• Dental Phobia Support

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Here we go again...

Well, here I am again. Thought I should keep this updated just in case anyone is following! I'm not doing great personally (depression etc)....feel like a broken record now to keep saying it but unfortunately that's just how it is! :( :rolleyes:

Anyway, my RCT appointment is tomorrow. I'm really anxious and don't want to go at all! I deliberately booked it for tomorrow because I've been able to take the whole week off work, so it means if I do have pain or problems afterwards, I won't have to miss work or feel obliged to go when I'm not up to it. Which seemed like a good idea at the time, although it has meant I've spent Christmas trying not to worry about the appointment! :hidesbehindsofa: :rolleyes: I'm having no bother with the tooth at all - think I've had maybe one twinge in the last couple of months since my last appointment - so part of me is saying "Why do I need to do this?!", but I guess I have to trust my dentist's opinion. I will tell him and let him decide.

I did email R after my last post here and query about my treatment plan / payment - there was no sedation on the plan but I was listed as needing to pay for the RCT, which I've already paid for months ago! She said that I'm being given the sedation for free and therefore I won't have to pay anything. So I guess that's a nice gesture. :) It does mean though that I'm worrying that I won't get the sedation because it's not written down, but he gave me the usual info sheets etc in my pack and he knows I need it so I'm sure I'm just panicking and it won't happen, but I won't feel relaxed about it until I'm there and have the IV in!

At the moment there are lots of things making up my anxiety (beyond to just the basic "I'M GOING TO THE DENTIST....AAARGH!" :scared: :)):
  • the state of my teeth and whether he'll say something / tell me off. I've done better than before but not great, and I'm pretty sure I have some gum disease.....I hate myself for it but it doesn't solve the problem. :(
  • still not feeling comfortable with him and worrying about what he'll say and whether I'll be able to say things if I need to etc.
  • pain during / discomfort - last time my jaw was very sore during and for a number of days after, so I'm going to ask him about that, though I suspect there may just be nothing he can do about it (he kept saying during the appointment "Open wider", and my mouth was already open so wide that it hurt).
  • pain afterwards (I keep remembering last time....)
  • whether I'll need antibiotics (really don't want to have to take them)
  • not knowing for sure what will happen - I've already signed to say he can take the tooth out if he decides it's necessary but I really don't want that to happen.
  • being 'out of action' all week - although I've taken the week off I still have lots to do, so I need to be well and pain-free enough to do it!
  • how well the sedation will work - last time he gave me a lower dose because I'd mentioned about being out of it in a previous appointment and reacting badly to something (impressions) and trying to push them away, and he said it's very dangerous if that happens and I must have been over-sedated so he gave me less, and I guess he must be right but I was aware for the whole appointment (though sleepy and time passed more quickly) and I didn't like it.

I would do anything not to have to go, and it's hard to motivate myself when I have no pain or anything in the tooth, but I guess he knows what he's doing. In my best case scenario I get there and he decides I don't need it after all, refunds me my money and sends me home! :jump: :cheer: Not likely, I know, but hey, a girl can dream!

Carole - lovely to hear from you and sorry I didn't reply sooner. :redface: Hope things are all ok with you?
 
Hi glad to see you here, things are fine with me thank you. I am finally getting a guard because my jaw is still sore and my grinding is still causing damage.

Sorry you are not so good, I hope you had a good Christmas despite being worried about your appointment. You should be fine after, hopefully your jaw won't hurt. Maybe with the sedation you will relax more which should help your jaw situation.

So once you get tomorrow out of the way, have a very Happy New Year :fireworks::fireworks::fireworks:GOOD LUCK FOR TOMORROW :clover::clover::clover: :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::friends::friends::friends::friends::friends::friends::friends::hug5::butterfly:
 
Thanks Carole. :) Sorry to hear you're still having bother but glad they're doing something to help. Hope you had a lovely Christmas. Have you got much planned for new year?

I will write a proper update of what happened in a couple of days, when I have a bit more perspective (sedation always seems to leave me feeling like the world'd about to end! :cry:), but I can at least confirm that I went and I got through it! And, so far, I've not had too much pain....long may that continue! :whirl: The appointment itself I didn't like and I'm still not at all comfortable with D5. :( I felt like he wasn't listening to me and was ignoring what I wanted. I also still can't shake this feeling that he doesn't like me or is annoyed with me - that could well be all in my phobic head :rolleyes:, but that's the impression I get. It leaves me in this position where I'm torn between trying to please him (which, as per my childhood dentist, has me pretending everything's ok when it's nor or just accepting what he does whether I like it or not), and on the other hand feeling I have to speak up and ask for things, or I can't help reacting to things (e.g. crying, shaking etc), but then not knowing how he'll react.

Also have some uncertainty / confusion about the treatment itself (as per my questions in the dentistry sections thread). I'm a bit confused / concerned that he only took 30 minutes to do RCT on a molar tooth, as I know other have had 2 or 3 long appointments and he's done the whole thing in one 30 minute go! I hope that means it was an easy job rather than that he's not done it properly....he's very experienced and has his reputation to protect, so i have to assume he wouldn't do anything less than a thorough job, but I don't understand how he was able to do it so quickly.

Actually, I may as well say what happened - do it while my memory's fresher! After sedation, things get increasingly fuzzy / disappear from my memory over the next day or so.

So, there was a hold up which meant we arrived a bit late, but he was still willing to see me. I went in and straight away noticed we were in a different dentist's room (think the nurse explained to me why but I was too nervous to take it in!) and it seemed to be full of people!! :scared: There was definitely another nurse and possible another person as well, but they left. There was also a teenage kid sitting on a chair. D5 said he was doing work experience and would I be willing to let him stay. The way he phrased it made me feel pressured to say yes, and I thought about it, but I couldn't bear the thought of it so I apologised to him and the kid, but said no. D5 said that's fine but his tone of voice didn't sound like he was happy with me. I stand by my decision though. A dental student I could maybe cope with on a good day - and, after all, they need to learn how to deal with anxious patients like me! - but some teenager reporting back to school about the fully grown woman shaking and crying in the chair? No thank you!

Next I was in the chair and getting my IV in; I let him rush me cos I was late and that wasn't his fault. I got my mp3 player out and said I'd probably need help with it (he'd put the drug straight in and I was already starting to feel woozy). He said I hadn't used it last time. I said "Yes, because I think I forgot to press play before the sedation kicked in". I spent ages yesterday removing everything from my mp3 player and filling it with happy Christmas music, had set it up ready to go with a favourite song, and was looking forward to listening and trying to relax and switch off from what's going on. But he just left me holding it my hand - I never even got a chance to put the earphones in. He'd decided I didn't need it, so I didn't have it. That makes me feel quite upset and almost angry, because it's not his decision to make! I wanted music - and I think I would have coped much better both last appointment and this one if I'd had it - and who is he to say I shouldn't have it?! D3 and D4 both helped me put and keep the earphones in / pressed play for me etc. Why couldn't he do the same? Why does he think he has the right to overrule my wishes?

