• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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Hit the panic button and there's still a week to go

Thanks Carole, yes you are dead right, as I said earlier I almost expect that the dentist should practically be able to read my mind.

Yes it was good of him to make a point of telling me that he had read the email, my main panic over it was that I had said something to put him off treating me - they do have the right to refuse to take on a patient and there is a massive stigma around PTSD so I was worried he was going to come back and say I would be too much bother or something. I know it may sound daft but I've had a lot of rejections/knock backs that I just automatically expect them these days. I can't begin to tell you how relieved I was when he did reply, I must have read the reply about 20 times over looking for the bit where he was saying "go away" but there wasn't even a hint of it. There is admittedly more I should have told him but after spending 3 hours with my heart in my mouth I don't feel like putting myself through it again.

I am gradually getting better at saying things - like at the second appointment when I told him about the hearing loss which he handled like a true champ, he just shrugged his shoulders and said, "fine, let's stick with the lower right side then."

I know fine well I am probably his worst nightmare at times and I am trying to help him but it is very difficult when you are afraid of what the reaction will be. It doesn't help being typically British either as Tink has pointed out with the TV show link above.

Tink - love the TV show, it is so very true, and there really is no other society quite as backward in coming forward than the Brits. :ROFLMAO:
I agree with everything you have said and I like others on here are very good at giving advice BUT do I always follow it, nooooooooooooooo. I have got better but I am too much typically british, stiff upper lip and all that. I get so annoyed at myself all the time, I see doctors and dentists etc... before I go I think I will say this and remember to say that but I come away and chew things over in my head kicking myself for forgetting what the heck I originally went for in the first place.

So I understand where you are coming from and I should at times follow my own advice. I have found that making a list to fall back on helps me when I do it.

I have been extremely lucky that my dentist has listened to me but has seen how nervous and afraid I was when I first saw her and has dealt with it wonderfully with not a lot of input from me.

I think all you need with your dentist is time, I think they have a wonderful attitude to every problem you have told them about and taken it in their stride, I think your dentist will turn out to be the best thing since sliced bread for you. I think very quickly you will trust them.

All the best to you :butterfly:
Not sure what time your appointment is tomorrow, but I tend to get up late so I'm getting this in now: good luck!! We'll all be rooting for you :clover:
Thanks, x. My appt is not till last thing today so I've still got a whole shift at work to get through o_O

I know everyone says it's best to go in first thing but it wouldn't work for me as I would need a half day off to cover the time also I prefer to go somewhere pleasant and chill out afterwards (it can take while for the anxiety to settle so work would be the last place I'd want to be!). If i went first thing every appt for me would mean an entire day off my holiday allowance. Besides work keeps me busy and therefore I don't get too worked up until I get on the bus.
Hey All, no success story yet as there are still a few hours to go till the appointment but I thought I would stop in to share this with you as I thought it might give everyone here a wee lift.

I knew there was a note in the envelope my Grandad gave me years ago but I have never had the courage to read it, I had planned to read it quietly on the bus on my way to the appointment but then realised it may lead to yet more public crying and another emergency clean up so I came out of work for my lunch break to read it. I did blub as I thought I would but this was also tucked inside it and I thought it might cheer everyone up if they read it too so here it is; I hope it helps.

On a lighter note there was extra money with an instruction to "use the extra tae treat yersel to a wee dram when it's all over" which made me giggle and I will of course do as I am bid......

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It's done. I can barely type for shaking and can barely see through the tears but it's done. I was a wreck, they were brilliant and now I'm off for my wee dram. Will post something more comprehensible later but I think medals are due all round today.
I love it, what a lovely grandad you have.

Congratulations :cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer2::dance::dance::dance2::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::yayy::yay::yay::yay::claps::claps::claps::claps::claps::perfect::wow::wow::wow:No medals but plenty of these little fella's :respect::respect::respect: :cheers::butterfly:
You did it! Well done you! :jump:

Your Grandad sounds awesome, he'd be so proud of you.

Now go wear your medal, enjoy your dram and drink a toast to him! Slainte!
Thanks both, I'm not going to deny that it was really tough at times but the dentist and his assistant were excellent and trust has definitely been cemented today.

I ended up arriving really early despite getting off the bus a few stops early and walking a bit. I was going to wander about outside for a bit but I was desperate for the loo so went to check in instead. I then got the poem from Grandad out and read it over and over until I had memorised it. As per usual I lost my voice on entering the treatment room although the only thing I had been planning to ask for was a cup of water (there was none in the waiting area).

Getting numbed was fine, a wee bit of a nip from the needle but nothing major and the assistant stroked my arm as it went in which had a very calming effect on me.

The dentist checked I was numb before starting with any tools which was good. I had expected that the noise of metal on my teeth would have triggered a flashback and I was prepared for it but it didn't so removing the old filling went fairly well.

Not sure at what point in the process I did have my flakey moment but at some point my chest started to hurt, not because of anything they were doing though, it was my own fault for not breathing properly (I tend to stop breathing altogether when anxious rather than hyperventilating). Unfortunately the pain and the situation I was in triggered a flashback but it was different this time as I was aware it was just a memory and I just about managed to hold on until the dentist had finished that stage. I think he must have known I was suffering as he let me sit up for a bit after that and the assistant offered me some water which was very gratefully received. I was much calmer after the breather, mainly because there was no pressure to "get on with it" and we had got to the final stage so the finish line was in sight.

