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How do I call an ask a dentist to talk about a treatment plan without offending, when I already am schedule for treatment in 2 weeks

C

Censeen

Junior member
Joined
Feb 26, 2024
Messages
11
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Usa
Went to new dentist 2 weeks ago after not going for 7 years, told me I have 7 cavities, spoke with hygienist mainly, spoke with the dentist for only 2 minutes the entire duration of my appointment

Dentist left the the room and motioned for me that appointment was over, I leave to walk out and the Receptionist handed me a paper with treatment plan and date for said appointment, and I left.

I’m not going to talk about all my concerns with him the day of if that’s what he’s thinking..

How do I go about scheduling something to address all my concerns? What do I say? I have a retainer that needs to still fit, he needs to show me each tooth he wants to fill, my bite needs to be the same, he doesn’t even know one of the tooth is glued back on from when I was baby, and various other things

Now I have this appointment to go get 4 fillings done in 2 weeks without even discussing anything with him.. how do I call and ask to discuss issues and concerns with him? Is this an appointment schedule?

I will be speaking with a receptionist when I call btw
 
I thought I posted this earlier but maybe I messed something up, am new here

help on my situation not sure how to call and what to say
 
@Censeen I would say what you have posted here, pretty much. That you only had a couple minutes to speak to the dentist, and want to discuss your concerns with him personally before moving forward with the treatment plan. If I got a negative reception to my request, and/or wasn't offered a satisfactory opportunity to talk to the dentist, I would find a different dentist.
 
@Censeen that sounds like an extremely impersonal dental office :(... do you have any chance of switching dentists? Choosing a dentist is a huge step, especially for anyone with a fear or phobia, and (to me at least) a trusting relationship is so important.

P.S. we have some tips for finding and choosing a dentist here:


 
Where was this? I've had similar experiences on the NHS, but privately the initial consultation has been 45 minutes to an hour (I'd almost rather there was something in the middle, cost wise certainly..!).

Either way, do you even want to go back? It's generous of you to give them a second chance, unless you've little choice, but it's quite bothersome to treat you like that... Did he even give you a chance to ask questions? I know I've left appointments and had multiple things I forgot/should've said/asked, but this sounds like he was short of time rather than anything else?

Everything you've mentioned is perfectly reasonable, personally I'd be uncomfortable with him starting work without proper discussions first.
 
@NervousUSA @NervousUSA @Nicci

It was a private dentist in the usa, not a chain dentist

and Not really. The most he’s said was yeah we have some cavities to fill

I didn’t really know much about cavities at the time

I expected he would talk more about filling them next appointment or something but instead I was given a sheet with the plan and schedule date when I was leaving out the door and making next appointment

The X-ray high res screen was right infront my face the entire time but I didn’t know how to look at X-rays at that time (I do now)

And yes I have the low quality X-ray pics(I made sure to ask for them)

Total time spent with the actual dentist was like 10 mins (like 5 mins looking in my mouth, and 2 mins in the room and 2 mins actually talking to me)

I also remember him saying you’re lucky you don’t need a root canal or something.

Maybe some of this is my fault for not asking, I was more concerned with wear and tear from Bruxism so I asked more questions regarding that.. so he just said let’s worry about filling the cavities first

but I knew nothing about cavities or fillings or what that entailed 2 weeks ago
 
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This sounds awful, it makes me upset to read how you were treated. There is a thing called informed consent which means that it's your right to get all information you need to decide whether you would like to do the treatment there. So if you decide to stick with this dentist (and I'd want to find another practice, as @letsconnect suggested), it would be perfectly fine to call them and tell them you wished an appointment with the dentist to discuss your concerns and questions as the time last time was not sufficient. This would be a normal reasonable request. Reading about how you were treated I could imagine them telling something like "you can discuss those when you come in for the procedure" in which case I'd still want to have a separate appointment to decide whether I'd stick with them in the first place.

It's so important to have a good relationship, otherwise you may be able to get those fillings but will have troubles coming back regularly.
 
@Enarete thanks for the replies guys. I wouldn’t say they were rude they were pretty nice just the dentist didn’t talk with me about the plan and they were pushy as hell. Also they would word play with a lot of things but not answer questions when I talked on the phone for something else(I called before I went and wanted molds before cleaning incase they broke my permanent retainer, because I didn’t want to lose my bite from braces from 10 years ago, and the receptionist didn’t answer directly but basically said they wouldn’t do that, with word play )


“you can discuss those when you come in for the procedure"

I have a feeling I might get that response too. If I get that response do you think I should say I will just wait for my 6 month check up for new X-rays to see if the cavities progressed and cancel the filling appointment? (since they already have me scheduled for fillings and a 6 month cleaning).

I refuse to go there for any thing other than to talk with the dentist and discuss.. I don’t want to be talked into the day of without thinking on it for a a while

Here’s a thread with my bite wing X-rays and plan as well with pics and more info if you need:

 
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@Censeen it just might be time to find a new dentist that cares enough to explain everything to you. Don't waste your time with someone who is dismissive. This happened to me and I got a second opinion and couldnt be happier. Please don't accept sub par service! You deserve to feel comfortable and have adequate time to discuss your plan and share your history. Good luck. Find someone who has the time to see you. 😊
 
“you can discuss those when you come in for the procedure"

I have a feeling I might get that response too. If I get that response do you think I should say I will just wait for my 6 month check up for new X-rays to see if the cavities progressed and cancel the filling appointment? (since they already have me scheduled for fillings and a 6 month cleaning).

I refuse to go there for any thing other than to talk with the dentist and discuss.. I don’t want to be talked into the day of without thinking on it for a a while

This is entirely up to you. If you feel like you need an appointment only to discuss your concern and have to keep it separate from the treatment to be able to think calmly and decide how you would like to proceed, that's a fair reason and you could say them exactly that.

If having a cleaning and the chat about the fillings at the same day is okay, then that would be an option as well.

And remember - if you get overwhelmed during the call at any point, you can always just tell them that you need to think about (whatever reply they gave you) and will call them back. No pressure here. It's all about your needs and preferences and how you'd like your treatment to go :)
 
Update: I called and I kinda got word games again but managed to push my appointment back to the 13th and only fill the 1 bad tooth instead of the other 3 lesser ones..

But still she was like you can bring you’re retainer in when you come in. Really word played her way around actually speaking with the dentist about my concerns.. idk what to do now on one hand they said they could just fill the bad 1 but on the other hand I keep getting word played around not being able to talk with the dentist on a separate date about all my concerns.. not sure if wanting that is unreasonable
 
@Censeen It is perfectly reasonable to want to talk things over properly with the dentist before having anything done. This dentist seems unusally unwilling to talk to patients, I haven't had one like this before. If this were me I would go meet another dentist or two before proceeding with this one, and find someone more communicative and less dismissive.
 
I second @NervousUSA on wanting information being perfectly reasonable. If you'd like to read more on informed consent and how you are ethically and by law entitled to get proper information before making a decision whether you'd like to proceed with the treatment, look here. It's code of ethics of American Medical Association explaining what a doctor is required to do.

Now I know that in some busy practices doctors may try to get too effective and the idea of sitting with a patient and just talking about concerns is not in. I suspect that the word games was the receptionist not being allowed to just book you in for a chat because the practice maybe doesn't do that. At the same time she can't say anything concrete to your concerns because she is not a dentist. You've probably picked upon that vibe.
 
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