C
ConcernedDaughter
Junior member
- Joined
- May 6, 2024
- Messages
- 1
- Location
- Europe
Hello,
My mother is in her sixties and she had rotten teeth for most of her life, for at least 35 years her teeth are in very bad state. They look worse than pictures you can find online… She never goes to dentist and I think her last dental check up was when still in school.
She is generally very averse of doctors, only goes if she has no other choice. A couple of years ago she had medical check up for work and her sedimentation rate was high. At home she said “oh thats nothing, I always have that”, so I tried to just casually say “it can’t be high from nothing, maybe is something with teeth..”. She became visibly uncomfortable and quickly changed the subject. Never went to follow up visit either, I think she was probably afraid they will send her to fix teeth.
This issue is worrying me more and more, I know infected teeth can be dangerous and I’m sure it can’t be good if body is fighting infection all the time. I’ve read about link with heart disease etc. and I don’t want her to ruin her health.
In every other aspect she is very put together person and very health conscious - she eats healthy, isn’t overweight, doesn’t drink or smoke.
I know that other people were already trying to get her to visit dentist, made appointments for her and offered money but she never went and also started to avoid those people. I never said anything directly because this is very sensitive topic and don’t have an idea how to even start conversation. I can’t just say “hey I noticed your teeth are in very bad state..” But now I’m thinking I should at least try to do something, who will she listen to if not me as I am her daughter and I want her to live long and healthy life..
I feel specially bad about this because I also have fears and phobias that I’ve not adressed and I’m not a great example myself so she might not listen to me for this reason. I’m also aware that getting pulled all remaining teeth out and getting dentures is no fun - and maybe that’s why she is avoiding it. But isn’t that still better than infection.
Do you have any idea how to gently and politely start conversation about this and what to suggest?
My mother is in her sixties and she had rotten teeth for most of her life, for at least 35 years her teeth are in very bad state. They look worse than pictures you can find online… She never goes to dentist and I think her last dental check up was when still in school.
She is generally very averse of doctors, only goes if she has no other choice. A couple of years ago she had medical check up for work and her sedimentation rate was high. At home she said “oh thats nothing, I always have that”, so I tried to just casually say “it can’t be high from nothing, maybe is something with teeth..”. She became visibly uncomfortable and quickly changed the subject. Never went to follow up visit either, I think she was probably afraid they will send her to fix teeth.
This issue is worrying me more and more, I know infected teeth can be dangerous and I’m sure it can’t be good if body is fighting infection all the time. I’ve read about link with heart disease etc. and I don’t want her to ruin her health.
In every other aspect she is very put together person and very health conscious - she eats healthy, isn’t overweight, doesn’t drink or smoke.
I know that other people were already trying to get her to visit dentist, made appointments for her and offered money but she never went and also started to avoid those people. I never said anything directly because this is very sensitive topic and don’t have an idea how to even start conversation. I can’t just say “hey I noticed your teeth are in very bad state..” But now I’m thinking I should at least try to do something, who will she listen to if not me as I am her daughter and I want her to live long and healthy life..
I feel specially bad about this because I also have fears and phobias that I’ve not adressed and I’m not a great example myself so she might not listen to me for this reason. I’m also aware that getting pulled all remaining teeth out and getting dentures is no fun - and maybe that’s why she is avoiding it. But isn’t that still better than infection.
Do you have any idea how to gently and politely start conversation about this and what to suggest?
