• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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I need help and I’m so worried 😟

J

jneighties

Junior member
Joined
Apr 24, 2024
Messages
15
Location
England
Hi all,

Firstly I’d just like to say how thankful I am I found this forum, it makes me feeling less alone.

I am absolutely terrified of the dentist due to a bad experience as a teenager.

I’m a 41 year old woman who suffers badly with depression & anxiety, through my own fault I have neglected my oral health massively, I’m so embarrassed 😞

I have a large build up of tartar on the back of my bottom teeth & the front, I don’t go out, I’ve lost all my friends due to the sheer embarrassment of my teeth, they’re so uncomfortable day to day, I don’t have much pain just a really uncomfortable feeling in my mouth and it’s all I ever think about, it affects my day to day life constantly. I finally plucked up the courage to ring the dental hospital and ask for help/advice, they gave me an emergency appointment at a local dentist and yesterday I attended that appointment, I cried and apologised to the dentist at the state of my teeth, she was so lovely and said my teeth are literally ‘cemented in’ due to the tartar and I told me I had a gum infection for which she prescribed me antibiotics, she then told me there was nothing else she could do as it didn’t warrant an ‘emergency appointment’ she then sent me on my way with my prescription and a number to ring to find a dentist who’re taking NHS patients (I can’t afford to go private because I’d do it in a heartbeat if I could) It took so much in me to finally get in that chair and I feel like I’ve taken 2 steps forward and a 100 back, I’m so disheartened.

I just want to be me again, I want to smile without covering my mouth, I’m currently ringing every dentist in the area.

How I wish I’d took better care of my teeth.

Hopefully I’ll find one and finally take that step to get sorted.
 
Hi jneighties :welcome: ,

thank you so much for sharing your story with us, I know it wasn't easy. You've been incredibly brave for seeing that dentist and I am glad she was kind to you. I see how it would be so disheartening to make that huge step and still not feeling like a progress was made, but believe me, you have started that journey and this all is a part of it. You have managed to get into that chair once and you'll absolutely be able to do it again. Also, any good experience with a kind dentist is great and will help you long term.
Reading how you're ringing every dentist in the area? What a courage and dedication! :claps: You'll absolutely find someone helpful soon.

I am absolutely terrified of the dentist due to a bad experience as a teenager.

I’m a 41 year old woman who suffers badly with depression & anxiety, through my own fault I have neglected my oral health massively, I’m so embarrassed 😞

This one stuck with me. I am 100% sure that you haven't neglected your oral health through your own fault. I do believe it feels that way, but before making such a harsh judgement, I'd be curious whether there was anyone in your life who would kindly and lovingly make sure you had all the information about how oral health works. Also someone who would make sure you'd enjoy taking care of your teeth or at least keep up with it in that stage of life where we all just hated brushing teeth. Also, depression & anxiety have such a huge impact on ability to care for yourself and you haven't chosen those either...

Good luck on this journey, feel free to write here as much as you like and please keep us posted :grouphug:
 
@Enarete

Thank you for your kind reply, I knew I wasn’t the only one but finding this forum has made me feel less alone.

I know I didn’t do it purposely but I take full responsibility, my depression didn’t help at all, I also have severe health anxiety which affects me massively day to day, sometimes it’s a struggle to do anything but as a mum of 3 that takes priority and I’ve always taught my children about oral hygiene (I often wonder if they think I’m a hypocrite lol), younger me was obsessive about it until the bad dentist experience.

I rang 27 dentists and still had no luck just ‘ring back in a month’ but I’m going to ring weekly.

Again thank you for your reply ♥️
 
See if you can find a hygienist who offers sonic cleaning. I had my first one last month after no cleanings in 7 years. Hated the old fashioned scraping and bleeding. Sonic was like a gum massage. Unreal. I almost cried from relief.
 
Seconding the sonic cleaning. I'm around the same age (42) and also basically had my bottom front teeth "cemented in" with tartar (I couldn't even get floss between some of them prior to the cleaning). It looked pretty disgusting with added dark brown coffee stains, but the cleaning itself wasn't bad at all and they look so much better. The waiting is definitely the hardest part, hopefully someone can get you in soon <3
 
Just thought I’d pop back on and update people.

I had my first assessment today with the nicest lady I’ve ever met, she instantly put me at ease, it’s been 23 years since I saw a dentist and the nerves I had leading up to this appointment were causing my anxiety to sky rocket and it was keeping me awake at night.

I walked into my appointment and broke down, I apologised profusely for the state of my oral health and she was so lovely, she examined my teeth/gums gently all whilst explaining what she was doing and making sure I was ok.

I have to have a thorough clean which is booked in for tomorrow, the hygienist came in and introduced herself and her dental nurse and again 2 of the nicest people on this earth, the dental nurse even told me to put in the requests because she’s going to sing to me 😂

I’m still slightly nervous as I know these long years of fear don’t just disappear but I feel much more at ease.

Hands down the best thing I’ve done in a long while.

I hope others get a little bit of comfort from my experience, I feel so much better 🥹
 
That's wonderful news @jneighties, thank you so much for the update. Brilliant to hear that you had such a good experience with your new dentist, hygienist, and nurse! They all sound lovely :cloud9:

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow, please let us know how you got on!
 
See if you can find a hygienist who offers sonic cleaning. I had my first one last month after no cleanings in 7 years. Hated the old fashioned scraping and bleeding. Sonic was like a gum massage. Unreal. I almost cried from relief.
 
Good Afternoon everyone.

Well I’m back from my sonic cleaning and all those worries I’ve had for 20+ years were for nothing, I have minimal bone loss, I need 2 fillings and they’ve been thoroughly cleaned, all tatar/calculus has gone and I feel absolutely made up and can’t believe I spent so many years putting it off.

It was quite uncomfortable at times but nothing I couldn’t handle.

I am so unbelievably happy I even shed a tear when she showed me the before & after.

What a feeling!

I hope my positive experience helps others face that fear.
 
That is great news @jneighties - so happy for you! Congratulations 🥳 !!! Hope you'll get a chance to celebrate your success, and thanks so much for sharing your positive experience here 😊
 
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