How do i explain to my dentist that the way he spoke to me really upset me?

[livemusic4life]

Last week i went to the dentist. It was my first time visiting this dentist as i normally go to another dentist in the same surgery. Before he'd even looked in my mouth i explained that i have a terrible fear and that i am sensitive to gagging. That i was very nervous and that if i indicated him to stop, then he would need to stop pretty quickly.
Anyway drill and water going, and i think i'm going to gag, so i put my hand up. But he didn't stop quick enough so i sat up (yes i know dangerous but it was panic) He went completely mental. Started shouting at me "jesus christ" threw his tools on the tray and walked out. I was crying hysterically. It took me 10 minutes to calm down and that was only because the dental nurse was a star and kept talking to me calming me down.
I have to go back to see this dentist tomorrow and i really DON'T want to go. In fact i'm feeling physically ill right now thinking about it. I want to tell him that his attitude certainly didn't help to reduce my phobia of dentists. And that i would like to take my dental records with me when i leave so that i can find another dentist. But i'm not sure how that will come across. I'm not sure how to tell him how he made me feel because i do not want to get upset and cry again.
Can anyone give me some advice? Please

 

[terrified_in_Toronto]

Re: How do i explain to my dentist that the way he spoke to me really upset me?

In my opinion, the dentist, any dentist, is working for you. So, you have every right to tell him exactly how you feel... especially after his terribly unprofessional behaviour. Obviously, be polite when you speak but also be direct.

If after talking to him he doesn't respond in a way that is satisfactory to you, get your dental records (yes they're yours so you have every right to them) and find a dentist who accommodates your fear.

Going to the dentist is difficult enough... you shouldn't have to endure one who has the chairside manner of "Nurse Ratchet".

 

[GrahamDee]

Re: How do i explain to my dentist that the way he spoke to me really upset me?

He may be called a dentist, but he sounds like a stupid ignorant jerk. (apologies for these words, but I'm incensed by what I've read). Patient respect, welfare and well-being are something which is obviously not his top priority and maybe he wanted to get the work done in a hurry because of a money thing.

Regardless, you have the absolute right to be treated with care, respect and dignity. Grab your records and find another dentist. You should not have to explain yourself, you have the right to choose and the right to be treated in a professional respectful manner. You are not getting here.

Maybe you can take someone with you for a bit of moral support, better still, complain to the practice and/or the dental authorities.

 

[annie778]

Re: How do i explain to my dentist that the way he spoke to me really upset me?

Everyone is stressed these days..... Perhaps he is the one who needs sedation if he reacts in such an aggressive manner. Suggest that he will have to give you some more tolerance if he wants your treatment to work and that he helps himself to some nitrous oxide if he feels like having another hissy fit.

 

[mrmarzipan76]

Re: How do i explain to my dentist that the way he spoke to me really upset me?

well tell him the truth how u felt it is like going to a dr and not telling him what is wrong with you, as i would say " sir i am paying u to do a service out of trust and what u said made that trust not very high now i would like a ref feral or just say dont let it happen again or u will report him just some ideas cause once a DENTIST gets a bad name it all over specially on hear

 

[April]

Re: How do i explain to my dentist that the way he spoke to me really upset me?

Where is the usual dentist that you go to? you are obviously comfortable with him. If he is on holiday can you wait until he comes back? Tell them at the practice that you do not want to be seen by the other guy, you don't have to explain why. Have you a friend or partner who can go with you for support?

If you are not comfortable request your records and leave, they have no right to upset you or make you feel the way they have.
He is working for YOU, YOU are in control - you wouldn't take your car back to a garage that did a bad job or the staff were rude to you would you!

 

[brit]

Re: How do i explain to my dentist that the way he spoke to me really upset me?

Agree with April - only see your usual dentist..you don't have to go back to that guy ever...I can understand his being worried that he could have injured you because of the way you reacted but even so, he should still have apologised...making a lady patient cry..not very 21st Century. I doubt he wants to see you again anyway as he is probably a bit embarrassed by his unprofessional behaviour.

One of my kids moved suddenly once - they didn't get an aggressive response just a reasonable one.

Sounds like you'd benefit from the dental button...anywhere near Lincoln Hirst or Mike Gow? Or even dentisign lol!

 

[livemusic4life]

Re: How do i explain to my dentist that the way he spoke to me really upset me?

Well i went back this morning after spending all night tossing and turning contemplating cancelling my appointment. I was sweating buckets in the waiting room before i went in.
I waited til he'd finished the check up, waited for the nurse to leave and i just said to him that last week he had upset me, that it possibly wasn't intentional but that i was in a very vulnerable position when i'm in that chair. That if he reacts calmly to situations, then i'll be much more comfortable. I asked him if he had issues dealing with nervous patients and that i thought it would be a good idea if we just didn't deal with each other again as i really need a very patient and understanding dentist.

It was all said very calmly and i've told the receptionist that for my next visit that i'd like to have an appointment with my usual dentist as myself and this dentist weren't suited to each other.

I'm very glad that i broached the subject, i'm glad that i didn't back out. Okay the guy probably thinks i'm a bit of a jerk but i don't care. Me being comfortable is much more important.

Thanks for all the advice people it really helped, and i have to say that i feel much stronger today as i feel i've got some control. Does that even make sense?

 

[brit]

Re: How do i explain to my dentist that the way he spoke to me really upset me?

How 'unnecessarily' brave of you but what was his reply? Kudos for that degree of assertion. Was he worthy of your taking the time to bear your soul..he's the unprofessional one from where I'm sitting. You're the patient you are entitled to act up (within reason), he isn't.

 

[Razzle3]

Re: How do i explain to my dentist that the way he spoke to me really upset me?

To you for taking a stand. I completely agree with everyone else who has said, you did not need to explain yourself to this jerk at all. He ought to be apologizing to you! I wish you all the best with a dentist, worthy of being called your dentist!

 

[losinmuhteefs]

Re: How do i explain to my dentist that the way he spoke to me really upset me?

Find another dentist...and stop thinking about what happened!
Dentist's only make $800 an hour, with a 400% markup on materials from dental labs. So if he can't deal with the stress of a simple nervous patient... he deserves to lose you as a patient, and possibly step down from his position to one he can handle making the money he deserves, like Wal-Mart greeter. No offense to anyone is intended, just a little bit of truth might help you put things in perspective is all. We stand with you!

Stay strong!

 

[mrmarzipan76]

Re: How do i explain to my dentist that the way he spoke to me really upset me?

good 4 u for speaking up salute

 

[sudzs]

Re: How do i explain to my dentist that the way he spoke to me really upset me?

Agree with the other posters livemusic, good for you for speaking out. I went to a new dentist recently, and althought it no way compares to what you went through, I asked him if a tooth (molar) I was worried about was cracked. His response was a really impatient "look, ALL your teeth are cracked"

Put me right off. Have an appointment for next week but think I might rethink. Although I can now bring myself to actually sit in the chair for treatment, I don't think I could sit there to be worked on by someone who seemed to have a little bit of disdain towards my poor old battered heavily filled teeth.