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I think I'm losing my mind

P

PrincessJJ

Junior member
Joined
Jul 3, 2019
Messages
16
Location
Pennsylvania
I need to apologize if my post sounds crazy, I feel like I'm legitimately losing my mind. My story is long and probably boring but I feel like it needs some background info.

I had no major issues with the dentist until I was an adult (although I stopped going for years).

Several years ago (maybe 8?) I had a bad toothache in my 2nd molar on my left side. I went to the dentist in our town to get it taken care of. It was a deep filling. He gave me one round of local. A few minutes later I started feeling significant pain so I raised my hand. He gave me a 2nd round. Same deal, pain came back within minutes and he told me I had more than enough local for a woman (exact quote). I was in agony and that started my fear of going to the dentist.

A few years after that I was munching on doritos when my 1st molar just broke. I decided to go to a sedation dentist. They pulled it using nitrous and gave me 8 rounds of local. I felt pain but to be honest, I didn't care at all (thanks to the nitrous). A few days after the extraction I started getting nerve pain in that side of my face. Dentist prescribed an antibiotic over the phone which didn't work. I went back (10 days post extraction) and he said he didn't know what was wrong but maybe dry socket. He gave me some gel in a tube and said it would fix it. The pain never went away but I stopped chewing on that side for the most part so it was manageable.

I had dental insurance at that point so decided to woman up and start seeing a dentist for preventive care. The closest in network dentist was an hour from me. He prescribed valium for awhile before appointments but it didn't work whatsoever so I told him I didn't need it at that point (why take a pill that doesn't work). My 1st molar that had the deep cavity kept chipping. The dentist would fix it without local several times. It would hurt but nothing unbearable. Last June, he decided to replace the entire filling. I got home and realized I couldn't even close my mouth on that side. I called the next day and they had me come back (2 hours round trip) to adjust my bite. For some reason that hurt a lot. I continued having pain in that tooth and had to go back 2 other times to get my bite adjusted. After 2 months (and lots of sensodine), the pain finally diminished and I only had the mild nerve pain that started after the extraction.

Needless to say, my trust issues with that dentist were lost so I did what most people with dental anxiety do and skipped my next appointment.

A few weeks ago the right side of my mouth started hurting when I brushed my teeth. The same night it started my husband complained about his tooth hurting (yes ladies, he falls quite ill with the man flu a lot). However he decided he needed a dentist urgently and found one a half hour away. The dentist decided the tooth needed to be extracted and he was in the back for three hours. Like many of you, I get nightmares with just the thought of being in the chair for 3 hours. Hubs was also in horrible pain and was not prescribed pain meds.

Back to me, my gum pain continued. It also started mildly aching when I ate. The mild pains got worse last weekend. I spent the weekend living off milkshakes and smoothies. I wasn't sure what to do so I decided to pay cash for a local dentist. He told me I had a thing in my gums and a cracked molar which couldn't be fixed because the crack was verticle and on the bottom of the molar. He decided to do something with my gums and did the shots. We were talking for a few minutes when the shot wore off. He was surprised but did another round (he used the wand needle and I didnt feel a thing). I told him just to do it without waiting because some numbing is better than no numbing. It was painful but I actually liked the dentist. He let me have total control and asked my permission before doing anything which is big in my book.

Obviously I had some pain afterwards but i decided i needed some real protein in my diet and ate some crockpot cooked chicken (mushy). I chewed on my left side and the mild nerve pain turned into severe nerve pain. It lasted for hours. I was literally doing shots of vodka so I could sleep. I went to lunch with my parents yesterday and ordered a salad. Same deal, I chewed on the left side and all hell broke loose. I tried eating leftover chicken and salad for breakfast and the same thing happened.

I cannot for the life of me understand why the opposite side of my mouth hurts more than a tooth that's cracked below the gum line.

I know I needed to go back to the dentist but I can't afford Dr. Trustworthy. My husband made an appointment with his dentist and needless to say I am freaking out. His dentist doesn't have nitrous and I may literally lose my mind if I have to go to him.

I also feel like he won't believe me if I tell him about the excruciating nerve pain I'm now experiencing (because who gets increased pain years after an extraction). I'm terrified of feeling every second of the extraction (3 dentists have now witnessed how local doesn't work on me so its obviously an it's me, not them situation. I'm terrified of the stupid nerve pain started on the right side after the extraction. I have tried every day to get money to go to Dr. Trustworthy but I can't do it. I have tried calling around to other dentists and nobody is accepting new patients with my insurance.

