M
MagicDuck12
Member
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2024
- Messages
- 96
- Location
- West Midlands
The waiting finally ended. I had the two fillings today.
I dont know if you can call it a positive experience? it was just an experience. one im certainly in no hurry to repeat
The Good
I end up seeing different dentists all the time and the one i saw today was the first time id seen him.
I dont know whether this guy was a genius, whether it was just coincidence, whether I think too much about it, or whether he treats everyone like that.
When I walked in, he immediately started a conversation with me, he recognised me and said are you so and so, referencing a sport im good at and compete at, at a high level. I said yes, and it instantly struck up a conversation where i felt in control and not nervous. I was giving HIM advice and suggesting various things.
I thought about this a lot afterwards. Why was he doing this? Just to be nice is the obvious reason, but he took a huge interest in what i was saying. It felt like he was deliberately making me look like the "expert" and making him look smaller. or at least equal. It felt like in the room i was the bigger person, which had a surprisingly big calming effect.
He also said things that were very candid that i really didnt expect from a dentist. He firstly when talking about the procedure asked me if i took time off from work to come here? and i said yes. are you nervous about it? and i said yes. Have you had bad experiences? and i said yes. And he said....coming here sucks. itll always suck. my only goal is to get you right, and make is as bearable as possible. I thought thats incredibly honest because he echoed how i felt.
I confronted him about the injections. I said i had a phobia of injections, and everyone says it doesnt hurt, basically their experiences are totally different to mine. He said im not really interested what their experiences are, everyones different. the injections suck, and again, i just have to make it suck as little as possible. He said youre right, at the very least itll be uncomfortable, and at worst itll hurt, everyones different. Again, i thought....you know what, this is a kind of honesty i can actually buy into. It made me prepare for the worst and mentally accept it.
He said everyone can talk a good game afterwards. Ask them in the moment how they felt when a drill was coming towards them, or a needle. And i just thought....you actually UNDERSTAND how i feel.
He observed every single stop signal i made, and there were a lot. And he did it with a sort of dry humour that really actually lifted me at times, just at the right time. You could tell there was a genuine feeling behind it, not a frustrated get on with it you phobic idiot feeling you get from some. sometimes he would say "are you ok?" and immediately answer the question for me by shaking his head. I did find it actually quite humorous and it did lift me.
When it was all over and i was a bit broken and really, really ready to go home, i said "what happens now"...or at least tried to being numb. And he said nothing happens now. I was like.....eh? and he said nothing happens now. You decide what happens now. You come back in 6 months, 2 years, 5 years, never.....its your decision.
I thought....thats totally not what you should say. But i found it weirdly empowering. Empowering enough that i could leave the dentist and feel like a normal human being....ish...there was no high, there was no sense of achievement, there was no excitement or sense id beaten the phobia, but there was no traumatic low either. I just....went home. And maybe thats how it should feel?
So in one respect, he treated me totally differently to how i expected. Was he doing it deliberately because it was me? ive got no idea, but his approach was so off what i was expecting i actually felt....sort of ok with him.
THE BAD
Everything about the fillings i hated. But i knew that
I woke up in the morning and was sick. I knew i had to eat but didnt really want to. I got into the waiting room and felt extremely light headed as i was sat down. Embarrasingly, i went to the gents and was sick there too.
The injections made me feel dizzy, first seeing the needle even though for a brief second, and then the feel of it. It was nothing like people describe, and i didnt feel it would be. It was how i remember it, a sort of multiple sharp stings type feeling that goes on quite a while, and then for whatever reason, the end stings more than the beginning. so i made some noises but i got through it, just.
Though short, the drilling phase made me stop i would estimate at least 10 times. I could not stand the sound or the feeling, it was making me want to be sick and i can only describe the feeling i had physically of being very weak.
i got prodded around whilst the fillings got neatened i suppose, didnt like that either, was just desperate to go home after hearing the drill.
I mercifully spent a little time gathering myself in the chair afterwards, they took their time with me and i didnt have to go. the nurse rubbed my shoulder and said id done well to keep going, that was nice.
Ill also put in the "bad" section that i went to the desk after and i said i wanted to cancel my future appointments and that id had enough. I wanted to sort myself out and id be in touch. the receptionist was very sympathetic smiling and said no problem at all. Id bottled it, but i wasnt made to feel it was a mistake.
I went home and had a very long sleep. But for the first time in i dont know how long, i didnt cry. Im clinging onto that as success.
AFTERMATH
Ive decided im taking an indefinite period off from dentistry and ill really try and scale back my time on here. It ruins me. Ill go back when i feel like it, either if im hurting, or if im ready mentally, whether its right or wrong.
The feeling i have now is more of a nothingness. No happiness or pride in getting through it, just a knowledge i did it. im more happy to have a break and im at peace with that decision.
