I'm in URGENT Need of Support

[Jenny_92]

Hey guys, so I posted this to my journal but I know this gets more traffic and right now I NEED support. So here's the posting.

I Don't Think I Can Title This...

So today was my second cleaning appointment...

This is my emotion right now: ​

I haven't stopped crying since I left the place, over and hour and a half ago and I'm pretty sure I'm having an emotional breakdown.​

Allow me to explain.​

So anybody who has read my anything about me knows that me and hygienists don't work. When I went to my last cleaning appointment I met Roz who is the nicest hygienist on the planet.​

She made me feel so good about everything that I booked another appointment for today.​

I know this will sound insane and crazy but I had a bad feeling about today. I can't explain it but everything seemed...weird today.​

First my dad and I didn't get our usual parking spot, then we had to walk on the other side of the road to get to the dentist.​

I know it sounds weird but that never happens. My gut kept saying something is wrong but I ignored it assuming it was the phobia.​

Anyways I went up to the second floor and waited. I was way more nervous then last time and something told me something was wrong I had to get out of there.​

But I didn't listen.​

Oh and by the way that receptionist I didn't like, yeah the entire time she made personal calls. On company time. And ignored everybody. She ought to be fired.​

Anyways the moment of truth, I head footsteps and...​

Someone else emerged.​

Roz was not cleaning my teeth today.​

Me:​

She looked exactly like the woman I had as a kid, the one who gave me a phobia in the first place.​

Anyways, I went back with her and my dad actually said at this point he too had a bad feeling.​

So we go back to the room and she told me what her name was. I don't remember and frankly I never want to remember that woman's name again​

I told her I had dental phobia, a high gag reflex and had an issue with fluoride.​

She blew me off. She just said to me "well you shouldn't swallow fluoride. It will give you a tummy ache."​

I KNOW THAT. It's kind of hard to spit it out when a hand is clamped ON your mouth which I tried to say but she sort of ignored me.​

Anyways, she put the chair back way father then I'm used to and then used the ultrasonic thingy.​

It wasn't too bad. Then she scraped. And I don't mean the scraping like before. I mean brutal, hurts like hell scraping where I thought she was ripping my mouth open.​

She was hurting me and I kept saying "ow" but she ignored me!​

At one point I put my hand up, surely she would know a stop signal right?​

Nope. She gave me the suction thing to get rid of the blood and when back to work.​

SHE IGNORED ME.​

My worst fears about the hygienist came true today. And it was a sad day for me and for Altima Dental I believe because they shouldn't employ such a person.​

Anyways, continuing on. If that wasn't bad enough she said I have no excuse for not brushing my teeth all the time.​

No I don't. But last time I checked people with perfectly healthy mouths DID NOT brush four times a day either.​

Yeah she blew off everything I said to her. At that point I held in my tears but they started to leak out.​

I felt like a two year old.​

I wanted to leave. I wanted to bite her finger like a little kid apparently did to her once (GO KID!)​

Anyways, she told me all this stuff I have to do and I understood that part. You have to attack aggressively if I'm going to get my gums healthy.​

But here's the problem. She doesn't know me or my backstory. She didn't let me explain that my hormonal changes (I have a hormonal issue) causes my teeth to become more red and inflamed while I'm on my period.​

I tried telling her that, because I'm currently on said period (And by the way sorry if this is TMI I just felt it needs to be explained)​

But once again she looked at me like I was insane.​

She said she can't do it for me, I have to do it myself. And that I'll go through this the rest of my life if I don't do anything about it now.​

I KNOW THAT WHY DO YOU THINK I'M THERE.​

I also told her about that pesky baby tooth that I wanted her to keep away from. Once again I was ignored.​

Here's the other thing: I didn't stop shaking the whole time. I've NEVER done that. I just couldn't stop. And I was so nervous I kept scratching my hand UNTIL it bled. I took the skin clear off. That's how scared and in pain I was.​

Oh and the other tidbit: She told me to open my mouth bigger and bigger. I opened as wide as I could and she told me it wasn't big enough!​

What the heck was I supposed to do? Magically get a bigger mouth?​

Stupid idiot.​

Anyways, she gave me a whole bunch of stuff to use when I got home and a new regime.​

The problem is I barely remember it.​

I don't care though I know what I'm supposed to do.​

AND ANOTHER THING.​

Roz never said anything about how bad my gums were or all this other crap she was sprouting off (Did I mention she told me she couldn't actually see properly in my mouth) so I'm wondering about this chick. She went to school in the 80s I guess that says it all.​

