• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.



Well-known member
Oct 13, 2022
Ok so onto step 2 or can I call it step 3 in my journey. Appointment for dental fillings (dentist assured me they are very small) cavities. Naturally now that I know there are cavities I've suddenly been having massive pain everywhere which I know makes no sense it's not like they hadn't been there before. I'm freaking out about what if I'm not numb enough what if she doesn't notice me gesturing, what if what if and to add to add to this I haven't eaten due to needing to fast for blood work
@mariyam I have had fillings before and they were painless and fairly quick
@mariyam I have had fillings before and they were painless and fairly quick
Thank you! That's really motivating to hear. I think my anxiety is making this so much worse than it needs to be.
Filling appointment today. Last week I went in for the first time in 17 years to a dentist. Was a feeling particularly brave? *Stands tall at 5'1" then immediately shrinks down* good heavens no. I put in a brave face, the dentist was right there, to greet me at the front desk, she has a small new practice. It reminded me of my aunt's own practice and my cousins and I would sit at the front desk to greet patients.

Part of my dental phobia and procedural phobia is because I had my loving aunt as my dentist my who childhood. I never had to learn to make signals or gestures for discomfort because she knew them all, and I never appreciated it until I met Dr. I'm In a Hurry! And that pretty much sent me fleeing for 17 yrs. One bad experience ruined a half lifetime of pleasant memories and funky fascination. Fast forward to now, I had to go to the dentist. I knew my root canal had failed and wishing really hard it hadn't wasn't going to change that. I also knew I needed a wisdom tooth out, it's putting pressure on the 2nd molar. But all that passively acquired dental knowledge from my aunt has not made the trauma of one horrendous dentist fade. Even now as I tell myself I need to do my "these must get done there is no other way" list I can hear his awful voice and his annoyed sighing. And you know what, it makes me angry. It makes me so angry that even if he isn't there with the tools he's still tooling around in my head! But more than angry, I find myself terrified all over again.

My new dentist is great. She even reminds me of my aunt. I know some people might think she's got a "tone" of the nagging auntie, but I grew up with that tone and now as an adult I miss that sound so much. The sound of "ok it's entirely up to you because I will not force you BUT I am also not telling you to do things you don't need to do, but again I'm not going to force you, that's your job to do, but I'll do whichever option you want and are comfortable with."

The list of MUST DO
-regular deep cleanings
-fillings they are small so don't wait until they get bigger
-wisdom tooth, she doesn't WANT to take it, I saw the x-ray, she NEEDS to take it or I can wait until it really hurts the molar next to it
-root canal, the tooth is dead, I've known this, it's likely caused the NEXT listed issue, why keep the diseased root, THEY HAVE ANESTHESIA, THIS IS 2022, SHE HAS REVIEWS THAT RAVE ABOUT HER PAINLESSNESS, YOU SURVIVED THE DEEP CLEANING WITH JUST THE SWISHY NUMBING STUFF!
-the failed root canal. It's been there for 26 yrs. 26! It's loose! Wishing it to not be loose won't do anything. I need it extracted. I hate that word. It makes me feel, hollow, helpless, completely vulnerable.
-I need a bone graft. You can't NOT have bone where there should be. I need a post and implant. Everyone gets implants , they're like the new thing! How many offices have I driven past that have banners for implants? Surely if those people survived, I can to? Right? PLUS she's already there, doing all the things she has to do. They have anesthesia!

The maybe in the future
-braces, I have gaps, it offsets my bite, but I don't NEED them.

While all those reasons sound very straightforward, I'm still left in a shaking, heaving mess. I'm still crying on and off whenever I have too much quiet time alone.

I've also started obsessing that the tooth that needs extraction, the loose one, is going to just FALL. I know, probably totally unlikely. But I've begun having nightmares over it. I'm sure my mind is going to the worst case scenario as a way to cope with needing fillings.

