• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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I faced my fear now a dental hygienist made it worse



Junior member
May 22, 2009
I don't know what to do now. I found a dentist who understands my fear. I got all those teeth pulled, now It was time to get my teeth cleaned. She told me the hygienist was going to freeze me for this. Never heard of this before. Two appointments 8 needles! I took a lorasapam both times. I thought I was going to go through the roof with the pain from 1 of those needles. Okay, I got through it. 3rd appointment was suppose to be polishing. I didn't take a pill for that appointment. Big mistake. She picked and picked with that pick thing HURTING ME!!! She got mad at for being scared saying it shouldn't hurt. I started crying and she got even MORE mad at me. The only reason I didnt get up and leave was because the dentist was going to finally fix my chipped front tooth which I was longing to get fixed for 2 years. Well, I don't know what to do now. The dentist said I I have to come back to get some cavities fixed. Here I am thinking I have made progress in my dental fear, and this b has made me regress so much. I just can't go back. I am more scared than ever before. What should I do?
Time and time again on here we hear of dentists going out of their way to help us then a hygienist ruins everything by being heavy handed. I would either tell the dentist of your experience with her, or put it in writing to the practice manager or dentist what happened and how it has left you feeling. Also explain that her injections are very painful.

Unless they are made aware of her bad attitude they probably don't know how she treats their patients. They won't like it because it is probably losing them patients if people are too scared to return.

See how they handle things when you have told them, and if you are not comforted by their actions or words then look for somewhere else. :butterfly:

A very useful skill that helps facing dental fear is to be able to leave the person who is treating you. When it comes to dental cleaning it is even easier because it can also be done by your dentist. Can your dentist do the cleaning for you?
I know I should tell the dentist how she hurt me and for her attitude towards me for being so anxious. Even if I go back to this dentist, which I really want to do because I like her so much, I am afraid I will see this hygienist again. It's a small office. I don't want that girl anywhere near me. It is really frustrating when there are people out there that have no clue about anxieties and phobias. That girl should not be in that line of work. If I had young children, I would NEVER let that person touch them, ever. Monster in my eyes.
You can see your dentist without seeing that hygienist for work. If you see here when you are in the practice you don't have to be bothered with her or by her. I really think a letter or word to your dentist would be a good thing to do as your dentist could be losing patients and not know why. I think she will be annoyed at the way the hygienists treated you.

She may not say anything in front of you but I think behind the scenes she may have a word with the girl and you may find that she treats people differently. You don't have to be treated by her, you can see a hygienist outside of your dentists office if you need to have a clean and your dentist doesn't do it.

Whatever you decide I wish you all the best, please don't let this set you back :butterfly:
Update from me. I didn't go back until last week because I had severe pain again. I have 3 absess teeth. She says she can't save them, so here I go having to get them pulled next week. ( with laughing gas again so I can do that) she sure likes to pull my teeth out. I told her I didn't come back because that hygienist hurt me so much. You know what she said to me? "Well, that is no excuse to not look after your teeth" I thought I was going to break down and cry but I kept it together somehow. She kept going on about "my gum disease" and how I have to expect some discomfort with my dental treatment because of it. That was not discomfort from that hygienist, it was pure agony when she put those needles in my mouth. Guess what? She wants me to have that same cleaning after I get these teeth out from the same person! Not going to happen. I will never go back to that place again. Why does someone like me have to have so many bad experiences with the dental community ? I heard on the radio today about getting your teeth cleaned by a laser? Anyone have any experience with this? I can't do this anymore. I'm 52 years old with high blood pressure and this sh$$t is just not good for me.
Hi I am also in my 50s and I have had a lifetime of ups and downs with different dentists. Unfortunately for you you do need to keep looking as there are some fantastic dentists out there. They will understand your nerves and treat you properly and not judge you. I am surprised at the dentists attitude as she went out of her way to try and calm you to have treatment.

I would not go back either to see her or the hygienist again after the attitude, you are not expected to have painful treatment for any reason. I have always managed to get myself to see a dentist for 6 monthly checks but it has been very hard. I have a lovely dentist now and you will find one too that is right for you. I appreciate how hard and draining it is to keep going through the fear and nerves but it is so worth it when you get the right one.

Take a breather and then try again. Dentistry should and can be done pain free. It isn't always that we have neglected our oral hygiene that we get problems, I have had plenty of work done and that is with looking after my mouth and seeing a dentist, so you might be in the same state even if you had gone the last 20 years.