Second thing, I did mention about my jaw being sore last time. So this time he used a bite block. I found it uncomfortable but he said it helped and to be fair I don't have the jaw pain this time. So that seems to have been a good call. :thumbsup!: My one issue is that at some point - towards the end of the appointment I think - I was find it very uncomfortable and feeling a bit gaggy, and I asked if he could take it out for a minute and give me a break, and he said no. I felt so helpless at that moment, and I know I was crying. I think I cried at a least one other point during the appointment as well, but I can't remember why or what was happening. I understand that maybe he couldn't stop what he was doing because he was in the middle of something, I get that, but to my memory (which I don't trust 100% but this memory seems quite clear) he didn't say "No, I'm afraid I can't stop what I'm doing but as soon as I can stop and give you a break I will", he just kind of said "No, I can't take it off, it has to stay there". He didn't say it nastily, but definitely - like that's his answer and that's that. No room for negotiation. Unless I've not understood something, I can't understand why he couldn't given me a break, even if we were near the end.

I think all this points to how he makes me feel and why I don't feel comfortable with him - I don't feel in control of my own appointments. I don't feel like he listens to me or is concerned about how I feel or what I want, and I now don't trust him to stop when I ask. I don't know where that leaves me tbh. I can't face telling him I don't want to see him any more but I don't trust him and am afraid of him and I don't want to feel like that about my dentist, especially when I know how much better it can be. There is some comfort in familiarity, and I have that, and he's very pleasant, but he seems happy to ignore me whenever he thinks he knows better, and I can't accept that.

The only other part of the appointment I can remember much of is getting an injection and it hurting. Other than that it's all a blur or just gone. I don't remember any pain so at least I must have been fully numb. I do think the bite blocked helped with my jaw not being so tired and sore, and probably having a shorter appointment helped that too.

I feel unsure about what's happening next and my after care instructions, but I think that's the fault of my escort not taking the information in rather then D5's fault. I'm back in 6 months, presumably for a review, and then an onlay I guess if all's well.

I wonder if I do need to write to him, but I don't know what to say. I can't see things changing if I don't tell him how I feel, but since I'm kind of criticising / accusing him I don't know that I have the guts to do that, and I'm not convinced there's any way it could turn out well. I do keep bearing in mind the my relationships with D3 and D4 took time to develop, which is why I've been prepared to give it time. There are, though, some people who are just never going to be the right match for you (like H3). Plus I was never afraid of D3 or D4 - D4 especially I wasn't sure he was the right kind of dentist for me but I always felt safe with him.

I wonder if he thinks how I've been with him is just how I am, but I definitely had positive, uneventful and peaceful treatment appointments with both D3 and D4, and I've yet to have one with him. I guess what I want to say is, "It's not me, it's you! - Yes I am an very anxious patient and yes I may sometimes struggle with things, but it is possible (and not actually that difficult!) to treat me in a way that reduces the fear, panic and tears to a minimum, and other dentists have managed it - w̶h̶y̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶?̶!̶ :p I mean, please can you give it a try?"

Well, it's something to think about, and to give more thought to when I'm out of the sedation fog and no longer feeling like all I want to do is weep and sleep! lol Any thoughts anyone has on what you'd do in my situation, or just anything you feel like saying, are welcome as always. :)
 
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Well I don't like the sound of that dentist. I couldn't see him, he is too over powering for me. I at the very least need to know that they will stop if I need it, not straight away but as soon as they can. I don't know why he couldn't flip the dam off and remove the bite block. I was offered one when I was going to the hospital last year but decided against it.

Sorry to say I think you may need to write and be honest with this man, attend your 6 month appointment and see if he has improved but don't stay with someone that smiles but still does what they want. You are supposed to be in charge and have to give consent for treatment. His refusal to remove the bite thing kinda goes against that.

On a more positive note it does seem as if he has done a good job as you are in no pain. I hope it stays settled and that you have no problems with it.

I have no plans for the new year in answer to your question on the other thread. I will see what happens as and when, I do know I am back for a three month check up in March to see how my front tooth is going. I will at some point have to have it extracted and an immediate put in until at a later date a bridge like thing can be put in. I think it will have to happen sooner rather than later.

All the best to you try to enjoy the next 6 months dentist free time and HAPPY NEW YEAR :fireworks::fireworks::fireworks:
 
Thanks Carole. :) Happy new year to you too! Hope this is a dental hassle-free year for you.

Today I've been a bit sore and achey in my jaw (on the side he was treating but not the side where the bite block was), under my tongue where it's bright red (maybe from the suction thing??) and in the tooth itself, but nothing major and I haven't needed any painkillers today. Hopefully I'm going to have an easier time of it this time!

I really don't know what to do about D5. :dunno: The trouble with sedation is that I can't be completely sure about what went on during my appointments. Maybe he was justified in saying no to me when I asked for a break and I just don't know why. Or maybe I didn't communicate clearly enough. He's a popular dentist and has built his whole practice based on trying to help anxious patients so I know he can't be that bad at treating them or he wouldn't have got to where he is today. Nonetheless I can't shake how I feel. I've never felt comfortable with him and I keep waiting for it to happen and it hasn't. I feel trapped because I don't know how to explain to him and don't feel I can ask to switch dentists so I feel like I'm just stuck with him. And I feel guilty for not liking him because he seems like a nice guy and everyone seems to like him so I feel like there must be something wrong with me. :(

What I really want is to be able to feel safe with him and settle with him but it's just not happening and I'm so frustrated - with him and with myself....and with D4 for leaving!!! I really don't know if it's my fault or his fault or just one of those things. I don't whether to try to do something about or just to try to put it to the back of my mind until 6 months' time and see if it's any better then. *Sigh.*
 
Tooth is aching more constantly now.....hope it doesn't last! :stop:
 
Don't let the pain build up take some meds because it might be nothing but a pain that is left to take hold is harder to get rid of.

If you get on top of this it might completely go and you may not need to take anymore, it could be that for a couple of days you will need something.

Try not to worry see how things go, treat the tooth as you would a normal non worked on one, just be a little more careful that's all.

You could either write to the dentist explaining that you don't know what is making you feel so nervous but that you do, and you really like him as a person and really want to continue to work with him to get over your fear. Explain that if he could be as patient as he has been that you are trying to overcome this.
Or just see how the check up goes in 6 months. I think I would see how things go when you next see him and see how you feel then.

The best thing is that you got there and did it :jump::jump::jump::jump::jump: and survived to tell the tale.

