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I really need some supporters please (New Dentures)

P

Poppa

Junior member
Joined
May 24, 2015
Messages
3
Hi, my names Chris. I'm writing to you today because I am very very very upset. I cannot get over the fact that the woman I love so very very much, of 27 years got her dentures Friday. She's 42 years old. She's lived with bad teeth for the last 10-12 years. She was diagnosed with Periodontal disease and that had progressed for years, lost lots of bone, after two opinions and our own thoughts about it, we finally talked it over and we both agreed dentures was the way to go. She was tired of the pain, her smile, and just everything about her natural teeth. We live on a very limited income and implants we just cannot afford. How I wish we could, because at this point I'm more afraid than she is. I suffer from depression, anxiety, bipolar, social issues and just constant sadness, I can't find a happy place anymore in my life. She is my happy place. I love her more than I love myself. She's golden, she's brave, strong, kind hearted and there's never a day she is not happy. For her to be going through this is killing me.


Well Friday, she was a trooper. She got them all pulled and got immediate dentures because she didn't want to go without teeth. As far as I can tell, she's doing great. Way better than I would be taking it. I don't know how to be strong for her. I swear she cried none yesterday and I cried all day, several times throughout the day. I can't get past it. The dentures don't bother me. I'm eat up with guilt because I as a man fell into this state of depression, social issues, and always worrying about what other people think that I haven't been able to work for awhile now. And I blame myself for not having a job which would have provided dental insurance, and maybe this would have never happened. I've cried so much, I'm even crying now. She hasn't complained one bit really. But I can tell she's a little frustrated. She's mainly having trouble swallowing and she also gags often. It makes me so sad for her. I want to help her but I don't know how.

Saturday was just as good but she did have a moment where she cried. She cried not because of pain, but because she can't feel anything in her mouth anymore. She doesn't understand how she'll be able to eat anything. She's afraid of getting choked on jello. She can't feel it and even after letting it sit in her mouth, since she can only feel it on her tongue,she doesn't know when to swallow. Like say in the future, a hamburger for example. How would she eat it? How with not being able to feel the size of the food with top and bottom dentures in place is she supposed to learn that the size of the food is safe to swallow. I got her to try a tic tac, I read that sucking on candy helped in some way. My mom a denture wearer said she too is afraid to suck on candy, but I did read several different places that sucking on candy helped. But she immediately spit it out. Her reason,she couldn't feel it and feared it'd slip down her throat. This so far has been her only concern. She CANNOT see it ever happening and it has her be discouraged. Even to the point where already she has wished for her - as she called them - her jacked up teeth back.


I guess my main questions would be will she adapt, will she be able to swallow, she gags on occasion, will the gagging stop? She seems to talk a little different. And for me, the worst part is when I look at her I miss seeing her face the way it was. It looks a bit different and it makes me sad. I feel, and this is me not her, I feel that inside she feels lost,lonely, sad, etc but is trying to be so strong for me, because she knows I'm so fragile. I just can't stop crying. Please tell me something, anything please. Am I too having to adjust to her new look, will the day come where it won't be as noticeable to me? I love her no matter what and were only on day 2. We both researched and researched and knew what to expect. I just didn't intend for me to fall to pieces because my heart goes out to her and I feel that there's nothing I can do.


She is the kindest person I've even met in the entire world. She's my wife, the mother of my three boys. She's always happy, always smiling and nothing ever gets her down. I'm so afraid. I guess I just wanted to get some stuff off my chest. She doesn't deserve this. She deserves better than me. This transition may in fact be harder on me than it will be her, she's that strong. I just wish y'all knew her. You'd know the beautiful woman she is inside and out, with or without teeth. I'm just scared for her. I love her so much.


If you have any kind words, advice, tips (mainly with the fear of choking I guess) or any tips for that matter please please please don't hesitate to reply. I'm an emotional mess anyway and any and all advice is appreciated. But if you will, overlook where I talked about my issues, because I can deal with it. What I can't deal with is not being able to help her. This entire family's happiness revolves around this wonderful woman I call my wife and the mother of our three children. Please, I'm reaching out to anyone. Can you give us hope?




Sent from my iPad
 
It's a very sudden change, to go from having teeth to dentures! There's always an adjustment period. But she will adjust, I promise.

