I hate my teeth :( someone help...

[andyyharrison]

Hey, my name's Andy, I'm 21 and have had a fear of dentists pretty much all my life. The pain, the sitting in the chair and not knowing what's going on in your mouth when the dentists are fiddling around makes me sweat, shiver, shake, spew and leaves me a mess and due to this, my teeth are absolutely f*****g awful. I regret every dentist appointment i bailed out on because of my fear and now i'm left with absolutely no confidence and i never ever smile with my mouth open anymore to anyone and i just don't know what to do.
All my friends have perfect teeth(to me) and i just feel my teeth are just holding me back from doing anything, i'm still at a young age but with no job and no money i just can't afford any treatment and i just don't dare book a dentist appointment without having some result after. It's left me an emotional wreck and partners in the past have always broke up with me, cheated on me or just never shown any interest and i think it's all down to my teeth and my confidence has long gone because of it.
Someone please either give me some support or help me on a solution how to sort it because i feel like i'm on my own here and i absolutely hate it, no-one should have to have horrible, manky teeth at the age of 21 and it upsets me more that i do. I'm even tempted to write in to embarrassing bodies to see if they can make a miracle happen and let me smile again.

Cheers for reading and this is probably the only time in my life I've actually expressed my emotions about how i feel. Peace xx

 

[45andAfraid]

I'm 45 and have lived 24 years longer this way then you have. It's NEVER too late to start.

My teeth are in such bad shape that I lost all confidence when I look at people, I never smile and people think I'm always angry, sad or mad because I NEVER talk and I NEVER smile.

Please read my blog.... it'll help you understand what I'm going through and may help you too.

Read through this forum... you'll find LOTS of people here who are in the same boat just trying to paddle to the other side....

I'm scared out of my wits end atm because i have to go for impressions. It's not til NEXT monday but I'm already a blubbering idiot...

 

[andyyharrison]

Weirdly enough i was actually reading your blog on wordpress prior to you replying aha and i appreciate you replying man.

I don't know where to start though :/ I have no money at all and i'm on exactly the same boat as you mate, i'm worried that if i go to a dentist, they'll be like "yeah, they're f*cked and they need to all come out" and i definitely don't want to be wearing dentures when i'm in the prime years of doing something with myself, especially going out with friends on nights out and imagining them falling out mid-conversation with someone good looking. Literally no-one i know has bad teeth as much as mine and i feel completely alone. What do i do? :/

And reading blogs on here proves that dental phobia isn't just something immature, it affects people of any age traumatically and i respect you alot for expressing your emotions. I cry so much at night sometimes and i just don't dare tell anyone.

 

[45andAfraid]

....i'm worried that if i go to a dentist, they'll be like "yeah, they're f*cked and they need to all come out" and i definitely don't want to be wearing dentures when i'm in the prime years of doing something with myself....QUOTE]

I think somewhere on my blog I wrote about a girl on youtube who has a full set of dentures/ tops and bottoms and she is only 26. She's gorgeous! They won't fall out like you think they will unless you don't care for them like you should.

Unfortunately I can't wear them because I gag way too easily so I have to go with implants. It's eff'n expensive - but i got a loan out (second mortgage so-to-speak). I'll be in debt for the rest of my life and it'll probably mean not making back home (to the states) to visit my mother for another couple of years. but my health is much more important.

Atleast take the first step and find a dentist that you will feel completely comfortable with. Just TALK... nothing more... get a feel for them. You will know if you're comfortable with that dentist or not, but you have to establish trust and a good relationship with him/her.

 

[Amoreyna]

One of my biggest worries for a long time was a dentist telling me I'd lose them all.

This helpful thought was dug into me by a dentist I had for several years, convinced that even with all I was doing I still wouldn't have my teeth when I hit 30. (Haha, proved him wrong on that one).

After I stopped seeing him I didn't go to the dentist for a few years. I was terrified that they'd all lecture me, ask me if I was eating sugar of any kind since that was apparently a death sentence and then they'd tell me that there was nothing more to be done but pull them.

All I can tell you is, the longer you put it off the worse it will be eventually. Not as a scare tactic, but that over time our teeth need some help and it's important to keep up with that. Plus, you'll only leave yourself swimming in fear for that much longer.

Are you in the US or the UK? UK of course has NHS and the US has some rather decent discount plans if you look around a bit and compare, along with carecredit to help with bill paying. I would also recommend looking at the sit page on 'worse mouth', which is what a lot of phobia patients feel they have (I know, I was one of them before seeing my current dentist.) And even, in the off chance your mouth looks like those at a young age, keep in mind the message of the page - dentists see this stuff all the time. Ask for recommendations from family and friends, make an appointment and arrange for someone to go with you as a support system.

