• Dental Phobia Support

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Immense Fears,procrastination,massive health risks



Junior member
Dec 18, 2023
So, this post will probably be very unorganized as I have a lot I want to say.

I'm 24, haven't been to the dentist since I was a kid. My main excuse is always the pain; from numbing shots, laughing gas, etc, nothing ever worked. It was always a miserable experience, and I believe that's what has caused my fear of dental work.

But, for many reasons that aren't truly important, essentially my entire mouth is rotted. Almost if not all of my top teeth are rotted and broken, and almost if not all of my bottoms.
I've had infections for months, yes, plural. Atleast I presume so, as the swelling/pus has appeared front, left, right, bottom, top, inner and outer parts of my gums. Everything from massive pus filled jaw/cheeks, to smaller boil-like infections on the front of my gums.

I've had infection spreading up into my eye, my ear, neck, etc. & ive went to the ER many times for antibiotics mainly due to the immense pain, but they never look beyond a quick "ah" into my mouth, and pressing against my jW with their fingers.

At this point, I'm worried the infection is going to kill me. Its been a half of a year at least since the first swollen jaw/pus filled boils began, and this time after an entire bottle of antibiotics, not only did it get worse but its now two sides of my jaws/cheeks at once. The pain is neverending, I can't sleep, eat, think, and its hindering my ability to be a good parent.(thank the Lord for my fiance.)

I need to have my mouth fixed. Even though it will definitely end with me having no teeth at all, I know if I don't soon, either I won't be here long, or my face won't last much longer.

Apart from my immense, weakening fear, I also simply can't afford any procedures. I don't have insurance, and I actually lost my job when this all got really bad again a couple of months ago. I have no money, and no support system to help me.

I consider going to smiles for miles Everytime, but I sike myself out and don't call. Mainly stemming from the fear of pain, as its free dental work, and I don't think they'll care to be easy on me or give a crap if I'm not numb or hurting.

Any advice? Any resources? Similar experiences? I'm not really sure what it is I'm looking for on these forums, but I know I want my daughter to have me around, so if these forums could possibly help me to make that happen in some way, I'd be forever grateful.
It's unfortunate that you didn't have any responses to your post yet. I wish I had some answer for you, but all I can do is say that I hear you, and I am sorry that you are in such a tough situation.

At some point, you will just have to do what you have to do, and make the call for free dental work. Going on like you are just can't work, and things will just get worse. At some point you just have to face the fear and the pain and deal with it. Given your situation, I would be more fearful of living like you do right now than I would be about having the procedures you need to have done. Even a painful, difficult dental procedure, is relatively quick compared to living day in and day out in constant pain and worry.

Pain and suffering and dental procedures are just a part of the human experience. We can either be the adult and get over our emotions do what we have to do, or we can run away like a scared child and eventually face a much worse fate.

If I sound like I'm lecturing you here, know that I'm actually lecturing myself just as much when I tell you these things. I obviously struggle with the same fears as you or I wouldn't be on this forum. I actually have an appointment in a couple of hours to check out some new dental pain and yes I'm very nervous about it - about facing a difficult diagnosis and being told I require major work on my teeth. For some reason I find myself more fearful of such things then I did when I was younger.

Anyhow, I hope my words can help both of us face our fears. All the best to you.
@AkiraRae I can't add anything to @oneby's excellent post, especially this part:

Even a painful, difficult dental procedure, is relatively quick compared to living day in and day out in constant pain and worry.

Of course, dentistry in this day and age should not be painful, so having a prearranged signal to let your dentist know if you need more local anaesthetic is really important.

I had a quick Google for Miles for Smiles, and they seem to get excellent reviews, so that's a real bonus 🙂 . Wishing you a very happy 2024 🤗