Thank you to everyone who supported my privately in the lead up to today, i couldnt have done it without you and even today, i would have pulled out at times.
I dont know if you can call it a positive experience? it was just an experience. one im certainly in no hurry to repeat
The Good
I end up seeing different dentists all the time and the one i saw today was the first time id seen him.
I dont know whether this guy was a genius, whether it was just coincidence, whether I think too much about it, or whether he treats everyone like that.
When I walked in, he immediately started a conversation with me, he recognised me and said are you so and so, referencing a sport im good at and compete at, at a high level. I said yes, and it instantly struck up a conversation where i felt in control and not nervous. I was giving HIM advice and suggesting various things.
I thought about this a lot afterwards. Why was he doing this? Just to be nice is the obvious reason, but he took a huge interest in what i was saying. It felt like he was deliberately making me look like the "expert" and making him look smaller. or at least equal. It felt like in the room i was the bigger person, which had a surprisingly big calming effect.
He also said things that were very candid that i really didnt expect from a dentist. He firstly when talking about the procedure asked me if i took time off from work to come here? and i said yes. are you nervous about it? and i said yes. Have you had bad experiences? and i said yes. And he said....coming here sucks. itll always suck. my only goal is to get you right, and make is as bearable as possible. I thought thats incredibly honest because he echoed how i felt.
I confronted him about the injections. I said i had a phobia of injections, and everyone says it doesnt hurt, basically their experiences are totally different to mine. He said im not really interested what their experiences are, everyones different. the injections suck, and again, i just have to make it suck as little as possible. He said youre right, at the very least itll be uncomfortable, and at worst itll hurt, everyones different. Again, i thought....you know what, this is a kind of honesty i can actually buy into. It made me prepare for the worst and mentally accept it.
He said everyone can talk a good game afterwards. Ask them in the moment how they felt when a drill was coming towards them, or a needle. And i just thought....you actually UNDERSTAND how i feel.
He observed every single stop signal i made, and there were a lot. And he did it with a sort of dry humour that really actually lifted me at times, just at the right time. You could tell there was a genuine feeling behind it, not a frustrated get on with it you phobic idiot feeling you get from some. sometimes he would say "are you ok?" and immediately answer the question for me by shaking his head. I did find it actually quite humorous and it did lift me.
When it was all over and i was a bit broken and really, really ready to go home, i said "what happens now"...or at least tried to being numb. And he said nothing happens now. I was like.....eh? and he said nothing happens now. You decide what happens now. You come back in 6 months, 2 years, 5 years, never.....its your decision.
I thought....thats totally not what you should say. But i found it weirdly empowering. Empowering enough that i could leave the dentist and feel like a normal human being....ish...there was no high, there was no sense of achievement, there was no excitement or sense id beaten the phobia, but there was no traumatic low either. I just....went home. And maybe thats how it should feel?
So in one respect, he treated me totally differently to how i expected. Was he doing it deliberately because it was me? ive got no idea, but his approach was so off what i was expecting i actually felt....sort of ok with him.
THE BAD
Everything about the fillings i hated. But i knew that
I woke up in the morning and was sick. I knew i had to eat but didnt really want to. I got into the waiting room and felt extremely light headed as i was sat down. Embarrasingly, i went to the gents and was sick there too.
The injections made me feel dizzy, first seeing the needle even though for a brief second, and then the feel of it. It was nothing like people describe, and i didnt feel it would be. It was how i remember it, a sort of multiple sharp stings type feeling that goes on quite a while, and then for whatever reason, the end stings more than the beginning. so i made some noises but i got through it, just.
Though short, the drilling phase made me stop i would estimate at least 10 times. I could not stand the sound or the feeling, it was making me want to be sick and i can only describe the feeling i had physically of being very weak.
i got prodded around whilst the fillings got neatened i suppose, didnt like that either, was just desperate to go home after hearing the drill.
I mercifully spent a little time gathering myself in the chair afterwards, they took their time with me and i didnt have to go. the nurse rubbed my shoulder and said id done well to keep going, that was nice.
Ill also put in the "bad" section that i went to the desk after and i said i wanted to cancel my future appointments and that id had enough. I wanted to sort myself out and id be in touch. the receptionist was very sympathetic smiling and said no problem at all. Id bottled it, but i wasnt made to feel it was a mistake.
I went home and had a very long sleep. But for the first time in i dont know how long, i didnt cry. Im clinging onto that as success.
AFTERMATH
Ive decided im taking an indefinite period off from dentistry and ill really try and scale back my time on here. It ruins me. Ill go back when i feel like it, either if im hurting, or if im ready mentally, whether its right or wrong.
The feeling i have now is more of a nothingness. No happiness or pride in getting through it, just a knowledge i did it. im more happy to have a break and im at peace with that decision.
Thank you to everyone who supported my privately in the lead up to today, i couldnt have done it without you and even today, i would have pulled out at times.
