Haven't seen dentist in 12 years and now freaking out.

[Chelley]

I haven't seen a dentist in 12 years. I have never had perfect teeth but have never worried me until today when I noticed on my back molars a kind of black hole looking thing with dried blood. I don't know what it is and I am worried the denist is going to judge me. I first started thinking my teeth were going bad after I had my second child last year and was on a lot of medications. I have no pain except for after brushing. Some help would be greatly appreciated please

 

[jblack000]

you should not worry, if the dentist judges you and it is very unlikely that he will. you can simply look for another one, believe me my teeth are super bad and i always dread going to the dentist but once i was in there and he looked at my mouth he never once treated me with disrespect.
i once asked if my teeth (or what is left of most of them) were the worst they had seen and i was told no we have seen a lot worse.

so do not worry, go and see the dentist and if you still feel uncomfortable explain your worries to the dentist before they examine you and if you are unhappy you can always refuse to proceed.

 

[Steve In Cleveland]

I can assure you, Chelley, that any dentist has seen problems like this and much worse. Dentists are used to seeing teeth in all kinds of conditions, from pretty perfect teeth to rotten, yellow, broken bits. Every dentist has seen the full gamut. So a single tooth with a cavity, even a big cavity-- even a big cavity with a little blood on it-- won't cause so much as a raised eyebrow. Look for a dentist (here on this site or online) who seems to cater to nervous patients, or who has good reviews from other patients, and you'll be fine.

My cautionary tale:

Many many years ago, I broke a tooth, my upper right premolar. Kind of one "lobe" of the tooth broke off, leaving a pointy bit and probably 3/4 of the tooth remaining. I was too scared to do anything about it, and surprisingly, the tooth never hurt, so I gradually started chewing on that side a bit. Long story short, over the years, the tooth broke more and more, to the point where eventually there was no more of it even visible above the gumline. This tooth was the cause of much shame to me, and kept me from seeing the dentist for lots of other little things that went wrong. I imagined the dentist shaming me... who lets their tooth just keep breaking away until it's gone? I figured they'd accuse me of being a meth addict. I imagined they'd say, "I've never seen anything like this? How are we going to get it out now, it's way up in your head?" I was so afraid of how they'd react to that one freaky tooth, I stayed away for over a decade.

When I finally went back to see my dentist earlier this year, I'd been away for 16+ years, and by then I had several teeth that were broken off partially, and a couple that were nearly as far gone as the first one. There were gaps and cracks and jagged bits and chunks of metal, and I felt disgusting. I chose a dentist in a nice, upscale neighborhood, hoping they'd be nice, but assuming there's no way a rich-people dentist has ever seen a meth-mouth like mine. But she didn't even flinch! She just kind of listed off the treatments for each tooth, even the freaky tooth that started it all. Most of the teeth, even the badly broken ones, she was able to build up and save. The bad one had to be extracted, but that took about five minutes.

So, take my word for it. No one's going to freak out about your tooth, however bad it seems to you. And most likely, they'll be able to fix it up in a visit or two, no big deal, and you can put the whole thing behind you.