I warned you this was long. I honestly feel so lost and scared right now. I was to find a dentist who will promise me they can fix everything with no pain. I want somebody to be able to tell me why I want my cheek to chin amputated when I eat on that side.

I'm sure most of you have probably close this thread and are thinking I'm crazy. Trust me I feel crazy and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.
 
You are not crazy.

You are 100% rational.

You have objectively experienced pain in a specific area after dental interventions.

I have no idea what the solution is (not a dentist), but of the very real problems you listed, being crazy is not one of them.
 
You are not crazy. I have similar issues, where I have unexplained pain, and no one can figure out why my teeth are all of a sudden going bad, one after another (losing the fourth one, with two more hurting). I have had multiple people, including my husband, tell me that it is in my head. For a while I thought it was in my head, and it was terrifying.
It is hard on you mentally and physically.

I hope you can get some relief and a diagnoses!
 
Princessjj,

I 100% agree with DG6300! You are not crazy and have absolutely been through alot and have made it this far , so that qualifies for a very strong and brave person if you ask me. Even if that is not exactly felt right now.

I very much empathize with your story and am so sorry for all you are going through. it is alot. Alot of physical and mental suffereing and none of your fault. Its your body and things happening to it and that is super stressful.

"Same deal, pain came back within minutes and he told me I had more than enough local for a woman (exact quote). I was in agony and that started my fear of going to the dentist. "

I had a dentist once tell similiar during a root canal. he gives one shot and that is the right dose and enough for everybody , he told me "its ok if I'm in a little pain". well.. I didn't really think so but I was in a vulnerable place, and so I let him finish in excruciating pain.. never went back.. Thank God.. he was awful and super unempathtic, Have since learned root canals don't have to be painful at all.

"Needless to say, my trust issues with that dentist were lost so I did what most people with dental anxiety do and skipped my next appointment "

This would be quite normal under the circumstances.. I'd probably freeze and just avoid too

"We were talking for a few minutes when the shot wore off. He was surprised but did another round (he used the wand needle and I didnt feel a thing). I told him just to do it without waiting because some numbing is better than no numbing. It was painful but I actually liked the dentist. He let me have total control and asked my permission before doing anything which is big in my book."

This dentist sounds very sensitive and helpful.. He'd be big in my book and sounds like he gave you a slight bit of hope at lease being kind and listening .

"I know I needed to go back to the dentist but I can't afford Dr. Trustworthy. My husband made an appointment with his dentist and needless to say I am freaking out. His dentist doesn't have nitrous and I may literally lose my mind if I have to go to him. "

Does your husband know how nitrous helps you? would he understand if you tried to find someone who offers this? aghh. That is so hard it seems to help a bit at least, I know If I had to go I would want to give myself every positive I could to help myself survive it with all you are going through. just read more again and seems you have tried about everything to find someone who takes your insurance.. Its so hard when finances are a major part of not finding the right person due to limitations on insurance. I had medicaid many years ago when I was young adult in 20's and it was nearly impossible to find a good trustworthy dentist who took this. finally did.

I don't even really know what else to say but keep posting your frustrations and experiences here because there are many who have been through the same thing, can identify and empathize with you and want to support you !! I really am hoping that your husbands dentist if you can find a way to help in a kind way.. I wish you could get dental work painfree someday soon and find the answers to all the questions and not have to live in this pain. :grouphug:
 
Thank you for all your responses. It helps me feel not so alone. I have been crying since I woke up this morning. The throbbing in the left side of my face has hit epic proportions. I would go to the ER but I know they can't do anything. I think my only option at this point is to go to the dentist appointment on Thursday. I can't even imagine dealing with this for another 5 days. I haven't found anything on google to help. Ice makes it worse, I'm already taking too much advil and tylenol and I even tried one of my husband's naproxen. I put origel on every single tooth on the left hand side without relief. I haven't been able to eat anything even yogurt for over 36 hours. I can at least drink water without effecting the left side so although I'm starving, I don't have to worry about dehydration.

Thank you again for your response. It helps so much to know I'm not alone with this.
 
