I thought I was getting better but...

[FearfulInMA]

But then I got an email this morning to confirm my upcoming dental appointment for a week from today. It's *only* for a cleaning/x-rays/exam, but getting the email this morning just sent me into a total tailspin. A huge rush of anxiety came over me and lasted for hours and hours.

In the past, I've had weeks of nightmares and anxiety prior to dental appointments. This time, I've had none of that... I even had some non-nightmare dreams about going to the dentist -- ones where things were totally ok.

I knew I would get the email today, exactly 1 week before my appointment. It didn't make receiving it any easier. I just get so frustrated that as much as I can tell myself that nothing bad is going to happen, the debilitating anxiety still continues to come before every appointment. I am grateful that, this time, I did not have weeks of pre-appointment anxiety, but I really wish I wouldn't have any at all.

So, I guess I'm just looking for a little supports I try to make it thought the next week.

Thanks!

 

[lillyh]

Hello FearinMA,
I totally understand about anxiety when you know you have an appoinment coming up! When the oral surgeons office called to confirm my appoinment which I begged to get, I felt like saying i wanted to cancel..But I didnt. Then this morning it was snowing so I was going to cancel.LOL..But I realize I may be terrified but it needed to be done for my health and most of all my mental health..When I got to the oral surgeons office my blood pressure reached 165/102 which sent the alarm going. The nurse had to administer a relaxing agent..Thats how terrified and anxious I was.. But they took such good care of me!!! I kept thinking i was going to die on Valentine's Day ...But it didnt happen..Now I'm so relieved and happy I made it though..You will too...Just keep busy and it will help to ease your anxiety......Best wishes!

 

[Aldridge]

Hello FearfulInMA,

I seem to remember I wrote an almost identical post to yours when my regular check-up was due last October. I felt so shaky and sick, and a complete hypocrite for posting on here encouraging other people not to be scared. I also seem to remember that you were one of the people who replied to my post and gave me so much support and reassurance. Someone said that we lend one another support on here and then ask for it back when we ourselves become in need of it, which I thought was an excellent way of putting it. We are recycling support! You are welcome to heaps of support and virtual hugs from me (I will be wanting them back in July, please).

Sometimes I think "only" an exam is worse in some ways because you start to fret about something turning up which you hadn't bargained for - so it's only natural to be worried - we get more worried than most people though! When I see my appointment confirmed in matter-of-fact black and white, my stomach flips and the shakes start to kick in, even if I've been calm and collected till then. You are not alone in your frustration!

The final thing I seem to remember from last October is that, as always, the anxiety of waiting was far more stressful than the actual check-up, cleaning and X-rays, and I survived to post another day! As will you! A week from today, you will be posting your success story because you are a brave and strong person and don't you forget that.

 

[BostonBelle03]

Sending hugs and encouragement to my fellow MA brethren. Even though you are still having some anxiety, it sounds like you are learning how to manage it and you should be very proud of yourself for that. You will do fine during your appointment, I just know it, and it will be over before you even realize!
One thing that I find that helps me with anxiety is to keep myself as busy as possible and give my mind a task to focus on. Even something as little as a crossword puzzle may help to give your mind a break from worry. Good luck next week, I know you will do great!

 

[carole]

It drives me insane to get so stressed and worked up before dental appointments. They more often than not work out, I have just come to the conclusion that this is something I am going to have to tolerate as I cannot cure myself.

I have had some lovely dentists and very good care more often than the bad that can happen. I have just decided I need to give myself permission to be nervous but that everything will and usually is okay.

I wish you Good luck

 

[FearfulInMA]

Thanks for all of your comments!

lillyh -- thank you for your good thoughts.

Aldridge -- yes, I believe your recollection is correct. I appreciate you reminding me of your post b/c I remember reading it and really feeling like I could relate.

BostonBelle03 -- It's nice to know that there are positive thoughts coming from nearby. I am a fellow Beantown resident (I assume you are as your screen name would imply). For now, I'm trying to keep my mind busy with all the things going on with my life right now.

