Here goes nothing

[Latwigg]

I have a long history of severe dental anxiety. It was not helped by being lectured and shamed as a child at the dentist. Then at 17 I had a traumatic botched root canal that lead to the loss of two teeth in the front.

I’ve been ashamed of my teeth for years. I have a pattern. I’ll avoid the dentist until I develop an issue and then I’ll drag myself into an appointment. Usually every 3 or so years. Then I’ll get in my head about it again and not go until there’s an issue. Lather rinse repeat.

So here we are. It’s been about 2.5 years. I know it was post start of pandemic so less than 3. I have a tooth that has broken. Damn it. So now I have an appointment on Thursday and I am full of terror. My mental health hasn’t been great which has impacted my hygiene and ugh. I just want ti not feel so ashamed that I brush my teeth in the dark.

 

[Featherblade2007]

Hello

I just thought I’d reach out and say I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way. I can really relate and in fact your story seems quite similar to mine in some ways.

I wish I had a load of “top tips” but I am a fellow dental anxiety sufferer and a bit of a work in progress.

I don’t know if this is at all helpful but it sounds good to me that you don’t have to wait too long for the appt? At least for me, the waiting is really nerve wracking! I hope everything goes smoothly and you are met with a great, compassionate dentist

 

[Latwigg]

It is better that it’s sooner. Usually what happens is that I work myself up enough over whatever issue has finally prompted me to make the appointment (broken tooth in this case) that by the time the appointment comes I do want to go in

And at least this appointment was made as a specific issue thing so I don’t need to hype myself up for a full cleaning etc quite yet. One step at a time right.

I will say that one thing that has helped me is letting go of any shame over crying. I don’t try to stop myself from crying over it anymore. If anything it helps the dentist and staff understand what they are dealing with and if they don’t react well to the crying I know they aren’t the team for me.

 

[Featherblade2007]

Definitely one step at a time!

I’m exactly the same- once there’s an issue I just want it dealt with and behind me. If you think about it, it all makes sense. After all, we’re just trying to protect ourselves as best we can.

And 100% agreed with you on the crying. I don’t conceal my anxiety anymore either and explicitly say “I am worried” if I am. Nothing to be ashamed of really. I actually think it’s a pretty common response and most people are on a spectrum of nerves anyway.

 

[Latwigg]

Well I did it and yes I did cry. The dentist was good at meeting me where I am at and talking about small steps. First thing is cleaning and there is a lot of it because unfortunately I did go along time with only minimal brushing. But she was non judgmental about it.

I have the first cleaning appointment booked for Monday so that I can hopefully have some momentum.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

@Latwigg
This is such a great report! Great job going and tackling this despite the anxiety! Sounds like a good start with this dentist who seems compassionate and great she was unjudgemental! Great job too settting up the cleaning appointment and I know for me the closer together the appts and the more momentum the better I feel as I remember that feeling of the good experience of last time . Hope it goes great for you!

 

[Latwigg]

Had the first round of cleaning today. Just one quadrant and it was under an hour. We’ll do the upper right quadrant next week and that should be quicker because I am missing two teeth on that quadrant. Silver linings right?

The hygienist was great. She started off by talking about entirely unrelated subjects and then it was over faster than I expected. I had originally said I wanted freezing for the cleaning but at my suggestion we tried the numbing gel and that worked well enough and I preferred it to spending a few hours frozen. It’s still a long ass road to climb.

But hey I went back today and I’ve booked the next cleaning. One of my big reasons for avoidance was that there is what seems to be a really heavy buildup of calculus on one of my molars on the upper right. I don’t know why it built up so much more on that tooth vs the others but I’ve been ashamed of it. Anyway we’ll do that area next. In some ways I find the initial exam and first cleaning to be the worst.

I don’t know what the future holds but if this dentist gets me to a place where we can replace my long missing right front tooth and neighbouring tooth, casualties of a bike accident/a negligent childhood dentist, I’ll be buying her a bottle of champagne.

 

[Enarete]

Hey, it sounds like you‘ve been doing amazing! I see how you are interrupting that old parttern and starting to tackle things. I also love how you‘re taking care of your needs and ask for what you need (like numbing).
Shame is a huge one. Such an intense emotion and people go to huge lengths to hide whenever they feel it. It’s so brave to face it and put yourself out there.

Give yourself a pat on the back and keep us posted!

 

[Latwigg]

@Enarete thank you! I will say that a key thing for me has been making sure that I ask for what I need because they can’t guess and knowing that it’s okay to say hey, this is really triggering for me please don’t do x.

As a teen I had a hygienist mock me for needing numbing for a cleaning. If any dentists are reading along, here’s a tip for you, really pay attention to your hygienists. I haven’t seen many budget dentists in a while but there have been some hygienists and that seems to be more common. There are a disturbing number of hygienists judging and mocking patients on tiktok also.