S
ScaredyCat22
Well-known member
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2014
- Messages
- 1,318
I am going to tell my story, It will be long and hard and since it is still ongoing I don't know whether it will have a happy ending or not. Maybe I will be one of the lucky ones. So far I haven't been. I never thought I would be in this situation of having missing teeth. I used to think the only people with missing teeth was because they had been in car accidents or fights, or had chosen extraction over root canal. I also thought the only people with root canals had been in fights or accidents or attacked or chosen to let their teeth decay. But that is not true at all is it.
A bit of background first. I have never had beautiful straight white teeth. I also have never really cared. My baby teeth had very little enamel and thus were on the yellowy side. My mouth is small and my teeth were crowded. I was left with a pacifier too long as a toddler which probably contributed. I also had high forward canines which some people refer to as vampire teeth. Oh and lets not forget I have a cross bite. When my adult teeth came in they were the same, crowded, yellowish. I never viewed them as a fashion statement. I never had braces or bleaching or any of that. My teeth were not beautiful but they were healthy and they were functional and they were mine. I had no heat sensitivity or cold sensitivity and had never had a toothache in my entire life. I ate what I wanted and I enjoyed it. In fact I also enjoyed cooking. I was very good at it. To me cooking and eating and being praised for my efforts, and enjoying food with people was a very social thing to do. I was the person you come to when you need help with your cookie recipe. I was the person who baked 10 dozen holiday cookies at a time starting as early as Halloween and lasting through New Year. All the big holiday meals were my doing. I always baked enough that really nobody else had to. I was happy to make pies, cakes, or whatever for family members and neighbors. But that all changed when the pain started. If you can't eat then you sure don't want to cook. And if cooking and eating are a huge enjoyment in your life, it is quite devastating when you no longer have either. It is also very isolating when you can no eat what everyone else is having or no longer want to eat in front of people.
As a small child I never had dental care. We never ate healthy foods or drank milk or water. My mother went out of her way to buy the only toothpaste in those days which did not contain fluoride. Breakfast for me would consist of pancakes with about a cup of syrup poured over them, which if there was any not absorbed by the pancakes I would actually drink what was left... this would be served with coca cola. From the time I was 2 years old cocoa cola would be served to me with 3 meals a day, plus snack time. We always ate chips and junk foods. Meals were pizza and pasta etc. I did brush after meals though I had never heard of or seen dental floss. When I started school at 5 I was sick a lot. Throat infections, tonsillitis etc. I always had some sort of stomach bug at least once a month up until the time I had my tonsils removed. It was not unusual for me to have a bout of vomiting at least once or twice a month. sometimes I would vomit as many as 10 times a night. After every time I would of course brush my teeth with the hard tooth brush and non fluoride toothpaste. so there went most of the rest of my enamel.
When I was about 6 years old I remember telling my mother that my gums were bleeding when I brushed my teeth, and she told me that meant I was doing a really good job. That is likely when my gum disease began.
The first time I ever saw a dentist was because one came to school to examine everyone. I was 14 years old at the time. I assume a letter was sent home about the horrid state of my molars, because the next thing I knew I was being taken to the dentist to get a filling once a month for 9 months. I assume my parents could only afford to pay for one filling at a time which is why it would have been dragged out so long. All 8 of my molars needed fillings. One was so deep that it was done in 2 appointments, most likely to see if it survived without needing root canal, which if it had needed one I am sure it would have been extracted as my parents could not have afforded it. It survived well with a temp filling for a month and then was redone with a permanent filling. I had no fear of the dentist at this time. He was kind and did not hurt me. After every single appointment my life went on as usual, nothing ever hurt, my teeth looked different of course with these shiny amalgam fillings in them, but they felt the same, I ate the same and brushed the same and it felt as if nothing had been done. You know. just like it is meant to.
My parents never took me to the dentist again once my cavities were filled. I never had a cleaning or exam.
In fact I had my teeth cleaned for the very first time when I was around 20 and could pay for it myself. I had actually made the appointment to discuss my wisdom teeth that were coming in. The hygienist was rude and snotty and insulting. She told me I had gingivitis. (of course I did I was 20 years old and had never flossed and had never had a cleaning before) I did not know what that was and had to ask her. She acted like I was some kind of moron for even asking and said "you got it from not brushing your teeth enough." I thought that odd since I was brushing at least 4 times a day. In reality I had gingivitis because I had never had a cleaning and had never flossed. She did not tell me about flossing, and just assumed I never brushed. My cleaning was painful of course with 20 years of tartar build up. There was lots of bleeding and she seemed to enjoy hurting me. She said some very insulting and shameful things to me. When she was done she flossed my teeth very roughly, snapping the floss hard into my raw gums like they tell you to never do. That was my first experience with floss. It was also my first experience with being shamed and treated like I was disgusting. I never wanted to get another cleaning again.
I had my wisdom teeth out, and the recovery was painful but I healed in about a week.
Not bad I thought, 20 years old and the only work I ever had done was wisdom teeth removed and cavities filled.
I began to buy my own floss and used it although incorrectly because I didn't know how. I began to brush my teeth 8 or even 9 times a day because whatever this gingivitis was I didn't want it and was told I didn't brush enough. For years I brushed obsessively, too hard, too often, to the point that in several spots my gums were so raw and abraded they just disappeared, worn away down to the root of my teeth.
