"I love my dentist" (was: "I hate dentists")

[letsconnect]

I came across the following posts on a U.S.-based dentistry discussion group:


"For the record, I'm getting a little upset every time I hear from a patient, "I hate the dentist."

It sometimes makes me think that I've chosen the wrong profession."
--------

"One of the toughest things about this job is dealing with the negativity associated with dentistry by the general public.

Like XXX says, many times that statement is made instead of:

"I'm afraid" "The last dentist *hurt* me" "You are going to be gentle, aren't you?" "I don't tolerate dental treatment very well"

Several ways to respond:

"I'll do my best to keep you as comfortable as possible"
"Have you had bad experiences with dental treatment in the past?"
"I haven't found a way to make dental treatment *fun*, but I will be as gentle as possible"
"If you really *enjoyed* dental treatment, I'd have to refer you to a psychiatrist (ha, ha)"
"Hmmmmm...I've never heard anyone say that before (ha,ha)"

Talking about it may uncover a need for some type of sedation or other concern relating to anesthesia. I'd rather a patient be up front about their fears and anxieties than to hide them ... Work on being as gentle and painless as possible while being kind and understanding. You will get more "thank you"s and even an occasional hug. That helps out weigh some of the negative stuff we have to deal with. Being able to forget things quickly also helps (gets easier as you get older for some reason .
----------

Several ways to respond:
"Have you had bad experiences with dental treatment in the past?"

This is curious: we were told repeatedly NOT to ask this question, as it
tend to transfer the association between the dentist/unpleasant
situation onto _your_ shoulders, as the patient relives the agony as
s/he describes it. I guess there's a way to ask for just the general
jist of the problem without getting them down to the gory details...

-----------


What is your take on this? In your view, should dentists ask outright about bad experiences in the past? Or do you feel this brings back bad memory which then sort of spoil the atmosphere? And what do other dentists think? Any views are welcome!

 

[Guest]

Re: "I hate dentists"

i know im new to this forum but i feel that my opinion should be stated here i think that dentists since from what i hear dont ask about past expirinces should ask because that would help thme to understand why the patient is frightend and maybe the dentist can take mesures to calm the patients nerves and assure the patient that they will try there best to avoid making the same mistake the last dentist did because if the dentist did make the same mistake it could cost him a patient due to the fact that it could have some mental effects on the patient thus making the patient even more scared of the dentist and make it harder for him/her to go back again at least this would be true for me but being that i cant remember exactly what the dentist did to me beacause i was 5 and all that remains is the fear not the memory but if he made an odvious mistake that could have been avoided and caused me alot of pain id sure as he** think itd be another 11 years before id go back id sooner pull my own tooth

 

[Guest]

Re: "I hate dentists"

There are a few other angles to this.....one - the pt. IMO....has a responsibility to the dentist to disclose both medica;l issues impacting treatment ...as well as past abuse, ect.....including fears, phobias, ect. Two.....if there isnt dialogue between pt. and dentist..any treatment rendered will be more difficult to perform. Communication is crucial to developing the relationship ...without it......forget it. Three ....If issues develop ....deal with it asap- rather than let it fester....and turn into a nasty mess. Dentists....my two cents of unsolicited advice.....at times ...you need to be reminded occasionally that you are treating a human being...not just a set of teeth.....two- You are not omnipotent or God...dont forget that. Three .....if you screw up...we ALL do ..no one is perfect.....and the patient knows you ###### up- ADMIT the mistake-and then remedy the mistake -regardless of time and/or cost.....immediately.....ASAP.Communicate.....the last thing most dentists need or want is a pissed -off patient....that one patient can be a potential PR disaster ...in the form of negative publicity....... Four.....dentists are human beings as well......they need and deserve to be treated with the same respect and civility as we do- until their /or staff,s conduct warrants otherwise. Alittle honest care and empathy to your pt load and their needs might make for more satisfied pts.,and perhaps - a more positive feeling from the encounter............I will be curious as to what feedback this triggers........Keith2

 

[Guest]

Re: "I hate dentists"

I've just been reading this thread and thought I'd throw some more thoughts in.