Despite all my fears, my crying, my inability to eat at times, I am going to try my best, my hardest to keep going forward. I am going to keep looking at the positives, or try to. I will keep reminding myself dentists (generally) are our friends. They have gone to LOTS of school. They just want to help. It is about finding the right dentist. I need to believe that I have found the right one. It's a bit like dating, you can have some great dates and some awful ones. So dentist are like going on a date with my teeth. I had a bad teeth date with one dentist a long time ago. This dentist, the teeth date has gone great so far. I can do this.
About 45 before the appointment now. 15 before I have to start the drive out. It's really only 10 min from my house but I know I'll need to breathe a few times in the parking lot. Keep repeating "I can do this, I can do this, I can do this."
You have a good attitude and sounds like a good dentist. You will do fine. Let us know how things go. You got thi!
Sitting at the dentist lounge now. The lounge resembles my living room so much it's almost hilarious. Well it's a lot less cluttered but it even has the same space heater haha. Dentist is running a little late because she took a break for a patient who was having a hard time and instead of going "ok you wait here NEXT!!!" She stayed with them and talked to them and got them to calm down. You know what you're supposed to do if someone is freaking out, treat them like a person. That was super reassuring so I don't mind waiting. It's giving me a chance to acclimate to the smells, sounds, even lighting. It's awful hot out and I hate summer weather, but now that I know I have time to acclimate I'm breathing better. Still shaky and worried but I don't feel like the walls are closing in like I did earlier on the drive.
Fillings are done. It was her partner dentist who did it. I was unsure at first but she told me she's a lot more experienced than her age makes her look and if at any point I felt any discomfort to just raise my hand, arm, foot, it didn't matter. If she saw me moving any part of me in an upward way she would stop. She seemed confused about needing numbing gel which sent me into wide eyed panic but she said she didn't realize I meant be as numb as can be even just for the preliminary look around and apologized and went and got it. We chatted, I asked her how to properly say her name, why she became a dentist etc until the gel worked it's magic. She asked me if the lights bothered me and I said yes and she said ok close your eyes, I felt a mild coldness and thought ok what IS that and when she said ok you should be more numb I realized to my amazement she had injected the anesthesia! She saw my expression and asked if I was mad she tricked me to not looking and I said no, actually that helped.

My wisdom tooth and frontal tooth extraction is moved to Friday. We had originally planned for a 2 week break but realized it would fall on Halloween and the roads are scary enough on a normal day here without adding the chaos of Halloween, plus I had expressed apprehension at doing it on that day.

The original plan was to do wisdom tooth then 4 weeks later the frontal but I said "can I do both at the same day safely?" Because I couldn't imagine myself going back for round 2 no matter how much convincing I give myself. She said yes, your gums will be less repeatedly traumatized and 2 wisdom teeth are total 30 minutes only local anesthetic like what you had now well much more because it is more invasive than filling but you will not NEED to be asleep or feel out of control. It will be noisy, there will be some discomfort, but I will make sure you are ok. But if you do not want to do that we will do them separately. But remember you will have to go through all the bruising and swelling twice. (like I said before, she is much like my aunt, the gentle nagging of practicality).

I drove home and thought about it. What was holding me back, fear of pain? Both times I have been more than sufficiently numb. I survived the fillings and with a different dentist in her practice doing it (though I'm thinking fillings are really her thing). Would I be able to be brave enough to go twice? I'll already be there, in the chair getting 2 taken out. Would a 3rd really tip me over the edge and I'd go running? Can you even bolt out the door with all that going on? Would I be willing to go through the recovery a second time after the first round? It didn't help that I hadn't eaten. Thinking on an empty stomach isn't great. I got home, told my cat about it. He's a horrible listener, he's a kitten. But he did run off and give me his favorite toy so maybe he's a better listener than I give him credit for.

I decided to book the whole thing for Friday. She asked me twice if I was sure and I said no but I didn't see a real good reason to go through that experience twice. She assured me if I got there Friday and said I change my mind she wouldn't say anything and do exactly what I was prepared to do. The idea is making me have tears and sweats and all kinds of sudden pains but I keep telling myself "I can do this. I HAVE to do this, I don't want to do this twice when I can do it once. I'm not brave enough to do it twice and that is ok."

We worked out that again if I feel panic or pain especially pain HAND SIGNALS or any kind of upward movement will signal PAIN NOW HELP. Any kind of tugging at my shirt would mean panic, need air/words of YOU ARE ALMOST DONE. I get to hold the hooked suction thing, it gives me strange comfort and a sense of controlling something. It also helps them know if I feel like I'm drowning in equipment so that's sort of a bonus?

