• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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I want to make my anxiety to disappear

J

Jon Ersser

Junior member
Joined
Jun 14, 2020
Messages
9
Location
England
Hi, I'm new to DFC and I found you because I need support to get through, what I'm calling a fightback against my dental fear.

This fear feels so intense and for the last ten years it has been at the forefront of everything that goes through my mind.

The fear truly started on Jan 4th 2010 when I went to the dentist to have a filling. I was so scared and didn't want to go but I had to otherwise this problem would have got worse. I was only 12 at the time. This trip was a bad experience for me. Not because of what my dentist did, but just because I thought of how scary having dental work was.

It was after that where things got worse. I would start brushing my teeth really hard and for around five minutes. This all kept on going and became the norm for how I would brush my teeth for a few years.

Then suddenly in 2014 I had an epileptic seizure and not too long after that I started to brush my teeth for even longer. It got to the point that I would brush my teeth for nearly 20 minutes every time I did. These brushes would also last me just over a month at a time.

Then came the thing that really hit the nail on its head and really got me into a terrible state. In 2016 my wisdom teeth started to come through and I would try to brush them but I couldn't get to them. I started to panic, I knew that I was just a couple of weeks away of going to the dentist as well.

This got me to the point of where it led me to depression and I started to harm myself and wanting to die because I thought that I would have to go through the same procedure as 6 years prior.

I came up with the idea of putting toothpaste on my tongue and trying to brush my wisdom teeth that way. When I had the actual appointment, I was too scared to say anything so I just let him check my teeth, and then I was on my way.

Then the final blow struck about a year later, I started to buy my own toothbrush in order to practice and teach myself to try and learn the correct way, and the idea was going well until I started to become obssessed with wanting to clean them. This led me to the point that I was brushing my teeth so hard that the toothbrush would only last three times before I moved onto the next one. My gums have really receded because of this and one of my canines has the signs of enamel wear on them.

Fortunately I told my brother of the inner turmoil that I was suffering, and he said the next time you go, I will come with you and be in your corner. This helped me to feel somewhat relaxed. But it was his next step that really got me to the point I'm at at the moment. He had his own appointment at a different dental office and said come with me and I will show you a practice that is safer than the enclosed environment your used to.

He was right about that, as I went with him to his dentist. It was so much more relaxed and to be honest it didn't even feel like I was at one. He said to me that I should join his one as they will look after me. It took a lot of convincing but I finally decided to go there.

It was definitely a good choice to go there, as I required two fillings, and I even had an injection to numb the area prior. I came off the chair thinking oh my goodness what have I just done. I hugged my brother, because he could see how much that this meant to me.

Then it led to my most recent appointment in February of this year. Me and my brother we had back to back appointments and went together for the first time. He went first and then I went last. I didn't reveal anything to the dentist about my past as to this point I didn't feel ready to talk about it, so I pretty much went silent and had the check up with no problems.

But then I started to go to a counsellor with my brother as he wanted to help so much. I went there not really for the purpose of fighting against my fear, but for something else. But with my brother and the counsellor we managed to connect a lot of points together and it all stemmed to that one day in 2010 that I feel has ruined my life.

With all of this my brother offered to teach me how to brush my teeth after I showed him the most recent toothbrush I had used. He was shocked and I looked at him with shame. I was ashamed of what I had done.

He showed me how to brush my teeth to the point that I wasn't brushing as hard, and not for as long. Toothbrushes as this present moment are lasting me for about a week and the times are all under ten minutes.

But all of this has made me realise that with his faith in me I can perhaps try and get help with my fear. At the moment of writing this I'm a 23 year old in the midst of lockdown in the UK. This lockdown for some shape or form has allowed me to grow in confidence, as I feel I'm ready to go to my next appointment and tell the dentist about all of this. I know she will listen because she is extremely patient with me.

I look at what I'm trying to do as '"fighting for a better future', or 'fighting for a quality of life'. For the key is my wisdom teeth. All four of them are showing now. I refuse to eat near them due to the fact that I don't even brush them with anything other than toothpaste.

I'm going to ask my dentist when I next go about them. I keep hoping that they will be removed because I want them gone once and for all because I want to be able to eat normally without the worry.

But its what I'm trying to do at the moment which I'm struggling to get to grips with. I'm trying to brush for under 5 minutes at the moment before going for 4 minutes then 3 minutes until I hit the recommended time. I'm finding it so hard and I'm really struggling with it.

What's frustrating me is that I'm trying to fight so much because I want to move on from all of this so I don't have to be concerned about my teeth.

