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I'm petrified and ashamed of how they look (pic included)

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Sarah18

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Jan 13, 2020
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Birmingham
I'm petrified going to the dentist, I haven't been for a few years and before that I had perfect teeth. I fear they are now in a terrible state and will have to have them removed.

The last few years I had a couple of miscarriages and then I've been blessed with my amazing baby. The whole time I was sick whether through morning sickness or anxiety and grinding my teeth and it's completely ruined my teeth.

I'm so ashamed and embarrassed to go to the dentist.

I've actually made an appointment at the end of the week and that was such a big thing for me to do, I was in tears on the phone to the receptionist 🙈 feel like such an idiot.

I'm more scared about having to have teeth extracted I know I will need work and all I want to hear is they won't have to remove any.

I have one that is sensitive and hurts on the odd occasion if I bite down.
Another one I had a filling in years ago the filling has partially come out.

I've spent hours taking photos of my teeth and being so upset at how yellow they are and all the enamel is missing. It's taken a lot for me to post this and also include a photo

They all feel strong and none wobble, none are black or broken but I have a huge fear the dentist will tell me a few will have to be extracted.

This fear is consuming me at the moment and I need it gone. I so want to get it all sorted out.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I haven't told anyone about this as I'm too ashamed. Any encouragement would be amazing I'm trying to stay strong and keep the appointment
 

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kitkat

kitkat

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Hi,
I am not a dentist but based on your picture, I would be very surprised if you needed any extractions. I do not see any obvious issues that stand out just based on appearance. Well done for making an appointment as that can sometimes be the hardest step. Please let us know how you get on.
 
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frostgirl

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Hi Sarah18 and welcome!

Well done on making an appointment!

Honestly I can related to you with panicking about the state of my teeth. Before I went two years ago, I hadn't been to a dentist in 15/16 years. I was so worried that I had a load of problems and that I would need a lot of work done. But I had never had any toothaches or pain. I went to one, and I didn't need anything doing. I think we can all build up in our minds how bad we think it is, but in reality, it is mostly not as bad as we think it is.

We're all here for you, and hopefully your appointment will go well and that the dentist is understanding and caring :XXLhug:
 
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Sarah18

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Hi Kitkat,

Thank you for taking the time to reply it's really kind of you.
I feel so stupid with it all.
You're right the phone call was so hard, couldn't believe how I got upset on the phone.
Just have to try and walk into the place now and get through the appointment.

Any idea how long the first appointment would be with xrays and treatment plan?

Thank you for looking at the photo, I really appreciate it and helps me feel a bit better
 
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Sarah18

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Hi Sarah18 and welcome!

Well done on making an appointment!

Honestly I can related to you with panicking about the state of my teeth. Before I went two years ago, I hadn't been to a dentist in 15/16 years. I was so worried that I had a load of problems and that I would need a lot of work done. But I had never had any toothaches or pain. I went to one, and I didn't need anything doing. I think we can all build up in our minds how bad we think it is, but in reality, it is mostly not as bad as we think it is.

We're all here for you, and hopefully your appointment will go well and that the dentist is understanding and caring :XXLhug:
Thank you, it's nice to know others are feeling or have felt the same. I just feel so stupid and angry at myself. Unfortunately anxiety has got the better of me so many times.

Just have the feeling I'm going to be devastated with the dentist turning round and saying well you need 4 extractions.

That's fantastic you needed no work doing after all those years, wish I could be so lucky as I will definitely need work on two teeth just petrified I will need them all out and implants fitted
 
kitkat

kitkat

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Hi Kitkat,

Thank you for taking the time to reply it's really kind of you.
I feel so stupid with it all.
You're right the phone call was so hard, couldn't believe how I got upset on the phone.
Just have to try and walk into the place now and get through the appointment.

Any idea how long the first appointment would be with xrays and treatment plan?

Thank you for looking at the photo, I really appreciate it and helps me feel a bit better
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Sometimes our emotions sneak up on us; if you ever read my journal, you will see that I have had my fair share of moments where I have reacted unexpectedly and felt foolish afterward but my dentist always greets me the next time as if nothing ever happened. You will feel much better once you know what you are dealing with for better or worse. Typically the news is never as bad as we imagine... our brain is very good at thinking of the very worst possibilities. The first appointment should probably only take 30 to 45 minutes. The actual exam only takes a few minutes as do the xrays. You spend more time just sitting and waiting and then a little bit of talking.
 
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frostgirl

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Sarah18, I can relate to you so much about anxiety getting the better of you. It's hard, but we will get better.

Another member of the site (krlovesherkids777) turned around the what ifs for me. So instead of worrying you need teeth out, what if the dentist said you don't? What if you go and find you don't need a lot of treatment? Instead of worrying that you need all your teeth out, what if you just need those two teeth that you say bothers you treating? I think it's all a matter of how we frame, which I know is easier said than done. Trust me, I am a worst case scenario person some of the time. But I'm slowly getting better at not jumping to the worst possible scenario.

