M
Melhyana
Junior member
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2021
- Messages
- 4
- Location
- Netherlands
(Firstly wanna apologize for a previous post I made with photos. Didn't realize it could trigger people and I'm truly sorry. But if some people saw that, focus on what I will say here )
My husband, my life coach, everyone that knows me are telling me I can be proud of myself. I feel proud while for a really long time, I felt ashamed.
I am autistic. I have sensory issues. I also have conversion disorder for 5 years now. This disorder affects my swallowing and my mouth.
So long story short, I am not trying to find excuses to my fear but like everyone here, my fears are valid.
4 years ago, bad experience, first tooth extraction, lots of bleeding (that now can be explained by a bleeding disorder) and a trip to the emergency dentist with a baby boy at 1am. Shortly after that, huge family events trauma that put me in such a bad health that I somehow stopped taking caring of myself.
That's where my dental health took a hit. I couldn't brush my teeth anymore. I couldn't even use a mouthwash. Everything was just too much.
For the last 2 years I kept telling to myself: I need to see someone. I need to brush my teeth better. I need to see the dentist.
But it was postponed. Fear was eating me alive. As much as the fear of losing my teeths.
Then I finally talked through it with people around me. It was 6 months ago.
I was advised a special center at the hospital for people like me. People like us. People that are afraid.
They were kind to me. I am so scared you guys even making a radio of my mouth is a challenge. But I managed. I let them look at my mouth.
Their answer was fast: 2 teeth need to go, deep cleaning is necessary and some filling as well.
Then "we can see that's a lot so we propose you to do this under general anesthesia".
I was worried about the costs but I felt I already delayed that care too long so I said yes. Yes to the treatment. Yes to the GA. Yes to get an healthy mouth back.
I had to wait 2 months. 2 months where I tried to clean my teeth everyday to try to avoid more damage. 2 months with the fear of bleeding a lot. 2 long months.
Then last Friday was the day.
At the end they had to remove 3 teeths. Fix 7 others. Clean deep under the gum.
I got scared. There was blood. But I got support from my loved ones. From the nurses. From the dentist.
Everyone did his best to reassure me. To tell me to not worry. That they knew how hard it was for me and that I did it. That I went for the treatment.
This is been almost 5 days now. Worries are still a bit here but went to see the dentist today. She said it's healing well. That there will be maybe a bit more blood but nothing abnormal. She said I need to take better care of myself. And I know she is right.
I realized that I could have lost so much more if I didn't made this step for a better health. It took me years. That's why I am a bit ashamed.
But I am also proud. Because now I can do my best to keep a healthy mouth and not go through this ever again.
I am proud because despite the fear I have since I am a child, I just went through a real rough dental care and I'm still standing today with no regrets.
I'm grateful for this forum that reassure me as well by reading all these amazing stories. I am up for anyone that needs compassion or reassurance.
Thank you for reading me ❤❤❤
My husband, my life coach, everyone that knows me are telling me I can be proud of myself. I feel proud while for a really long time, I felt ashamed.
I am autistic. I have sensory issues. I also have conversion disorder for 5 years now. This disorder affects my swallowing and my mouth.
So long story short, I am not trying to find excuses to my fear but like everyone here, my fears are valid.
4 years ago, bad experience, first tooth extraction, lots of bleeding (that now can be explained by a bleeding disorder) and a trip to the emergency dentist with a baby boy at 1am. Shortly after that, huge family events trauma that put me in such a bad health that I somehow stopped taking caring of myself.
That's where my dental health took a hit. I couldn't brush my teeth anymore. I couldn't even use a mouthwash. Everything was just too much.
For the last 2 years I kept telling to myself: I need to see someone. I need to brush my teeth better. I need to see the dentist.
But it was postponed. Fear was eating me alive. As much as the fear of losing my teeths.
Then I finally talked through it with people around me. It was 6 months ago.
I was advised a special center at the hospital for people like me. People like us. People that are afraid.
They were kind to me. I am so scared you guys even making a radio of my mouth is a challenge. But I managed. I let them look at my mouth.
Their answer was fast: 2 teeth need to go, deep cleaning is necessary and some filling as well.
Then "we can see that's a lot so we propose you to do this under general anesthesia".
I was worried about the costs but I felt I already delayed that care too long so I said yes. Yes to the treatment. Yes to the GA. Yes to get an healthy mouth back.
I had to wait 2 months. 2 months where I tried to clean my teeth everyday to try to avoid more damage. 2 months with the fear of bleeding a lot. 2 long months.
Then last Friday was the day.
At the end they had to remove 3 teeths. Fix 7 others. Clean deep under the gum.
I got scared. There was blood. But I got support from my loved ones. From the nurses. From the dentist.
Everyone did his best to reassure me. To tell me to not worry. That they knew how hard it was for me and that I did it. That I went for the treatment.
This is been almost 5 days now. Worries are still a bit here but went to see the dentist today. She said it's healing well. That there will be maybe a bit more blood but nothing abnormal. She said I need to take better care of myself. And I know she is right.
I realized that I could have lost so much more if I didn't made this step for a better health. It took me years. That's why I am a bit ashamed.
But I am also proud. Because now I can do my best to keep a healthy mouth and not go through this ever again.
I am proud because despite the fear I have since I am a child, I just went through a real rough dental care and I'm still standing today with no regrets.
I'm grateful for this forum that reassure me as well by reading all these amazing stories. I am up for anyone that needs compassion or reassurance.
Thank you for reading me ❤❤❤