• Dental Phobia Support

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I finally did it and cancelled my contract with unsympathetic dentist!

N

Nalz

Junior member
Joined
May 19, 2023
Messages
11
Location
United Kingdom
I apologise that this is such a long post!

I had been with the same dentist for around 20 years. Initially, my experience with my dentist had been good. He put me at ease and as good as cured my fear of the dentist....until lately.....I have lived with anxiety and depression for around 20 years, which had a major impact on my dental hygiene in the past. I am the most unconfrontational person you will ever meet and would walk away from any type of confrontation. For around 2 years, I have vastly improved my dental hygiene and I also now floss, if not every day, at least 5 times a week. Since taking more care of my teeth, the last year or so has been an absolute nightmare. I appreciate this has possibly been the result of years of neglect finally catching up with me.

Last year, I think I had to visit my dentist around 5 times as an emergency to have mainly fillings but one infected tooth that had to be extracted. Each time, my dentist had been more and more passively aggressive. He was however a Jekyll and Hyde type, whereby, you didn't know what mood you would get him in (a past post of mine touches on this). Sometimes, he was totally fine. At other times, he would make sarky comments and pretty much instigate that I was lying when I said I wasn't numb. At these times, I was highly anxious and mid-panic attack. I am a people pleaser, who doesn't like to make a fuss, who when mid-panic attack, no-one would really notice. My partner can tell by certain signs. When I have a panic attack, I don't experience hyperventilating. I feel dizzy, like I'm going to pass out, feel like I can't breathe properly, my heart races and pounds, and I feel like I'm choking. But, not wanting to make a fuss, I internalise it. I felt like I was back to the dental phobia state I was in before I saw him (not only fear of treatment but fear of HIS TREATMENT TOWARDS ME). After the 2nd time of being treated this way last year, I had a 3rd issue of pain. I waited a week and half before I could bear the pain no longer, and ended up phoning the dentist. Not only was the dentist snarky, the receptionists were too. After calling to say I was in pain and needed an appointment and being spoken to like a piece of rubbish by the receptionists, I came off the phone and cried my eyes out. As someone who suffers from depression, believe it or not, I NEVER cry. This is when I realised something needed to change.

However....I suffer from anxiety. And as those with anxiety will know, I HATE change..even change that may be good! It took me a while (2 more visits to said dentist in fact) before I realised in the new year that I couldn't continue the way I was going. I called my dentist to cancel my contract and then contacted denplan to officially cancel (I'm in the UK).

The thing that now terrifies me is that I am now dentist-less! I am the most indecisive person on the planet and am looking into dentists to join. The thought of making the wrong choice terrifies me. I'm looking at reviews and also at ones who specialise in dental anxiety if possible. My biggest challenge now is making the choice and calling to arrange it.

Sorry again for the ultra long post!
 
@Nalz Sack this dentist and ring 111
You can complain to the NHS about his behaviour and how the reception staff treat you . You should be treated with respect & dignity
They wouldn’t tolerate behaviour like this neither should you xx
 
I've already left this dentist, thankfully. The dentist was private and so I don't think the NHS would be able to do anything about any complaints about them.
 
@Nalz maybe a trust Pilot review would be helpful then others will know to avoid . Companies can’t remove trust pilot reviews like they can google . Good luck in the future xxx
 
Thank you for that, I'll look into it. xxx
 
@Nalz good on you for taking the first step towards making the switch, I don't think you'll regret it! Finding a new dentist can be very daunting... we've put together some tips here:



Here's hoping that you'll find someone caring, gentle, and respectful before long 🤗
 
Oh brilliant, thank you! I'll have a look!
 
@Nalz I suffer with anxiety and depression too and have done for many years. I can relate to your message so well. Your dentist's behaviour was disgraceful and so were the receptionists. How dare they treat a patient so disrespectfully. I have this awful dental phobia too and it returned last week when a filling fell out. I ended up calling the Crisis Team because my anxiety returned so severely. It was also why I joined this site. I had to do something immediately to help my illness. I used to be a people pleaser too like you at one time, but found there are some people in this world who take advantage of a nice nature and abuse it. My last therapist helped me change my way of thinking and she helped me stand up for myself and stop the abuse. I have a dentist now that advertises outside the surgery that nervous patients are welcomed and it is certainly true. They have always shown me kindness and understanding. I am sure there are many other dentists who share the same understanding and I hope you are able to find one that treats you with the respect and calmness you so deserve. Good luck in your search. No one should have to suffer such bad behaviour from a dentist. x
 
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