Also, you might want to think about seeing a therapist. Even without insurance there are at least a lot of therapists in my area that work on a sliding scale or even free so that more people have access to their services. It might help with your confidence and help you sort out your past relationship problems.

And let me tell you, no matter how bad your teeth are you do not deserve to be cheated on. Never.

 

[rinella]

Hey Andy!

I'm actually really glad that I stumbled across your post! I'm pretty much in the same boat as you. I'm only 21 and I hate my teeth, and it's grown to a point where it's probably my biggest insecurity! :<

I was lucky in the fact that I was born with naturally nice teeth that were very straight and dare I say near perfect in most aspects. The problem is that my parents were never strict enough when it came to taking care of them. Once in a while they'd tell me to brush them, but if I didn't, they didn't really bother to tell me again. So I got into the bad habit early on of not brushing them as much as I should.

I was never really bothered by my teeth until high school, when they started getting a bit discolored. I occasionally had cavities and such, but they didn't bother me because I don't really feel pain when I get cavities? Then I ended up breaking one of my front teeth because it was already a little chipped and when I bit down on something it broke. EVER since then, I have had a horrible paranoia of damaging my teeth!

(I did get it fixed, and the dentist did an amazing job of rebuilding it pretty much as just a big filling and it looks really natural.)

My problem now is that even though I got that fixed and all I had to do was take care of them, I was SUPER afraid to touch them for fear of damaging them again. The thought of brushing my teeth now literally makes me more scared than just about anything. I've hardly taken care of them in the past few years.

In comparison, they're not HORRIBLE really, but the worst problems are in my front teeth where EVERYBODY has to look at, which makes me FEEL like mine are worse than ALL of my friends'. For one, I hate the discoloration, which has been the result of a lot of pop and little brushing. So I never smile in pictures or anything, just kind of smirk (unless I can photoshop them before putting them online ). Two, I have one or two cavities in my front teeth, mostly on the sides, so they aren't too noticeable. I also have one brown spot on my upper middle tooth where it seems the enamel is actually wearing away, and there's no way of getting rid of it unless a dentist has a solution.

I haven't been to a dentist since high school, and my number one fear is having them scold me for not taking care of my teeth the way I should be taking care of them. Also, at this point, I'm kind of afraid that THEM fixing my teeth will damage them further... Yeah, this paranoia runs deep man. lol! I'm actually more afraid of them cleaning them than fixing them. They always clean them really hard and make my teeth bleed badly... Fixing them, at least I have Novocaine.

I know I REALLY need to see one, but I'm broke! Right now I only have a seasonal job where I'm lucky to get ten hours a week if that. Next week I'm only working 6. :< I get no dental insurance, neither does anyone in my family. Heck, we don't even have medical insurance... We're sooo below the poverty line. haha! My only option would be marrying my boyfriend ASAP so I can use the dental he gets from his work. Buuut, that doesn't seem to logical for me.

The one good thing is that I do have a really supportive partner. I get into little kicks of "I want to improve this and that about myself" but then give up relatively shortly after, and the one thing he hates is that I always seem to give up on myself, so I'm determined not to give up on getting this fixed. I just have to figure out where I can go see a dentist to at least talk about my options. Just always remember, they've seen worse. Trust me, all I have to do is look at my dad to know that. He has an empty mouth with only maybe about 3 or 4 rotted teeth left. I don't know how the hell he manages to eat honestly. D:

And TRUST ME on this. If people left you because of you're teeth, or worse, cheated on you because of it, that makes them super shallow and that's someone you don't want for yourself anyway. I can't believe people like that are allowed to exist. >.>;

I've been cheated on before too, so I can relate on how much it sucks. I know it sounds corny, but you just have to stay optimistic. Luckily, despite my hundreds of insecurities, I can still laugh and smile at life and just be happy for the good things I do have, and an attitude like that really comes in handy. I definitely have my really insecure days where I'm so down and depressed, but overall, I just try to appreciate "hey, at least I have air in my lungs, decent health, a loving family, some good friends, a great boyfriend, a college education, and a job, even if it is a crappy one."

My point is that if people see you at least trying to be optimistic about things and just being as happy as you can be overall, that will really have an impact on them. When I go to work, I smile fully at everyone, despite the fact that my teeth are yellow and not that pretty to look at, and that gives them the impression of "hey, even though her teeth are messed up, she's got confidence and she likes who she is" and I usually get a lot of smiles back. No one seems to have been grossed out yet.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're teeth alone should never put people off, unless they're just shallow horrible people that probably aren't cool enough to hang out with you anyway. There are good, caring people who will accept and love you for you, flaws and all. Nobody's perfect. Everyone struggles with their own flaws and insecurities, so as long as you have a good attitude, I'm sure you'll definitely find someone who will really appreciate you. ^^

Also, since we're in the same boat being the same age and all, if you ever want to keep in touch and keep updated on progress and whatnot, feel free to drop me a line anytime!

