I made the appointment

[freakout]

Vicky-so glad you got your toothpaste. I can totally relate to your story of panic from hearing the dentists voice. A couple of months back when I was trying to work up the nerve to make an appointment, something similar happened to me. My dentist is in a shopping mall that I pass on my way to work and one day I had to pick up an outfit for a funeral I was to attend the next day. I parked by the store so that I wouldn't have to walk past his office, and I could run in & out quickly. Well much to my surprise as I was walking down the aisle back to my car, he was walking up the aisle . He was looking right at me so I managed to reply Hi as we passed and get into my car. I was shaking so badly that I had to pull over in the parking lot and wait until I could calm down to drive home. But I guess everything happens for a reason, the next day I made an appointment.

 

[vicki]

I'm glad I managed to get the toothpaste, although I am disappointed that I wasn't able to hand the letter over as well . So, I'm hoping that after a bit more 'editing', that I'll be able to post it instead.

Not being able to get the stuff still feels completely crazy to me and I still can't believe how it affects me in this way.

I remember reading your posts on the old board and relating to them when you felt panic after seeing your dentist in the shopping mall. Strange how this thing affects us in so many different ways...

 

[letsconnect]

You did really well going in and actually getting that toothpaste . One thing I've been wondering after reading your post about how to address your dentist in the discussion section - it sounds like you've never really been given the chance to build up a relationship with him, if he hasn't even introduced himself by his name. Or did I get this wrong? If not, that in itself must make things very difficult (and impersonal).

 

[letsconnect]

emotional memory

I came across an article you might find interesting - about emotional memory [broken link removed]. I'll have to reread it myself - it looks very promising!

 

[vicki]

One thing I've been wondering after reading your post about how to address your dentist in the discussion section - it sounds like you've never really been given the chance to build up a relationship with him, if he hasn't even introduced himself by his name. Or did I get this wrong? If not, that in itself must make things very difficult (and impersonal).

I'd not really considered that aspect of it until I read the thread about how to address your dentist - I guess it could be another part of it.

I know that some people aren't always that comfortable with introducing themselves. He could also have assumed at my first appointment, that I already knew how he prefers to be addressed, because I'd already been told that my previous dentist was leaving and received a letter through the post about his replacement .

I've not been asked what I prefer to be called either. I did get asked by the previous dentist because I was more or less a new patient (when I re-registered after a 7 year absence!), but as I never get referred to by name anyway, it's not something that's 'cropped up' with the current one. So in a way, yes it does make things difficult .

I suppose it depends on the type of person as well - some people use the other person's name in the conversation when talking to them and some don't. It is possible to have a conversation with someone without actually referring to them by name - because you both know who each other is (if that makes any sense ).

It probably doesn't help that I don't talk very much at appointments anyway (hard to believe given the length of my posts, I know! I probably talk far too much normally! ).

Fascinating article about emotional memory . I did learn a bit about Implicit/Explicit memory when I was at college as it can relate to advertising and also affect the way you sell things to people or inform them - but we didn't go into that much depth. Some of the points in the article might explain a few things though.

 

[letsconnect]

I find the policy in my dental practice very helpful (dentists introduce themselves by first name and address patients by first name). It must be quite disconcerting when you don't even know how to address someone . It must lend the experience a pretty impersonal feel, I'd imagine.

The article on emotional memory is pretty interesting - I keep meaning to re-read it, but haven't got around to it yet

 

[vicki]

Yes it is disconcerting. Although I don't tend to use a person's name when talking to them because it's pretty obvious that they're the one I'm talking to as I'm usually facing them (probably sounds a bit odd?). It also creates another problem - who to address "the letter" to. It's now finished (or at least I think it is ) and there's only 6 weeks to go. I really wish it was 6 months because I am now at the 'concerned in an anxious kind of way' stage which will gradually get worse until about 2 weeks before when I can't sleep and start taking beta blockers .

The whole experience is pretty impersonal really, if I think about it. I hadn't really considered it from this angle before because all my energy whilst I'm in the building is spent trying to surpress the panic and trying to wish myself a couple of hours into the future. I suppose because it's a fairly large practice, there maybe isn't the time or the inclination on their part to make it a more personal experience . Although the size of the place shouldn't really matter and I know that a lot of it is down to the individual ability to make someone feel more relaxed about things.

 

[letsconnect]

What did you do in the end (regarding the letter)? (and: great to hear about the Plan B - see PM ).

The whole experience is pretty impersonal really, if I think about it. I hadn't really considered it from this angle before because all my energy whilst I'm in the building is spent trying to surpress the panic and trying to wish myself a couple of hours into the future. I suppose because it's a fairly large practice, there maybe isn't the time or the inclination on their part to make it a more personal experience .

It doesn't really take much time to greet someone by their name, or introduce oneself by one's name, I would've thought

 

[vicki]

What did you do in the end (regarding the letter)?

I really wish I'd been able to hand it over when I went for the toothpaste, then perhaps I wouldn't be in such a mess with it now . Because I decided to change a few bits, I'm really struggling, plus I wouldn't know how to address it even though I know who to address it to . I know I've got to do it though because there's no way I'll be able to say anything once I'm in there and I have to sort this out somehow. If the letter was about anything else, I'd normally ask someone else to read through it for another opinion, but I can't because nobody knows anything about this (apart from everyone on here) .

I am really starting to wish I had a big blue sofa to hide behind right now because 5 weeks today, I'll be sat in 'the chair' and the fear is starting to kick in now.

It doesn't really take much time to greet someone by their name, or introduce oneself by one's name, I would've thought

No I don't think it does take much time either but I suppose everyone's different

I have come across it before - I've been to quite a few hospital appointments where I've met a doctor for the first time and they've not introduced themselves. They assume that you know who they are because their name is on the appointment letter and also sometimes on the door - so they think they can dispense with the introductions on their part.  

 

[letsconnect]

One thing that struck me - why not send the letter off to the other recommendation you got as well? That way, you'll have a chance to "compare responses" (if they have the time to respond)...

If you want to run the letter past anyone without publishing it "for the whole world to see", I'm sure that other moderators (incl. myself) won't mind having a read through it.