Happy healing, and all the best for the new year to you and your family :XXLhug::XXLhug::XXLhug::XXLhug::XXLhug::friends::butterfly:
 
Thanks hun. :)

I had pain through the night but was able to sleep through it so it didn't bother me. Today it's been on and off; every time it started getting worse and I thought I'd need to take something, it died away again. But then I fell asleep about an hour ago and woke up with it really throbbing so I've taken some paracetamol, but they've yet to kick in and at the moment the pain is getting stronger. :( I don't understand why it's getting worse instead of better. :dunno: I feel like it lulled me into a false sense of security by not hurting for a day and then suddenly aching, more and more....not cool, Mr Tooth! :naughty:

Anyway, it's now really hurting so I hope the tablets will work. My face is also a bit swollen but nothing like last time. Hopefully I won't need antibiotics because I'm scared to take them after not having the best experience with them earlier this year. D5 gave me a prescription so I can get them if I need them, but I don't know how I'm supposed to know whether I need them or not, and you shouldn't take them unless you actually need them because you can build up immunity, so I would want to be sure. I'm hoping it will just get better but maybe that's just wishful thinking.

As for D5, I think I might write a letter so that I've articulated what I want to say, and then I can decide whether to give it or not. I could send it to him now, I could give it to him before or at my next appointment, or I may decide not to give it him at all, but I think it could be helpful to put into writing exactly how I feel and what I would like to happen.

Anyway, happy new year to you Carole, and to anyone else who's reading! :fireworks::fireworks::fireworks: Hope you all have a great one!
 
Hi if your face is a bit swollen and you are having more pain, get a cold pack on your check cold salt water rinses, or just cold water rinses help a lot too, and get the antibiotics and take the full course. If things persist after having stopped the antibiotics get straight back to the dentist. Sorry to say but you could have a bit of infection under the tooth so don't let things slide.

I am laughing to myself here because I just thought it is new years eve and we are here. I never did like going out at the best of times but I only twice went out in my 20's on new years eve and decided it wasn't for me, no thank you very much.

I did like working on new years eve though when I worked behind a bar, now that was fun :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

I hope your tooth settles, you have a good one too :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::friends::there-there::butterfly:
 
Just to keep this updated....I'm still in pain. :( Not a happy bunny! Particularly not impressed with how this tooth lulled me into a false sense of security by not really hurting for 24 hours and then, BOOM! Bad tooth! :naughty: :rolleyes:

My face also feels swollen and a bit tingly but it's not visible swollen and neither the pain nor the swelling are anything like they were when I had an infection before, so I'm hoping that's not what it is and this is just normal post-RCT pain. At the moment it is bearable with painkillers. Hopefully it will start to get better soon. If it doesn't, I guess I'll be on to the antibiotics. :(

Pain, pain, go away..... :whistle:
 
Sorry I’m a bit late in replying; I’ve been a bit busy with the Christmas and New Year festivities... and recovering from eating a bit too much over the past week or so (as usual!!).

Everything that follows is based on a combination of both my own experiences and also spending more than 10 years now as an admin on here and reading other people’s experiences, so feel free to take or discard from it what you wish :)... Hopefully some of it may help :).

I'm a bit confused / concerned that he only took 30 minutes to do RCT on a molar tooth, as I know other have had 2 or 3 long appointments and he's done the whole thing in one 30 minute go! I hope that means it was an easy job rather than that he's not done it properly....he's very experienced and has his reputation to protect, so i have to assume he wouldn't do anything less than a thorough job, but I don't understand how he was able to do it so quickly.

It’s difficult to say without knowing what you had done at the other two or three appointments for the tooth. It sounds like it has been done in stages rather than in one long appointment, which could possibly explain why this appointment was only 30 minutes, because most of the work may have been completed during the previous appointments.

All my root canals have been on molars (all my molars except my wisdom teeth) and the first one was done at the NHS practice I used to go to a few years ago. It was a lower molar and the rct was done in one single appointment which took 55 minutes from start to finish, including the amalgam filling being placed at the end of the appointment. Although it did bring some relief from the pain, it never really settled down and when I changed practices (to go to a private practice), I was told that it wasn’t a very good job and that it needed to be re-treated by an endodontist.

When I had that first rct re-done, it took three appointments, each of which was about an hour and a half and after it was finished, it turned out that the reason I’d been experiencing sensitivity and pain in the tooth was because it hadn’t been filled right to the ends of the roots and there was also still a lot of tissue left down the length of each canal as well, which meant that the tooth never settled down.

Some dentists prefer to do rct in one long appointment and some prefer to do it in two or more appointments to allow the tooth to settle. The endodontist who has re-treated my first rct and has also done new rcts on the other seven molars, routinely prefers to do two appointments per tooth with a two week gap between. Of the seven new rcts, I had real problems with pain and inflammation in a couple of the lower ones which meant that they needed more than two appointments (four or five appointments for the worst one!), but if I use the most straightforward ones as an example, they were treated over two appointments, so about three hours per tooth (not including the permanent filling).

If you’ve been advised to go back in six months, then I would think that the rct has been completed and that you’ve had a permanent filling, or at least a decent temporary filling, until you eventually have the onlay or crown fitted when the tooth has settled down.

There was also a teenage kid sitting on a chair. D5 said he was doing work experience and would I be willing to let him stay. The way he phrased it made me feel pressured to say yes, and I thought about it, but I couldn't bear the thought of it so I apologised to him and the kid, but said no. D5 said that's fine but his tone of voice didn't sound like he was happy with me. I stand by my decision though. A dental student I could maybe cope with on a good day - and, after all, they need to learn how to deal with anxious patients like me! - but some teenager reporting back to school about the fully grown woman shaking and crying in the chair? No thank you!

I’m having deja vu here as I am reminded of the way that brit responded to one of my posts last year... However my situation was very different in that I had total trust in the dentist doing the treatment, I wasn’t put under any pressure to consent to having someone else in my appointment whatsoever, I could have refused at any time without it being a problem and the person observing was a qualified dentist who was also a nice guy and who joined in the conversation during my appointment.

However, in your situation, I’m sorry to say that I think this was totally out of order. They know that you’re very anxious and that you were having IV sedation for this appointment and so were therefore likely to be even more anxious and stressed out than at a normal checkup/review appointment, so it wasn’t really appropriate or fair of them to ask in the first place since you had enough to cope with, without an audience. Not only that, but the person they wanted you to consent to having in your appointment, wasn’t even a dental student, let alone a qualified dentist but yet they thought it was it was acceptable for them to sit in on an appointment with a highly stressed patient? Nope. I don’t think it was acceptable at all, certainly not to spring the surprise on you when you walked through the door – if it was really necessary then they should have asked you well before your appointment when you were in a more relaxed state and could make the choice without feeling pressured into saying one thing or the other.

