I'm In a state of panic!

[carole]

Roll on Tuesday, at least then you know what you are doing, I hate the not knowing. I have everything crossed that the crown works then both you and your hubby can stop having to worry about the expense on top of everything else.
The expense aspect seems to be overtaking the actual procedure though. I wish you well. Not long now.

 

[bisja]

Hope all works for the good for you. Big Hugs

 

[Kim]

Thank you both Carole and Bisja

I feel that's all I need now is the big hugs - would make me cry but!

Having a Casualty night tonight, have quite a few to watch, and they always make me laugh and cry.

Another day tomorrow xx

 

[Pianimo]

I feel that's all I need now is the big hugs

Well now, if it's hugs you need then you're in luck - I happen to be quite the specialist!


So, here are a few of my best ones, just to help get you through the weekend:





Really do hope you can get through the next couple of days relatively 'unscathed'. Thinking of you. Enjoy your Casualty-athon!

 

[Jaylah]

I'll add a few of my own.

 

[Pianimo]

I'll add a few of my own.

Copycat!

 

[carole]

Well Kim you have the most hugs I've ever seen, if that doesn't help, then I don't know what will. You must be surrounded by it now. Phew

 

[Jaylah]

Well now, if it's hugs you need then you're in luck - I happen to be quite the specialist!


So, here are a few of my best ones, just to help get you through the weekend:





Really do hope you can get through the next couple of days relatively 'unscathed'. Thinking of you. Enjoy your Casualty-athon!

Well, I did tell Carole that I have very little imagination on my own.

 

[Kim]

Ah bless you all, I have NEVER been hugged so much in my whole life, so thank you soooooo much for that, it did make me smile.

My son went out with his mates last night to celebrate 'youngster style' his 18th birthday - he said he would be staying at a friends and would let us know he was ok, so here I am............ still waiting!! Not answering his texts or phone!!!

Another day in the life of a stresshead

 

[Kim]

Update - my son is safe and sound

Just another thing tho' - my tummy has a constant knot in it, and today I have started to feel physically sick again. I am putting this down to it getting nearer to Tuesday, and to making the appointment to begin treatment.

But also, been thinking of whether to write to him saying that if any of the other crowns break during treatment, then to just do a full extraction and I will go along the denture route - I am so scared and still confused, any advice would be great. I cant face the thought of having dentures, but I cant afford to go down the route of full implants at this stage. I have looked at implant retained dentures, and the dentist in Scotland has said that an upper denture normally functions well, but that it would be a possibility of having implant retained lowers if needed.

I think I am overthinking everything at the moment, so apologies for that. I just feel really freaked out, am tempted to take a Diazepam to see if it calms me down, but would get real grief from the family if they knew I did that


I am also freaking out about the thought of whether the iv sedation is going to work, am truly scared it wont!!!!! And I need it to

 

[bisja]

think your iv sedation will work wonderful I so wish I was getting that. I sure understand how you feel right now. big hugs!

 

[Kim]

Thank you Bisja

Am having a horrible day today, we were invited to a (very cold day) bbq, but I cant go, as cant face trying to act as if I am happy when I am down right miserable and petrified. My hubby and kids have gone, and I am here alone, and with tears flowing freely but it is better that way than to let them see me like this all the time.

Your appointment is imminent now isnt it? I am thinking of you hunni - keep us updated - big hugs coming right back to you xoxoxoxo

 

[Carys]

cant face trying to act as if I am happy when I am down right miserable and petrified. My hubby and kids have gone, and I am here alone, and with tears flowing freely but it is better that way than to let them see me like this all the time.

That is so sad Really, I know it is hard, but don't start isolating yourself from anything good or nice (mind, a bbq today doesn't sound that nice )

 

[bisja]

ugh tears do flow easily don't they. soon all of this will be behind you and your life is going to be so much better, smiles will be on your face and laughter flowing freely.

 

[Kim]

Thanks Carys & Bisja

I know I should't isolate myself, but I cant help it. I have no choice but to work, so that is some form of normality, but I couldn't even bring myself to go to my daughter's 30th birthday celebrations, couldn't do today, and cant face going to see my nephew in Scotland in a few weeks time, and he is just home from Afghanistan! I have explained it to him tho' and he was fine - I am not the person I was and I hate it

 

[Carys]

Ok, Kim, remind me, which of the front ones is currently missing/uncrowned ?

 

[Pianimo]

I know I should't isolate myself, but I cant help it. I have no choice but to work, so that is some form of normality, but I couldn't even bring myself to go to my daughter's 30th birthday celebrations, couldn't do today, and cant face going to see my nephew in Scotland in a few weeks time, and he is just home from Afghanistan! I have explained it to him tho' and he was fine - I am not the person I was and I hate it

Oh Kim, poor bairn, I feel for you so much. More coming your way.

