• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is very afraid of dentistry or who suffers with dental phobia. Please note that this is NOT a dental problems forum! You can find a list of them here.

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In grave danger and can’t get help

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Danni13

Junior member
Joined
Oct 7, 2022
Messages
5
Location
Ohio
I have had bad teeth my entire life. Treated with liquid tetracycline at birth then again at a year old. As a child they were discolored and had most of them pulled by age 7. At age 8 I lost my parents and became orphaned. I was never taken to a dentist again. When I was 21 I was able to get my wisdom teeth removed but not before the entire staff took turns looking in my mouth and asking me if I had ever brushed my teeth! I left crying and embarrassed. I’m 53 now and most of my teeth are broken or missing. I have a front tooth growing through my lip and the pain is unbearable. I suffer from infections often and from years of antibiotics I now have ulcerative colitis. Three months ago I tried to get dentures and after six shots in the mouth they sent me home because I had tears from the pain of the shots. I didn’t care about the pain and the tears were a natural reaction, but they told me I needed to reschedule! I begged them to please finish as I had come an hour and a half away and I was lucky to have found a ride in the first place. I told them I have waited 53 years to smile. I found myself in disbelief that I was being asked to leave after receiving six shots my entire mouth was numb, and because tears fell from my eyes I was told to leave. As I am writing this it hurts to speak I can hardly eat I literally have a tooth coming through my face and now I’m terrified to go anywhere. I have considered ending my life but I love my kids and grandkids and what I would love even more would be the chance to smile at them. I want to know what it’s like to smile at someone and have them smile back at me. I have been a prisoner in my room I don’t go anywhere I can’t work because people look at me like i’m a monster. I have dental bonding across my broken front top teeth so they don’t fall out when I try to eat. This has ruined my life and I just want to be a part of the world.
 
NervousUSA

NervousUSA

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2022
Messages
167
Location
USA
@Danni13 This sounds like a really tough situation and very stressful. It seems like they should have let you have a minute to calm down or something rather than telling you you needed to reschedule. I was out of dentistry for approximately 19 years and was able to get back into it and get the help I needed by finding a dentist who said on her website that she was happy to treat people who hadn't been to a dentist in a long time. When I went in she treated me well. Maybe it would work for you to find a dentist that you knew in advance would be able to help? I have found tons of good tips on this website since I first got on here. There are a few pages on this site about finding a dentist that can actually help you if you have fear or issues at the dentist. Here is the part of the site about finding a dentist https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/help/find-a-dentist/
And here are dentist reviews for Ohio maybe there is someone good near you
 
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Danni13

Junior member
Joined
Oct 7, 2022
Messages
5
Location
Ohio
@NervousUSA thank you for your reply, the main problem is I need an oral surgeon and cannot find one that will take my insurance and if I do find one then they won’t put me under. I’m ok with being awake I actually prefer it. My recent experience was like the twilight zone! I was not freaking out or even scared I was so excited to finally getting these teeth pulled (I’ve almost died three times had to be admitted) on the last shot they gave me she stuck the needle in an ulcer I had in my mouth and it made tears roll down my face, I didn’t scream or anything I could not understand why I had to leave.
 
NervousUSA

NervousUSA

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2022
Messages
167
Location
USA
I wonder if it might work to call your insurer and ask them to help you find one? They often will do that. Another possible idea, since open enrollment is coming and we can switch insurance in November, maybe you could find a suitable oral surgeon, find out insurance they will take, and then switch in November to the one they will take?

I would definitely not return to a dentist that was intolerant of me doing something like having tears in my eyes, I would personally switch to another dentist. I have gotten pretty upset a few times at my dentist office, and they haven't asked me to leave.
 
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Danni13

Junior member
Joined
Oct 7, 2022
Messages
5
Location
Ohio
Definitely going to switch insurance carriers. I could not believe they only had one oral surgeon and they decided to not put me under anyway! This is such a stressful and painful thing I deal with every single day. I pray and pray for guidance, I really need relief I can’t even eat anymore I’m living on protein shakes and I can’t speak because to move my mouth with this tooth coming the my face is unbearable! I gave birth three times naturally and it was nothing compared to this. I literally have no life.
 
NervousUSA

NervousUSA

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2022
Messages
167
Location
USA
Wow, just one option! That is not good. Hopefully you can find a better insurer with better options and you can get some help and relief soon!
 
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CarolinaAnne

Junior member
Joined
Oct 17, 2022
Messages
14
Location
North Carolina USA
Wow, they ejected you due to tears? Eyes water involuntarily! That's cruel. You did a great job in getting yourself together and going in despite your fears. I hope you can get your insurance sorted and find someone better. You are to be commended for your bravery.
 
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Danni13

Junior member
Joined
Oct 7, 2022
Messages
5
Location
Ohio
Thank you for your kind words. All I want in this life is to smile. It’s taken my life away and I’m so afraid it’s not going to happen. It took me so long to get the courage to go and now I’m so afraid to try again. I have never been treated nicely at any dental office. I will never be able to put into words the fear and hopelessness I have. 53 single and stay locked in my home.
 

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borderer

Junior member
Joined
Feb 23, 2018
Messages
8
Location
Wales/England border
Hi Dannil,

So sorry to read of your trials. I can't help but offer a little understanding. I'm in the UK and didn't see a dentist from 16 to 56 due to the childhood trauma inflicted by dentists who couldn't care less. If only they realised it really does ruin your life and your relationships. I understand how isolating and deperate you feel - that got-to-do-something / just can't-do-it feeling that freezes you up and the embarrassment that makes you hide away.

Things eventually got to the point where I simply HAD to see a dentist no matter how I felt. Terrifying! Fortunately, with a little looking round, I found a guy who was very understanding, happy to just talk through things and built up my confidence to the point where he was able to assess the damage and take me through treatment. A lot of dentists are just technicians and don't have the personality or the compassion to deal with people who are suffering like you. Look around and find someone who advertises the fact that they deal with these problems. Ask to speak to the dentist, not reception, or get them to call you back. Explain your situation and what you have experienced in the past and IF they sound sympathetic then that's the one to go for, even if you need to travel a bit. Good luck on getting better! There's a new life on the other side of it and once it's done it makes your current anguish fade away.
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CarolinaAnne

Junior member
Joined
Oct 17, 2022
Messages
14
Location
North Carolina USA
@Danni13 I'm sorry things are so crummy right now. (Understatement of the year.) I am holding hope for you. Hope that you can get your insurance sorted out, and with your new insurance, you can work to find a dentist who understands dental phobias and anxiety. Borderer has some good ideas on how to find what you need. The task can be done. ❤️
 
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Danni13

Junior member
Joined
Oct 7, 2022
Messages
5
Location
Ohio
Thanks everyone
 
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