I'm In a state of panic!

[Pianimo]

I plucked up the courage and rang - he hasnt posted it yet!

Well done for calling - at least you know now! Did he say why not, or when he's going to send it? How are you feeling now?

 

[Pianimo]

I agree with Kim, Carole.

Is it just me, or should those names be the other way round??!

 

[bisja]

Oh Kim will be so happy for you when it is all done, thats what I keep telling myself is how great it will be when everything is over. I am so much like you with the fear thing, I still wish I was going to be knocked out! Told my hubby to take a big club lolol

 

[Jaylah]

Is it just me, or should those names be the other way round??!

Ummm, yes. I edited.

 

[Pianimo]

Ummm, yes. I edited.

Ah, that's better! I'm easily confused!

 

[Kim]

Morning people

He was going to send it out last night, so I should get it today with any luck. My daughter is going to ring me one way or another as you can all imagine, it is still very much on my mind.

I dont know why, but I am really down at the moment, and feel really teary, I think it has a lot to do with what is to come, and the timescale that it is going to take, as I have read, it is a long process if the crown doesnt work.

I am thinking of you in particular Bisja, as you have your treatment to come very soon, and I really feel for you, knowing just how scared I am, I can just imagine how you are.

People are telling me to think positive thoughts, but just cant seem to get my hear around even that - I feel as if my face is hitting the floor right now. I sincerely didnt know just how debilitating this whole thing would be. I cant smile because I am so conscious of the gap, and that is making me even more miserable. I cant believe I have gone from being happy to just down right miserable

Thank you all for your continued support, I really need it right now xx

 

[carole]

I can understand how you can feel so down with all this, been there and done that. In my case my mouth effects me so much it's unbelievable, last year I was down, in pain and didn't know where I was going to turn, it all felt really useless, and I was terrified my teeth were going to break and crumble, I couldn't eat correctly, I stuck to soft food, even then that could be scary.

I found a very good dentist and he fixed my teeth I finished earlier this month with my treatment. I was on a high just before Christmas, as I was out of fear and pain, I was walking on air. January this year I got another problem with a different tooth and had that treated, I was up one minute and down the next, but as I said that treatment has now finished and I was back to walking on air.

So as I have explained it's a very up and down process, if we tend to worry about out teeth, this is how it is, but if you find your dentist is good and you can work and trust him then it is priceless, how they can make you feel, and your whole health and mental state is very much better.

Try not to stress too much, good times are on their way.

 

[Jaylah]

Kim, what you're feeling now is perfectly normal. Not that it really helps to know that, huh?

But it's true that every long journey consists of small steps.

Instead of focusing so much on "when it's all over", perhaps it would help a bit if you (tried to) just focus on the next step in the process. That may help in not getting quite so overwhelmed.

 

[Kim]

elpheb is sooooo strong - each of us is different - me i am shite!

 

[Jaylah]

You are not!

Quit talking about my friend that way!!

 

[Kim]

Jaylah, I am sorry if I have made you angry

Kim

 

[carole]

Kim calm down nobody is angry with you least of all Jaylah. We just want you to feel better about yourself, we have all been where you are, and once you have been a few times and start to build a trusting relationship with your dentist you will feel much better.

Have you had your letter yet ?

Cheer up, everything will work out.

 

[Carys]

Oh gosh no, Jaylah isn't angry, I can tell that this is her being really supportive and giving you a good talking to about being kind to yourself (by putting it in bold and being assertive)

 

[letsconnect]

Hi Kim,

I've just been re-reading your posts and was wondering about a couple of things. One of them was how quickly it all went and how little time you've really had to build up a trusting relationship with the dentist you have seen. Maybe it's a case of "too much, too soon"? (I know that contradicts your concern about how long the process might take). I just thought that if it was me, I'd be feeling quite overwhelmed . I'm a bit of a baby steps person, though !


(P.S.: you haven't made Jaylah angry !!)

 

[Kim]

Thank you all for your continued responses help advice and in general bloody good support - it is really appreciated.

I got my letter today!

I have read and re-read it and am trying to take it all in. It sounds an awful procedure, and the thing is he wants to try and replace the crown, but if that doesnt work due to decay etc then he will have to remove something and try an implant - the cost of all this loads!

In an ideal world I would have perfect teeth - hey ho - I havent. So in my second ideal world, money being no object, I would have the teeth that I do have replaced by as few implants as possible - I understand this can be done, but my Scottish dentist who I have been corresponding with says this is obviously dependent on certain things. So...... if this could be done, and money was no object, that would be the route I would go down.

However, I doubt I will have this option, and have the option of full dentures - I know there are worse things in my life that could happen, but to me this was always my worst nightmare, and it has become sooooo true.

