• Dental Phobia Support

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Here we go again...

Well, I haven't updated this in sometime and I don't whether anyone will actually still be reading it, but thought I'd update just in case!

All things dental have rather been pushed to the back of the priority list due to various other things going on, particularly with my job. I have been at the point of considering just stopping and doing something different - I don't want to as I do actually love my job, just not all the stress and responsibility that comes with it, and the way it eats into all my free time so I can go a week without ever really switching off from it.

Anyway, I didn't see my hygienist back in April as I cancelled due to illness, then she cancelled the next appointment, and then I cancelled another one due to work! I finally went last month. It was neither a good nor bad appointment really - it felt rushed but I just wanted it over with so I let her rush me and then it was over and I was out. I felt like my teeth were in bad shape, and some of the things she asked the nurse to note down seemed to back that up, but she said they were 'not bad at all'. Maybe she didn't realise I could understand what she was saying to the nurse, or maybe she just sees other people who's teeth were worse than mine! She did say there was some decay/weakness showing on the back teeth and I was to take care to clean well at the back.

During the appointment she said "You're doing well etc"; I didn't feel like she really meant it so much as she was trying to be nice, and I did not feel at relaxed or happy, but I think she is genuinely a nice person and I am not afraid of her and felt safe that she would stop if I needed to, so I just closed my eyes, dug my nails into my hands and waited for it to be over!

I was also overdue for a check up with my dentist but again, work and busyness have got in the way, though it was on the to do list! Then a couple of weeks ago a bit broke off my tooth, which I think is the tooth he did the RCT on, but I can't remember! I knew I needed to go in and have it looked at, but work has been crazy so I was going to wait until things calmed down a bit. I just didn't have the energy to deal with it tbh, even if I had the time - I don't really like D5 or feel comfortable with him and dread going to see him. Then today, more tooth broke off and the resulting hole is pretty large! :o I now definitely know I need to go, but I didn't know whether it counted as an emergency or not, or whether I could wait until Monday.

So, I called the practice as I am a Denplan member and thought there would be an emergency number to call for us, but there isn't! So I called Denplan and they said they could contact my dentist for me and see if he would do a call-out, but also recommended another number I could call for advice. I called that number and they said if I'm not in pain it should be safe to leave it until Monday. I feel worried about having such a big hole, and food getting in, and whether/how I'm supposed to brush over it etc, but I don't want to get a dentist out over the weekend if it's not actually urgent, not mention I have the worry of not really wanting to see D5 but also not wanting to have to see a stranger (whether from the practice or somewhere else). So I guess I will just have to wait it out and hope for the best.

Once this is sorted, I am considering a couple of options. Firstly whether to try a female dentist at the practice and see if I can find someone I feel more comfortable with. The whole point of seeing one of the partners was that I wouldn't have to go through the process of getting comfortable with someone and then having to deal with them leaving and trying to get used to someone new, but if I'm going to be staying with someone but not actually feel happy or comfortable with them then it doesn't seem worth it. Secondly, a colleague recommended a local practice where she's had a really good experience. They have recently changed hands and one of the new dentists offers sedation (previously only one practice in my town did and I didn't like the sound of them from their website). They have a few bad reviews on NHS choices - some from before the new dentists came but a couple since then - which makes me wary, though my colleague is very happy there. It would be nice to have a dentist closer to home, but it's a small practice (just a couple of dentists) so if I liked a dentist and he moved on, I wouldn't have much choice in who to see instead.

Anyway, that's about it. Hello to anyone reading, whether new or old, and I hope my 'old' friends are doing ok. :) Feel free anyone to read / comment/ ignore, whatever you like! ;D And I will try to leave it less than 6 months next time...
 
Hi well it is an old un... here. It is nice to see you on here again. As you know I was really worried about having a lady dentist and one that is young enough to be my daughter as well to boot :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO: She is the best dentist I have ever had. I am so comfortable with her and she is more than capable of doing any work needed.

If you still don't feel comfortable with your dentist then I think it may be time to move on.

Onto another subject, we are nearly up to halloween and snow keeps being mentioned. Every year I get all excited living in hope of it and most years I am let down. So we shall see if we have the mini ice age we have been told is coming.

I hope you can keep the tooth that has broken, and it should be fine until Monday, just rinse well after eating and if there is no pain you should be able to brush it gently too. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::friends:

I hope things calm down for you at work too. :butterfly:
 
Hi Carole! It's lovely to hear from you. :) I am glad to hear you are so happy with your dentist too - after all you've been through with previous ones, you deserve it!