Most of these issues seem to be concerned with communication between the patient and their dentist.

For the record, I'm getting a little upset every time I hear from a patient, "I hate the dentist."

----

Like XXX says, many times that statement is made instead of: "I'm afraid" "The last dentist *hurt* me" "You are going to be gentle, aren't you?" "I don't tolerate dental treatment very well"

Sometimes people can be so scared or nervous that what they say and what they actually mean can be two very different things. Imagine walking into a sandwich shop because you want a ham sandwich, but because you're so terrified or nervous, you actually ask for a banana instead!

The stigma that many people feel is attached to dental phobia and fear could also be a significant factor in this. Whilst they may actually want to say "I'm afraid" or "You are going to be gentle, aren't you?", they can't because they feel quite isolated in their fear and as if it's them that's the problem. Therefore, many people say things along the lines of "I hate the dentist" because they feel it's a more socially acceptable thing to say - after all, everyone hates the dentist don't they?!

[quote: Several ways to respond:
"Have you had bad experiences with dental treatment in the past?"

This is curious: we were told repeatedly NOT to ask this question, as it tend to transfer the association between the dentist/unpleasant situation onto _your_ shoulders, as the patient relives the agony as s/he describes it.

Although they may not always realise it, the patient has control over what they do and don't choose to tell their dentist about their oral health, their fears, previous experiences and anything else. If someone answers no to this question, it could be that they may have had bad experiences in the past that they don't want to discuss for whatever reason. So they may say no and just hope that the past doesn't repeat itself. On the other hand, someone may say no because, quite simply, it's the truth. If someone says yes, then they have chosen to do so and it's probably because they don't want the past 'bad' events to happen again. The only way they can do this is by voicing their fears. I would think it's better to have the choice - after all, you don't have to tell a dentist about bad experiences if you don't want to. As for the patient reliving the agony as they describe it, I would think that's down to good communication between the patient and their dentist and a fair amount of understanding and patience from the dentist.

Another thing to consider is that answers given can depend on the question that is asked or the way in which it's asked. For example, at my last appointment I was greeted with "Hi, How are you doing?" (or something similar - can't remember exactly - it's a scary blur!). My inner voice was saying something along the lines of "oh my god, I'm so terrified that it's taking every ounce of my strength not to have a panic attack right here, right now..." but the answer I actually gave was "OK". If a different question had been asked such as "Are you nervous?", I might have answered "Yes".

Complicated stuff really....

 

[Guest]

Re: "I hate dentists"

My stock reply is "That's alright, I hate patients", seems to work fine for me.

 

[Guest]

Re: "I hate dentists"

My stock reply is "That's alright, I hate patients", seems to work fine for me.

No patience for patients?

 

[Guest]

Re: "I hate dentists"

LOL ... all I can say is, if it wasn't for Gordon, this message board wouldn't be here now, nor would the website... he's the business

 

[Guest]

Re: "I hate dentists"

Yay for Gordon!

 

[Guest]

Re: "I hate dentists"

My stock reply is "That's alright, I hate patients", seems to work fine for me.

lol! Does the comedy cost extra or does it come as standard?

Although to quote Peter Kay on one of his DVD's, I'd "shake like a sh*tting dog" if this was said to me!!!

 

[michelle34]

Re: "I hate dentists"

EX-dentist hater here. he problem may be that people need to shop around untill they find a good one that they connect with.I have had some nasty experiences from having a hygenist beating the crap out of my gums with floss,leaving them cut and bleeding then the dentist tells me that I have gum disease and I didnt. Then I had a female dentist tell me that I had 28 cavities between my teeth.I didnt.She was also very loud and boisterous,something that makes me nervous anyway. I have had dentists flat out ignore me when the drilling hurts. I lost a molar,it broke on the top,but it was late I think the dentist just wanted to go home. He pulled it,he told me that it was cracked all the way through,it came out in one piece. The dentist I have now has fixed teeth that were broken worse than that one.The final straw came when my son needed a filling,I stayed in the waiting room with my other child,next thing I hear yelling and crying .Turns out the guy tryed doing a filling with NO freezing. He then called my son a wimp. Nice experience for a first filling. So I decided it was time to move on.