I am still sooooo down and depressed at this whole thing, and keep crying all the time - making my own life and my families life miserable

I really dont mean to go on, but my confidence has gone out the window and my nerves are in tatters - and I get on my own nerves so must surely get on yours

In the meantime, take care everyone, and thank you again soooo much xx

 

[bisja]

Hi Kim I can sure understand the up and down crazy feelings phew seems like I go through them all day and all night. Money money money what a pain, I understand totally, I have had to take a loan to have mine done. I also understand of the choice for dentures, for me this has to be, but honestly if it means no more pain no more infections, hmmm and no more going through having work done on my teeth well......it doesn't sounds so bad I guess. I can see me going to the dentist if I have any problems and taking my teeth out and saying fix them! Knowing me I will have to take a Valium to handle that! lolol Talk with your hubby see what he thinks, but try not to worry ( I know,yeah RIGHT) One thing I know in my heart, is no matter what, it will all be ok and you will be ok and when it is all done you will be a happy person.

 

[Pianimo]

I really dont mean to go on, but my confidence has gone out the window and my nerves are in tatters - and I get on my own nerves so must surely get on yours

No no no, I promise, you're not getting on anyone's nerves! The whole point of DFC is that it's somewhere where we can seek support from and offer support to other people in the same boat as us. We genuinely really WANT you be honest and tell us everything about what's going on and how you're feeling! So please don't ever feel guilty or embarrassed on our accounts.

I'm glad the letter has now arrived, but I'm sorry it didn't contain the best news. If you have questions or uncertainties about your treatment options then don't hesitate to contact your dentist (you could email if phoning is hard, or ask for a consultation appointment) and ask. Whatever plan you go for, you should fully understand all the options and costs before you decide - remember, it's your decision, not your dentist's, and it's what you want not what he wants that counts. (I know money comes into it a lot too.)

Sorry you're having such a rough time of it at the moment. I wish I could do more to help, but the best I can offer is a good few of these: ! Hope you can feel them in Hertfordshire!

Thinking of you. (And another , for good measure!)

 

[Carys]

Nah, you aren't getting on our nerves, if this was a website about training puppies or fine art techniques...well yeah, then it would be getting on our nerves.

 

[Jaylah]

No Kimmy, I am not angry with you, and you are not getting on my nerves.

What you are is dealing with a very difficult process right now.

Any "normal" person facing the amount of dental work you are facing would be feeling anxious about it.

And then when we add in a dental phobia, what you're basically doing is the impossible.

So how can you say you are shite when you're accomplishing the impossible?

And that's why I don't want to hear any more "I am shite" talk from you. You most assuredly are not "shite." You are an incredibly brave woman who faces her fears and does what she needs to do to take care of herself. And I have incredible respect for that.

Tell me you're nervous. Tell me you're anxious. Tell me you're scared out of your ever-lovin' mind. But don't tell me you are "shite."

I came up with my signature because I read elpheb's posts on here and saw what amazing things she's managed to do. She lost quite a bit of weight, got her finances in order, and then dealt with getting a lot of dental work done, in spite of her dental phobia. Those are all things that I need to address in my life, too. So my signature is just to remind myself that if elpheb could do it, I can, too.

Kimmy, this is not a "zero sum game." Whatever someone else has managed to accomplish doesn't mean your own struggle/journey is any less difficult or any less of an accomplishment.

The beauty of this board is that everyone posting here has dental phobias of one kind or another. We're all here for support. When someone posts who's already finished their treatment and is basically now just doing "maintenance" (regular, routine check-ups), it's because they got the support they needed when they were facing the hard stuff. And they stick around to "pay it forward." If providing support to others going through the hard parts now makes them impatient or "gets on their nerves", I would hope they would stop posting here.

You, my friend, are not "shite." You are an incredibly brave woman, whether you are able to see that right now or not. So I will not have you belittling yourself with that kind of talk.


I'm glad to hear that you've gotten your letter. At least now you have more of an idea of what you're up against. Don't assume the worst before you've even had a chance to talk to your husband.

I do understand that full dentures are not something you even want to have to consider. Heck, I was really afraid I was going to lose my lower front teeth and wear a partial, and just that thought made me cry. But, deep down, I realized better that than than running around toothless. And then I was pleasantly surprised to find out that all but one of those teeth could be saved. And, after pulling the one tooth that was so loose there was no hope for it, my dentist bonded that tooth in place for me (there's no way I could ever afford an implant, either). And I'm not even sure there's enough bone left in that space to put one in, even if I could afford it.

So now I have this "for looks only" tooth in the front of my mouth, and I'll never be able to eat sweet-corn on the cob again. And, for and Iowa gal, that's giving up a lot. But I can eat without pain and my mouth is healthy which means much less risk of having some infection spread to my heart/valve, so I'll deal with it.

And if you do end up with dentures, you'll fight with them a bit while you get used to wearing them. But 10 years from now, you won't really remember anything else. You'll just have a set of perfect, lovely teeth.


Let us know how the talk with hubby goes.