I saw the dentist today and was dreading it but actually I was surprised - he was really lovely to me and I actually felt ok with him, which is odd because he is still the same and the I don't think he particularly acted differently today, but by the end I was all ready just to burst into tears and ask for a cuddle!!! :) o_O :)

I was a bit panicked when he mentioned needing things done, because he was sorting through the tools on his tray at the time and I was kind of half off in a haze due to the nerves so I wasn't taking everything in, then I suddenly came to and though, "What, now?!" :terror: And was all prepared to run away! lol But no, I need to come back twice, once to be prepped for a crown and then to have it fitted. It is the RCT tooth, and he says it will last fine once it's crowned, but it was weak and so this was always likely to happen.

I thought he might put a temporary filling in the hole or something but he said I can just leave it 'holey' for a couple of weeks until I come back. I don't like the thought of that but he's obviously not concerned about it. He just said to brush as normal. I am nervous about the two appointments obviously but I'll be sedated both times, and he says there shouldn't be any pain. He said I wouldn't need LA, which makes me anxious - I know he's right because there should be no nerve left in the tooth, but I will have to make him promise there won't be any pain and he'll stop if there is!!

Anyway, I was honestly all set to move on from him, but I didn't feel at all like I expected to around him today. So we will see how the next two appointments go. He was quite gentle in how he spoke to me, more than I remember him being before, so although he still has that manner of authority which makes me nervous, I felt a lot more safe with him and able to voice my fears without fear of him putting me down. If he is like that during treatment too, I think we will be ok. :) Last time I remember being unhappy and in pain/discomfort and asking him to let me have a break or to take the bite block thingy off, and he said no, and I just felt so powerless and like he didn't care.....I do not want to have another appointment like that!! And definitely I don't want to be in pain and him not listen. But the way he was with me today has given me enough confidence in him to give him another go. So we will see!
 
I am glad your app went well. I wasn't numbed for my crown fitting and it was fine. I was numbed for the shaping of the tooth though because they go just under the gum and that would have been sore on my gums. I a temp crown on after the prep and the week after got the crown.

Good luck :clover::clover::clover:

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::butterfly:
 
Thanks Carole. :)

My first appointment is tomorrow (Tuesday), and I'm petrified! :hidesbehindsofa: He said I 'probably' wouldn't need numbing and there wouldn't be any pain because the tooth has had RCT, which I understand, but I'm just worried that I'll feel pain but not be able to do anything about it because I'll be sedated. I took the 'probably' to mean he doesn't plan to numb me but won't guarantee it won't hurt just in case it does!! :( :rolleyes:

It sounds like you were numbed at your first appointment? Tomorrow he is prepping the tooth and taking impressions (possibly my least favourite thing ever!), leaving a temporary crown on, and then I come back in a couple of weeks to the real one fitted.

As I mentioned before, I've still got an awful lot of work and personal stress in my life atm, and could do without all this tbh (not to mention could do without the rather large bill to pay! :o). I really want to say things to him but don't know how as I still feel so intimidated by him, even though it was a bit better last time. I wish I were one of those people who just says what they want and makes sure they get it, but that's just not me, even outside the dentist. I had thought of writing things down and I probably could have done that with D3 or D4 but with him I just always feel so silly and stupid. He said when I saw him last that we know each other now so we will be ok, but I still don't feel sure of him or safe with him yet. Oh well, think positive: maybe tomorrow will be the day....
 
Oh, and incidentally, the local dentist who my colleague recommended is, shall we say, no longer recommended at all! So that option's out, and I'm glad I never got any further with pursuing that one!
 
I wish I were one of those people who just says what they want and makes sure they get it, but that's just not me, even outside the dentist.

I have the exact same problem! I hope it goes ok for you today, your Dentist sounds very pleasant - it's such a shame they can't read our minds though, it would make things so much easier! :)
 
Hi Pianimo yes I was numbed for my first appointment. Could you ask the dentist to numb you anyway just in case as it would make you feel safer and able to cope better with the appointment. I hope it goes well for you and that you feel okay. I think you will be fine but that is easy for me to say, I know you are worried and will be until the appointment is over. I wish you all the best, let us know how it goes, don't do anything you feel uncomfortable with.

I do think your dentist is a good guy, GOOD LUCK and try not to stress out too much :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::butterfly:
 
Thank you both of you! I thought I had replied here before but I think I must have done that thing where I replied in my head and forgot I hadn't done it for real! :redface: :)

The appointment was....ok. He didn't numb me but I didn't feel any pain. It was uncomfortable at times, especially the cold air on my sensitive teeth, but it was ok; even the impressions were unpleasant but bearable. The sedation did its job! :cloud9: I was wiped out and emotional for a couple of days afterwards, which always happens, but no after pain at all so i was very happy about that! He left me still with a hole in my tooth which I wasn't expecting - no temporary crown just some kind of temporary filling type stuff on the outside (I don't know how to describe it) and, well, a hole!! Also, the stuff around the tooth made it so that I couldn't clean either side of the tooth (i.e. not with floss or a tepe brush) for about a week and a half, and after that I could still only just squeeze the brush down and then it would bleed like crazy afterwards. :( I don't know whether that's normal or not - I was going to email and ask but I've just been so busy and had other things to deal with.

