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I'm new and I am really scared... support/advice/ about my problem would be gratefully received!

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anony

Junior member
Joined
Apr 10, 2013
Messages
1
I'm new and I am really scared... support/advice/ about my problem would be gratefully received!

Hello.After years of doing nothing I stumbled across this forum on a search engine - I'm glad you all exist!I would be massively grateful for your help, advice and, perhaps, support...I'm anony, I've got bad teeth and I'm afraid, too afraid, of the dentist.I am 35+ years old and have, of course, been to the dentist before in my life - though I can't remember when. I think, it may have been in 2001 - the dentist identified a problem and I was too afraid to go back. I'm fairly certain the problem has got worse!Other dental problems aside (of which I am sure there are many) the main "root" of my problem is in one of my upper molars (I think - the back/side teeth used to chew). A "while" ago there was tooth decay and fillings done, but at some point in time the filling fell out and the tooth, seemingly quite brittle, has broken down. This has, over time, caused occassionally extruciating pain. A long while ago now I discovered the miracle of clove oil. I can recall liberally applying clove oil on the morning of my wedding (some years ago) "just in case". I can equally recall a few doses of clove oil and a heavy brushing getting me through a holiday in Greece after a glass of Ouzo caused untold pain on the first night many years ago. I now keep a bottle everywhere - in my bathroom cabinet, in my travel bag, in my car, in my office... it has got me through some pretty tough battles.But of course, the problem has not really gone away. My dental routine now regularly consists of Euthymol toothpaste (the strong pink stuff), Oraldene mouthwash and, on occassion, an application of the clove oil. I dread to think of the damage I've done to my mouth and gums in the process - a slight burning sensation is not uncommon these days.Along the way I have also experienced bleeding gums and I am now scared beyond belief.I've tried to live with it as the pain comes and goes - and I usually win the battle after the clove oil has come out... but I now note that the pain is no longer in the tooth area but up in the gum. It also feels slightly swollen but I can't bring myself to have a proper look.The tooth in question has now broken so much that there is not much below the gum line - certainly nothing to grip on to. There's obviously a hole, but I doubt my dental routine will have prevented a bigger unseen problem from growing bigger still.I fear root canal problems. I fear an abcess. I fear the tooth can't be extracted. I fear the cost of any work (I am stony broke). I sort of fear pain, but that has slipped down the list somewhat...I am really, really, really scared about what might happen if I don't get it sorted, but because of the massive list of concerns I am equally really REALLY scared of going to a dentist - especially after so much time - what else might they find?!I am really at a loss as to what to do, but realise I can't go on like this.Can anyone help?!Thanks in advance!
 
Steve In Cleveland

Steve In Cleveland

Well-known member
Forum Buddy
Joined
Apr 10, 2012
Messages
565
Location
Cleveland, OH (USA)
Re: I'm new and I am really scared... support/advice/ about my problem would be gratefully received!

Hi anony,

I'm so sorry to hear how much pain you're in (physically and emotionally). You're not alone-- everyone here has been through what you're going through, and many of us much much worse. The good news is, you aren't beyond help... a good dentist can work with you to fix whatever's broken, and as you start fixing your teeth, the pain and worrying will go away too. When I went back to the dentist last year, I had about a dozen teeth that were in various states of broken, crumbled, jagged, big black spots, gaping holes... you name it. My dentist was very calm and walked through what each tooth needed, without judging or shrieking or even seeming like my condition wasn't all that unusual. That's because it's not. Dentists see people with much much worse, all the time.

I suffered with most of what you're describing for twenty years, although no one ever told me about clove oil! :hmm: I wish I'd known that trick. Although I can't diagnose you over the internet (or even in person-- I'm not a dentist), I can tell you that a tooth in the condition you describe can sometimes still be rebuilt, depending on the condition of the tooth inside the gum. If not, extraction is super-easy, even with nothing to "grab onto". The tooth that kept me away from the dentist for years was just like this. I had images of needing to have my gums all cut open to let the dentist have enough tooth to hold onto, etc. As it turns out, even if the tooth is completely worn so that nothing is exposed, as mine was, it's a simple thing to extract the tooth by nudging it from side to side to rock it out. My extraction took less than ten minutes and was *completely* painless-- after it was over I kicked myself for not getting it done sooner, but I had all those horrible images in my mind.