What you’re going through sounds extremely painful and overwhelming. I don’t think you’re crazy. Thursday seems a long time to wait; maybe if you call when the office reopens they can squeeze you in?

I hope you feel some relief soon.
 
I went to my husband's dentist this morning. He refused to do anything because of my anxiety. I told him I would do it with just local and he said I have to go to an oral surgeon. I can't even find an oral surgeon near me that has an appointment before September. I am so lost and frustrated right now. I'm still crying and both sides of my face still hurt. Of course he wouldn't offer pain relief besides telling me to take advil and tylenol even though I am already taking way over the recommended dosage for both.

He did tell me the nerve pain could have been caused by a previous dentist severing the nerve with the novacane needle and it's not from TMJ.

I'm spiraling so fast right now. I can't even handle the thought of this pain continuing for a day longer much less over a month.

Thanks for listening
 
I'm sorry to hear you are in so much pain and that you didn't get any relief from your visit today. Not sure if you tried this already but there was a time where I grinding my teeth and putting a warm wet washcloth on my jaw felt really soothing. Did the dentist office offer any help with referring you to a surgeon and setting up an appointment? It seems like that is the least they could have done, and possibly helped with getting things expedited.

With your insurance plan are you in a HMO or community/state plan that limits you to which dentist you can see? If that is the case I know it can be difficult to find dentist that accept the coverage. Some dentist do offer payment plans or accept things like CareCredit so if you can afford it that may be another option.
 
Princessjj,

So sorry to hear that too.. Just a thought, wondering are any of these an emergency dentist? I ask as my dentist I see is an emergency dentist, he has more alot of experience with getting people out of immediate pain, has a wide variety of experience because of this .. and is very good with anxious patients, calm and patient.. because its just what he does everyday deal with people who are in severe pain and a bit panicked about it . not that all emergency dentists are like this, but it might be something to look into if there is one near to you that may help you get out of pain quicker in a very compassionate way..
 
I'm sorry to hear you are in so much pain and that you didn't get any relief from your visit today. Not sure if you tried this already but there was a time where I grinding my teeth and putting a warm wet washcloth on my jaw felt really soothing. Did the dentist office offer any help with referring you to a surgeon and setting up an appointment? It seems like that is the least they could have done, and possibly helped with getting things expedited.

He gave me a printout of local oral surgeons. Unfortunately I'm on state insurance and only 3 accept it.
 
My husband is trying to expand his line of credit at the bank so I can go back to the dentist who doesn't take my insurance (but I really liked). There is no way I can pay for an oral surgeon out of pocket. I really hope they let him.
 
My husband was able to expand the line of credit so I called dentist #1 (who I liked) and they don't do extractions. My husband then found a third dentist and I had an appointment on Thursday. It was honestly one of the most awful experiences of my life. He said the tooth looks fine and didnt see a crack so he wouldn't pull the tooth. I would have been fine with that but he kept poking my gum with the pointy thing to recreate the pain. He then called my husband over and poked it again to show my husband the inflammation. I was in tears it hurt so much. He then told me the only way to relieve the pain was to get his $421 mouthguard. He said the one every other dentist recommended would destroy all my lower teeth. The world not let me leave the chair (literally) until I purchased their mouthguard. I kept telling them it wasnt even a possibility financially so they tried to convince my husband. I was so mad at that point I forced my way out and left. They (dentist and assistant) kept pressuring my husband when I took my son to the car. They charged us for an exam and x-rays even though they didnt do an x-ray.

My husband was able to get me an appointment with the new corporate owned dental place in our town yesterday. They took me back and insisted on doing 18 x-rays plus a panoramic. I told the assistant I was only interested in the area with the pain and she told me it would be free if I got all the x-rays but expensive if I only focused on that one area. The red flags were flying at that point. I was sure they were going to find some very expensive problems that needed to be fixed. The dentist came in and gently examined the sore area. He was honest and said it was infected and wasnt sure what was causing the infection. He did put me on oral antibiotics and gave me a referral for a gum specialist. He said he thinks it could be the top wisdom tooth cutting into the gum but wasnt sure. I was disappointed but he said I should get some relief with the antibiotics within 24 hours. The appointment really was free and he didn't find any other problems so I admit I was wrong about my initial impression.