I brushed and brushed and never wanted to see a dentist or hygienist again.
It was 16 years before I ever went to a dentist again, and that my fellow phobics will be where I continue this journal next time.
A bit of background first. I have never had beautiful straight white teeth. I also have never really cared. My baby teeth had very little enamel and thus were on the yellowy side. My mouth is small and my teeth were crowded. I was left with a pacifier too long as a toddler which probably contributed. I also had high forward canines which some people refer to as vampire teeth. Oh and lets not forget I have a cross bite. When my adult teeth came in they were the same, crowded, yellowish. I never viewed them as a fashion statement. I never had braces or bleaching or any of that. My teeth were not beautiful but they were healthy and they were functional and they were mine. I had no heat sensitivity or cold sensitivity and had never had a toothache in my entire life. I ate what I wanted and I enjoyed it. In fact I also enjoyed cooking. I was very good at it. To me cooking and eating and being praised for my efforts, and enjoying food with people was a very social thing to do. I was the person you come to when you need help with your cookie recipe. I was the person who baked 10 dozen holiday cookies at a time starting as early as Halloween and lasting through New Year. All the big holiday meals were my doing. I always baked enough that really nobody else had to. I was happy to make pies, cakes, or whatever for family members and neighbors. But that all changed when the pain started. If you can't eat then you sure don't want to cook. And if cooking and eating are a huge enjoyment in your life, it is quite devastating when you no longer have either. It is also very isolating when you can no eat what everyone else is having or no longer want to eat in front of people.
As a small child I never had dental care. We never ate healthy foods or drank milk or water. My mother went out of her way to buy the only toothpaste in those days which did not contain fluoride. Breakfast for me would consist of pancakes with about a cup of syrup poured over them, which if there was any not absorbed by the pancakes I would actually drink what was left... this would be served with coca cola. From the time I was 2 years old cocoa cola would be served to me with 3 meals a day, plus snack time. We always ate chips and junk foods. Meals were pizza and pasta etc. I did brush after meals though I had never heard of or seen dental floss. When I started school at 5 I was sick a lot. Throat infections, tonsillitis etc. I always had some sort of stomach bug at least once a month up until the time I had my tonsils removed. It was not unusual for me to have a bout of vomiting at least once or twice a month. sometimes I would vomit as many as 10 times a night. After every time I would of course brush my teeth with the hard tooth brush and non fluoride toothpaste. so there went most of the rest of my enamel.
When I was about 6 years old I remember telling my mother that my gums were bleeding when I brushed my teeth, and she told me that meant I was doing a really good job. That is likely when my gum disease began.
The first time I ever saw a dentist was because one came to school to examine everyone. I was 14 years old at the time. I assume a letter was sent home about the horrid state of my molars, because the next thing I knew I was being taken to the dentist to get a filling once a month for 9 months. I assume my parents could only afford to pay for one filling at a time which is why it would have been dragged out so long. All 8 of my molars needed fillings. One was so deep that it was done in 2 appointments, most likely to see if it survived without needing root canal, which if it had needed one I am sure it would have been extracted as my parents could not have afforded it. It survived well with a temp filling for a month and then was redone with a permanent filling. I had no fear of the dentist at this time. He was kind and did not hurt me. After every single appointment my life went on as usual, nothing ever hurt, my teeth looked different of course with these shiny amalgam fillings in them, but they felt the same, I ate the same and brushed the same and it felt as if nothing had been done. You know. just like it is meant to.
My parents never took me to the dentist again once my cavities were filled. I never had a cleaning or exam.
In fact I had my teeth cleaned for the very first time when I was around 20 and could pay for it myself. I had actually made the appointment to discuss my wisdom teeth that were coming in. The hygienist was rude and snotty and insulting. She told me I had gingivitis. (of course I did I was 20 years old and had never flossed and had never had a cleaning before) I did not know what that was and had to ask her. She acted like I was some kind of moron for even asking and said "you got it from not brushing your teeth enough." I thought that odd since I was brushing at least 4 times a day. In reality I had gingivitis because I had never had a cleaning and had never flossed. She did not tell me about flossing, and just assumed I never brushed. My cleaning was painful of course with 20 years of tartar build up. There was lots of bleeding and she seemed to enjoy hurting me. She said some very insulting and shameful things to me. When she was done she flossed my teeth very roughly, snapping the floss hard into my raw gums like they tell you to never do. That was my first experience with floss. It was also my first experience with being shamed and treated like I was disgusting. I never wanted to get another cleaning again.
I had my wisdom teeth out, and the recovery was painful but I healed in about a week.
Not bad I thought, 20 years old and the only work I ever had done was wisdom teeth removed and cavities filled.
I began to buy my own floss and used it although incorrectly because I didn't know how. I began to brush my teeth 8 or even 9 times a day because whatever this gingivitis was I didn't want it and was told I didn't brush enough. For years I brushed obsessively, too hard, too often, to the point that in several spots my gums were so raw and abraded they just disappeared, worn away down to the root of my teeth.
I brushed and brushed and never wanted to see a dentist or hygienist again.
It was 16 years before I ever went to a dentist again, and that my fellow phobics will be where I continue this journal next time.