I'm going back today to have the crown fitted. I'm extremely anxious because I am going to the dentist and this is how I get, but the last appointment did create some positive experience because I am hoping again today for no pain during or after. I still don't feel like me and this dentist are a natural fit and I don't yet feel fully safe with him, but I am getting used to him at least so that counts for something.

The1701 - yes it would be so much easier if he could just read my mind.....except for those occasional moments when I'm just thinking "Die, dentist, DIE!" :) :) :) :innocent: Anyway, I will be very glad when today is over and (hopefully) that's it for 6 months!! Here's hoping....
 
Hi the bleeding around the gum is normal I think so anyway. Mine did that when I got the temp crown off and could get to it to brush and floss. It toughens back up pretty quickly and the bleeding will stop. I am saying this again it was a slow burner with my dentist but I am fine now as you know. As long as you get pain free treatment and he is okay with you and doesn't make you feel uncomfortable then I think you are onto a winner.

I hope your app went well, I am sure you will update us :butterfly:
 
Well, it's been a long time since I've been back here. Thought I'd update, in case anyone is still following!

I will try to go for the short version (for once! :)). So, this is what's been going on over the past couple of years:

- I decided I wasn't happy with D5 (my dentist the last time I posted), and asked whether I might be able to try a different, preferably female dentist (I did like D4, who was male, but in general I tend to be more comfortable with female medical/dental people). I was nervous about asking, but they were fine about it.

- They, by the way, is now R2, as my beloved R (receptionist), who was the only thing keeping me at the practice (P3) at one point, moved on. :cry: R2 I know but I'd always found a bit unapproachable, but although I don't feel comfortable with her as I did with R, I have got used to her a bit and she has generally been very nice to me.

- She suggested D6, who is a female partner at the practice. I met with her and immediately felt so much more safe and comfortable with her than I ever had with D5. I don't feel intimidated, as I had with him, and therefore I am much more able to speak up for myself and ask questions etc.

- So, that left me happy with D6, and sort of ok with H4 (hygienist) and R2. I could handle that. :)

- Then I found out I need treatment - just a small filling. Booked an appointment with sedation - so far, so good. Then I saw the bill... :scared: I can't believe how much sedation now costs, for just a really short appointment. It is almost three times higher then when i first went to P3, in 2011. Obviously I know costs go up, but the sedation costs have risen at a much greater rate than the treatment/material costs.

- I agreed to the treatment as I don't feel I have a choice, but once that's over, I'm then at a point of (extremely reluctantly) having to try to find P4 and D7. :cry:

- All I want is to find a dentist, hygienist and practice where I feel safe and comfortable, and to stay there. Instead, I've been through three practices, six dentists and four hygienists in seven years, and now probably have to go in search of new ones yet again. I don't have the time or the energy to look for anyone new, but I have had a quick check of prices, and from being an average/affordable practice when I joined P3, they are now one of the most expensive locally. And I think it's just gone a step too far.

- There are now more practices in my area offering sedation than there were when I was searching 6 years ago, so that is a positive. I actually have options! But choosing one, finding the right person - it all seems like such a mammoth task, and such a gamble - what if I think they're lovely and they turn out to be horrible?! I don't want to have to go through all this again. But I can't escape the fact that all the other practices I've looked at (except P2, which is still the most expensive in the area) are cheaper than P3.

- So, that's what I have to look forward to in the new year: dental treatment, and then trying to find a new dentist. Happy new year (!) :rolleyes:

Hope anyone reading this is well and things have been going ok since I last checked in.
 
I wish I had great words of wisdom for you . Tomorrow I will go to my 5th dentist visit in my 50 years of life and 2 have been in the last 3 wks. I can offer you Prayer,....I’ll Pray for you tomorrow for your appointment and please Pray for me tomorrow for my appointment !!!
 
Hi Pianimo it is nice to pop on here and see you back. Dentist stuff sucks but we need it. Good look with your search in the New Year :clover:

MERRY CHRISTMAS :xmastree::plays::snow::butterfly:
 
I wish I had great words of wisdom for you . Tomorrow I will go to my 5th dentist visit in my 50 years of life and 2 have been in the last 3 wks. I can offer you Prayer,....I’ll Pray for you tomorrow for your appointment and please Pray for me tomorrow for my appointment !!!
Hi ScaredStiff - thank you for replying (and for praying!), and hope your appointment went ok.
 
Hi Pianimo it is nice to pop on here and see you back. Dentist stuff sucks but we need it. Good look with your search in the New Year :clover:

MERRY CHRISTMAS :xmastree::plays::snow::butterfly:

Thank you Carole! I have my filling to get sorted in January, then I will start looking around. Hope all is well with you! :)
 
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