The thing is, whilst I completely understand why you're doing this - isolating yourself - I do feel it's making the situation worse rather than better. It's like a cycle - you can't face seeing people, so you avoid going out and stay at home. But being alone and upset, and feeling bad about not going, makes you feel worse. And having stayed home once, it makes the thought of attending the next event even more daunting, and staying at home again seems more inevitable. So, you do stay home the next time...and feel even worse, and want to avoid going the next time even more...and so on! I understand that maybe a big event (like a birthday party) is too much right now, but I firmly believe shutting yourself off entirely is not the answer either.

So, my advice would be: firstly, stop feeling guilty about not going today. It was obviously too much for you, and that's nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. If someone had a broken leg and couldn't make it, you wouldn't blame them for it, and this is no different - you don't choose a phobia any more than you choose any other illness or injury. Secondly, try to think of some things socially you DO feel able to to do, to make sure you're not isolating yourself completely. Perhaps meeting up with your good friends (that you mentioned you could share with), or spending time at home with your husband or your close family. You could phone a friend if seeing them is too hard, but I mean a nice, long chat rather than 5 minutes! We humans are made to need contact, relationships with others, and as much as it seems easier just to shut yourself away, it really won't make you feel better doing that - you may feel relief in the short-term at avoiding facing people, but in the long-run being alone a lot is just going to send your mood lower and lower.

Anyway, have a few more: (and do keep coming back for more - I love to hug!!!!!!!!!). Cry all you need to - crying is one of the best releases we have, and is usually good for us - but as Carys said, don't hide away from good/nice things. Take care of yourself, treat yourself...you need it MORE at the moment, not less. Don't resign yourself to feeling low or think you deserve it - you deserve to feel good and happy and confident as much as the next person. I know your teeth are at the heart of this, but it also goes beyond that. Exactly as you are, right now - with your teeth as they are and your phobia overhwhelming you and making you miserable - you are worth just as much as if/when your teeth are sorted and you have overcome you fear. You mean just as much to people, and they care about you as much. You might feel like you're nothing but a burden right now, and so the best thing for everyone is that you stay out of people's way, but that's the phobia talking, and it's not true. For example, I know your husband finds it hard to understand how you feel, but it's obvious he does care (I'm thinking about that hug he gave you today, after reading your email).

If you had a friend who was feeling exactly the way you are now, for whatever reason, what would you think about them? Seriously, stop now and think EXACTLY what and how you would feel about that person. Now, believe me when I say that chances are, that's exactly how your friends and family are thinking about you. It's part of the anxiety to think the worst of ourselves, and imagine everyone else is doing the same, but it's as unlikely to be true as it is for you to suddenly think that way about them. They may not realise or understand exactly what's going on, or know quite how to help you, but that's a different matter entirely.

Right, I need to stop before I fill up an entire page of your journal! Afraid it's easy to get me going, hard to get me to stop! lol Sorry! I don't know if anything I've said is helpful, but at the very least please take from it that I've read EVERYTHING you've said, and what I see is an amazing, strong woman who is going through a really rough patch, who needs and deserves my sympathy and my respect. So, you've got both...and as many as you can handle!

 

[carole]

Kim can I ask you a question, If your husband, daughter or one of your other kids got in and accident and had facial injuries that everyone recoiled from, would you tell them to shut themselves away and hide, or would you still love them just as much if not more than you do now, and tell them don't worry what anybody else thinks, live your life.

If your nephew got a terrible injury and lost teeth or a limb would you love him less and tell him to shut his self off from everybody as well. I am guessing you would tell them that it is them as the person you love not their teeth or how they look.

Well they obviously love you and a 30th birthday only comes once, do you think your daughter wants you to stay away because you have a tooth missing, or do you think she would be really happy that you had gone and made her night/day.

You are the same person you were, you have just lost a bit of confidence, as would anybody, I would feel very self concious, but I would not miss a moment with the ones I love because of it. Please find the strength and live your life you are making yourself really ill. It is not a good situation.

I am willing Tuesday to come for you and then the appointment. Then we can all breath a sigh of relief with you and for you.

 

[Pianimo]

See, look - another one snuck out! Sorry, sometimes I just can't keep them in!

 

[Carys]

See, look - another one snuck out! Sorry, sometimes I just can't keep them in!

Ok, taken out of context....WHAT does this mean ? (I didn't see the hugging thing at first LOL)

I agree with Carole entirely, some wise words in the first two paragraphs (and probably the rest too, but can't remember what she said in the rest), you can't not got to your daughters 30th Birthday. People would much rather YOU were there, than you missed it because of something a few cms long that is not in your mouth.