At the local hospital near me, they used to have a cadet scheme where 16 year olds who were interested in working in healthcare, could join the scheme and work in different parts of the hospital to gain experience before deciding on a career path. Quite often, this brought them into contact with patients, some of whom were ill and/or very anxious, but the patients were always given the choice before any of these cadets ever entered the room or went anywhere near them and they were also informed of their right to refuse (as indeed is the case in large teaching hospitals where they sometimes ask for your consent for medical students to talk to you and/or examine you – and you totally have the right to refuse at any time without it affecting your treatment in any way).

Or to put it another way; I occasionally have trainee hypnotherapists sitting in on some of my client sessions, but:


  1. I always contact the client well beforehand to seek their permission and make it very clear that they are under no obligation to say yes at all.
  2. The trainee therapist is not a teenager, they are an adult (hypnotherapy is usually something that people do as a second career, so most people doing their training tend to be about 40+... I was unusual in that I trained in my mid 20s) who has well developed social and interpersonal skills and is someone I have known for a while in my capacity as their mentor.
  3. I pick which clients to ask very carefully

On the occasions where I have asked clients for permission, they are clients who I have worked with for a few sessions and so there is an atmosphere of trust. I also would never ask someone who was experiencing trauma or severe anxiety; it’s not appropriate – certainly not until they are in a more settled emotional state where it would not have any negative effect. I certainly wouldn’t have a client who had arrived at the clinic to see me, being surprised at last minute when I collect them from the waiting room and then as we walk into my room, saying at last minute “Oh, by the way, this is Fred, he’s doing working experience with me. You don’t mind if he observes do you?”. No way. Any client who agrees to let a trainee observe their session, has consented well in advance so they expect it when they arrive at the clinic. I also take the person who is observing, with me to greet the client in the waiting room and they introduce themselves to the client, as well as giving them the opportunity to re-consider if they wish.

I got my mp3 player out and said I'd probably need help with it (he'd put the drug straight in and I was already starting to feel woozy). He said I hadn't used it last time. I said "Yes, because I think I forgot to press play before the sedation kicked in". I spent ages yesterday removing everything from my mp3 player and filling it with happy Christmas music, had set it up ready to go with a favourite song, and was looking forward to listening and trying to relax and switch off from what's going on. But he just left me holding it my hand - I never even got a chance to put the earphones in. He'd decided I didn't need it, so I didn't have it. That makes me feel quite upset and almost angry, because it's not his decision to make! I wanted music - and I think I would have coped much better both last appointment and this one if I'd had it - and who is he to say I shouldn't have it?! D3 and D4 both helped me put and keep the earphones in / pressed play for me etc. Why couldn't he do the same? Why does he think he has the right to overrule my wishes?

I think deep down, you know the answer to this one. :(

From my experiences over the last few years, dentists who work with nervous patients, are usually either:


  • Someone who enjoys putting people at their ease and although they don’t necessary have any training in sedation, their natural demeanour helps to calm moderately anxious patients;
  • Someone who has the natural ability to work with nervous patients and also has training/experience in sedation and so can use that as well if required;
  • Someone who is trained/experienced in sedation and uses that to enable them to work with nervous patients because it enables the patient to achieve a calm state so that they can work with them (or to put it bluntly, their sedation skills are better than their interpersonal skills).

From everything you’ve said, it may be that D5 fits into the third category when what you’re maybe looking for, is someone who is in the second one.

My one issue is that at some point - towards the end of the appointment I think - I was find it very uncomfortable and feeling a bit gaggy, and I asked if he could take it out for a minute and give me a break, and he said no. I felt so helpless at that moment, and I know I was crying. I think I cried at a least one other point during the appointment as well, but I can't remember why or what was happening.

If you were crying, then it was obvious that you needed a break and it wouldn’t have done any harm to at least give you a break for a couple of minutes, even if the bite block ‘couldn’t’ be removed. Although I’ve never had a bite block during an appointment (I personally can’t stand the thought so I’d rather have the jaw ache – but that’s just me), I have read plenty of accounts on here where people have asked for them to be removed mid way through an appointment and it’s not been a problem, so it sounds as if he was more interested in cracking on with treatment than in giving you a quick break.

During all the rct appointments I’ve had over the past couple of years, I can’t remember needing to ask for a break because whenever I’ve become uncomfortable or anxious (and started fidgeting or making noises!), the endodontist stopped straightaway to ask if I was OK and/or to give me a break, without me needing to ask. However, I know that if I ever do actually ask (rather than making strange whimpering noises and hoping that he’s received the message telepathically via ESP!), then he will stop; the thought that he won’t has never actually crossed my mind because trust exists.

I know that sedation is an absolute must for you, but unless you are able to form a trusting working relationship, then I think you will find it difficult to make progress or feel comfortable with this dentist. At this point, you’ve got three options really:


  1. Hope that things resolve themselves and that next time it goes better for you. If you don’t do anything or initiate any action, then this is unlikely to happen because it requires change from one or both of you.
  2. Try and make it work. He might be experienced in dentistry and sedation, but he may score a bit low in the emotional intelligence stakes – meaning that you need to spell it out to him in black and white. Write a nice letter where you talk about what has happened, how it made you feel and what you need from him in order to move forwards. Giving him a ‘to do’ list might be just what he needs; remember you’re the customer here and are allowed to ask for things as well. If he doesn’t react positively, then it’s onto point 3:
  3. Accept that maybe he’s not the dentist for you and you may need to look elsewhere; either within the same practice or somewhere new. If this turns out to be the case, despite how it might feel, it really isn’t the end of the world. Patients do leave practices and go elsewhere for various reasons, so it’s nothing out of the ordinary. Sometimes the saying “better the devil you know” is true, but then again, the devil you know, usually continues to be a devil (at least in my experience anyway – leopards don’t change their spots). The devil you don’t know, may not turn out to be a devil at all.

I wonder if I do need to write to him, but I don't know what to say. I can't see things changing if I don't tell him how I feel, but since I'm kind of criticising / accusing him I don't know that I have the guts to do that, and I'm not convinced there's any way it could turn out well.

You wouldn’t be criticising or accusing him. Write a nice letter which explains how you feel and then it’s up to him how he responds. You can’t force someone to react positively and if he doesn’t, then it just means that he’s not the person for you, so then you will know and can move on. On the other hand, he might be a bit frustrated and a nudge in the right direction might be just what’s needed to soften him up a bit. Sometimes people can be technically brilliant at their jobs, but as thick as a brick on an emotional level.

