I totally cried!

[xina]

Hi everyone!

I've read the website for a few months, as I debated what to do about my teeth. I had an awesome set due to going to the dentist regularly as a kid...but all of a sudden, one cracked and the rest started falling apart, too! I avoided the dentist, mostly because I don't have insurance and also because of the anxiety. I'm all anxiety girl in general, so the dentist was a big fear. To make a long story short (maybe I'll find another post for all of it!), I went into the dentist today. There is one tooth that has been the most painful, so I decided to fix it. I was hoping to save my tooth with a root canal and crown, but that was about $2000 worth of work and not guaranteed to solve my pain. I decided a year of dealing with this tooth is more than enough, and I decided to go through with having it removed.

I tried my best to control my anxiety...not to mention gagging....as I felt the pulling and tearing of my tooth. It didn't hurt...I even made it through the injections okay. But the thought of it...and the sensations, and sound...I totally panicked! I threw up a little into the spit sink and started crying. I felt so ashamed, and I wanted to not hold the dentist up....and gross, and just so....ugh.

So while the process wasn't as terrible as I had worried....it wasn't totally smooth sailing, either. And worse, this is the beginning! I have other broken teeth, and the dentist saw all kinda of spots that don't hurt me now, but she said will eventually. And I haven't even mentioned the money problem....I'm 30 years old and had my Mom write a post dated check for me.

I just want to hear that the dentist has seen other people cry...and that I'm not the only one. So many people have posts about "I was scared and then it was fine!" that my "I was scared and it still sucked!" experience makes me feel a little down....and writing on the Internet is my best coping skill.

Thanks so much for reading. This site is full of amazingly compassionate people.

Christina

 

[carole]

You are not the only one to feel as you do. You did really well to get the tooth removed so

CONGRATULATIONS

So you were sick, so what, you got rid of the tooth, didn't you. A lot of people go for a visit and can't manage to get this done, I myself went one day last year and I was so worked up, the dentist decided not to do the tooth that day and I had to go back.

You got it done in one visit, be proud of what you have done, you've been afraid for years, it's not going to go away in one visit. As you build a trusting relationship with your dentist it will get better, I'm not saying you will go in singing and dancing, but you will get to a point of not being so fearful.

You did really well, your story is a success story, and others will read what you did and it will help them face going.

 

[xina]

Thanks so much for your kind words and s!

I didn't think of myself as being very successful, but I guess I was. It's a lot of help to remember it.

I still feel freaked out over it. There's not nearly as much pain, especially compared to how it hurt before. But I'm all emotionally . But, I'll get over it.

Thanks again!

Christina

 

[kitkat]

You had a tooth extracted! I wouldn't be able to do that without some serious sedation so congratulations!!! It doesn't sound like the dentist reacted negatively to you crying and sounds like you're invited back! That sounds like success to me! You just got overwhelmed and rightfully so, you were in a very stressful situation and dentists recognize that. I read somewhere that many dentists are nervous patients themselves. You should wander over to Carole's thread in Members Only about "funny happenings in the dental office." You'd be amazed to read about what some of these crazy members have done at their dentists in the past!

I have also had treatment halted by my dentist. I didn't cry but I was shaking so much that she couldn't work. I was able to compose myself and continue after a few moments but I got overwhelmed and went into a panic just before a filling. I was totally embarrassed by it but my dentist (while she was concerned) was just like "No big deal! It happens!" and her relaxed attitude helped me realize that they see people get upset a lot in their line of work. I can kinda relate to the crying though....I teared up once during a cleaning recently from trying to avoid gagging and the hygienist thought she made me cry! Dentists are generally sympathetic and compassionate people though...they went into a helping field after all...some are more or less skilled in their interpersonal skills but I like to think most of them mean well. Anyways, keep going! You are off to a wonderful start AND a warm to DFC!

 

[norwegianchick]

I totally cried at the dentist too. It got better after that, though.

It will probably get better for you too. It sounds like you did great except for the crying.

 

[bisja]

I think you did fantastic! Tears are a way to get rid of built up adrenaline so thats ok to let them fly, after I got out yesterday of having 6 teeth cleaned looked at my hubby he said how did it go? I said it went good and cried my head off for about 2 minutes. I think dentists are very use to this and if they can't handle it they are in the wrong job I think. Congrats you did great!