I had a proper wobbly moment at the end, much worse than I expected actually. I knew that when I saw the repaired tooth for the first time I would be emotional but I was totally overwhelmed, it looks sooooo different - like a normal tooth and not the train wreck it was. I also got really light headed when I tried to stand up but thankfully they were really great and let me sit for a few minutes which was so good of them. We also had a wee chat about how it had gone and what the next steps are in the treatment plan which made me feel a lot better too.

The tears didn't actually start proper until I went to pay. I got the money from my Grandad out and started flooding the place with tears, the receptionist must think I'm a right tight fisted person now given that I cried when parting with money! It certainly wasn't the case though; I think it was the simple fact that I had finally made good on my promise but I can't show him how well it turned out that made me blub so badly.

On the plus side the fates were on my side with respect to the buses as one turned up almost immediately after I left which took me straight to my favourite pub for whisky and I had my dram accompanied by another blubbing session.

All in all it was psychologically tough but physically pain free and I think that the rest of the treatment plan will be a lot easier now that I have got through today in one piece. I'm also a lot more comfortable with the dentist now following our chat at the end, that was very worthwhile and the fact that there was no pressure to leave made me feel a whole lot better.

I will get around to posting an "after" picture soon, too tired and worn out to sort it tonight. It does look amazing though - it really is going to change things for me.

Thanks for all your support and for listening to my wobblies, it has been a massive help to have somewhere safe to vent every now and again. I just hope I can help others now.
Yay! You rock! Can't wait for the picture :)
You know I think this story of you and your tooth and your Grandad might be one of the most moving I've ever seen on here. I'm so, so pleased you got there!
Awwwwww:grouphug: thank you Tink

Coming up next is the promised before and after which I had to get done this morning as everyone in the pub is demanding to see what it looked like before as they couldn't even tell which tooth had been repaired (it is that good a job!)

So if anyone is squeamish about the train wreck tooth image look away now.
Here it is - "before" and "after" I had to produce this double quick as I was telling people about the wonderful job done by my dentist so they all demanded to see the "before" image for comparison so I took it along this evening after work and they are all mighty impressed. So much so that one of my fellow drinking companions (who has given me permission to mention him as "Mr Pink") asked if he thought my dentist could help him out despite the fact he hasn't been to a dentist in 40 years and has only about 8 teeth left. I gave him the business card for my dentist and wrote the address for this website on the back of it so "Mr Pink" if you are reading this then yes, this is "Geek Girl" and I hope you call the number I gave you as it's never too late.

Anyway here is the picture of the "train wreck" of a tooth (the full story of its origins is further back in this thread if you are interested) before and now.

So, drum roll...................


I have to say I am VERY impressed, I look like I have a whole new tooth and it has made a massive difference - not just aesthetics wise but it also feels better in my mouth. The jagged edges would catch on the inside of my mouth and I would avoid chewing on that side in case food got stuck on it as it was a heck of a job to get it cleaned.

All in all I am very happy with it and glad I made a monumental effort to get it done.
Wow, well done you in going and getting it done :welldone: :jump::jump:;D

The repair looks amazing, I have to say from what you have posted it sounds like you have a great dentist!!!

i bet you feel on top of the world now it's all over, enjoy a drink on me!!
Wow, that really does look like a whole new tooth! It looks amazing! Well done, you must be SO happy to have that out of the way, and to have gotten rid of that big cloud hanging over you. Well done for getting the treatment too. You were really brave. I hope you've given yourself a massive pat on the back. It's a HUGE accomplishment. :jump:
Congratulations and well done from me too :cheer::cheer::cheer::dance2::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::yayy::perfect::perfect::perfect::whirl::respect::respect::respect::butterfly:
Wow, it looks great! Sitting here looking at the photos with a big daft grin on my face ;D
Thanks everyone, it is a pretty amazing bit of dental work isn't it. Even my plain-speaking friend said last night that she had originally thought I was bring ripped off when told her how much it would cost but after seeing the "before/after" picture she admits I've had my money's worth.

I am so pleased I got through it and I am proud of myself for sticking with the appointment. I did spend most of yesterday feeling like I'd been through the wringer but I think that was mainly the adrenaline leaving my system, certainly not had any pain and I feel much more refreshed today.

It's made a huge difference already as I've gone from covering the bathroom mirror with a towel so I don't see myself to doing impersonations of the character Joey from "Friends" to my own reflection this morning. Unfortunately the other half walked in on me and just about peed himself laughing at me :redface:
:) Ah well, at least he was already in the right place for it!

And yes, you should be proud of yourself!

My dentist has lots of original art in his clinic, and I made the mistake of mentioning that to a couple of friends on occasion. "You're being ripped off!" or "You're just paying for the art you know!" are common responses…but it's really, really not the case! I couldn't give two hoots if it has original art or not, as long as it's clean and comfortable. I'll pay a lot of money to see somebody that will take the time to help me through it and has the skills to actually make the anaesthetic work* though!

(* for me this is not a simple task, and it took me about 15 years and at least 4 dentists to find one who could. I don't give a s**t if he wants to spend the money he makes on art, I have much more important things to worry about.)
To be honest, my dentist isn't the cheapest (he isn't the most expensive either by a long way) but I cannot put a price on the confidence that he gives to me in his ability to sort pretty much any dental dilemma I might have, quickly, effectively and painlessly with an amazing end result cosmetically that doesn't need re-doing once he's fixed it.

he was about £20 more expensive than my previous practice but he spent a full hour making sure that what he did was perfect, matched and glazed so it's almost impossible to see the restoration, the other place quoted me £20 less but wanted to do the same work in half the time so one can only imagine what the end result would be like so on balance I feel I get value for money and I simply cannot put a price on not being triggered back to a full blown dental phobia again.