There have been quite a number of people on here over the years who have given notes or letters to their dentist for exactly the same reason and they have experienced varying degrees of success. When I eventually plucked up the courage to write a letter to the dentist I was seeing a few years ago, I took it with me to an appointment and when he told me that I needed a dressing in a tooth and that he could do it at that appointment, after he did the LA injections, I gave him the letter to read before I went back upstairs to sit in the waiting room whilst he saw the next patient (and whilst I was waiting for the LA to work). The next 15 minutes were horrendous; I must’ve died a thousand deaths and was just on the point of doing a runner, when he came into the waiting room to say he was ready for me to go back downstairs for him to sort my painful tooth out. I was expecting the worst, like he was going to be really awful... but he wasn’t. He never mentioned the letter but he was a lot more calming and patient with me and did everything I’d asked in the letter. Appointments after that were a lot better as well.

If you’re struggling for ideas or don’t know what to say, you could post a draft on the forum (in the private bit if you prefer) and get some feedback. A basic outline could be something along the lines of


  • How the appointment made you feel
  • What you’re worried about
  • What would help

The last one could be a list of bullet points – that way it’s easier to digest and remember. The aim of the letter is to give him the opportunity to help you in a way that will work for both of you.

Hopefully I won't need antibiotics because I'm scared to take them after not having the best experience with them earlier this year. D5 gave me a prescription so I can get them if I need them, but I don't know how I'm supposed to know whether I need them or not, and you shouldn't take them unless you actually need them because you can build up immunity, so I would want to be sure. I'm hoping it will just get better but maybe that's just wishful thinking.

That’s a bit lazy to give you a prescription and then expect you to decide whether you have an infection or not.... unless he’s sure that you would know whether you definitely needed antibiotics or not.

I’ve never had an infection (yet... touch wood!), so I can’t tell you how that would feel, but I do know that experiencing a fair amount of pain for a few days following rct is not uncommon. I think it does depend on why you needed the rct, for example, if there was a lot of pain and inflamation in the tooth before treatment, then it might be a bit more sore afterwards and take a while to settle down. I’ve also been told that it’s not uncommon for the pain to seem to go away following the appointment, only to return 24 to 48 hours later. This can be due to the small amount of old manky root canal tissue stuff which is occasionally pushed out of the tip of the canal during cleaning; if this is what's causing your pain, it should subside within a few days.

Most of my root canals were fairly painful for about five days afterwards before they started to show signs of improvement... but then again, I did have a lot of pain beforehand as well. Also, if you had a lot of injections and he was a bit rough with them, that can make your gums/soft tissues sore for a few days. I’ve had a sore mouth from the injections before and found Bonjela Cool gel helped quite a bit.

If you’re not 100% sure whether it’s an infection which you would need antibiotics for, I would call your dentist and ask them first thing tomorrow (Friday) – that’s what they’re there for, otherwise you could be worrying about having to take anti-biotics for something which might settle on its own with painkillers and time.

:grouphug:
 
Hi Vicki, thanks for replying and no worries at all about not posting sooner - I figured you were enjoying the festivities, glad one of us can!! ;D

Your post was helpful and thought-provoking, as usual. The more I think about it all, the more I'm really not sure what I think or how I feel. I keep swaying from one side to the other - part of me trusts D5 and part of me doesn't; part of me really likes him and part of me really doesn't; I feel like I should feel safe with him but I don't. I can't get my head straight. I feel like I've somehow ended up in a situation where I'm more concerned about whether he likes me than whether I like him, if you know what I mean, and I don't know why! I wonder if maybe somehow he reminds me of my childhood dentist more than D3 or D4 did, although he doesn't look like him or anything.

What I'd really like is to be able to send someone else like you in to see him, and see what you think - so that I know what is me and what's him.....what is just my phobic / GAD mind getting impressions from him that aren't actual based on fact, and what is genuinely how he is acting. I don't have a way to assess things objectively and it frustrates me. I put a lot of weight on your and Carole's opinions (and others on here) because I know you can imagine how you would feel if it were you there as an fellow anxious patient, but you only have my account of things to go on and I don't necessarily trust my own feelings or memory, especially when I've been sedated.

To answer some of your specific points / questions:

It’s difficult to say without knowing what you had done at the other two or three appointments for the tooth. It sounds like it has been done in stages rather than in one long appointment, which could possibly explain why this appointment was only 30 minutes, because most of the work may have been completed during the previous appointments.
Sorry, I probably didn't explain that clearly - I meant I know other people have had two or three long appointments for RCT, whereas I've only had this one, 30 minute one. He was going to do RCT on the tooth a few months ago, but he just did a normal filling and said he'd see if that would be enough. However, I've had some kind of lump swelling in my neck (that I've never noticed but he said he could feel) and I was having occasional heat sensitivity in the tooth, so he said it would need RCT after all. On Monday he did the RCT, all in about 30 minutes, and now I'm not due back for 6 months. I guess some of what he would do he did in the first appointment? But in terms of dealing with the roots themselves that must all have been done in that 30 minutes.

He is a very experienced dentist and despite the worries I have about him, I can't see him being content to do less than a good job. I'm sure he's a good dentist. I just remember reading things on here about it not being possible to treat a molar properly without it being a long job etc, so that's playing on my mind. I don't know whether they ever refer people at his practice - there used to be a resident endodontist but I think he's left now. There's still a general dentist there who lists endodontics as their specialism, but that's all. Outside of this forum I don't know anyone who had their RCT done by anyone other than their ordinary dentist, so I guess your story is more unique.

I don't think I really have a reason to worry, it's just that it was quicker than I expected. My only past experience to go on is my one other RCT, and I'm sure the appointment was much longer, although I think that tooth was in worse condition, but it was also a premolar rather than a molar. I remember D3 (or D2?) originally saying to me that tooth looked straight forward to treat from the x-rays, but if not I'd be referred to their specialist (this was at Practice 2). What actually happened was that D3 tried and felt the tooth wasn't savable, but D4 treated it successfully and it's fine now. Hopefully the same will be true this time!

However, in your situation, I’m sorry to say that I think this was totally out of order. They know that you’re very anxious and that you were having IV sedation for this appointment and so were therefore likely to be even more anxious and stressed out than at a normal checkup/review appointment, so it wasn’t really appropriate or fair of them to ask in the first place since you had enough to cope with, without an audience.
Yeah, I think it was a bad call on their part really. I don't know whether it was planned - like I say, I was in another dentist's room and I think maybe we kind of kicked that dentist out to go in there? The nurse explained why to me but I didn't take it in because I was too nervous. But it's possible the lad was meant to stay with that dentist all day? That's who he was sent off to find after I said no. I should also say that my dentist never said I had to have him in and he said it was fine after I said no, I just got the impression I felt like I was being difficult, but that could just be how I felt and not how he felt.