Anyways, once I was done I went out of there. Saw my dad and burst into tears. I tried to make it till I was outside but I just couldn't.​

So I burst into tears and ran away with people staring at me.​

I told my Dad and Mom who are intent on phoning Altima and getting the woman fired. The problem is... how do I know that isn't what they do? What part was my phobia and what part was too far?​

*Sighs*​

So that's how I wound up on this board pleading for help. I just need major support right now.​

Especially since it's been 2 hours now and I haven't stopped crying.​

(Oh and also I made another check up with the hygienist for the 23rd of March, actually Miss. Evil Hygienist made it without asking, luckily I said I wanted to Roz and got her)​

 

[carole]

What a shame that you made this great effort and was knocked back. Don't let one ignorant person that sounds too wrapped up in her own importance to even care about the damage she is doing to peoples mental state.

This kind of thing makes me so mad, I feel for you that you suffered this horrible visit. It feels like one step forward and two back.

Dry your eyes, don't allow this women to carry on hurting you. If you get to your next appointment and it is not Roz, then politely say no thank you I need to see Roz, and rearrange the appointment.

Don't be beaten by this, I know it's hard and I also know the sheer strength it takes to attend an appointment, we can all do without this inconsiderate attitude.

You could send an e mail explaining how upset this visit has made you, and as a phobic tell them how hard it was to get this far, when you had felt so happy with the treatment you had received on previous visits.

You could put it tactfully about the receptionist and say you would have liked to have had a word with her to explain your situation but she seemed too busy, and you ended up leaving in tears, and that you were upset for the rest of the day.

On the positive as hard as it was you are a step nearer to a healthier mouth and once you recover yourself your teeth will feel better.

I hope you have a more positive experience next time. To put your mind at rest next time you could ring up before you go to check that it will be Roz doing your mouth. That way if she isn't there you can rearrange the appointment.

I know it's hard but try cheer up, don't let her continue hurting you.
I believe in Kama, what goes around comes around. Smile you've earned it.

 

[brit]

This was for another poster but it also applies to you: what a biatch you saw.
YES. In short several moderators on this forum (past and present) have personal experience of 'painful dental hygiene' and 'painless dental hygiene' and I am one of them.

Possible causes of painful dental hygiene are:
1. rough hygienist
2. gum sensitivity - in which case gels will help such as Oraquix
3. tooth/ dentine sensitivity - in which case being numbed up will eliminate all the pain.

The most likely cause is Number 1 though, I still do regular 6m cleans with no anaesthetic or gels but my hygienist is gentle, unrushed and thorough. The most you should expect to feel with the 'scraper method' is one or two twinges per appt if they accidentally angle it wrongly.

The ultrasonic scaler is the modern method and it involves zingy sensations sometimes for nanoseconds - some people prefer this. My hygienist does a mixture but does most the old-fashioned way as I prefer it. She is an older lady though. The young hygienists may well claim they can only do ultrasonic.

You can and should go elsewhere if they can't make this comfortable for you. Since she is in denial I suggest 'voting with your feet' or giving your dentist one last chance to make things right is the way forward.
She is a hygienist, minimal education required to do the training, most dentists do not want their overzealous insensitive hygienists to scare their patients away. Many are unaware though how often it happens. Weird how so many of them seem to think RDH=License to Hurt.
I assure you it does not.

 

[Jenny_92]

Thank you both for your comments.
I've calmed down quite a bit since yesterday, and I found out that my Mother (who when she saw me in the car red eyed and crying hysterically like a maniac) saw red. She and my Dad (while I was in my bedroom privately breaking down and clutching one of my old teddy bears for dear life) phoned the dentist and have said that woman is to never touch me again. They have also lodged a formal complaint against her.
My parents used to think I was exaggerating as a kid about my phobia I think they get it now.
They were both very wonderful to me and I was happy they understood and wanted to make it better.
The only problem is my Mom blames herself. I told her it wasn't her fault at all, I just got one of the bad ones.
Roz and Dr. Sam are both wonderful people at that practice. If I can stick with them I know I'll have a lovely smile with no tears
Oh and a few other things I thought of but forgot to post: She blamed me gagging (3 times in fact) on my tongue telling me it was doing weird things in my mouth.
She told me all this stuff she thought was happening to my teeth. Dr. Sam AND Roz had never mentioned it before. I mean it's been 2 weeks since I've seen Roz but I'm pretty sure she would have noticed all the unhealthy, decay going on in my mouth and the calcium build-up which will eat away at my jaw and kill me.
Yeah, she's a nice one. Not
Anyways, I have another appointment booked March 22nd at 3:10. I'm with Roz that time, but as my mother told the person whom she complained to on the phone, she has no idea if I'll even be able to go.
I'm planning to but I don't know how I'll be. Hopefully I'll be able to get through it and Roz will be like she was with me before. Nice, sweet, caring.
Oh and Brit, Roz isn't an older one but she also uses the old fashioned method more (which I didn't mind at all, mostly because I didn't drool as much.) The older evil hygienist (as I call her) actually preferred the more modern method of doing things.