The cost of it all is an ever present weight. But it's not because of the amount of money itself (which I still find ridiculous in so many ways) but it is another visible tactile reminder that I let things get out of hand. That I let my fear have a strangle hold on me. That I let that one horrible dentist taint all this. And I feel ashamed. Not of my mouth, I'm sure she's seen worse, but I'm ashamed to look at myself knowing that for years I'd counsel people on their anxiety while hiding behind mine. I feel like an imposter walking around in a therapist costume.
I love this thread! Love the humour! Sounds like you have a great dentist who understands your fears. I'd do the whole thing in one day, too. It's hard enough to drag myself to the dentist! It's such a shame that one dentist left you with years of anxiety. I hope this new dentist clears that for you!
@Emily85 Thanks! I try to balance out my extreme anxieties with finding humor. They've been really great. If anyone were to ask me for a dentist in my area I would definitely recommend them.
I just saw this and read the whole thing. I'm glad the fillings went well. Having the three extractions all done at once sounds sensible. It's really awesome you found a dentist so compassionate and responsive. I think mine will be the steamroller type who will just ignore any pleas I might make. Hopefully I will be out of my mind on tranquilizers. If you have a great experience, you can leave a Google review. That would help her and her practice, and also help fellow sufferers find her. Good luck on Friday!
@CarolinaAnne thank you!

I hope even if your dentist is the myopic kind they'll still try to make you comfortable, some patient comfort should be on the focus of any medical professional.

The anxiety really is the worst. You can do it, we can do it, just have to remember to keep our eyes on the step in front and not the whole mountain.

You're rather fortunate to be able to go on tranquilizers, they aren't for me personally. My need to control my environment is too great (I remember my sheer joy at holding the little suction thing because it was something that I could do to assert myself). I always admire people who are able to be on tranquilizers though. It is a different level of fortitude, really it is. I see them from this view: the word tranquilizer has the word tranquil, it's about trusting your environment and level of safety enough that you can allow yourself to feel tranquillity.

I plan on sitting down and typing out reviews for her all over (Yelp, FB, Google, even those find a dentist search sites if they'll let me), it'll have to wait until some days after this appointment. So I can make sure it makes sense and I can be as comprehensive as possible.
Ah @mariyam, you made a journal!

So happy to see you posting about your journey on here in detail. It’s very cathartic isn’t it?

It’s awesome to read about you finding an amazing dentist, who understands your phobia and fear.

I’m so glad that’s happened for you. Hopefully you’ll be able to build on that trust continually, to the point where going to the dentist doesn’t induce panic or apprehension like it does now.
That’s quite the grocery list of things you have going on there! But it’ll move faster than you think once you get the ball rolling (which it seems like you have.)

Ah, dental implants. I was told about them myself but I can’t afford them, and personally, I don’t think they’re for me :) I get way too nervous about the thought of steal posts in my gum/jaw. So I’m just going with removable dentures. Good ‘ol removable. I hope the implant process is seamless for you when you get to it!

Also allow me to assure you, the one that needs extraction will not just fall out of your mouth, I promise. I had mine in there for seven months and they never fell out or did anything once! You’d be surprised how strong teeth actually are LOL

Personally, I’m a fan of getting it all over with at once (or as much as you can) because yeah, from personal experience, it’s so much easier than having looming appointments. I commend you on choosing to do that and getting it all done! I really hope Friday goes smoothly and painlessly and perfectly!

(The cost is always a weight in the mind. And you’ve brought up a really interesting point. About how it can make you feel more shame. But listen, you’re taking care of your teeth now, you’re getting it sorted before it gets even worse. That’s something to commend yourself for! Do not feel shame for finally taking care of your mouth and feeling the courage to face your fear!)
*Hello Anxiety my old friend... I see you've come to torture me again... *

I can do this. *Cue Anxiety creeping in with words of horror*

I have read people's success stories! I've directly chatted the people and they are perfectly alive and well! *Cue more Anxiety creeping in to make me doubt even my breakfast choices now*

I have to do this now, it makes no sense to make it worse or wait for it to be worse. *cue grainy 1800s imagines that literally have no relevance to my current fears but Anxiety has decided why limit yourself to a handful of fears when there is a whole menu out there!*

I have to do this or I could die. There's an infection, AN INFECTION, and it isn't getting better with wishing really hard, those wisdom teeth are hurting us, just because we don't actively feel it doesn't mean they aren't passively hurting us.*the Anxiety settles down.*

If I don't do this now, I might never and then the cycle will not just repeat but it will worsen and there are some really scary consequences to that. *the Anxiety stops the ridiculous barrage of unrelated images in my mind*

Am I scared? Scared does not begin to describe it.