I agree that asking me before I went in would have been better. Although actually, i may then have felt the obligation to say yes without the panic of the situation overriding it to make me say no (I'm hopeless at saying no to people!) - at least with him right there in front of me I knew exactly how I'd feel about having him there and knew I had to say no. I guess I'm just one of many patients to D5, including many anxious patients, and maybe some of them would / did say yes. But I do also feel like if he really knew and cared how I felt, he'd know I couldn't handle it, and know not to ask. I guess he knows now....

From my experiences over the last few years, dentists who work with nervous patients, are usually either:


  • Someone who enjoys putting people at their ease and although they don’t necessary have any training in sedation, their natural demeanour helps to calm moderately anxious patients;
  • Someone who has the natural ability to work with nervous patients and also has training/experience in sedation and so can use that as well if required;
  • Someone who is trained/experienced in sedation and uses that to enable them to work with nervous patients because it enables the patient to achieve a calm state so that they can work with them (or to put it bluntly, their sedation skills are better than their interpersonal skills).

From everything you’ve said, it may be that D5 fits into the third category when what you’re maybe looking for, is someone who is in the second one.
Honestly, I just don't know. :dunno: He's very pleasant and friendly and kind in his words and he's dedicated his whole career towards making sedation accessible to anyone who needs it and offering it to anxious patients. I think somewhere along the line he must have genuinely cared for his patients or you wouldn't choose that career path. Plus, if he was one of those 'Dope 'em up so they behave' types then I think people would have voted with their feet and left, whereas he seems to be a very popular dentist. I can imagine people liking him; he's the kind of person you assume would be popular. It may just be that he's not the right fit for me.


If you were crying, then it was obvious that you needed a break and it wouldn’t have done any harm to at least give you a break for a couple of minutes, even if the bite block ‘couldn’t’ be removed. Although I’ve never had a bite block during an appointment (I personally can’t stand the thought so I’d rather have the jaw ache – but that’s just me), I have read plenty of accounts on here where people have asked for them to be removed mid way through an appointment and it’s not been a problem, so it sounds as if he was more interested in cracking on with treatment than in giving you a quick break.
The issue is that I can't remember exactly what happened or what either of us said because the sedation has fuzzied my memory. So I remember asking him to stop or take it out or something and him saying no, and then I lay back crying, but I don't remember what was happening before or what happened afterwards. It's possible he was nearly finished, or that he did give me a break later and I don't remember. Unfortunately, the parts of my appointments that I seem to remember the most clearly are the parts where I was distressed or in pain! I think perhaps because those are the points where I fight the sedation rather than relaxing in to it. That's been the same with Ds 3, 4 and 5.

I don't actually like the idea of the bite block either and I don't think I would tolerate it well unsedated, but when I'm relaxed enough not to gag or fight then it can just do it's job, ans it seemed to work - I don't remember having an issue with it apart from at that one point, and it does seem to have helped my jaw as it's been a lot less sore than last time, and not sore at all on the side where the block was.

I know that sedation is an absolute must for you, but unless you are able to form a trusting working relationship, then I think you will find it difficult to make progress or feel comfortable with this dentist.
Agreed.

At this point, you’ve got three options really:


  1. Hope that things resolve themselves and that next time it goes better for you. If you don’t do anything or initiate any action, then this is unlikely to happen because it requires change from one or both of you.
  2. Try and make it work. He might be experienced in dentistry and sedation, but he may score a bit low in the emotional intelligence stakes – meaning that you need to spell it out to him in black and white. Write a nice letter where you talk about what has happened, how it made you feel and what you need from him in order to move forwards. Giving him a ‘to do’ list might be just what he needs; remember you’re the customer here and are allowed to ask for things as well. If he doesn’t react positively, then it’s onto point 3:
  3. Accept that maybe he’s not the dentist for you and you may need to look elsewhere; either within the same practice or somewhere new. If this turns out to be the case, despite how it might feel, it really isn’t the end of the world. Patients do leave practices and go elsewhere for various reasons, so it’s nothing out of the ordinary. Sometimes the saying “better the devil you know” is true, but then again, the devil you know, usually continues to be a devil (at least in my experience anyway – leopards don’t change their spots). The devil you don’t know, may not turn out to be a devil at all.
Yeah, I kind of agree that things aren't going to improve unless I do something, since either he needs to change or I need to change so that I'm comfortable with him as he is. I do think he is genuine in being nice and wanting to do a good job, both as a dentist and as a dentist for anxious patients. But I don't know whether he would be responsive to me asking him to do things a certain way. I feel like he would see it as me telling him how to do is job - a job he's done for a long time very successfully - and wouldn't take kindly to it. Like he knows better than me sort of thing, especially if other patients love him so much as he is. But I'm not them. I think that writing to him may be the only way forward, but I'm very afraid to do that and scared about what his reaction would be.

Leaving really isn't an option, as I don't feel that there is anywhere else I can go. I already travel to go to this practice; there is nowhere else within reasonable driving distance where there is (a) a dentist offering sedation and who I like the sound of, (b) a hygienist, (c) no worrying bad reviews and (d) fees I can afford. There are other dentists at this practices who I haven't tried yet so I suppose that is an option, but I would find it very hard to tell D5 I want to see a different dentist instead.

You wouldn’t be criticising or accusing him. Write a nice letter which explains how you feel and then it’s up to him how he responds. You can’t force someone to react positively and if he doesn’t, then it just means that he’s not the person for you, so then you will know and can move on. On the other hand, he might be a bit frustrated and a nudge in the right direction might be just what’s needed to soften him up a bit. Sometimes people can be technically brilliant at their jobs, but as thick as a brick on an emotional level.
He is very friendly and chatty and doesn't seem to have any problems communicating etc - he comes across as a people person. But he doesn't seem to 'get' me. He comes across as very confident, which I find quite intimidating, and also he seems sort of sure himself in how he deals with me in such a way that I feel like when I want something different or that he hasn't offered that I must be wrong. I don't know how much of this is due to him and how much is due to my own insecurities. I suspect it's a combination of both.

I think I need to accept he's never going to be the same type of person as, say H2, who was gentle and unassuming, and constantly asking me if I'm ok, asking me how I wanted things, praising me, and so on. I don't know if it's partly a male/female thing since the only dentist who has been anything like that was D3, whilst H1 and H2 were both like that, though different in their personalities, and H4 isn't bad either. I think D5 has a different personality and just is never going to be that person, so wishing for that is just futile. And, tbh, searching for another dentist who is like that could prove a wild goose chase as well. But if D5 just did / said enough that I felt safe and cared for and not a nuisance, that would make the world of difference.

At the moment I feel safe in his hands in that I feel sure they are very competent hands and not nasty ones, but I do feel like he is indifferent to me, like I don't really matter. I don't know if he knows I feel and I don't know if he cares. He knows my back story because I told him when we first met. Whether he remembers or whether it makes a difference to him, I don't know - maybe I'm just one of many anxious patients and he treats us all the same? I suppose it probably works for most people. I feel like telling him I need something different would be very demanding and maybe unreasonable?

