• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is very afraid of dentistry or who suffers with dental phobia. Please note that this is NOT a dental problems forum! You can find a list of them here.

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I'm terrified of the dentist, but desperately need to go.

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Springfairy556

Junior member
Joined
Aug 4, 2016
Messages
7
I am so scared of the dentist, ever since I was a kid.I remember I convienced my grandmother once that mom told me we had to cancel my dentist appointment.lol I'm 28 now and haven't been since I was 9 or 10, because of my fear.

To make things worse, as a kid I never brushed my teeth, had poor dental hygiene and I wish I had worked harder to take care of them, and wish my parents would have kicked my behind for being lazy, because I pay for it now, a lot of my top teeth are gone or broken, and I have a few cavities on the bottom.

I know its basically too late for my missing teeth(almost all my top, again I was a lazy kid, and I hate myself for it) But I have a tooth that can be saved by a filling on top and should go.

My fear is not the pain anymore, but the lecture and embarrassment I'm gonna get from my dentist.I already know I did a terrible job at taking care of my teeth, a 28 year old should have all her teeth, not be missing half of them(One of them unfortunately, as a kid, I got a string wrapped around it and it got pulled out) but the rest was from poor hygiene.

Any advice on how to just suck it up and go.:redface: I know I need to save what teeth I do have left, but really I'm just so embarrassed by what a lazy kid I was.Nothing they can do about my teeth that are gone, but wish I could face the fear to at least fix what I do have.
 
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sunflower32

Member
Joined
May 5, 2016
Messages
74
Location
USA
Hi Springfairy. Welcome! I know it can be sooo hard to go back to the dentist after so many years away, but I know you can do it! Just by posting on here, you've already taken that first step. I only recently started going back to the dentist myself, so I understand first-hand how difficult it can be. I have five full months of dental NON-avoidance under my belt now, but does that mean I don't get scared anymore? Nope. But it DOES get easier. And you're definitely not alone in this. Many people on this forum understand where you're at and will be there to support you if you need it.

I understand that you fear the shame of being lectured by the dentist, but any good dentist will NOT lecture you. All they want is to help you in your journey to getting a healthy mouth. I had a bit of that shame myself about a month ago when I went to an orthodontic consultation. I tend to have a hard time opening up about my fear, but I felt like I really wanted to, so I started my story of what led me to the consultation by saying, "Before a few months ago, I hadn't gone to the dentist in a REALLY long time". I know I said it in a way that made it quite obvious that I was ashamed of my years of dental avoidance. But the orthdontist didn't lecture me at all. He just said something along the lines of "what matters is that you're here now", implying that I can't change the past, but good for me for doing something about it now.

So to reiterate, you should NOT be lectured! If you are, find a different dentist! There are plenty of good ones out there. And good for you for starting this journey! You can do it!
 
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had-enough

Member
Joined
Dec 11, 2013
Messages
62
Location
newcastle upon tyne
I am so scared of the dentist, ever since I was a kid.I remember I convienced my grandmother once that mom told me we had to cancel my dentist appointment.lol I'm 28 now and haven't been since I was 9 or 10, because of my fear.

To make things worse, as a kid I never brushed my teeth, had poor dental hygiene and I wish I had worked harder to take care of them, and wish my parents would have kicked my behind for being lazy, because I pay for it now, a lot of my top teeth are gone or broken, and I have a few cavities on the bottom.

I know its basically too late for my missing teeth(almost all my top, again I was a lazy kid, and I hate myself for it) But I have a tooth that can be saved by a filling on top and should go.

My fear is not the pain anymore, but the lecture and embarrassment I'm gonna get from my dentist.I already know I did a terrible job at taking care of my teeth, a 28 year old should have all her teeth, not be missing half of them(One of them unfortunately, as a kid, I got a string wrapped around it and it got pulled out) but the rest was from poor hygiene.

Any advice on how to just suck it up and go.:redface: I know I need to save what teeth I do have left, but really I'm just so embarrassed by what a lazy kid I was.Nothing they can do about my teeth that are gone, but wish I could face the fear to at least fix what I do have.


Hi springfairy!!

I am basically in the same situation as you but a few months ahead. I hadn't seen a dentist in approx 10 years and I have a really massive phobia of not only the dentist but the shame and embarrassment of the state of my teeth.

I am 27 and I managed to pluck up the courage to go to a dentist around a year ago. He told me I needed all of my back teeth removed top and bottom and the front they could save. I only went because I was sick of being depressed and new they were getting worse and that I HAD to save some.