 

[Mikey Boy]

I don't even know where to start I mean for you to have gone through all of that still be here PROPS that lady should be fired there is no reason to be that mean when we go to the dentist we want to feel like we are really being cared for and don't have to be ashamed or afraid and know that it will all be as painless as possible great job on how much you have over come if you want please feel free to read my journal - my dental journey I hope you make it to ur next appointment

 

[brit]

Very glad your parents are fighting your corner for you. It would be good if they could put the complaint in writing including all the bits of mean conversation you recall. I suspect DrSam has no idea she is like this.

 

[RP]

I think, despite how upset you are, and justifiably so (I'm one of those mods brit mentioned and I pay extra for topical now) you have to congratulate yourself- you made it through that! And you are OK now.

I suspect cleanings will not be so difficult now that you've had a thorough clean and there is no reason for a cleaning to hurt. What a jerk!. When you put your hand up and she ignored that- your next move should have been to put your hand over your mouth, get up and walk out. Or better yet, demand to see Dr Sam right now! Obviously she is clueless of the impact of fear and anxiety and painful dental work and vice versa. Send her a note for "helping" you go back into the phobic loop, let her know what she did and maybe stop her from doing it to anyone else.

You did it, its over, and it should never happen again, because next time (if there is one) you will get up and leave. Right?!

rp

 

[mghstl]

I'm seeing RED for you right now.
OK, I'm calming down.
First off, Major kudos to your parents. I'd kill anyone who harmed one of my kids and ask ?s later. Don't be embarassed by their actions...keep letting them know how grateful you are.
Don't feel bad about putting a bad mark on that witch's record! You are probably NOT the 1st who's complained.
REFUSE, absolutely REFUSE to have her attend any of your future appointments. If she's the only one available, reschedule.
I had one bad experience similar to yours...cried for a whole day...felt like a fusspot...let my old phobias back in the door...then I made my wishes known and never saw that hygienist again (OK, she was fired, but not just because of me!).
You did a great thing by seeing it thru, and now you've confirmed what is "unacceptable" for you. It's YOUR $$$ and your mouth, and you don't owe that witch ANYTHING, including your time and trust!
OK, getting off my soapbox now.
Put the memory of this experience into an appropriate place in your mind (ie, things not allowed). You did GREAT...the witch did bad.
And hugs to your great and supportive parents!

 

[Jenny_92]

Thank you everyone for the wonderful comments and support
I feel really great about how I calmed myself down. And how I'm ready to go back. Really. As long as I get Roz and can explain to her what happened I think I'll be fine.
Honestly though, I think that woman should lose her job. She should NEVER treat patients that way. It's just plain wrong.
I'm doing much better now though, I'm not letting this experience bring me down at all. I want my nice smile and I'm going to get it.
Oh and just one more note about this woman. She asked me about Dr. Sam prescribing me that stuff for your gums (I can't remember the name) I told her he had and she said okay I want you to use it for 3 weeks.
Um... I don't have any left. Maybe enough for a few days but not for 3 weeks because he prescribed it only for 1 week.
Yeah. Stupid person.
Anyways, I'm done with it now. Just thought I would mention that.
But I'll be sure to tell my parents that you guys think they're great. I do too obviously. It's great to have the support I do.
Anyways, I'm looking forward to more positive experiences and a great smile

 

[beech23]

Jenny - I was so mad for you reading your story. That is just simply unacceptable practice. Simply never ever see this woman again!

I am so glad your parents reacted as they did, and that you are now much happier with it all.
Can you call ahead before your next appointment to be completely sure who you are seeing Roz before you go to the practise that day!

Good luck on your journey =)

 

[nervouswreck]

I'm sorry you had to have such an experience. I have been in that situation myself before, and it is horrible. It is also how I discovered this forum!

Good show on your parents part for lodging a formal complaint. After my bad experience I did the same thing and I have only been seen by the person I complained about once when there was no one else available.

As traumatic as it was, think of it this way: you did it. You made it through it.

For future visits, just make sure you'll be seen by Roz. If you won't be, reschedule your appointment if possible.