I also wonder whether, if he were the kind of dentist/person who would want to know how to help me, then he would already have asked. Even if he did some things I asked him to, if it felt like he was doing things because he had to but he thought it was ridiculous (how I felt with my childhood dentist) then that's no better than not doing them at all. I'd still feel just as terrible and just as unsafe, because I still wouldn't feel I could trust that he genuinely has my best interests at heart, and genuinely wants to help me.

I think, as I said, I will write the letter, and then decide whether I feel I can or should give it to him. I will probably get people to say what they think on here too (privately). I keep thinking back to my first treatment appointment with D3, where I had felt like such a difficult patient, having asked her a long list of questions and then had a panic attack in the chair, all before we even got started! When I thanked her afterwards she said I was a delight to treat. I couldn't believe it! Me! Now, I'm sure sedation made me a lot more 'delightful', but it was obvious she didn't mind the questions or the shaking or the crying etc at all; she didn't think I was pathetic and she wasn't annoyed with me for being so afraid (the two responses I expect after my past experience), she was just glad she could help me.

With D5, I feel like I have sort of reverted to my relationship with my childhood dentist, whereby I feel like he looks down on me for being afraid or finding things hard to cope with (though he's never said that), and I'm trying to gain his approval and do what keeps him happy with me. It's not necessarily his fault, it's just how I've ended up reacting to him. It shouldn't even matter to me what he thinks of me, but for some reason it does. And that puts even more pressure on our appointments, that he's not even aware of. It's almost like at school, like if one of the 'in crowd' deems someone worthy of being their friend or not, or the boy everyone liked said a girl is pretty or ugly....I don't know quite how to explain it, but it's more than just knowing I'm not a burden as a patient (though that's part of it); there's something about him that makes me constantly aware of the balance of power in his favour so that, even more than normal, I feel like I need reassurance that he's happy with me, and I need to work to 'earn' his approval. The reverse of all that it would probably only take him saying one or two things that make it seem like he is genuinely concerned that I feel safe or that he is happy with me, and I'd very quickly start to relax and feel like I could trust him. On the other hand, if I write to him to explain that, it then doesn't work, because if I've had to tell him to say those things rather than him saying them by himself, then I've no reason to believe he means them. :rolleyes:

Maybe it's not actually that different to how it was with D4 - needing reassurance etc. The main difference is that D4 seemed more approachable to me. It's already quite a humiliating thing to say, but with D5 I'd feel like a complete idiot. D4 was much more accommodating when I asked for things too, which then gave me the confidence to ask other things. With D5 the opposite has happened....

That’s a bit lazy to give you a prescription and then expect you to decide whether you have an infection or not.... unless he’s sure that you would know whether you definitely needed antibiotics or not.
It was because of it coming up to a bank holiday when he knew they'd be closed, and he said he didn't want me to be suffering and not able do anything about it. So I think it's actually a nice thing. :) He also said I could call up with any questions I had. And he told my escort what to do as well, it's just that he didn't really take any of it in! I think it's normal maybe to give out antibiotics just in case anyway - D3 gave me them in case I needed them but said only to take them if I needed them, and I never did.

I had an infection last time and the pain and swelling were loads worse than this, so I'm assuming that's not what it is. I had no symptoms in the tooth prior to treatment. The pain is intermittent and bearable with painkillers, so hopefully it's just normal healing pain and it will settle down. I may call the practice tomorrow just to check what he thinks.

Thank for the tip about Bonjela. :) After my last appointment with D5 my gums were very sore from the injections, but this time there has been no soreness at all, which I guess is to his credit! I've had some pain under my tongue (which is very red and has obviously been caught with something), some pain in my jaw on that side (pretty much gone now), and the rest has just been regular toothache. My dentist also suggested putting Sensodyne toothpaste on the tooth, I can't remember what for though (instructions given while I was still away with the fairies!). But I presume to help if it's sensitive rather than with toothache?

Hmm....long post....I blame you for this one! ;D :p :innocent:
 
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Hi Pianimo! :XXLhug:
I was just catching up on your posts. Sorry to hear things aren't going as well as you had hoped with D5. Based on what you have said I think you are completely justified in saying that you do not feel safe with him. I think especially with sedation, you need to feel like you have some control and that the dentist is in tune to your needs/advocating for you. As difficult as it seems, you may have to be straight with him about what's not working for you and if he is everything his reputation boasts that he is he will be open and responsive to your concerns. Also as you said it could just be a personality clash and it might be time to try for a D6 even if that means changing dentists within the practice. In all of his years of practice, surely you are not the first patient to clash with him and request another dentist. You have to do what is right for you and not worry about him. I do hope that your tooth settles very soon.

I have a cleaning/exam in 1 week which is probably why I am coming around more recently. Everytime l have an appointment coming up I find myself here in the days leading up. It calms me for some reason although right now I actually feel okay and not really anxious. I mostly feel indifferent but I have been very distracted by the holidays and with work which has been crazy so hopefully the anxiety won't sneak up on me last minute.
 
Thanks kitkat. :) Good to hear from you! Hope your appointment goes well and the anxiety stays away in the run up. Will look out to see how it goes.

I'm still in pain so I contacted the practice. They said if the pain is bearable to ride it out, or if it gets unbearable to take the antibiotics, and if I'm still in pain on Monday to call and they'll make me an appointment to see D5. The pain is still coming and going so that makes it bearable - when it's bad, it's bad, but it only lasts maybe half an hour and then I get some relief for a while before it increases again. Painkillers are sometimes helping too, though other times they don't seem to make any difference. I'm happy to ride it out if it's going to away. I don't want to take antibiotics unless it's actually an infection - taking them unnecessarily is bad and it's something I get annoyed with doctors about when they dish them out like sweets. But that's another rant for another day! ;D

I'm back to work Monday so really hoping that it's gone by then, or at least getting better, so that I can manage work, and not have to go back to the dentist. Come on Mr Tooth, be nice... :flowers:
 
Well, it's now 6 days since my appointment and the pain is finally showing signs of going away. :jump: The tooth and the gum around it are still very tender - I can't eat on that side at all and it hurts when I brush the tooth or even just touch my tongue against it - and the toothache is still ongoing, but it has definitely improved. I've managed not to take any painkillers since this morning and just to try to ignore the pain. Hopefully this is it now and it's just going to keep getting better. We'll see....
 
Hooray!!! :jump: I hope you continue on the path to healing! If it turns out you really need the painkillers take them because it is easier to stay ahead of the pain than to get it under control after it has already reached it's boiling point. Sending you positive vibes! 4 days til my appointment...Eek! :o Those 3 days since I last posted went by so fast! :(
 
pianimo I hope things are settling down a bit now.

