Help! Trouble with speech and eating

[Suile]

I’m looking for a dental surgery in Dublin that can help. I’m so phobic that I will need sedation even for an examination. I literally freak out. But I’m 58 now and since hitting menopause my already crooked crowded yellow teeth now feel like they’ve moved, I have bleeding gums kept at bat with mouthwashes that have discoloured me even more, and I’m having issues with speech and food. This is impacting on every aspect of my life most especially my work life. I have to attend meetings and trips and I can’t speak properly and I look awful, I’m so self conscious. I’ve never smiled or laughed open mouthedky in my whole life not even on my wedding day or when my son was born, and that’s the truth. It’s caused me to suffer terrible depressions over the years. I know if I get somewhere to go it will be worse case scenario and that terrifies me too. Also the cost just to get a reasonable looking mouth will be horrendous because of all the sedation I will need on top of huge costs. My parents NEVER took me to a dentist when I was a kid and I developed a huge fear after attending one for the first time aged 38 for an extraction because of pain and infection, the worst experience ever….i sometimes contemplate ending things as I’ve had a good life already despite this issue… but I couldn’t leave my teenage son….he’s also the only one I can talk to about this… I avoid it otherwise and if I see ads for toothbrushes or anything dental related I go into a sweat. I can’t even look at people who have no teeth as I think that is me some day and I can’t look at people with big white smiles as I think that will never be me…. I don’t want a big white smile anyway, just a semblance of normality. I read about an Irish dentist here but he’s based in Navan outside of Dublin and I fear he just wouldn’t be able to handle me… I just don’t know what I’m going to do… things can only get worse…..

 

[letsconnect]

Hi @Suile and welcome,

I'm so sorry you're feeling so terrible right now. And although it is wonderful that you have a teenage son who you can confide in, it sounds as if you could do with a bit more support right now . Could you maybe ask your GP what (free or low-cost) services are available to you in terms of counselling or similar? There is some more info here which might be useful.

Personally, I have no doubt that a dentist with a special interest and qualifications in supporting phobic patients would be able to help you. As you mentioned, there's Niall Neeson in Navan, but closer to home, there's also Gillian Smith at the Fitzwilliam Clinic in Bray:

Thread 'The Fitzwilliam Clinic, Bray, Co. Wicklow'

Jun 18, 2024

Gillian Smith at the Fitzwilliam Clinic in Bray comes highly recommended. In the words of our advisory group member Niall Neeson, "The dentist in Fitzwilliam Clinic who I know is fantastic is Gillian Smith. She’s first class and has a special interest in special care dentistry too and has given lectures on dentistry and autism for example."

Gillian also offers sedation.

Here are the contact details:

The Fitzwilliam Clinic (ask to see Gillian Smith)
Fitzwilliam Terrace, 5 Strand Rd, Bray, Co. Wicklow
Phone: 01-202 2809
Website: https://fitzwilliamclinic.ie/ (currently...

• letsconnect
• Replies: 0
• Forum: Ireland

If and when you feel up to it, maybe you could write them an email saying what you've said here, and see how they respond. That way, you may get a feel for how they approach things, and whether you like their approach.

As you said, paying for treatment can be a huge issue, especially as a single parent. But without having any idea about your options or what they might cost, it's kind of futile speculation at this point? A consultation would at least give you some starting point.

Please stay strong and let us know what you think.

 

[malibubarbie1979]

Hi @Suile i hope you don’t mind me replying to your message. I can genuinely 100% relate to everything you have said in your message! I know exactly how you feel as I was the exact same, I’ve had dental issues for as long as I can remember. Just over 3 months ago, I made an appointment with Dr Niall Neeson in Boyne Dental, Navan and attended that appointment back in July. Don’t get me wrong it took a while for me to get to that point, I’m not saying it was easy. I had messaged him on instagram 88 weeks prior to the appointment. I also like you looked for help here and his name was recommended again. I have been back twice since the initial consultation and am working through the treatment plan. I can wholeheartedly recommend Niall, he is kind, gentle and most importantly nonjudgmental. When I say I feel a weight has been lifted since even the first appointment I’m not exaggerating. It was one of the most difficult things I’ve done in my life. I now feel like I have some control back in my life and there’s a plan and things can only get better. The most important thing is finding the right dentist, they will only want to help you and won’t care about the starting point, they will only be concerned about how to get you back on track x

 

[Suile]

@letsconnect thank you for your response and advice. I appreciate it.

 

[Suile]

@malibubarbie1979 thank you so much. I have heard great things about him but I don’t think he will have seen anyone as bad as me. Not only am I in an awful state but I’m nuts as well! Highly anxious and just recently when my son received his diagnosis of ADHD, I’ve realised I may be on the spectrum too. I’m literally not sure if I can be helped but it’s a first step talking here

 

[Suile]

@malibubarbie1979 I wish there was a way to contact him or Gillian directly without having to email the reception desks!

 

[malibubarbie1979]

@Suile you are so brave coming on here and asking for help, you are definitely not nuts. Trust me when I say the condition of my teeth was/is on the extreme end of the scale, I know you see posts here where people finally go and they only need a few fillings here and there, this wasn’t the case for me and you know what that’s ok, I know that now, my goal now is to get my mouth healthy and move onwards happier in life. I like you have suffered long enough and we deserve better. If you have Instagram you can follow Niall there @thecalmingdentist have a look at his videos and if you feel up to it send him a DM. He replies himself. You can also check out the Boyne Dental website where he works from, it’s a lovely clinic not like a dental surgery at all xx

 

[Suile]

@malibubarbie1979 oh thank you so much for that info. I might try contacting directly through Instagram.

 

[malibubarbie1979]

@Suile you’ve got this! Even following him on Instagram and having a look at his posts is a great starting point, best of luck and if you have any questions please let me know.

 

[Suile]

@malibubarbie1979 I’ve actually looked at some of his videos now and I’ve sent a message…. Let’s see

 

[Suile]

@malibubarbie1979 can’t believe that he has responded already. And actually sounds like a human and not AI. Now all I have to do is make an initial appointment…..

 

[malibubarbie1979]

@Suile I’m so happy to hear this, it takes courage to make that first step. As someone who made the step and is going through the process at the moment with Niall, making the appointment and going to the appointment is genuinely the most difficult part of the journey. He gets the fear, the anxiety, the shame, he’s seen it all, he is only interested in helping you move forward. For context I travel over 3 hours for appointments xx