So... after a year of being ashamed to let the dentist look in my mouth I am now comfortable with him and have no worries as he had gained my trust.

In the past year iv had fillings, cleaning and 2 lots of impressions for a immediate partial.

On Wednesday 10th August I will have a general anesthetic for all the back teeth removed and guess what... I'm looking forward to it and to the end of my dental treatment!

Now if I can do it anyone can. This is someone who has a mouthful of awful rotten teeth and literally if I'd left it any longer I would of lost all of them. My only regret is now doing it sooner.

Well done for seeking to confront your fear and it honestly won't be as bad as you think. Most of the dentists iv seen have been very understanding.

Could you try and make it clear to the receptionist that ur very ashamed and embarrassed. I did. I sent an email and the dentist never ridiculed me once.

Hope this might help you a bit

Feel free to message me if you need anymore support :)
 
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bigg9058

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 30, 2012
Messages
111
Totally agree with everyone else - any decent Dentist won't lecture you and, if they do, you don't have to stand (or sit) for it.

This is coming from someone who is 37, didn't go to the dentist for 15 years + and was super-embarrassed about the state of my teeth. Now I have a complete upper denture, working on getting a permanent All-on-four upper and partial lowers. I don't know if it gets any easier, but if I can do it SO CAN YOU!
 
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AbbyH85

Member
Joined
Oct 25, 2012
Messages
56
If a dentist you walk into begins to lecture you and make you feel bad immediately walk out and find another. Most all dentists do not do that any more. They are there to get us on the right track, not make us feel bad.

Trust me, I'm 31. The total amount of molars I will have left in my mouth are two....the rest of my back teeth broke and rotted away. I didn't go for so long because of fear of being shamed. But then I had to of them abscess at the same time and I couldn't manage to hardly eat, my face swelled up...it was not a good time.

I went to the same dentist my hubby goes too and they were fantastic. Never once gave me a hard time about my state, just formed a treatment plan and we are moving forward with it. They always remind me how great I will feel once it's all over. I've got two out so far and an appointment to take out my bottom wisdom teeth on the 19th (one of which there is nothing left of at ALL) And I am very nervous still but excited to have all this rot out of my mouth.

Trust me you will be just fine, find the right dentist and the rest will be a breeze.
 
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littlething

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 28, 2015
Messages
126
Location
California
Hi! Everyone is right in saying that a good dentist won't lecture or scold you. I finally started going last year after a 20 year absence. I spent years being ashamed of my teeth and was terrified of being judged. But when I finally showed up, with a mouthful of cavities (including 3 that were broken down to the gumline, and clearly could not be saved), my dentist just said that he wasn't there to judge, that all he wanted to do was help me, and that he was confident that he could get me back into a state of dental health. Every dental professional I've encountered in the last year (general dentist, orthodontist, oral surgeon, hygienists, assistants etc) has never judged me or made me feel bad about the condition of my teeth, and just genuinely wanted to get my mouth healthy again.

You have taken a huge step in deciding to confront the fear head-on, and you should feel proud of yourself. It took me years to get to that point! The best advice I have for you is that finding the right dentist makes all the difference.

I was like you in that I had horrible oral hygiene habits when I was younger. But what matters is that you are trying to turn things around now. And it's never too late! In the last year since I started getting my mouth in order again, I've been brushing and flossing religiously. Today, I went for a cleaning and check-up, and both my dentist and hygienist told me they were impressed with my hygiene. Fancy that, me - a girl who barely brushed and NEVER flossed - getting complimented on her oral hygiene...but it made me feel GOOD.

Anyways, if I can do it, you can do it! Good luck :)
 
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Springfairy556

Junior member
Joined
Aug 4, 2016
Messages
7
Thanks everyone! As soon as I get my insurance card, I'm making an appointment.Thanks for all the advice.But what can they do about the teeth that are completely gone? I don't know if dentures are an option for me cause I don't want people seeing me take dentures in and out and like its not all on one side, 3 on the left and one on the right.

One on the bottom I lost due to an injury.
 
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bigg9058

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 30, 2012
Messages
111
Thanks everyone! As soon as I get my insurance card, I'm making an appointment.Thanks for all the advice.But what can they do about the teeth that are completely gone? I don't know if dentures are an option for me cause I don't want people seeing me take dentures in and out and like its not all on one side, 3 on the left and one on the right.