The changes to your eating habits can feel more significant than anyone would guess. Your body is very accustomed to your old rhythm of eating: food in, chew-chew-chew, swallow. Changing that can feel strange in a whole bunch of ways. With dentures I found that it took me longer to chew. My stomach would complain when it took me ages to chew, because it was used to getting the food earlier. I would also often swallow before things were properly chewed, out of impatience, and that's uncomfortable. Maybe your wife did that, and that's the basis of her fear? She's so unlikely to choke though, trust me, I've swallowed all manner of un-chewed things in my haste, and I've never choked. It's just uncomfortable and can give you some stomach pain. Not advisable by any means, but not deadly! She won't choke on jello! I'm sure the gagging will stop too. It's not uncommon to begin with; I gagged a bit too.

As for the rest of it, her voice will go back to normal once her tongue learns its way around again. This happens quicker than you'd think. I'm guessing that she got immediate dentures put in, immediately after the teeth were removed? These will be imperfect most times, because the dentist has to guess what shape your gums will be after the teeth are gone. They can adjust dentures easily. My immediates were god-awful at first, but they adjusted them to fit better. They still made my top lip sit funny, but the permanent ones I got made after my gums had settled look more natural.

It's an adjustment period for both of you. It's going to be hard. I know how easy it is to get upset, to feel despair and wonder if everything is ruined, if you'll ever feel normal again. Just give it time! Try and keep busy for the next few days, both of you, to stop you dwelling. You can help her by letting her vent her fears but reminding her that it *will* get better! All she needs is time and practice.

Hugs to both of you :hug4: x
 
When it comes to eating, most people are able to adapt pretty well. My mom eats normally and she's had her lowers for about 15 months and the uppers about 2 years. My aunt has had her uppers for about 15 months and she's adapted pretty well. I think about the only thing she has problems w/ is cole slaw if its the type that has the larger shredded cabbage. When my grandparents were still around, but b4 they had to go to a soft food diet in their final years, i don't remember either of them having problems eating.

Even to the point where already she has wished for her - as she called them - her jacked up teeth back.

trust me, shes not alone. i'm in the young category here for partial wearers. I got them when i was 25, currently 26.

I had dental work done last year(early may for 7 lower extractions and late april last for 7 upper ones) after being a dental phob for about 17 years and i've been having partial issues since then. And yea i did try to get issues sorted out, about 12 trips last year, and i still have issues w/ eating. Wearing them i can tolerate them for about 4 - 6 hours out of my 1 8 hour session every eighth day, rest of the time from the session, i have to fight the urge to take them out.

About 2 weeks after my work is when i officially stated on my journal here that i regret my journey. Still do to this day.

At this point, i'm not even living a life anymore, i'm living in survival mode. i'm Spending most my days either having REALLY bad days of regretting my journey and catching flash backs or i'm spending my days thankful that i'm not having a bad day or spending my days trying to fight off bad days. today is one of those days that falls into the VERY rare catagory of i'm able to block everything out my mind and try to have a normal day.

My video game and lego hobby help a little but not that much anymore.
 
I want to thank you so very much. Your message made me breathe a sigh of relief for the first time in 5 days. I'm crying my eyes out as I write this. I've ALWAYS been emotion, even before this. I'd spend hours and hours and days and days on researching about maybe a new plant I had purchased that wasn't growing right. And that's little simple stuff. So you can imagine how I've racked my brain for days now. Honestly, she's ate more than I since Friday. I have barely been able to eat anything worrying and stressing over this and have had very little sleep. It's 5am and all I've done is think and talk about it all day, either with my son or inside my own head. Thank you for reminding me that this is a process. We knew it too, but I guess when it happened, we wasn't as prepared as we thought. Actually, she already doing a little better. She drinking with them now, sipping her liquids, drinking water, the gagging has stopped. She talks pretty darn good for day 5. I seriously thank you from the bottom of my heart. Please please pm me so we can keep in touch. ???


It's a very sudden change, to go from having teeth to dentures! There's always an adjustment period. But she will adjust, I promise.