Bleeding gums and all the rest will get better once you get started. Once the cause of the pain is gone, either by fixing the bad tooth or removing it, you'll be amazed at how quickly the rest of your mouth will start to feel better.

The hardest part of the whole thing is really just getting started. You've taken a big step just by telling your story here, which requires a ton of courage. Unfortunately, there's no easy way to make that first appointment and sit in the chair the first time. You just have to do it. But, what I would recommend is looking through dentist reviews on this forum, Google for dentists in your area and read patient reviews, etc. And try to find a dentist that sounds like someone you might trust. You can schedule a consultation to start, which is just a visit to talk to the dentist and hopefully let them have a look (just a look) at your mouth. If you can handle an x-ray, that's really helpful. But that's it, for the first visit. The dentist can tell you what work needs to be done, answer your questions, and try to put you at ease. A friendly dentist won't yell at you or ask you what on earth you did, etc. (You can read about my first visit back here.)

The most important thing for you now, probably, is to know that you're not a bad person, and you haven't done anything wrong. Dental phobia creeps up on us and it's actually normal to avoid the dentist to avoid some scary procedure, and then it becomes a cycle-- the longer you stay away, the worse your teeth are, and the harder it is to face the dentist. That's how most of us ended up here, and it's completely normal. So, try to let go of the shame and forgive yourself for what brought you here. Try to think of it like a car that needs fixing: accept the fact that you haven't changed the oil in way too long, and get that thing into a mechanic to find out what you can do to fix it.

Good luck, and thanks for sharing your story here! Feel free to post and vent all you want while you work up the courage to make that first call. We'll be here for you!
 
D

Davee

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2013
Messages
135
Re: I'm new and I am really scared... support/advice/ about my problem would be gratefully received!

anony you seem very resourceful. I have heard of clove oil, and always keep that in the back of my mind just in case of a dental emergency. You know their are many stories on this forum of people who thought the worse, but found their problems sorted out much easier then they imagined. I hope you are one of those people. I think you really need to see the dentist because if your tooth infection is now in the gum, you can lose the teeth next to the problem tooth. Much better to get it fixed, or extracted then lose those buddy teeth. Since you are so clever to have dealt with your problem this long, I think you will do very well when you seek out a dental intervention. You mention pain as one of your fears, but I think you will do well dealing with a short period of pain to bring you back to dental health, as you have dealt with this chronic, intermittent dental pain for so long. You will go the dentist, get your problem fixed and ditch the clove oil I suspect.
 
K

kpaul91101

Junior member
Joined
Apr 17, 2013
Messages
11
Location
mn
Re: I'm new and I am really scared... support/advice/ about my problem would be gratefully received!

I am sorry to hear of your suffering and I understand! I hadn't been to the dentist in years and am 32, from the fear and neglecting dental visits I need 15 plus fillings and multiple extractions but I tell you I wasn't able to let anyone touch my mouth until I felt comfortable with a dentist, I seen a few and met one who understood my fear and was compassionate and that is the most important thing when it comes to dental care, is having a dentist we trust and feel comfortable with. I panicked at the thought of going into a dental clinic and now I can go and have fillings done, and that was a huge step for me! You can do this. I believe in you and you need to believe in yourself! To live with constant pain and worry is an awful way to live, I know! It in always on our mind, the pain, the breaking of more teeth and the infection risks or having one are there too but there is hope. I am happy you are reaching out to people, we all need support/advice when we are facing scary things and I commend you for talking about your situation. Please try to find a dentist , go for a consult with someone and tell them your fears! If they aren't understanding find another dentist. Trust me they are out there! And if you need teeth pulled and cannot afford IV sedation or GA I know someone who had 7 teeth removed just with novacaine and they said it was painless so it will also be painless for you! As for the state of your teeth, there are many options now a days that can save teeth even when little is left or alternatives. If you can't afford replacing any teeth you may need pulled now, there are things you could do in the future like a bride, a denture, or even an implant. Try not to worry! Fear is an awful thing to have but a lot of it is the unknown. Also it's the what ifs we ask ourselves and the questions always seem to be negative I believe, and that feeds the fear and creates greater anxiety! Don't be ashamed or embarrassed. All of us on here are either fearful or have been there and we are all here to share our experiences and offer hope and encouragement! I am glad to find this site and read the successes of others who have faced their fears of dental work. I hope you set up a consult with a dentist and find one that you feel comfortable with!Good luck and you can do it:clover::clover::clover::clover::clover::clover::clover:
 
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