Terrified? Ok that's a closer word.

Of what? The dentist and her co-dentist are great, I can see how skilled they are. It's not my job to worry about all the technical stuff, I'm not a dentist, they are. And I trust them, I really trust them. It is ok to trust someone again. It's ok to be vulnerable, because they aren't out to harm you or scare you or make you feel bad. There are more good dedicated dentists than there are "Dr. I'm in a Hurry" and some days are scarier than others. The deep cleaning went great, the gums are super healthy looking now, the tartar is gone, GONE! Yes there are gaps but when we've got enough saved (who knows when that will be but it will happen) maybe we can get braces. The fillings went great. They are not "Dr. I'm in a Hurry". They work quickly. That is not the same as in a hurry. Anesthesia only lasts so long then it has to get topped off. They work quickly so there is a lower chance of it wearing off, but like with then filling she added a bit more when you said it still hurt.

I'm scared of...of a word? Yes. So do what the dentist suggested, don't think of the word. Call it something else, anything else, call it what it is. Taking away something that doesn't belong. Focus on that. It doesn't belong there. It. Does NOT. Belong.

*But I've had them there an entire adult life!* life does not stop at 36.

*Ah hah! How about the front one!* That has the infection, infections are genuinely bad. Infections spread. It has to come out.

*But the gap!* She's giving us an essix retainer there won't be a gap the teeth won't shift to fill it because they will be retained in place.

*Ooooh what about the recovery pain, the swelling, the bruising, have you heard of dry socket?* So I'll tell anyone who asks that I'm going for the lopsided chipmunk who battled a squirrel for an acorn and won look. Tylenol exists and so does ibuprofen.

*How will you sleep?!* Like how I do when I have a cold, against the pile of pillows.

*Oh how about food, how will you eat!* Soup... It's fall. What a great time to experiment with new soup and broth bases for the season.

I learned to name my various anxieties, Anxiety, like it's a proper living parasite. Because, it is. It's there, with a life of its own, but not in a helpful way, it feeds off what it can and gets stronger or weaker depending on the staple of its diet that day or while it was rooting around in my head at night.
@APhobicQueen I feel so fortunate to have found a dentist that fits and her staff fit. I think they secretly think I'm a little strange, that maybe I giggle too much to BE anxious or that my mechanical understanding of procedures (I never bother to learn proper names of things) is too quick to have a reason to be afraid, but I like that they haven't made me feel particularly strange about it.

The dentist really understands that I don't view her with distrust, it is just the whole situation I find anxiety inducing. She seems to understand that the combination of lights, sounds, smells, and temperature really affect me.

My "E" day is tomorrow. I am oscillating between relief that it is tomorrow so my anxiety doesn't have longer to try and sabotage my gathered from every corner of my psyche bits of bravery and... second guessing myself and my decision to do it all in one day. I know the self doubt is my anxiety trying to win.

I made a list of why I shouldn't do it in one day and what I came up was a list of not a lot of solidly good reasons. Some included...
1. I'm scared. Well then it's a grand thing I'm not the dentist who went to school (undergrad), more school (post grad), got a scholarship to a school IN ANOTHER COUNTRY (France), went to more school to be dentist in ANOTHER COUNTRY after that (US), and oh yeah, apparently spends her time learning more skills to add to her skill set. Can we say dedication? Passion? Do we grill any other doctor we see like this? No. She's totally prepared for this.

2. What if it hurts? Hello anesthesia? You just speak up and say HEY IT HURTS HURTS HURTS!

3. What if she doesn't notice I'm in pain? Ok seriously brain? Haven't all her reviews said she makes sure people are NOT in pain? It's 2022, she's not the old cranky sighing dude annoyed that people need anesthesia as if we're supposed to be happy to feel the procedure. This is not one of those "you get an itchy blanket to remind you you're lucky to have a blanket" type deals. And in the two times you've gone didn't they make sure you were comfortable?