Carol -- Thanks as always for the kind words. I think that giving myself permission to be anxious may be the easy part. The harder part is figuring out how to keep the anxiety from interfering with my ability to be productive at work and school. I have so much to get done and I really don't have time to be distracted with this horrible anxiety.

Well, 1 day down, 5 to go...

 

[Robb]

I know how you feel. I had my teeth all fixed 10 years ago and when I got a notice for my six month checkup I cancelled it. I just dreaded going so badly even though there was really nothing to fear at the time. That was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made as not going in for checkups has now cost me one of my teeth due to decay and my gums are in bad shape. Regular checkups and cleanings could have prevented all of this.

As much as you may dread and fear it please don't let that prevent you from going. Avoiding it just leads to terrible things down the road and with regular maintenance it's usually just a quick cleaning and thumbs up from your dentist.

 

[kitkat]

I have struggled with this paradigm for a long time and I still don't have a solution. No journey is ever a straight climb; there will be steep cliffs, plateaus, setbacks, detours...what matters is that you keep moving forward and don't turn around and head back the other direction. I stumbled on a quote once that I loved that said "you only fail when you stop trying." After my last big anxiety episode (while IN the chair ) over a filling replacement I decided from now on, I'm just going to own the fear and embrace it and oddly, I have had 3 appointments this month for an unexpected tooth issue and was not really nervous for any of them. I had a tiny rush of anxiety in the parking lot and when the chair reclined and then I was fine. I think in some ways, I developed a fear of the fear itself because I associated feeling fearful with failure. Consequently, I put too much pressure on myself to "perform." Don't be too hard on yourself and the rest will come naturally with time. You have made a lot of progress from what you have said in your post with not worrying weeks beforehand anymore. Try to stay busy and remember we are all here to lift you up when you feel down and need an extra boost! Hang in there..pretty soon the appointment will be over and you will be posting about your successful appointment. The wait is always the worst part but I'm sure you already know that.

 

[Thunderbird]

While I know you will confront your fears at your appointment, is there anything you can do to distract yourself until then? I'm just thinking of keeping your mind busy so you don't just remunerate on the topic of dentistry.

I know I have to be careful not to overanalyze my assumptions of what might happen at the appointment, well before I even get there.

And then my friend tells me that humans are not fortune tellers, we should not waste our time worrying about something in the future when we don't know what will happen.

 

[FearfulInMA]

the anxiety dreams have started in ernest

Well, as others have suggested, I've actually been doing a pretty good job at distracting myself during the day. I work full-time and then some, go to school part-time, and volunteer -- so keeping busy is not really a problem. . However, as for my unconscious world, that's a whole other story...

I've had dreams about the dentist for the last 2 nights.

Two nights ago, I woke up after a dream I had where I saw an ad in the local newspaper for study for people with dental phobia. I enrolled in the study, but they didn't do any thing. I felt like nothing was ever going to help me. I'm not really sure what happened after that.

Then, this morning, I woke up in a panic after dreaming that I went in for my appointment and, instead of my regular dentist coming in to check my teeth, some other dentist who I had never seen before was there. In my dream, I bolted out of the chair and ran back to the reception area in tears asking where my regular dentist was. The receptionist seemed to understand why I was upset and tried to find my regular dentist, but this other dentist kept making nasty comments about it to everyone who walked in the room. Then I tried to call my boss to tell her that I would be later than expected coming back to work because I was waiting to see my regular dentist, but instead of my boss answering the phone, one of her staff answered the phone and refused to let me talk to my boss (who I also knew would understand).

My training is as a clinical social worker with a firm grounding in psychodynamic (Freud and his successors) theory. So, while I'm not still in practice, these dreams are fascinating to me even if they are also terrifying. Any other clinicians and/or literary folks care to help me tease these apart (aside from the obvious that my unconscious mind is trying to work out all of my anxiety) what's going on here? Any ideas on how to make the dreams stop?

Thanks again for everyone's support!

