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Help please! super scared of my visit next week...and my dentist is being a jerk about it..

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prettypinkice

Junior member
Joined
Feb 19, 2010
Messages
3
Location
NY
well to start off, Im 20 now, and have always been super scared of the dentist. I dont know how it started but I didnt see the dentist from the time i was 7ish untill I was in 10th grade. I seriously lost it if my mom dragged me there. Anyways, in highschool I started going to the dentist my dad and sister have been going to for years. He was super nice, and told me ever thing he was doing before he did it. He also always told me if there was a problem he would stop and talk to me. I got thru several fillings and was ok with cleanings.

Well a year ago I started having bad jaw pain/ headaches/ ear ringing. My dentist said it was TMJ and he specializes in treating TMJ. So i had to have molds taken (I was sooo freaked out but since have had it done several times and im, alright, with it, i guess). Then about 6 months ago he said to start my braces i need an expander first. He cemented it in my mouth and It was HORRIBLE. It took forever, hurt, gave me the creeps because the metal was screetching on my teeth and gagged me really bad when he was fitting it. But i thought, ok its all over now. Then i got my braces on, which is connected to the expander on my back teeth. My dentist told me from the start that first i would get the expander, then braces, and when the expander was done he would cut it out (its held in with wires) and i would be all good.

Im not kidding, since the day he put my braces on he has been a huge huge jerk. He will just start messing with my braces or cementing things and grinding things without telling me. He says he is just checking things out, then, ..grinding..water..cement and the light thing.... Which im always freaking out a little bit inside but think it wont be as bad as having the expander put in or getting the braces on. Well at my last appointment a few weeks ago, he was "just looking to see how things are going", when he starts grinding my expander and cements something to something. While he is doing that he says to the hygenist to make me a very long appointment next time. He is going to take my braces off, take my expander out, take molds, and then put everything back in! AND then two weeks after that appointment i need to come back and have my braces taken off and expander out again, put in a new, different kind of expander, and put my braces back on AGAIN. When he got the grinder out of my mouth I asked why he was going to do that. He says, "because Im gonna". I say, " I thought you said when my teeth are done expanding your just going to cut the expander out". And to that he says, "Well, I could explain it all to you, but im not going to, Its just what i have to do". .....and then he walks away. I lost it, i had to go to the bath room and i was crying and shaking, Its like the worst thing i could think of. I cant believe he would say that, and especially because he knows I am so so anxious and scared of the dentist. On top of me being scared to death of all this going on anyways, the way im seeing it is, he was all nice and cared about me being so anxious untill he put my braces on and we payed. Now im stuck there so he doesnt have to be super nice and careing anymore. Not kidding the day he put my braces on he started being an ass.

I know Im not going to die from going, and a few weeks after ill probably forgett about the whole thing, but im SO scared.... I'm scared of going thu the expander thing again, then again two weeks after. And Im super scared of how much taking the braces off both times is gonna hurt. Im scared he's not going to care how scared i am and just shove tons of stuff in my mouth and not tell me whats going on. Im scared ill get half way thu and not be able to finish with it... I'm scared im going to have a compleate panic attack and FREAKKKK, Im super mad how he treated me about the whole thing, and he did not care how upset it made me. ...I did ask my dad, but we already payed and cant get any $ back, so i am seriously stuck with this guy.
 
robotguy

robotguy

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 2, 2010
Messages
398
Location
Nr Cambridge UK
This dentist sounds like there is something else going on in his life and he is taking it out on his patients, thats not good. You said you started out as being super scared of dentists well if he keeps this up he is going to make you even worse.

This is your mouth he is working on, you have a right to know what he is doing in there.

Personally I would be making enquires to other dentists about moving my treatment to someone a bit more sympathetic. It costs nothing to ring up another surgery to see it they would be willing to take you on. If they won't do it because of the brace/expander treatment underway, then at least you know. That isn't the end of the world though.

I would be telling my current dentist that unless he starts explaining what is happening, you want the treatment to stop and he is only to remove the metalwork from your mouth and nothing else. Then you are free to move dentists.

Your dad says that you won't get any money back, but right now that sounds like the least of your problems. As I see it this guy is putting some serious fears into you, you have to get him to change or move.
 
robotguy

robotguy

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 2, 2010
Messages
398
Location
Nr Cambridge UK
I'd also ask your dad to come into the room with you the next time you visit, the dentist might change his ways when you have awitness with you.

Good luck.
 
