N
North
Junior member
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2007
- Messages
- 4
Salut!
I want to post on this site to talk to all of you because Amy -- my friend -- needs help and I thought what better people to ask but to value the experience of those who are struggling with the same issue. So if you wouldn't mind responding back to me with honesty and practical-ness, I think I can use this information to really be of help Amy who has a bad case of dental fear.
I hope I don't trigger anything in any of you by asking, but I know my friend needs much more than the blunt "go see a dentist" already because that hasn't obviously worked, and I want to be sensitive to her feelings/emotions. yelling at her and guilting her, as some of my friends have done, has not helped and has only frustrated her further. I just want to help.
I guess I already knew Amy was having trouble with her teeth because sometimes while talking or eating, she'd stop for a second mid-sentence or mid-chew and put a hand up to cheek. When you asked her what was wrong, she'd get all tense and say she had just bit her tongue.
After awhile, I realized no one bites their tongue that much!!!!! I knew something was up. And maybe I'm glad now that she's been forced to admit that her teeth are bothering her.
Some of our male friends can be hockey playing jerks and at first, joking around, have offered her some DIY dentistry options or have kinda teased her about this.. Soon, though, I think we all realized that this was a little more serious since she just won't go.
And like I said, enough people have told Amy point blank to "just f-ing go already". I wasn't so great, either, because I don't like to see her in pain so I think I pushed her a little bit too much and couldn't understand why she said she just couldn't.
Now I realize it's fear that's stopping her. I want to help, but I don't know how. Because like I'm telling her that it isn't going to be that bad and it's not the same kind of dentistry from like the 1800, but I can't seem to make her feel better.
The pain was on and off for her, but now I've been noticing that Amy is in pain a lot of the time. Oh ya, and it's not her right cheek that's swollen a little, it's actually below that, like it's her neck right under her jaw that's tender. Does that have something to do with it?
And she told me once that she had this lump inside her mouth -- which I think is from an infection, btw -- when her pain got really bad and I really wanted her to go see a dentist. I got kinda scared and mad, too, because I don't want her to be in pain. But Amy kept sliding out of going to see a dentist even though I think things are getting more serious. Anyway, she then came back to me and said she had split (was it an abscess?) the lump herself and all this infection came out and now she feels better/in less pain.
But what really scares me is that she admitted to me that she did that to herself, like she took some pin or knife or something and opened the infection herself. I mean, how desperate does someone have to be?!?!!?? I don't understand why she won't just let me take her. I asked her once why she's so afraid and she said she had a really bad dentist before she came here to Canada and that's what fucked her up.
If anyone could please help me understand her right now, that would be excellent. I just want to help, but I don't know what to do or say. But I don't want to hurt her feelings and make her feel bad because she probably feels bad/is in enough pain already.
Are there any real risks to not see a dentist, health wise, other than pain. Because she says she can handle the pain. And I pretty much think that DIY dentistry is a bad thing, can she seriously hurt herself by doing that? How bad is DIY dentistry?
Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Like I said, I wanted to come here to hear your side of the fear equation so I know how to approach her better and I can understand more where she is coming from. Because simply scolding her about not going to the dentist doesn't help. It's like she just can't go.
Any help or insight from anyone would be awesome! Thanks
Kitty!
I want to post on this site to talk to all of you because Amy -- my friend -- needs help and I thought what better people to ask but to value the experience of those who are struggling with the same issue. So if you wouldn't mind responding back to me with honesty and practical-ness, I think I can use this information to really be of help Amy who has a bad case of dental fear.
I hope I don't trigger anything in any of you by asking, but I know my friend needs much more than the blunt "go see a dentist" already because that hasn't obviously worked, and I want to be sensitive to her feelings/emotions. yelling at her and guilting her, as some of my friends have done, has not helped and has only frustrated her further. I just want to help.
I guess I already knew Amy was having trouble with her teeth because sometimes while talking or eating, she'd stop for a second mid-sentence or mid-chew and put a hand up to cheek. When you asked her what was wrong, she'd get all tense and say she had just bit her tongue.
After awhile, I realized no one bites their tongue that much!!!!! I knew something was up. And maybe I'm glad now that she's been forced to admit that her teeth are bothering her.
Some of our male friends can be hockey playing jerks and at first, joking around, have offered her some DIY dentistry options or have kinda teased her about this.. Soon, though, I think we all realized that this was a little more serious since she just won't go.
And like I said, enough people have told Amy point blank to "just f-ing go already". I wasn't so great, either, because I don't like to see her in pain so I think I pushed her a little bit too much and couldn't understand why she said she just couldn't.
Now I realize it's fear that's stopping her. I want to help, but I don't know how. Because like I'm telling her that it isn't going to be that bad and it's not the same kind of dentistry from like the 1800, but I can't seem to make her feel better.
The pain was on and off for her, but now I've been noticing that Amy is in pain a lot of the time. Oh ya, and it's not her right cheek that's swollen a little, it's actually below that, like it's her neck right under her jaw that's tender. Does that have something to do with it?
And she told me once that she had this lump inside her mouth -- which I think is from an infection, btw -- when her pain got really bad and I really wanted her to go see a dentist. I got kinda scared and mad, too, because I don't want her to be in pain. But Amy kept sliding out of going to see a dentist even though I think things are getting more serious. Anyway, she then came back to me and said she had split (was it an abscess?) the lump herself and all this infection came out and now she feels better/in less pain.
But what really scares me is that she admitted to me that she did that to herself, like she took some pin or knife or something and opened the infection herself. I mean, how desperate does someone have to be?!?!!?? I don't understand why she won't just let me take her. I asked her once why she's so afraid and she said she had a really bad dentist before she came here to Canada and that's what fucked her up.
If anyone could please help me understand her right now, that would be excellent. I just want to help, but I don't know what to do or say. But I don't want to hurt her feelings and make her feel bad because she probably feels bad/is in enough pain already.
Are there any real risks to not see a dentist, health wise, other than pain. Because she says she can handle the pain. And I pretty much think that DIY dentistry is a bad thing, can she seriously hurt herself by doing that? How bad is DIY dentistry?
Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Like I said, I wanted to come here to hear your side of the fear equation so I know how to approach her better and I can understand more where she is coming from. Because simply scolding her about not going to the dentist doesn't help. It's like she just can't go.
Any help or insight from anyone would be awesome! Thanks
Kitty!