 

[Pianimo]

Hi Christina.

Welcome to DFC...and advance apologies for the inevitably long post of mine!


I've cried twice in front of my current dentist, once in front of my old one, and once when talking to the receptionist in front of a waiting room full of people! Only one of those times was actually during treatment - for the rest just being there/talking was enough to reduce me to tears. I've also at varying times: shaken uncontrollably, pushed the hygienist's hand away (and I actually loved her and wasn't afraid of her at all by the end!), tried to fight my dentist off, asked everyone to look away every time I had to rinse/spit, asked to go to the loo in the middle of an appointment...and probably more things I can't remember right now! Yet despite being this difficult, quivering wreck of a patient, my prevous dentist told me I was 'a delight to treat'!! Admittedly, I had IV sedation with her, which relaxed me a lot once it kicked in, but I also had all my hygiene appointments unsedated, and my hygienist loves treating phobics and said she thought I did really well and wasn't a problem for her at all.

The difference is perspective...and this is something I still struggle with myself as well. The phobia not only makes us afraid, but leaves us ashamed of being afraid; we tend to remember only the bad bits of the appointments, and always imgaine everyone else is thinking the worst of us. But really, a good dentist won't see things the way we do. They'll see a patient who is scared and whom they want to help. They'll be pleased for you that you got through the appointment rather than annoyed you had difficulties, and any part where you were scared or upset, all they'll be thinking is how they feel for you, and whether there's anything they could do do help you have a better experience the next time. In other words, they're more likely to be wondering if they did anything wrong to cause you to be upset, than to think you did anything wrong.

As I said, I'm still stuck in the phobic mindset myself with regard to my own appointments, but it's much easier to see things clearly, and with balance, in someone else's! So, to me, it's obvious that you did really well! You made the appointment, and turned up (two major stages at which many phobics often fail). You got through the whole appointment, and only got upset once. When you did get upset, you didn't give up or run out of the room in tears, but picked yourself up and carried on. Even people with no fear of the dentist at all can find some procedures difficult or uncomfortable, and need a break (or many breaks!) in the middle - so I'm sure you weren't holding your dentist up. And gagging is also a hugely common issue - for phobics and non-phobics - so there's no way that gagging, even to the point of throwing up, would be a new situation for your dentist to face.

I know you say the experience 'sucked', but I think it's really important for you to try to see the positives - how well you did! Often the problem is that we compare ourselves to people without dental phobia and think, "I'm pathetic - I should have been able to cope better." Well, of course it's different for people who aren't afraid! If you had a friend who was scared of dogs or flying or heights, you wouldn't expect them to just pick up a labrador or hop on a plane or go bungee-jumping with you! For you, with your fear and anxiety, to have made it to and through that appointment as well as you did is a brilliant achievement!

I know you also said you've read stories on here of people who were afraid, then when they went everything went smoothly, but I promise you there are just as many (I'd venture many more) of people for whom it was a much longer process, with many tears along the way! Even those whose first appointment (typically just a consultation) goes well usually go on to find some of the treatment appointments harder to cope with. It's great to read the success stories, as they can be really encouraging and motiviating, but it's also good to read through some of the journals and support threads, and see that most people have had experiences like yours somewhere along the line. My own journey began over a year ago, yet I still cried at one of my appointments last month. There's no 'supposed to' or 'ought to' in this - only you know how it felt to be you in that situation, and no-one - including yourself! - can say that you should have reacted any differently.

On the other hand, that includes how you're feeling now - it's understandable you feel down, and you shouldn't feel bad about that either! Just be aware that when you've just been through an ordeal and you're feeling low, it probably colours your view of things a bit. So, believe us when we tell you - you did great! Don't forget, we're people who know - people who either used to or would still find having an extraction difficult. (I'm with kitkat - couldn't face it without sedation! So I have huge respect for you.) Despite how you're feeling now, I think this experience gives you a great place to build from in thinking ahead to any other work you need doing - one step at a time. Have you talked to your dentist about a treament plan, so that you know exactly what needs doing, and when? And maybe a payment plan too, to help you with the costs?