M
McHobbit
Member
- Joined
- May 23, 2013
- Messages
- 81
Went to the emergency dentist because the area above my front teeth started swelling and hurt. I had x-rays, she checked all of the teeth. They all do react to cold and are alive, so basically she doesn't know what is wrong. Now I'm on eight days of antibiotics and the dentist didn't even know what was going on there other than "maybe it's one of your teeth dying, but they all react to cold so that's very strange". And I'm supposed to call "my dentist" on Monday. The last dentist I went to I saw ONCE and he's pretty far from my house. I don't have a "my dentist" because I feel like I tried everyone and their cousin in my area. Some don't know what in the world they're doing and others wouldn't bother with a patient like me. The shots always hurt like hell, even with numbing cream (blood tests and medical injections don't bother me). Of course I have another cavity in my front tooth, too. Like this wasn't enough already.
I ate a banana yesterday and it was torture. Now I have to eat baby food and ice cream three times a day because you have to eat before the antibiotics and dairy is not allowed.
Just before, I made all these plans for June. To study more French so I can go to France for my birthday in the fall, to go places with friend, spend a lot of time outside, to finish projects and books and start decluttering projects. Now I'm here thinking of a story to tell all of my friends so they'll leave me alone and getting ready to return library books and cancel all kinds of things.
I'm normally a very happy person, but whenever something dentist related comes up I turn into this person I hate. I feel so miserable that I get these feelings of hatred for anyone or anything happy. I cannot focus on anything. Even "time wasting" activities like TV, facebook and video games annoy me too much to do them just so time passes. I can sleep, surprisingly, but that's about all. I've tried medication in the past and somehow it doesn't work for me. Once I had sleeping pills that just gave me bad dreams, benzos to go to the dentist seemed to make me even worse or just too stupid to understand anything.
Everyone just says "Well, get on some medication" or "Well, then do something so you'll forget about it". I was out shopping for the baby food and just being in there, among people, for ten minutes or so...I couldn't wait to get out and back home. I cannot drive to a dentist's office once again I'll be wasting somebody elses time because I'm not normal like everyone else. Nobody understand how this and the freaking cavity are going to ruin weeks of my life, all of June if not more depending on how long this drags out. I love the summer so wasting all of these lovely weeks makes me so sad.
Once every year or every year and a half or whatnot, this happens and it makes me feel like it just isn't worth it. I want my life back and it feels like as long as I'll have teeth, I can't. I just want to be myself again.
I don't even know if any of this is coherent. I'm sorry, I just don't know where else to go. Nobody in my real life understands what it's like for me.
I ate a banana yesterday and it was torture. Now I have to eat baby food and ice cream three times a day because you have to eat before the antibiotics and dairy is not allowed.
Just before, I made all these plans for June. To study more French so I can go to France for my birthday in the fall, to go places with friend, spend a lot of time outside, to finish projects and books and start decluttering projects. Now I'm here thinking of a story to tell all of my friends so they'll leave me alone and getting ready to return library books and cancel all kinds of things.
I'm normally a very happy person, but whenever something dentist related comes up I turn into this person I hate. I feel so miserable that I get these feelings of hatred for anyone or anything happy. I cannot focus on anything. Even "time wasting" activities like TV, facebook and video games annoy me too much to do them just so time passes. I can sleep, surprisingly, but that's about all. I've tried medication in the past and somehow it doesn't work for me. Once I had sleeping pills that just gave me bad dreams, benzos to go to the dentist seemed to make me even worse or just too stupid to understand anything.
Everyone just says "Well, get on some medication" or "Well, then do something so you'll forget about it". I was out shopping for the baby food and just being in there, among people, for ten minutes or so...I couldn't wait to get out and back home. I cannot drive to a dentist's office once again I'll be wasting somebody elses time because I'm not normal like everyone else. Nobody understand how this and the freaking cavity are going to ruin weeks of my life, all of June if not more depending on how long this drags out. I love the summer so wasting all of these lovely weeks makes me so sad.
Once every year or every year and a half or whatnot, this happens and it makes me feel like it just isn't worth it. I want my life back and it feels like as long as I'll have teeth, I can't. I just want to be myself again.
I don't even know if any of this is coherent. I'm sorry, I just don't know where else to go. Nobody in my real life understands what it's like for me.