• Dental Phobia Support

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I haven’t been to the dentist since 2010/I have advanced periodontal disease



Junior member
Mar 23, 2021
Walhalla SC
I need help. Back in 2012 I became disabled and was forced to quit my teaching job. I subsequently plunged into a deep deep depression that I just recently came out of. during those years I (not consciously) neglected many many items of self-care related to myself. One of which was my dental hygiene. When I finally came back to myself enough to pay attention, I realized I’m in an advanced state of periodontal disease. Seriously, I have two teeth that are currently broken, I have many cracked teeth, my gums have receded so much you can see a lot of the root (I guess?), I have areas of infection under most of my top gums and and I have an abscess as I type this.
And it’s kind of crazy, because one of my biggest fears has been losing my teeth. I used to have nightmares about it constantly and I still do.

So now I’m for the past few months, I’ve been struggling with my shame and embarrassment and self loathing. I cannot bring myself to call a dentist. I know I need to it just keeps getting worse. My face is completely swollen and I am miserable. I know I’m gonna lose all my teeth, and that just makes me sick. I need help. I need someone to help me make the first phone call I’m afraid I’m going to have a health emergency if I don’t, but every time I try I panic and I can’t breathe and I can’t do it. So I just suffer; a part of me thinks I deserve it because I put myself in this position. As a matter fact my brother told me it is my fault when I asked to borrow money to get some work done that I knew I would need (he said no by the way).

And that’s part of the problem.
I do have dental insurance but it hardly pays anything and I am going to need extensive work done if I there is any possibility to save any teeth and I know I am never going to be able to afford that, hence having to have dentures and that makes me sick as well. Right now my biggest stumbling block is the intense mortifying shame I feel when I imagine anybody looking at my teeth I’ll literally can’t make myself go through that. I can’t do it. I’m sorry for this confusing rambling post. I’m in a panic right now because I was trying to look up dentist in my area and I can’t stop crying and I feel like this is hopeless the whole thing my life my teeth everything I’m sorry.
I’m 50 btw
take a deep breath! Your ok! Please dont beat yourself up over this. I know that's easier said than done, I do it too. I haven't been in years either, until just today. I share your shame, I have been made to feel like garbage from previous dentists and swore I'd never allow myself to be in that position again. My hubs had to make my appointment for me, I couldn't do it, even tho it really was JUST to meet the dentist. I needed to meet him first, see how he reacted to my anxiety and panic disorders. Maybe that could be your first step as well, would that make it a bit easier? I did let him look in my mouth today, which wasn't planned.. but he looked. He didn't judge or say anything bad, but I felt comfortable enough to allow that to happen on our first meeting! Please look around and maybe meet with a few before you decide and pick the one your most comfy with. Most dentists that deal with anxious patients, won't hesitate to meet with you. Anyway, I feel im rambling, sorry for that. Your so strong overcoming such a depressive state! That is definitely a very hard battle! Please do make sure which ever dentist you choose, knows your struggle. They're there to help. Your absolutely on the right path. It takes time and you can go as fast or slow as you want. Im new to all of this myself but I do relate to much of what you've said and pray you are as proud of yourself as you should be! Hold your head high, you've overcome SO much. Please be proud of yourself and get the help you want and need.?? im proud of you. You got this!
So many here can understand what you’re going through. Although our stories are different, I can relate to so much of what you’re saying. I just went to the dentist for the first time in over 10 years today. I, too, have an infected, extremely painful tooth (in a mouth full of other problem teeth). I found a wonderful dentist who is so kind, empathetic, gentle and understanding. I think that is key- finding someone you can trust. Can you do some research online to find a good comfort dentist in your area? How about a friend or family member willing to call and make the appointment for you? Or, you can even send the practice an email and ask how they do with anxious, dental phobic patients. I began communication with my new dental practice this way & I think you can tell a lot by the way they respond to you. I understand that the financial aspect is so, so overwhelming, but remember, you don’t have to do everything at once. You can take care of the biggest, most pressing issues first & move on to the next when you’re ready. You’ve been through so much and you deserve to enjoy a pain free life. I promise you, the right dentist will not judge you. They only want to help you fix the issues bringing you pain. The weight that’s been lifted off of me after ONE visit is indescribable. I know it’s a long toad ahead, but taking the first step feels really good. I wish the same for you. Please keep us posted. ❤️