 

[kitkat]

Re: the anxiety dreams have started in ernest

Well, as others have suggested, I've actually been doing a pretty good job at distracting myself during the day. I work full-time and then some, go to school part-time, and volunteer -- so keeping busy is not really a problem. . However, as for my unconscious world, that's a whole other story...

I've had dreams about the dentist for the last 2 nights.

Two nights ago, I woke up after a dream I had where I saw an ad in the local newspaper for study for people with dental phobia. I enrolled in the study, but they didn't do any thing. I felt like nothing was ever going to help me. I'm not really sure what happened after that.

Then, this morning, I woke up in a panic after dreaming that I went in for my appointment and, instead of my regular dentist coming in to check my teeth, some other dentist who I had never seen before was there. In my dream, I bolted out of the chair and ran back to the reception area in tears asking where my regular dentist was. The receptionist seemed to understand why I was upset and tried to find my regular dentist, but this other dentist kept making nasty comments about it to everyone who walked in the room. Then I tried to call my boss to tell her that I would be later than expected coming back to work because I was waiting to see my regular dentist, but instead of my boss answering the phone, one of her staff answered the phone and refused to let me talk to my boss (who I also knew would understand).

My training is as a clinical social worker with a firm grounding in psychodynamic (Freud and his successors) theory. So, while I'm not still in practice, these dreams are fascinating to me even if they are also terrifying. Any other clinicians and/or literary folks care to help me tease these apart (aside from the obvious that my unconscious mind is trying to work out all of my anxiety) what's going on here? Any ideas on how to make the dreams stop?

Thanks again for everyone's support!

I started out as a pscyh major in college and I changed majors but I am also fascinated with dream analysis. I have had countless dentistry dreams. Strangely, only since seeing "Dr. Right"have I had dental dreams but before that, I don't remember having any dreams about dentistry. I have had good and bad dreams but my dentist has always been either neutral or a positive presence in my dreams. If the dream was bad it was something beyond my control and not caused by the dentist like my teeth spontaneously falling out! What's interesting is that your dreams are about dentistry but none of the dreams you mentioned included your actual dentist, in fact, you were searching for your dentist. So maybe your dreams just reaffirm the trusting relationship and faith that you have in your dentist . If you have had a previous nasty dentist, you may fear that history is going to somehow repeat itself.

 

[FearfulInMA]

15 hours to go and I'm a total wreck. I have lots of things to keep me busy between now and then, but I'm shaking like a leaf and it's hard to get anything done like this. I just can't wait until it's over... though my fear is that it won't really be over. I feel like my teeth are on a slow road to nowhere good and I always dread what they will find despite my attention to good oral hygiene.

I just keep telling myself that by 9am EST tomorrow at least this appointment will be over.

UGH! I just wish I could fast-forward until then.

 

[shamrockerin]

I know exactly how you feel. I just had a 6 month cleaning today. I hope it goes well for you.

 

[carole]

Good luck for you appointment

 

[anxiousgirl83]

I know exactly how u feel!!
I wanted to switch my appointment with my man s ( his it s at 8 am tomorrow and mine is at 11 so I could get it out of the way sooner and forget about it ( it s for a deep cleaning session, and will have 3 more to go after that, god help meeeeeeeeee due to my anxiety problem she wanna do it slowly)... but the lady told him that the Dr ( guess both the hygienist and her will work on me at the same time... omg...) has to be there when I go cause the hygienist alone cannot do it and she won t be there til 8:30 so.. we couldn t switch...
I swear god I felt even more panic cause I started thinking" why do 2 people have to be there at the same time, is that serious what they r gonna do to me???, my man got upset and told me he didn t wanna talk about it and that s not helping....
So now I wonder how bad this " deep cleaning" it s gonna be that they need to people to work on me at the same time... if one dentist terrifies me, imagine 2!!!
I m gonna go get dinner now, need to clear my mind, sometimes I would prefer to die than to go through this nightmare , I swear!
Let us know how it went, I ll do the same, all the luck!!