The changes to your eating habits can feel more significant than anyone would guess. Your body is very accustomed to your old rhythm of eating: food in, chew-chew-chew, swallow. Changing that can feel strange in a whole bunch of ways. With dentures I found that it took me longer to chew. My stomach would complain when it took me ages to chew, because it was used to getting the food earlier. I would also often swallow before things were properly chewed, out of impatience, and that's uncomfortable. Maybe your wife did that, and that's the basis of her fear? She's so unlikely to choke though, trust me, I've swallowed all manner of un-chewed things in my haste, and I've never choked. It's just uncomfortable and can give you some stomach pain. Not advisable by any means, but not deadly! She won't choke on jello! I'm sure the gagging will stop too. It's not uncommon to begin with; I gagged a bit too.

As for the rest of it, her voice will go back to normal once her tongue learns its way around again. This happens quicker than you'd think. I'm guessing that she got immediate dentures put in, immediately after the teeth were removed? These will be imperfect most times, because the dentist has to guess what shape your gums will be after the teeth are gone. They can adjust dentures easily. My immediates were god-awful at first, but they adjusted them to fit better. They still made my top lip sit funny, but the permanent ones I got made after my gums had settled look more natural.

It's an adjustment period for both of you. It's going to be hard. I know how easy it is to get upset, to feel despair and wonder if everything is ruined, if you'll ever feel normal again. Just give it time! Try and keep busy for the next few days, both of you, to stop you dwelling. You can help her by letting her vent her fears but reminding her that it *will* get better! All she needs is time and practice.

Hugs to both of you :hug4: x
 
When it comes to eating, most people are able to adapt pretty well. My mom eats normally and she's had her lowers for about 15 months and the uppers about 2 years. My aunt has had her uppers for about 15 months and she's adapted pretty well. I think about the only thing she has problems w/ is cole slaw if its the type that has the larger shredded cabbage. When my grandparents were still around, but b4 they had to go to a soft food diet in their final years, i don't remember either of them having problems eating.

Id id also like to thank you as well. To hear that your Mom and Aunt do pretty well gives me hope too. Don't get me wrong I've read many success stories. I think it has to do with each individual. And I'm hoping it'll work for her. Actually praying it'll work for her. So thank you for lifting my spirits and giving me hope that soon she will possible be able to eat.



trust me, shes not alone. i'm in the young category here for partial wearers. I got them when i was 25, currently 26.

I had dental work done last year(early may for 7 lower extractions and late april last for 7 upper ones) after being a dental phob for about 17 years and i've been having partial issues since then. And yea i did try to get issues sorted out, about 12 trips last year, and i still have issues w/ eating. Wearing them i can tolerate them for about 4 - 6 hours out of my 1 8 hour session every eighth day, rest of the time from the session, i have to fight the urge to take them out.

About 2 weeks after my work is when i officially stated on my journal here that i regret my journey. Still do to this day.

At this point, i'm not even living a life anymore, i'm living in survival mode. i'm Spending most my days either having REALLY bad days of regretting my journey and catching flash backs or i'm spending my days thankful that i'm not having a bad day or spending my days trying to fight off bad days. today is one of those days that falls into the VERY rare catagory of i'm able to block everything out my mind and try to have a normal day.

My video game and lego hobby help a little but not that much anymore.

As far as you and yoir journey go. It saddens me that you feel this way. I honestly feel like I'd feel the same way. At this point, if I had just gotten dentures I'd be devastated. I wouldn't want anyone to see me. But that's because I am so self conscious and have been my entire life. So I know I wouldn't handle it well. I'm having a hard time getting adjusted to her and I can only imagine how upset it'd probably make me. But she's a trooper, always has been and is the happiest woman I've ever met. I hope if you do say prayers as I often don't myself, but have prayed more here lately than I have in a long time. But if you do pray, say a prayer for her tonight (Her name is Beth). Cause you can bet I'll be saying one for you. I hope you find peace within yourself to accept who you are and love life. I've spent years now just in a deep depression. I'm surprised it hasn't killed me. There's not much I feel inside anymore some days, but I love my wife and my three kids. I "feel love" and I believe that if you surround yourself with love nothing else matters. I'm just having a difficult time cause I feel for her and want this to be an easy journey if at all possible. Thank you for everything. Please keep in touch.
 
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