- May 2, 2021
- Dallas, Texas
When I was a child, I didn’t really understand just how important it was to take care of your teeth and I didn’t understand that everything you eat affects them. I didn’t understand the consequences of not taking extreme care of them. I brushed, but not as well as I should’ve. Combine that with lots of sugar in my diet and rarely going to the dentist, at 16 I had to get fillings in nearly every tooth. After this, I began to care for my teeth as much as I could. I have amazing oral hygiene now. However, here I am at 19, with a healthy diet and lifestyle, and I’m suffering with GERD that could ruin all the effort I’ve made to take care of my teeth. Not only that, I’ve learned that having as many fillings as Ive had is pretty much a sign that I’ll need dentures sometime in the future. I’m depressed. Ashamed. My youth is being wasted away as I lay in bed and cry about my teeth. Where did it all go wrong? I never meant for this to happen. I’ve corrected my mistakes. I do the best for my teeth now. So why is this happening to me? I’ve tried to forgive my younger self for the hygiene mistakes because I just didn’t know and understand. But I wish more than anything I would’ve taken better care of myself because I’ll probably be in dentures by 30 and my face may cave in and I’ll just be even more repulsive than I am now. I don’t understand why I’m here. I don’t understand how everyone I see has perfect teeth and I’ve been given these hardships for something that should be so simple to take care of. If anything, I feel saddened mostly for my younger self. She was so full of dreams and hopes and the fact that I know now none of that will ever happen makes me sad for her. She had no idea what was ahead. She had no idea about all the pain and suffering and days wasted away crying alone. I don’t know anymore. This world is cruel. I’m destined to be toothless and lonely and sad. I give up.