 

[lillyh]

They need two people there because the dentist is the one who deep cleans and the hygenist is there with suction ..At least that is what happened to me..My dentist sat by me and used the ultra sonic cleaner on each tooth and every nook and cranny while the hygenist was there with suction since the ultra sonic machine sprays out a fine mist of water(to keep the machine cool) and it would get all over if she wasnt there sucking it up.LOL I never bled once but afterward my teeth never felt so clean and looked so good..But the next day my gums were a little sore.not enough to even take a pain med.....Good luck tomorrow....

 

[anxiousgirl83]

thanks for your positive post again
The reason why I m worried they need 2 people to do it this time its cause the first time I visited her she cleaned a bit ( used the ultra sound) and used that thing to suck the saliva all by herself ( the hygienist) and numbed me only with that jelly they use and that was enough... but she says I have so much tartar and kinda old so she wanna clean it like last time but also under the gum line...
I m a nervous wreck right now, we ll see what kind of nightmares I ll have tonight, I m just praying the anti anxiety pill will help me out.
Also knowing I ll have to go 3 MORE TIMES after tomorrow makes me feel like I have a long way ahead and I feel like quitting and moving to some nice island in the Caribbean and never come back...lol
I know, i know we gotta go to the dentist even tough we hate it but if I count all the visits I ve done between the oral surgery, quick cleaning session and now this deep cleaning it s gonna be like 7 times total between late Dec and late April, never done this in my life and I m scareddddddd

 

[lillyh]

Even though I just had my two wisdom teeth out and an infected root canal tooth tooth pulled I still need a lot of work done..I have been having anxiety attacks almost every day and dont feel like myself..I hate feeling this way..so I know how you feel..But when you said you wanted to run to the carribean I instantly thought of the movie "Castaway" when he had to pull his own tooth...So I don't mind being close to my dentist.I'm actually glad he is there if I need him..LOL I'm also scared of whats to come but we usually manage to make it through! And as for nightmares I've been dreaming about dentists and teeth.I'm hoping once my mouth heals and I'm not so anxious about THAT I'll feel better...I know it is easier said than done but try not to be so scared..I'm trying not to be also....good luck...

 

[Steve In Cleveland]

anxiousgirl83,

Deep cleaning (sometimes called root scaling or root planing) is not a big deal, it's very similar to the feeling of the ultrasonic tool. It feels like a slightly irritating vibration around the gumline.

Don't let the fact that the dentist is doing it bother you too much. It could just be that the hygienist isn't qualified to use the planing tool. Plus, as lillyh points out, the tool throws off a lot of water, so it's easier to have an extra hand to hold the suction wand, while the dentist holds the mirror with one hand and the planer in the other. It doesn't mean the work is any harder, it just helps to have an assistant.

Good luck with your cleaning tomorrow, you'll do fine!

 

[anxiousgirl83]

Thanks Steve for your post as well
Yeah I mean if they r gonna do it together just to make it easier for them and hopefully faster then that s fine with me I guess...
But when my man told me both the dentist and the hygienist had to be there, since I m soooo terrified, first thing I thought was like " OMG maybe the hygienist wants the boss dentist to be there in case something goes wrong and I start bleeding like crazy or something..."
I suppose anxiety makes me imagine things worst than what they actually are...
When I think about running away to the Caribbean I think of that movie the beach with Leo Di Caprio mmmm ha ha ha now that would be a nice reward after finishing my treatment lol ha ha
If i break up with my man cause of he s pushing me to do this treatment I might be the first woman doing this...lol
I gotta admit it would feel super weird to tell a layer the reason why I m divorcing him is cause he s pushing me to do a deep cleaning treatment....
Oh god, I really hope that pill helps me tomorrow, I wanna get with tomorrow s session at least, survive and feel ok at least for like 3 weeks cause that s when I would have the 2nd session...

So if she s gonna numb me with local anesteshia I shouldn t feel pain during the deep cleaning session??
I hope not!!!!! but that feeling of the ultrasound thing scratching my teeth makes me desperate, I always feel she s not gonna be careful enough and she s gonna make my teeth jump out my mouth.....