Hopefully it goes well for you :clover:
 
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Sarah18

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I'm getting so scared with my appointment coming round so quickly. I'm trying really hard to makesure I go and don't miss it.

I'm just so scared they are going to tell me I need teeth extracting. For some reason I can cope with root canal or lots of fillings (strange I know) but I just can't cope with the thought of extractions. I keep playing over in my head then telling me well you need 4 extractions (don't know why 4 just keeps coming up in my head)

I don't know how to even speak when I get in there, do I tell them everything about my fear?

I'm scared all start crying as soon as I'm there.

Scared they will say my teeth are awful.

Sorry to go on about it all. I'm really thankful you've taken the time to support me and respond to my posts it's really been helpful I guess as time gets closer my anxiety is through the roof
 
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frostgirl

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Sending hugs your way :XXLhug:

I would mention your fear to them, if you can talk about it. It will definitely help them and help you. No good dentist will say your teeth are awful. They want to help you get your teeth back to being healthy and pain free. If you cry, they may be even more sympathetic and understanding.

(I'm sorry if my post makes no sense, I'm in a bit of a weird state)
 
kitkat

kitkat

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Some people cry and that’s okay. As frostgirl said, that may make them be even nicer to you. You can tell them as much as you want to tell them. It is helpful to them if you can express your fears even on a basic level. Would it be helpful to write out a little note that you could give to the receptionist when you get there? They usually have you fill out paperwork anyway so you could just pass it to them at that time. I can assure you that, no matter what happens, they have seen it all before. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling how you do. Feelings are what they are and working through all of these emotions is just part of the process. We are here to support you if you need to vent or just think out loud. Everyone here has either already been in your shoes, are still in your shoes, or thinking about trying on your shoes! This is the hardest part...once you know what you’re dealing with and get through the first appointment, you will feel so much better!
 
Dg6300

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Also not a dentist, but I do recognize courage when I see it: you have demonstrated enormous courage by getting it all out here, and even posting pictures (which don’t look too bad, to my untrained eye!).

A next step for you, when you’re ready, is to tell a dental professional just exactly what you told us. And if you already told us all that, then you can do it again, right?

But for now just enjoy the good outcomes of sharing here: you got it all out, no one judged or condemned you, and you got some encouragement and advice. That is a good enough victory to last you for awhile. Such courage. You’ve come a lot farther than you realize. Keep us posted as to your future success (spoiler: you’re already a success).
 
Dg6300

Dg6300

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One more thing: Your teeth look a lot like mine. We’re you to switch a photo of your teeth with a photo of mine, I don’t think I could tell the difference.

And while my teeth are in increasingly good shape, they are very yellow. I am astonished sometimes. I do encourage you, kindly, to wary of Hollywood teeth. Most of them are veneers.

You’re going to make it. Keep us posted.
 
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frostgirl

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Another thing I should mention, when I went to a new dentist in August, on the medical history form I had to fill in, there was a question asking if you're anxious or nervous about dental treatment, so I think dentists are aware that people are very anxious, nervous or phobic about going to the dentist. I mean this was at a small private dentist, not an NHS one, but they may have something similar at the practice you've chosen. So even if you can't mention it, they might have something like that, and at least they'll know.

When's the appointment booked for? Have you got a way to treat yourself for going?
 
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Sarah18

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Omg I've only gone and done it. I can't believe it and feel like I'm dreaming that I've been.

Just heading home will update how it went

Thank you so much for your support
 
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Sarah18

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I still can't believe I went, well what can i say I'm just shocked. My new dentist is amazing so lovely and patient and kind. Put me at ease straight away, I didn't cry well nearly did and they said if you feel like crying there is no problem but I just went in and told them how I felt and got on with it.
I told him of my fear of extractions and after a check of each tooth he said I can assure you now there is no need for an extraction. Wow what a sigh of relief.

Said my teeth look in really good shape especially for what I've been through and the time between appointments.

I then had xrays taken which we looked at together.

So the outcome, I have one tiny filling needed to be done, it's small enough it only needs numbing gel nothing else!

I'm a bit surprised as I do have a bit of pain in one tooth but the xray was clear, I will get him to check that again next time though just in case (worrying again!)

All those years that this fear has been consuming me and causing me so much anxiety it's been making me feel Ill and suddenly in the space of a day I've been and it really feels like I've dreamt I've been.

Can't believe I'm finally registered with a dentist now and going back in a couple of weeks.

I can't thank you enough for the support you've given me. I'll be back on here before my next appointment as I'm sure I'll be scared
 
kitkat

kitkat

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That is fabulous news! I am so happy to hear that they treated you so well and that you do not need any extractions. You should feel very proud of yourself for going through with it as that’s not easy!
That is awesome that you were able to be upfront with expressing your fears with them (I’m still not very good at that!). I think it takes a lot of courage to admit that you are fearful to the dental staff. Your success story will definitely encourage other people to keep moving forward. I too have a filling scheduled in a couple of weeks as does another member @Hartington99 . I told @Hartington99 that we are appointment buddies but you can join the club now and we can be a trio! :cheer2::cheer2::cheer2:
 
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