I've now taken 5 doses of amoxicillin and I'm not getting any relief which is depressing. I also tried to find a periodontist who takes my insurance and apparently it's not covered although I'm going to call my insurance company tomorrow to double check.

The only good news is I discovered protein water which I can actually tolerate (sensory issues prevent me from eating/drinking anything thick and I am lactose intolerant and can't handle large amounts of dairy)so I'm not starving 24/7 and the nerve pain on the left has calmed down although I still refuse to chew on that side because I don't want to risk another flare.

Thank you all for your support. It means a lot that your willing to follow this thread and offer support. I don't feel like I'm so alone. My husband has been great but he doesn't understand the sheer terror of actually walking into a dentist office much less going through with the appointment.
 
Don't really have much advice but that first appointment sounds horrible. No one should feel like they are being forced into treatment or forced to buy something so I'm glad you were able to get out of there.

I find it strange that you are getting so many different opinions (its a nerve issue, grinding, an infection, a crack, etc.) If you are seeking out a specialist there are some that offer free consolations/second opinions. It might be worth looking into even if they are out of network.
 
Don't really have much advice but that first appointment sounds horrible. No one should feel like they are being forced into treatment or forced to buy something so I'm glad you were able to get out of there.

I find it strange that you are getting so many different opinions (its a nerve issue, grinding, an infection, a crack, etc.) If you are seeking out a specialist there are some that offer free consolations/second opinions. It might be worth looking into even if they are out of network.


I was able to get two appointments for tomorrow with periodontists. The first is covered by my insurance but is a two hour drive each way. The second is going to be $99 for the consultation but is only 5 minutes away. My husband wants me to do the consultation at the local place and save the insurance covered place in case the treatment is a lot of money. I still haven't decided what I want to do although I like my husbands idea.
 
Terribly sorry how that apt on Thursday went.. or better to say it made me shocked and speechless, I can't believe you got treated like this.. have you considered a complaint? Glad the last dentist was gentle and treated you better.

So the next step is looking for a gum specialist?
 
"I was so mad at that point I forced my way out and left. They (dentist and assistant) kept pressuring my husband when I took my son to the car. They charged us for an exam and x-rays even though they didnt do an x-ray."

How they treated you , I agree with Enarete.. shocked is what I would be.. I couldn't believe someone to be so agressive and bullyish .. but they are out there and looks like you found one.. agh.. Glad he next place was better.. and also really glad you stuck up in this situation and didn't stay there and go for their bullyish ways of the first place. agh..

Really hope the next places will be kind and competant and able to help in a compassionate and good way..
 
I went to the periodontist today. Talk about a thorough appointment. They took another 18 x-rays and several pictures. The periodontist then came in and started the exam while calling out numbers. He said he couldn't do anything because it's not a gum issue. He said that my teeth shifted when I got the molar on the left side extracted. Now my upper wisdom tooth is pressing into the bottom molar in a bad way and part of it is poking into my gum. He said my bottom tooth is now shifting around which inflamed the periodontal ligament. It looks like my top wisdom tooth is at an angle and the sharp end part is going into my gums when I bite down. I'm still slightly confused but he said he couldn't do anything because my gums were in good shape. His assistant wrote me a referral for our local hospital's oral surgeon and sent the x-rays over for me. Of course they don't have an appointment open until October.

I'm back to square one at this point. I know I should just go back to dentist #4 to get it done but I cannot handle the thought of walking into one more dentists office without losing my mind and especially not one who doesn't use sedation. I am so emotionally done at this point. I'm sure I'll be able to put on my big girl panties in a few days and do it but now I just want to lay on my couch and cry.
 
At least you know what the issue is now, seems like dentist #4 was right. The wait time seems rather long. Is there any specific reason they recommended you do this in a hospital setting and not with another oral surgeon?
 
I'm sure I'll be able to put on my big girl panties in a few days and do it but now I just want to lay on my couch and cry.

Sometimes things just get too much and it's time to just take a break and be kind to yourself. You already have shown great endurance and it sounds like now it's time to put things aside for a while. Sending you a virtual hug and hope you have enough space and support for processing it all and settle a bit. Venting sometimes helps (and so does pyjama, chocolate and a good cry) so feel free to write as much as you need, we are here to listen :grouphug:

All the best wishes, take care, keep us posted and again, you have come a huge way, even if it maybe doesn't look like it.
 

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