Nobody has any right to judge you or tell you off. You are not a child and you are asking for help now so blow a big raspberry to anyone that makes you feel uncomfortable or not understood.

When you feel ready contact someone new, I wish you all the best and I hope you can manage to get the courage to try again soon.

Good luck
I have phobias of both doctors and dentists and have been treated poorly by both.

It's because you feel very vulnerable at their offices. You're sick, that's why you're there, and you're trusting them not to harm you. But you have to try to tell yourself that you're the one in control, not them. They might nag you or tell you to stop complaining or pressure you, but they need your money to make a living. And they can't force you to do anything you don't want to.

It's hard, but if a dentist says not to complain or to suck things up or whatever, you should confront them about it and leave. I've actually done this a few times, although it's really difficult and the mean doctors will go out of their way to continue to confront you back as you leave and ban you from their office.

But you have to believe that you deserve good treatment and you have to believe in standing up for yourself. I don't know about you, but I was abused as a child, so I tend to be terrified and feel little in these kinds of situations.

But you're an adult and you're the one with the money. Their job is to convince you that they're good enough to take care of your teeth, not the other way around.

And I guarantee you that those people are losing patients all the time. I had to get rid of a doctor who mistreated me when I got violently ill from the medication he gave me (he was angry at me because of something my body did that I can't control.) I told him that he had no right to speak to me that way and I left and it's really no surprise that this doctor is losing his practice now because he can't get enough patients. I was wondering at the time why his office was always so empty.

Anyway, I also did the same thing with my current dentist. I was nervous about a procedure and I wanted to ask questions beforehand. They said I wasn't allowed to ask questions, so I got up and said,"Well, then I'm done. I'm not getting a procedure if I'm not allowed to ask questions about it."

So they found a way to make time for my questions and if they hadn't, then that would have been the last day I ever saw them.

I also left a dentists office when I told him I was afraid of getting dental work and he told me he couldn't work on me if I insisted on not trying at all. (Because being afraid to him was the same as me being lazy.) And he was not the last dentist I saw. I was able to move on and I'm glad he has no say in my teeth.

This is kind of a lecture I'm giving myself as well as you while I type it. I'm so terrified and I always feel sick to my stomach whenever I confront dentists. But good ones will treat you right.
Just another update from me. So I got the 3 teeth out with the nitrous oxide. Nightmare city. I do not like that dentist anymore! 2 hours in that chair to get 3 teeth pulled. 2 of them were a problem to pull. The last one the freezing didn't work properly after needle after needle. Under gas you don't care but you do care, but I just said pull it even though it hurt like hell. She was still trying to get out a piece of root but then said to the assistant , "she is under duress so I am just going to file down this piece of root and stitch her up." What the heck was that all about? They put you on a pulse monitor when you have gas,did it say I was n danger of a heart attack or stroke? I did not like the gas this time at all. And I don't think she has a clue what she is doing. Leaving a piece of tooth in my jaw? I cried my eyes out when my husband came to get me from that room. Guessing from the gas. Total pain that night and massive shakes before I went to bed for 12 hours. Was on Tylenol 3 s which make me feel wonky. Wake up next morning. Eye closed shut, bruises on my jaw, neck, back upper back extreme sore. This is day 5 and I am still in some pain. I have a follow up in 3 days but that will be the end of her and I will have to regroup for sure and explore other options. Nice to know she was recommend to me by our dental association for patients with extreme dental phobia.
Hello there

Sorry to hear about the recent bad experiences you have had, it very much sounds to me like you have come to the end of the road with this particular dentist. I think it's time to interview some new potential candidates.

I had the same problem with the last dentist I went to, their complete lack of understanding of what I like and don't like and inconsistency and Staff turnover led to me giving them the elbow, it felt pretty scary going to see a new dentist as I'd bern going there for 20 odd years (my old dentist retired and sold his practice to a "chain").

However, my new dentist who I've been going to for 2 years now is fabulous, he listens and accommodates how I prefer things, takes his time and is brilliant clinically, I've managed to get stuff done that to be honest wouldn't have been possible with the other place and he does it totally pain and anxiety free and without fuss. His staff are hand picked for temperament and they are all fabulous so I would say if you aren't happy at this place, change your dentist, there are some brilliant ones out there just waiting to be found; don't put up with shoddy work or bad attitudes, remember that you are paying them and as a customer they need you just as much as you need them.

Hope everything sorts itself, you will be fine once you have found your perfect dental practice.
I agree with Spike 1969 time to say goodbye to that dentist :grouphug::grouphug:I hope you start to feel better soon. :hug5::butterfly: