO EXTRACTIONS, besides the option of pulling out a couple wisdom teeth. My worst fear has now been absolved, no teeth extractions due to decay, dentures, or implants. I go back this coming Friday for my 1st actual procedural visit(still a little nervous). As I presumed, my dental insurance will not cover half of the things I need done. They said that I have one of the better dental insurance plans, but that we'd still have to split the procedures into parts, doing the most urgent things now, and then if I wanted to wait till next year when the benefits replenish, get the fillings and such done then.

One thing I forgot to ask during the check-up, because so many things were going through my head was about the condition of my gums. The dentist didn't mention anything about me having gingivitis, periodontal disease or anything, so that's a good thing right? If I had any of those symptoms, would he have said something if I didn't ask or mention it?

Anyways, I really want to thank the people on this board. Your posts and comments really helped me calm my nerves and definitely assisted me in taking that first step into going into the dentist office. Wish me luck on Friday.
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Excellent, well done you! :jump::jump::jump::jump:

Im glad the appointment went well for you; that first appointment is the worst as it's the not knowing that causes the most worry and now you have a plan to put everything right step by step at a pace that suits you.

Like yourself, I am saving up and am hoping to get an implant or bridge done at the end of this year, it's a matter of prioritising. It sounds like you have a good dentist too from your post.

On the gum/perio issue they will normally arrange to get your teeth cleaned by a hygienist who will be able to advise you on care. If you feel up to it it's probably worth asking your dentist on Friday about that (it's easy to forget to ask thing when we are anxious so I write stuff like that on a crib sheet before I go or I end up forgetting :redface:)

All the very best for Friday :clover::clover::clover: you will be more than fine:) And please feel free to share how you get on.
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Yeah, ask the dentist, but... (and remember I'm not a dentist)

I'm pretty sure if you had significant gum disease your dentist would have already scheduled a cleaning.

Congratulations on getting your treatment plan sorted out.
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Just out of curiosity, my out of pocket cost for the 2 root canals(1 front incisor? tooth(crown that needs fixing) and an upper molar) and porcelain crowns for both teeth is going to cost me about $700 after insurance. In your opinion, is that a decent deal? I live in California. I know I should have shopped around and got second, third opinions, but i was so focused on getting my teeth fixed, that I had a mindset of "get it done whatever it costs."

Does this price sound decent?
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

I'm not even in america, so I don't know for sure but given some of the posts on the forum where people have been spending a lot more than that for less work it sounds pretty good to me...

Er, you could always shop around to put your mind at rest... but, if you've got a dentist that you're happy with given your history I'd tend to suggest staying with them.
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Just out of curiosity, my out of pocket cost for the 2 root canals(1 front incisor? tooth(crown that needs fixing) and an upper molar) and porcelain crowns for both teeth is going to cost me about $700 after insurance. In your opinion, is that a decent deal? I live in California. I know I should have shopped around and got second, third opinions, but i was so focused on getting my teeth fixed, that I had a mindset of "get it done whatever it costs."

Does this price sound decent?

First off, HUGE congratulations for getting yourself in to the appointment and for having the courage to face your fears. That's a big huge step and you should be super proud of yourself. I know it's a little hard to brag to friends and colleagues ("Hey, I just went to the dentist for the first time in my adult life!") but here on the forum we know what a huge hurdle it is and how much courage it takes to go back. So do something nice for yourself to celebrate, or if you have someone close that you can trust to tell about it, it will feel really great.

:jump::jump::jump::jump::jump::jump:

My experience has been that crowns and root canals tend to cost around $900-1100 each, depending on the type of tooth and crown (this is in Ohio). Insurance seems to cover 90% of root canal treatment, and 60% of crowns, which they consider cosmetic. Also the insurance rate for the procedures is usually lower by a a couple hundred bucks.

So $700 for the whole lot sounds like a really good deal. You can have the receptionist print you out the price breakdown for each procedure if you don't already have it. They don't always know the insurance adjustment ahead of time, but prices are pretty straightforward in US dentistry.

Because the price estimate is pretty reasonable, and you've started to build up some trust with this dentist, I'd encourage you to stick with this dentist. You can get other opinions, but in my experience it's far more important that you trust your dentist. Looking around is just going to add stress and uncertainty, and you're on a good path now.

Also as you mentioned, your dentist can help you prioritize things and do the work over other years to help spread the cost out and get more insurance help.

Good luck in your coming appointments. It will be stressful because you don't know what's coming, but it should be completely painless, and your dentist will talk you through it and help keep you calm. I was amazed at how easy root canals and other procedures were, once the initial panic subsided.
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Hey everyone!

Just as an update, I just got back from my first treatment, a root canal, and my dentist is the best. It was completely pain free, he told me exactly what he was doing, and each step he was taking. He consistently asked me if I was ok throughout the whole procedure. The procedure only took maybe 45-50 minutes. I'm due back next Saturday for continued treatment.

For everyone who's been avoiding the dentist because of their fears, find a good dentist, and just go! I was amazed how I felt NO PAIN what so ever... for now! Haha who knows how the other procedures are going to feel like, but so far so good. :jump:

Again, I want to thank everyone here! If it weren't for your own personal experiences, stories, and encouragement, I would have never made it this far. You guys are the best.
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Hey everyone!

Just as an update, I just got back from my first treatment, a root canal, and my dentist is the best. It was completely pain free, he told me exactly what he was doing, and each step he was taking. He consistently asked me if I was ok throughout the whole procedure. The procedure only took maybe 45-50 minutes. I'm due back next Saturday for continued treatment.

For everyone who's been avoiding the dentist because of their fears, find a good dentist, and just go! I was amazed how I felt NO PAIN what so ever... for now! Haha who knows how the other procedures are going to feel like, but so far so good. :jump:

Again, I want to thank everyone here! If it weren't for your own personal experiences, stories, and encouragement, I would have never made it this far. You guys are the best.




This this journey is amazing!???? hopefully its goes as good for me too 72 hours to go ahhh! First appointment in over 8 years haven't a seen a dentist since 2 nd grade I'm 21 now Idk I don't wanna go but I have to???
 
Re: Haven't been to the dentist in over 15 years and I'm scared to death, what should I expect?

Hey Pollo12!

The fear of the unknown is the worst thing! You'll see, once you get to the dentist office and the dentist goes over what needs to be worked on, you'll feel so much better because you thought SO much worse than it really is. I've just finished up my second round of root canals and crowns this year and dried up all my benefits. I have a one more root canal and crown left, and some cavity fillings for next year, and my teeth should be in tip top shape.

Don't get me wrong, going to the dentist still makes me nervous, but now I don't have that extreme fear anymore.

You'll be fine! That first step to actually go to the dentist office is the hardest. Once you're there, everything is easy... if anything, take a family member/friend/significant other with you on that first visit. That's what I did and it helped me. Good luck!;)
 
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