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scaredycat54

Member
Joined
Dec 18, 2009
Messages
56
I'm sorry you've got a nasty dentist, I know the feeling! Even if you do stay with him to the end of this treatment, as you've already paid, you're free to find a nicer one in the future. Please don't do what I've done, which is stay with the same horrible man for thirty years just out of nervousness and fear of change! Find someone kind next time you have treatment or check ups.:)
 
Razzle3

Razzle3

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Messages
520
What a truly awful sounding dentist. I am so sorry you are having to deal with such a person. ITA with everything that's already been said. If you chose to go back, it would be a great idea to bring your Dad or someone else with you. Perhaps finish up whatever he "started" and then rid yourself of him for good. I know that can be easier said than done but you should not have to be subject to that type of abusive treatment at all.

You are literally the paying party and certainly if this or any doctor does not treat you with respect, compassion, and care, while it may feel otherwise right now, there really are dentists out there who will. There are even some dentists who offer free intial first consults. Perhaps you could find a few and so some "shopping around?"

All the best to you and take care.

Mona
 
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prettypinkice

Junior member
Joined
Feb 19, 2010
Messages
3
Location
NY
Thanks everyone:)

...my dad ended up talking on the phone with my dentist for about an hour. My dad told me that when i went to my appointment (which was this morning) he would talk to me about what my options were. My dad talking to him changed his attitude fast! My dentist was really unhappy i didnt want to have everything taken out, do molds, put it back in, come back, and put a new expander in. I found out (finaly) that all it would do is speed up my treatment a few months, and if i did not do it (and kept the expander i have in now) nothing bad will happen. We did end up going for a plan in the middle..he put brackets on my back lower teeth and attatched bands from top to bottom, so it will move things a long a little faster. So we both ended up happy with what was going on. After the braces ill be happy to only see these people once a year tho! Going to any dentist just makes me wig out:o
 
k1ndz0n3

k1ndz0n3

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 25, 2010
Messages
104
Location
NW Oregon,USA
Thanks everyone:)

...my dad ended up talking on the phone with my dentist for about an hour. My dad told me that when i went to my appointment (which was this morning) he would talk to me about what my options were. My dad talking to him changed his attitude fast! My dentist was really unhappy i didnt want to have everything taken out, do molds, put it back in, come back, and put a new expander in. I found out (finaly) that all it would do is speed up my treatment a few months, and if i did not do it (and kept the expander i have in now) nothing bad will happen. We did end up going for a plan in the middle..he put brackets on my back lower teeth and attatched bands from top to bottom, so it will move things a long a little faster. So we both ended up happy with what was going on. After the braces ill be happy to only see these people once a year tho! Going to any dentist just makes me wig out:o
If this guy does not do as he said he will, and take it easier on you, he could really give you some real problems later in life. I had a similar experience when I had orthodontic work done, and was severely traumatized with PTSD from it. This guy, I would swear enjoyed giving pain to young people. I ended up biting him on more than one visit, because he wouldn't stop what he was doing in my mouth, that was hurting me. I would always say I was sorry, but I really wasn't.
If you are not pleased with how you are treated, then find a new person to give you the treatment in a more gentle way. Things have changed quite a bit in dentistry since I was in treatment, and I would think that you should be able to tell them that what they are doing, is causing you pain.
I empathize with your situation 100% ! Feel free to contact me, or read other threads I have contributed to, if you would like to to know more about my situation. I will be starting a journal here, once I have a game plan, and team picked to repair my teeth. Please do not let this orthodontist mess up your dental health, or mental health, and find someone new, if he continues treating you like in your first post. I agree with the advice to have a parent, or guardian watch each visit, until you have established a trusting relationship with your dentist.
Best of Luck !
<KZ>
 
robotguy

robotguy

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 2, 2010
Messages
398
Location
Nr Cambridge UK
What a result, your Dad talking to him seems to have done something to make him change his ways a bit.

Why couldn't he have explained everything to you in the first place though, if he had said it would speed things along faster, you could have understood the need for it all. To have been able to agree acompromise with him on your treatment must make you feel good, you have had some control in the treatment of your mouth, thats how it should be.

Well done and keep us posted on your progress,
 
U

Ultracain

Member
Joined
Feb 23, 2010
Messages
50
Location
Arizona
Going to be very blunt here. Your dentist is unprofessional and should not be practicing dentistry if he is going to act like that. It should not have taken a call from anyone. What his did was flat out bad conduct and boarderline reportable to a state board.
 
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