4. I'm really emotionally attached to those teeth, in a territorial way. If this were about a wound that needs treating or a person that's harming you, does that even make sense? They're hurting me and I'm all "but I really have gotten to know them and we've bonded!" It's fine to be protective of them, they are a part of me, but they are a part of me that is now harming me, this doesn't mean that I value those parts of me less, but it does mean I value my entirety more. I value my overall health more. But...

5. What if the sounds are scary? We survived the scaler and drill... those aren't exactly quiet tools. Plus, headphones?

6. Stitches are scary. So then don't look at them, well look at them to make sure they are healing but obviously walking around staring at them isn't particularly a great idea. And I've had stitches before. What makes gum stitches worse than not gum stitches? They are stitches. If looking at them is that unsettling her office is down the road a 10 min drive, have her check them. We live next to 3 nurses, pretty sure they can look at them too.

I made a list of why I should do it all in one day and it went a bit like this...

1. You're there, she's there, it's going to be an awkward date with some teeth that don't fit but hey not everyone in your life fits in a positive or healthy way, THEY ARE CALLED TOXIC. Hello isn't toxic bad?

2. You're going to have to recover 1 time for extractions vs 2, why would you want to go through this a second time? Just do all the healing once, not twice.

3. Bacteria... bad bacteria is... bad. Like really bad. DO NOT KEEP BAD BACTERIA.
@mariyam Oh it’s so easy to come up with reasons why you shouldn’t! On my E-Day, we stopped at a stop light in the town where the dental office was and I actually contemplated getting out of the car and running off. I really did! Anxiety/trauma/phobia make irrationals of us all.

You’re going to be okay! You’ve got this and you can do it! The dentist sounds like she’ll notice if anything is amiss and if she doesn’t, believe me, I’m sure you’ll make her notice. But I don’t think that will happen. She seems kind and understanding and good at what she does. Just remember to think of the relief you’ll feel once that tooth is out of there! You never have to worry about it again.

Yeah the healing process can be rough, but it’s not as bad as you might be thinking! I have Covid and I still managed to heal up pretty well. Our mouths are very tough!

On the subject of being attached to those teeth. Just think of it as a toxic relationship that has to go now. You’ve tried to make it work but now it’s time for the breakup. You’re getting a glow up from this! Show those old teeth how awesome you are now! LOL

Anyway, good luck today and I hope everything goes smoothly!
It's been 5 hrs. I had my upper and lower wisdom teeth on the right side taken out with only local anesthesia. It was a lot faster than I thought it would be, the stitches were what upset me the most, I made the mistake of opening my eyes and BOOM I saw the thread approaching. Thankfully the dentist realized my eyes were open, tucked them away and said "close your eyes, you are safe, I will tell you when you can open them again". Being on the verge of panicked and relieved tears I just closed my eyes and tried to relax.

But I'm skipping head here. Let's back all the way up to me waking up after sleeping a whopping 2 hrs and being unable to eat (which I TOTALLY REGRET NOW, EATING BEFORE IS SUPER ESSENTIAL!). I woke up, part way convinced myself to NOT go, that the problem would go away. I didn't need those procedures. I can live with bacteria and the wisdom teeth slowly shoving my teeth in random directions. I don't NEED to fix anything. NOTHING IS WRONG IT WAS A HORRIBLE DREAM! After trying to convince myself of this I accepted that I do need the work done, I do need to fix things, and I do need to trust my dentist and myself in picking her. That's the extra rub with anxiety isn't it. It makes us doubt ourselves.

I was sitting in the parking lot listening to some songs @Aries92 had suggested. Thanks so much btw! and reading what @APhobicQueen had written to me. I remembered the little old lady who I saw in the office who had power napped during her appointment and I wanted to be that lady so badly. I want to be her, at her age, just calm and collected for my procedures and not a shaking crying mess. Maybe I'll never be so calm I fall asleep but I have to take these steps so I'm NOT freaking out all the time. I need to built trust and positive (as positive as they can be) experiences. I wasn't going to do that sitting in the car.

So I walked in, the dentist could see I was freaking out. We got all the paperwork out of the way. I saw the irrigation bags and immediately wanted to run out the door, she assured me they are just water, no needles, they are to help wash out my mouth so I'm not drowning in blood. Ok, cool, but hey manufacturers, DO THEY NEED TO BE IN IV BAGS!?!?! Talk about stock piling on the phobias.

