
The1701
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 19, 2015
- Messages
- 263
- Location
- Edinburgh
So I've now had deep clean part 2 and it went ok or at least I think it did, I've come away with mixed feelings this time which disappoints me after the euphoria of getting through part 1.
I've had all of the bottom set done and part of the top. The dentist agreed to leave one area till later as I said I would be more nervous of that area getting treatment due to what happened in the past I'm pleased I was able to say something to him and that he was ok with what I said, I'm hoping this is a sign of trust developing as I now feel like I would let him treat the remaining area after this last appointment. All the same my legs felt like jelly when I walked to the treatment room and I could barely manage to make small talk with him about the weather as my brain was racing away with other things and this disappointed me as I'm not where I want to be yet. Again there was no pain but the chair was further back this time and I was more aware of someone leaning over me which was difficult but didn't trigger any flashbacks and I again got plenty breathers but this time I had to sit up fully for the breather breaks as I felt I was getting too anxious and I've woken up this morning to find bruises all over my forearm where I had been digging my fingernails in to try to keep me in the "here and now" which makes me feel disappointed. I also felt really tearful and absolutely exhausted when I arrived home which is so weird as last time I was on top of the world and feeling invincible although I feel better this morning, particularly when I finally got around to having a good look at my teeth and oh boy what a difference, they are far from being pearly white but they don't have any black bits on them and look generally healthier and this is really good, I feel like I won't have to laugh with my hand in front of my face anymore. I also feel like I want to do something about the chipped tooth which is good as before I felt I had to do something due to the promise I made my Grandad but now I actually want to say "fix this please" because I want to do it not because I said I would and I think this is progress but it's so hard to tell as I feel it's all a jumble of good and bad right now.
I've had all of the bottom set done and part of the top. The dentist agreed to leave one area till later as I said I would be more nervous of that area getting treatment due to what happened in the past I'm pleased I was able to say something to him and that he was ok with what I said, I'm hoping this is a sign of trust developing as I now feel like I would let him treat the remaining area after this last appointment. All the same my legs felt like jelly when I walked to the treatment room and I could barely manage to make small talk with him about the weather as my brain was racing away with other things and this disappointed me as I'm not where I want to be yet. Again there was no pain but the chair was further back this time and I was more aware of someone leaning over me which was difficult but didn't trigger any flashbacks and I again got plenty breathers but this time I had to sit up fully for the breather breaks as I felt I was getting too anxious and I've woken up this morning to find bruises all over my forearm where I had been digging my fingernails in to try to keep me in the "here and now" which makes me feel disappointed. I also felt really tearful and absolutely exhausted when I arrived home which is so weird as last time I was on top of the world and feeling invincible although I feel better this morning, particularly when I finally got around to having a good look at my teeth and oh boy what a difference, they are far from being pearly white but they don't have any black bits on them and look generally healthier and this is really good, I feel like I won't have to laugh with my hand in front of my face anymore. I also feel like I want to do something about the chipped tooth which is good as before I felt I had to do something due to the promise I made my Grandad but now I actually want to say "fix this please" because I want to do it not because I said I would and I think this is progress but it's so hard to tell as I feel it's all a jumble of good and bad right now.