One on the bottom I lost due to an injury.

If you are only missing a handful of teeth like that then they can do bridges or partial implants.

If you do go the denture route, trust me no one will see you take them in and out unless you want them to. I've had dentures now for over two months (that should make me an old-pro, right? :cool:) on the upper and they have yet to fall out. They've gotten loose a couple times, but if you are careful there is no reason they would just fall out. I was super-nervous before I got mine that they were going to fall out (like you see in the movies) but its not like that at all.
 
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Spike 1969

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 16, 2014
Messages
675
Location
Derbyshire UK
Hi there and welcome to the forum.

The above posters are correct that there could be a number of options for replacing missing teeth, depending on suitability there are dentures, implants, bridges or a combination of all 3, it's something to discuss with the dentist when you go as its very much a team effort.

The most important thing for me was to find the right dentist and I can tell you a good dentist will not be judgmental or lecture his/her customers if he/she wants to stay in business, most dentists totally get that people are fearful and will do all they can to make the whole experience more bearable, just remember that you are the customer and if they don't treat you right it's your right to get up and walk out of there.

You will be pleasantly surprised to see that dentistry has come on in leaps and bounds in the past 10 years in terms of technology and materials etc.

I also find it helpful to view any dental work I have as a cosmetic procedure, it's always nice to have a look at the finished job afterwards, I never cease to be impressed with my own dentists amazing work aesthetically.

Good Luck with your journey, I'm sure you will be better than fine.
 
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TheGeek

Member
Joined
Aug 6, 2016
Messages
96
Hey,

I too am in the same boat as you. My teeth grew in odd shapes. I basically have crooked teeth. I tried my best to look after them, but consumed far too much sweet things and consumed too much alcohol that over the years they started to go bad.

I refused to see a dentist. I haven't been for treatment in 10 years. I have 2 holes where wisdom teeth have rotted away and another tooth that's developed a hole that I can feel with my tounge. My breath smells bad. I fear infections (already had one).

I have 4 teeth to my knowledge that need sorting. 2 definitely need to come out. And both are wisdom.

I have an appointment for tomorrow. I am scared a little. Thanks to the help on this forum I'm at ease a bit. Tomorrow will be bad for me but you know what ... I have no choice now. There gets a point in everyones life where something has to be done. And sadly, our fear stops us until we're living in constant pain.

Look on the bright side, all those issues you have now will be sorted. And although you may lose some teeth the benefits of a healthy mouth will take a huge weight off your shoulders. As much as I'm scared, I'm excited too in a way.

I'm 32. I grind my teeth heavily during sleep which is one of the main reasons my teeth are being worn away.

I was due to have an extraction 3 years ago. I still have that tooth in my mouth, except it's rotten.

I'll update you on my progress tomorrow after my treatment.

Pick up the phone and make the appointment. You can do this, honestly :)

All the best
 
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Nicolee891

Junior member
Joined
Jan 7, 2016
Messages
8
I am in the same boat as you. Almost 24, I have 7 teeth that are broken to the point they will not be able to be fixed all but one are on the top. My teeth are bad. I want to go get them fixed but I have so many fears. I haven't been to the dds since I was younger.

My top fears are
-being told whats wrong and what they will have to do.
-the cost.
-being put under because I have never been before.
-the pain during and after.
-having no teeth left.

If you want to, message me and we could talk more. It would be nice to be able to talk to someone who is in the same boat.
 
carole

carole

Well-known member
Forum Buddy
Joined
Jan 5, 2012
Messages
7,538
Location
UK
Hi they do need to tell you what treatment you need because you have to agree and give your consent to receive any work by them.

The cost is a worry for many people but dentists will often work out a payment plan, or take things at a pace that you can cope with and as you can afford it. I don't know where in the world you are but there is always some way of getting dental work done.

You don't have to be put under if you don't want to be. It is your choice all treatments can be done with local or sedation.

Treatment should and is be pain free whilst it is being done, if you feel anything they can top up the numbing stuff. Any pain after if there is any will ease after a few days and pain meds will help you cope with it. A lot of people don't get any pain after treatments.

Until a dentist says that you are going to loose all your teeth don't worry about that. They can do a lot to save the teeth we have these days, even somtime's if they are only the roots left. If the worst came to the worst then dentures or implants are an option. So you would have teeth that you could eat and function with.

I hope this helps a bit :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::butterfly:
 
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