Rin

 

[andyyharrison]

Heya what you just said was the probably the best thing i could possibly hear from someone about my teeth and it's nice to know i'm not alone I live in the UK so the NHS is probably my best bet but if i wasn't such a fanny with dentists i would have gone ages ago and got it sorted lmao shame i am :') If you want to chat on facebook if you have it feel free to add me, way easier to talk on there

facebook.com/andyyharrison

Andy x

 

[brit]

Heya what you just said was the probably the best thing i could possibly hear from someone about my teeth and it's nice to know i'm not alone I live in the UK so the NHS is probably my best bet but if i wasn't such a fanny with dentists i would have gone ages ago and got it sorted lmao shame i am :') If you want to chat on facebook if you have it feel free to add me, way easier to talk on there

facebook.com/andyyharrison

Andy x

If your income is low enough, your NHS treatment may be free at point of use. The fees if you do have to pay, are lowish and lots of treatments are theoretically covered by a single Band payment in England and Wales:

How much will I pay for NHS dental treatment?

Details of the costs of the 3 NHS charge bands.

www.nhs.uk

Those entitled to free treatment info:

Who is entitled to free NHS dental treatment in England?

You don't have to pay for NHS dental treatment if, when your treatment starts, you're under 18, under 19 and in full-time education, pregnant, or you've had a baby.

www.nhs.uk

 

[odette]

Hey Andy,
I just wanted to say hello. You sound likea very insightful, upstanding individual trying to do the right thing in thisworld when it comes to plotting out your life path. I am sorry that your teethhave become an issue for you.

I first want to say that you are NOT alone,even though it can feel that way when it comes to dental phobia. It’s not likeyou’re suffering from some health issue where it is acceptable to mention itand/or seek support. If you had something like, for example, brittle bones thatcould flare up quite painful, you can talk about it and seek support fromfriends and family members and you would get sympathy.

Instead it is much harder to speak outloud or seek out support for bad teeth or dental phobia. At best you’ll get a “ya,dentist’s suck, man” but more likely you’ll get blamed for having bad teeth inthe first place or made to feel guilty for it.

So ya, it’s not you, society just isn’t very kind towards individuals who have sore teeth and dental phobia. Not much compassion.

I remember being among work mates that Ihad grown very close to. I was in a lot of pain and scared (of the unknown thatwas happening in my mouth) and I really just needed some comfort and waswilling to risk this one time, even just 10 seconds, and I finally kinda brokedown and in less than 30 seconds, confessed what I was going through, and gotthe response of “well, you brought it on yourself, didn’t you”. I never openedmy mouth again. Even though I am only human and sometimes we need comfort andto feel like we’re not alone.

So anyway, I’m glad you’re here taking that risk of opening up to us, because you bringing you here helps makes therest of us feel less alone.

So first things first, I hope you’re not inimmediate pain cuz that can just shut a person right down. If you are, asksomeone for some twists and tricks.

And start reading through the threads andposts and soon you’ll get a sense of who is who. Then read more and built upyour confidence that you can talk to us and we’re all here together and we’rehere to support each other regardless of where you’re at on your dentaljourney.

And then start writing back. We’re here tolisten. Together, we can help lift each other up!

 

[miserybusiness]

I know how you feel, I'm pretty much in the same boat. My confidence has gone way down, after my cap on my tooth looks slightly discoloured for the rest of my teeth, and the tooth next to it also discoloured, and it really is minging. My friends say it that it's not noticeable and it's only me that picks up on it, but I know that it's there so I feel like everyone else is staring.

I hadn't been to the dentist for 3 years until last week where I went for the first time because I called the emergency dentist on the NHS cause my mother told me to, when I got there they just tested my teeth to see if they were okay, and then they looked at the cap which was still fine, but they never changed it, and I still feel like it was pointless. I'm going back there this thursday, and after being scared of the dentist so long, I kinda can't wait to go back there and then try to solve it once again.

The dentist did say that my mouth wasn't in good condition, but I want to get it solved than to have this problem looming over me all the time. The sad thing is that I want my front teeth to be fixed and looked normal, but I don't want them removed. I see people get caps and everything on the teeth and you'd never notice the difference but I can notice mine, and it's really horrible.

I hate my teeth, and find myself envying everyone who has nice pearly whites.