We took an impression first. I gagged, I tried to bite. Ok I was trying to bite the tray which you aren't supposed to do, but in my panic I bit her thumb, didn't phase her one bit. She stood with me, holding it, telling me breath, breath in your nose, breath out your nose, and she did this on repeat for the whole 2 minutes it takes for that super gross putty to set. She saw I was in no state to wipe myself of the putty so she said "I'll do it, it's ok" I survived the impression.

She told me to close my eyes, she remembered my panic to the point of almost running out the door at seeing the anesthetic needle. With a gentle but firm motion she anesthetized me, I didn't feel the needle I actually thought she had numbed me at first but realized wait I didn't taste that awful goo! Each time she did it she kept telling me breathe in, hold, breathe out. I don't know how many she had to use I know she had to top it off because I kept making the sign of pain, even though there wasn't all that much but the discomfort and noise made my anxiety scream PAIN!

We go through the wisdom tooth extractions. There was some minor drilling for the angled one at the bottom, I knew that was coming. The top came out with lots of crunching noises from the elevator/luxator. I toggled between imagining my tooth was on an old elevator lift and all the noises were just the cables moving. Which I suppose is a way to think of it. The stitches came last. I had been good the whole time about keeping my eyes closed, signalling if I needed suction or just a rub on the shoulder for reassurance. The assistant was great.

Twice she had to stop and check if I was ok. I guess at some point I had opened my eyes and they were glazed over. I don't remember that part, but I do remember her asking me if I was ok, her eyes going wide when I didn't understand what she was saying and her hugging me. Literally hugging me and breathing with me, verbally telling me to breathe in and out. I don't think anyone has EVER done that for me. When I was breathing on my own she finished the extraction and stitches. I made the mistake of looking again, thinking I was done and seeing the thread. She reminded me to close my eyes and she would tell me when I could open them and I was safe. We were 2/3 of the way done!

When it came time for the frontal the right 1/2 of my mouth was numb but she gently added more anesthetic. She felt the various parts of my upper jaw, my sinus, even my cheeks. I know this because I could vaguely feel pressure. Again, the anesthetic stung a little but I know that the stinging is your nerves fighting for some insane reason against it and the anesthesia going "no no you WANT me to block pain you ridiculous bundle of nerves!" The frontal crown was what I most dreaded. I was afraid she'd take it out and go "well it's too badly damaged, we can't do the implant after all on to plan b and morph into some crazed loony" But she didn't. There was again a lot of crunching but the tooth was already loose so there wasn't all that much more than I had thought. There was a lot of drilling. I know it was to place the screw. Still freaked me out and the assistant squeezed my hand and shoulder to let me know it was ok, everything was going as it should. I just cranked up my music more to help drown out the noise. I have no real clue when the bone graft and membrane were put in. I was too busy trying to breathe through an aching jaw.

There wasn't any pain. Even now 5 hrs out there's not that much. It's mildly annoying. I've been dreading eating and have resigned to just having broth. I have an essix appliance/retainer so I don't have a hole. I'm supposed to leave it for the 1st 24 hrs. I'm terrified to take it off and not be able to get it back in so depending on how swollen it is tomorrow I might go longer than 24 hrs. Broth is hardly sugary right? I know it's designed to not put any pressure on the graft site so that is assuring.

I've still got some errant bleeding, but that's also super understandable. The dentist said it's ok. The essix will keep it sort of contained so it's not just floating around and the clot will also be protected from any touching. I'm horribly terrified I'll do something stupid when I take the retainer out and put it back in. I almost don't want to take it off EVER but that isn't particularly sanitary is it.

I'm not looking forward to sleeping propped up, but I know that's what works best for me when I have cuts and etc, elevate the wound. I'd say this qualifies as a wound.

Will update tomorrow and as the days go.
@mariyam Congrats! YOU DID IT!

And it went well!

You should be so proud of yourself. You did something so so scary, and you came through the other side.
Now, make sure to rest and be plenty kind to yourself while you recover. You deserve it! :cheers:
@APhobicQueen thank you!!! I'm mostly stocked up on all the soft liquid foods I can think of (hooray Amazon 2 hr delivery hahaha)