My new dentist made a fabulous first impression.He listened,he was warm and approachable,we connected,he's easy to talk to. I went to him because I had broken another tooth,he fixed it and did a great job so I stayed,we get along great and he has a great butt ,sorry had to throw that in.If a person is that uncomfortable with dentists mabe you just dont have the right one because they arent all bad.With any profession you get the good and bad. If I dislike anyone physicians would be at the top of my list.I can honestly say I LOVE MY DENTIST. I hope he never retires. I also like him because he does the freezing himself and he does it slow so I dont feel it at all. I also get to look into his beautiful eyes. .Hmmm mabe I like him too much.Yum.LOL sorry.

 

[duck]

Re: "I hate dentists"

The biggest thing that I had to learn was to lose the phrase, "I hate dentists!" It came to me one day that I couldn't possibly ever hate another human being that I didn't know... By saying that phrase, the whole possibility of a working relationaship went right out the window.

I now say that I am phobic, and that the office and the possibility of treatment of any kind makes me very, very scared and that I hope that he/she won't hold that against me because I know that they are very nice people only working to help me.

Man, has that made a difference.

PS. Man, do I know about the hygienists with the aggressive attitude and tools! Same thing here. I also had a dentist drill three cavities after the novocaine wore off when I was young. An ortho that blew sterilizing solution into my mouth instead of air...goes on and on.

 

[FEEL_SORRY_FOR_ME]

Re: "I hate dentists"

Okay...It really doesn't matter if people hate dentists. We all do. It's a part of life. T.V. Sitcoms poke fun at them, movies are made about them (The Secret Lives of Dentists or Novocaine anyone?) Deal with it! Start a moral support group In your area. Don't be afraid to speak openly about your anxieties to others! I do it all the time - and get more attention that way!
Written by FEEL SORRY FOR ME

 

[Blueangelz]

Re: "I hate dentists"

Michelle34 ....Where exactly IS this dentist.....I might wanna go see him myself...lol.

 

[michelle34]

Re: "I hate dentists"

Hes in a far far away land. I get to see him this week.
I'm begining to wonder if I'm the only person on planet earth who is actually EAGER to see my dentist.
I'm not warped,really.
Hes just so darn good looking AND he does a good job.

 

[vicki]

Re: "I hate dentists"

It sounds like you've got the lurve thing really bad....

I can't say I've actually studied my dentist in that much depth - as soon as I sit in the chair I close my eyes due to sheer terror and panic . Damn! I could be missing out on gazing at someone drop dead gorgeous Hmmm... I think I might have to try and take a tiny peek next time I go...

 

[michelle34]

Re: "I hate dentists"

Well ,were close to the same age and we really have chemistry so mabe eye yam in lurve.

 

[vicki]

Re: "I hate dentists"

Oh well, there's no hope for me then because my dentist is about the same age as me as well! If I ever need an injection, I will make sure I gaze into his eyes... don't know whether they're beautiful or not though - I haven't looked!

 

[michelle34]

Re: "I hate dentists"

You really should,it might be worth it,youll be so nervous about just seeing him that you will forget all about your teeth.I saw him last week,yum.
I cant wait to go again.

 

[vicki]

Re: "I hate dentists"

You think so? I'll give it a try next time I go then and if he asks why I'm gazing , I'll tell him that you told me it might be worth it .

If he turns out to be that good, I'd better hope I don't get all steamed up like I did last time (the plastic safety specs were not only a fashion faux pas but also an 'oh my god I wish the floor would open up and swallow me'! ).

Maybe we should have some sort of picture gallery??

Wow, I can't believe you actually look forward to going!  

 

[michelle34]

Re: "I hate dentists"

He smells sooooo good too ,he doesnt wear any cologne or anything...mmmmmmm . I get to see him again this week. Last appointment for a while though . {sigh}If he only knew......I would die of embarassment.