I'm just so desperate for support at the moment. I feel like I'm perhaps one step away from getting this all right.
 
Jon Ersser,

:grouphug: Reading through this I see the struggle , strength, resiliency and support you have from your brother and new dentist . Honestly it made me cry. You are in the right place for support!

You've been fighting for so long holding on and getting closer to more support , answers, help, and hope by the day! I absolutely believe you are getting so close to getting this all right.. what a process and journey you've been through,

I'm so glad you have your brother, he sounds like such an amazing supportive person! And what a beautiful thing for him to bring you to his dentist first to show you what it can be like then you go , and for them to treat you gently and kindly. It just makes such a world of difference.

I see such hope in your writing.. even though you really have been through so much. you are such a strong and brave person!! Thank you for sharing and I believe that one day you really won't have to worry so much about your teeth. Also as your trust builds over time with this new dentist I think it will really help you to focus less on dental and more on areas of life you really enjoy and thrive!
 
Hi Jon and :welcome:!

I can relate, as I'm also finding it hard to stick to the recommended 2 minutes (OCD tendencies, lol). It's great that you have such a supportive brother, and that you've found such a kind dentist who really listens!

Regarding the toothbrushing problems - have you considered an electric toothbrush? Many of them have a mechanism built in which tells you when you're applying too much pressure. There are even models which interact with your mobile phone to guide you through the process of brushing the correct amount of time. You can have a look at what's available here: https://www.oralb.co.uk/en-gb/product-collections/electric-toothbrushes

I saw a press release a few days ago saying that over 50% of the UK population now uses an electric toothbrush rather than a manual one. Unless you're really really dextrous, electric toothbrushes work better for most people than manual ones, and most dentists now recommend them (and use them themselves).

Admittedly, some of the higher-end models are expensive, although you can often find deals on amazon or in Boots, for example. But many of their lower-end rechargeable models work just as well. They just don't offer all the additional features like the timer app.

If you don't want to spend big, there are free apps available that can help with brushing the right amount of time. Search for "Brush DJ" for example.

Oral-B UK also have a video on YouTube which shows how to use their electric toothbrushes.

So this might be something worth looking into, if finances allow. The other thing would be to continue working with a therapist (a clinical psychologist might be ideal, if you can get a referral). I understand this may be difficult at the moment, with COVID and everything. Still, if you are interested in getting such help, it could be worth asking your GP over the phone or via email - perhaps mental health services are offered online in your local area.

Hang on in there - it sounds like you've come a long way :) !!
 
I was going to say the same thing, electric toothbrush. I was at the dentist today and was told I brush too hard and should get one and just hold it on one tooth at a time and not to scrub.
 
Thanks for all of your kind words and advice. Unfortunately, the money is not there for an electric toothbrush, but to be honest if Im going to save up for anything, this would be a good thing to save up for.

I regret what I've done to my teeth. I have often felt in the past that what I've done to my teeth in the past should never happen to anyone's teeth at any point in their lives.

I used to brush them so hard that the enamel has worn away from one of my teeth. Now this has been a worry for me, and when I next have an appointment, this is one of the things I want addressed because I find it strange how I haven't felt pain yet.

My gums are in terrible condition as well. They have receded so bad due to the toothbrushing. When I last went to the dentist for a cleaning one of my teeth has receded so bad that I could feel the pain on my bone. This pain lasted a day or two as well.

Fortunately at this moment I'm trying a new technique where I'm focusing on each section of my mouth and then hopefully get an idea on how to clean it swiftly and effectively. I'd like to say that three quarters of the mouth I'm comfortable with what I'm doing but the other one, I just can't seem to figure it out.

I do wonder if it's because I want to make sure all the plaque is off my teeth. Which in return leads to no fillings.

My wisdom teeth are really annoying me though. I'm trying to get to them, and I just can't seem to reach them and brush them, I looked at getting a toothbrush with a smaller brush head in the hopes of getting to them, but I can't seem to manage it.

The concern I have with these teeth is that I won't eat anywhere near them at all. This is possibly causing them to get this yellow stuff on them, which I think is hardened plaque.

I really want these teeth out. I'm trying not to get obsessed with wanting them out, but I know my chances of having them out are slim, the NHS doesn't recommend having them out unless absolutely necessary.

The issue is I feel that even if I say that these teeth impact my life because I can't get to them with a toothbrush, they won't remove them.

Do you think that I could get them out, if I said about how much they impact my life and that they are part of the reason my brushing is so bad?

My dentist she will listen to me. I know she will. She is amazing. I couldn't thank her enough for being as welcoming as she has been, and I would be confident enough to ask her about them.
 
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