Kitkat good luck :clover::clover::clover: for your appointment :butterfly:
 
Thought it was time for another update. The toothache has now been gone for a few days, which is a great relief. :cheer: The tooth is still sensitive - I still can't bite down on it or eat on that side - but the pain is gone. I have then had trouble with my sinuses all week, almost entirely on that side, and I don't know whether that's connected or not? :dunno: It started as the toothache was lessening, so for a few days the two pains kind of blurred into one. Now any 'toothache' I'm having is throbbing across the whole of that side of my face and is definitely sinus related. I even had a bit of earache. I don't have a bug or anything though; I do get sinusitis and sinus headaches but not normally for this long or only on one side, so it's a bit odd. Anyway, it's been a bit better today, so hopefully some day soon I will actually be completely pain free! Any ideas how long I should expect it to take to be able to eat on that side again?

I'm still in a muddle about my dentist and how I feel and whether I 'should' feel that way or not etc, but at least I'm back at work now and too busy to spend much time thinking about! I was looking on the NHS choices website today to help a friend find a dentist (I recommended D1 as the only dentist I vaguely know who's actually in my town, but wanted to check the reviews just in case as I only met her once, and also check whether or not they're taking on NHS patients). Anyway, I found myself looking at my current practice's reviews, and they are almost all positive, though I don't know which dentists they are talking about. Lots of people with happy sedation experiences. I actually got quite upset reading them but don't really know why. :cry: :confused:

I did randomly remember something I forgot to mention before - I didn't have my blood pressure taken or anything this time (definitely not before treatment started anyway, I suppose it's possible they took it in the middle some time and I can't remember!), which I think I always have before? Just a random thing but I wonder why he didn't do it and whether he was supposed to.

I was also talking to my mum a bit about how I feel about D5 and she said I could always say I'd prefer a female dentist as a way to see someone else. I do always prefer a female doctor and I am generally more comfortable with females in these kind of situations, but then I was happy enough with D4 by the end so I suppose it's not strictly true. But it maybe gives me an 'out' if I feel I can't stay with him but don't want to have to explain why, so at least I have the option there.

kitkat, I'm a bit confused about time differences and so on but I think your appointment may be today? (Well, yesterday for us now, but I mean Friday!) If so, hope it's goes really well. Or went, if I've missed it! Let us know how you got on. :friends:
 
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I did have my appointment and just typed up a very long post about it on my thread but DFC glitched and I lost the whole thing! :mad:I will retype it later when I have more energy.

Anyways, in short...no cavities :innocent: BUT she put 6 teeth on watch! :o She also said that I am suddenly losing a lot of my enamel (particularly on the back of the lower bottom front teeth) and in between a couple back teeth but I have no idea why because I have not changed anything that I am doing! :confused: She basically warned me that if I can't get it to stop soon that I have 6 fillings in my very near future and the thought of a filling on my lower bottom front teeth completely terrifies me :shame: so I need to figure something out and quickly. :hmm:

I only got super anxious in the waiting room this time though! :jump:I did not care for the hygienist I had...she made me feel sort of rushed initially but did okay with the cleaning and didn't hurt me. I sat in the chair, she asked if anything in my mouth was hurting and immediately reclined the chair and got to work...:(. No small talk or time to adjust but I did alright anyway. I have had her before and that's kind of just how she is so I didn't have high expectations but a bit of small talk would have been nice.

Luckily my dentist was the complete opposite and super chatty/friendly/endearing and really put me at ease for the second half of the appointment. My dentist was actually a bit rougher than what I am used to with the scaling process but it seems like every time I see her she is just a bit less gentle than the time before and my teeth/gums have been quite sore since :(. Part of me thinks she used to hold back on the scaling when I appeared more terrified as not to scare me off and now since I appear more at ease she is more thorough although I have no proof of this :hmm: . I never got that panicky, tense, claustrophobic, heart-pounding feeling I used to always get though where I had to use self-talk to keep myself calm so I guess that's progress. Even when she first started (when my anxiety normally spikes) I was totally calm about everything. She also reminded me that I was in control and could stop her at anytime if I was uncomfortable prior to her doing anything which always helps me. Also either I am getting more relaxed or she's getting sneakier because she has a bad habit of reclining the chair without warning and usually it always startles me but this time I honestly didn't notice til I was already reclined and wondering how I got there! :rolleyes:
 
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So....I've not updated this for a while. Work has been been crazy and I've been incredibly busy. I've also had persistent, worsening low mood and emotional-ness, which I've been hoping was SAD (because that would mean an end in sight!), but the sun's been out this Easter and yet there's been no signs of abating, so maybe not! :( Anyway, between the stress and the depression my dental hygiene has been very poor - the worst it's been since I came back to the dentist/joined DFC. Apart from the usual results of that, I'm now pretty sure I have gingivitus. :o :( I am petrified of the consequences of not taking care of my teeth properly, and I feel disgusting, and yet trying to make myself clean my teeth is sometimes just impossible. I hate being like this, and feel ashamed and stupid and so annoyed with myself, but most of the time I just don't know how to fight it. :cry:

I have my 6 monthly hygiene appointment tomorrow (Monday). I have come close to cancelling a few times but I am making myself go so that I can get my teeth cleaned up and try to have a fresh start with keeping up with things at home. I am very nervous about going - for all the usual reasons, plus I'm not fully comfortable with her (H4) and I'm ashamed to let her see the state of my mouth. I don't know how to explain to her why I'm not doing what I know I need to do. I'm also worried about what she'll record about me because I don't want D5 to know how bad my mouth is, as I'm still kind of scared of him and afraid of being told off by him. My check-up with him is in a couple of months. Tbh I don't really ever want to see him again, but I don't feel like I have an option really, so I'll just have to go and hope he doesn't say/do anything that upsets me - and hope I don't need any more treatment!

Huh, I feel this post is rather showing my outlook on life atm! I'm feeling particularly emotional today as well, and I suspect it's highly likely I'll cry tomorrow. Sigh. At least this time tomorrow it will be over! :cheer::cheer:

By way of finishing the story from what happened with my RCT, some time after I last posted I had an email from R checking whether I was ok and still recovering etc, which I thought was really nice. She's the one person I feel happy with there. Anyway, it took over a month before I could bite down normally on that side of my mouth (no pain, just uncomfortable to put pressure on), but eventually it did settle down and has been fine since. I told R at the time that I was still eating on one side, and she said she'd let D5 know and tell me if he thought he needed to see me, and she never got back to me so presumably he was happy that it was normal.

Well, I need to get some more work done and try to get some sleep. Hope everyone is doing well. Kitkat I'm sorry I never replied to your post. :redface: Hope you found an answer to the enamel loss and haven't needed any fillings!
 
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