• Dental Phobia Support

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It’s been 20 years.



Junior member
Dec 10, 2023
I’m sorry for how long this ended up…and that it’s a bit all over the place.

I haven’t been to a dentist in 20 years. I’m 38 now. Last Monday, I finally worked up the courage to schedule an appointment (last Wednesday) for a consultation for full extractions and dentures.

A bit of backstory…As a teen, I went for cleanings every 6 months. Never had any cavities. Around 15, I still had a left baby canine that never became loose. My mother finally had the dentist pull it. My step-dad hated that he had to pay for it because I “should have been wiggling it!” The dentist said it never would have became loose because of the way the adult tooth grew in way behind it. (My step-dad would always make comments about how he’s never had a cavity and never needed braces. My mother and brother have perfectly straight teeth. I guess I took after our dad.)

I was then referred to an orthodontist for braces. My parents wanted just a few brackets to try to move the tooth forward. Ortho said I need full braces. We left and they said “Nope. Not doing it.” They could afford it, they just didn’t want to pay for it. That really hurt. So did constantly biting my tongue with the canine.

Fast forward a few years, I’ve graduated and met my current husband. We got married and started our family. Three kids from 2006 to 2010. I nursed for 6 years straight. I’m all about my kids. They come first. Which meant, I came last. We agreed that we will make sure our kids get braces if they need them. Seems all 3 probably will. Our oldest son just got Invisalign this past week.

I’ve never been great at remembering to brush/floss. As a stay-at-home-mom, many nights I was exhausted and passed out after getting the kids to bed. Now, I can’t look in the mirror without seeing and remembering and feeling like they didn’t care that my smile wasn’t perfect like theirs. And I feel that played a part in me just not caring at some point as well.

I honestly feel like getting braces for our kids and me wanting to finally do something about mine…I feel like it will help to heal a part of me in a way, if that makes sense.

When I went for the consultation last Wednesday, I explained why I want them. There were tears shed, but the dentist was so sweet and understanding. She asked if I wanted some time to think it over and maybe see about doing a deep cleaning and then determine what needed to be done from there. I told her I honestly didn’t want that and that I’ve had my mind made up for a long time. I just finally got the courage to make an appointment. She understood and said we could do it.

Then came the bad news, looking at the X-ray, my back molars are very close to my sinuses and I have tori on top and bottom that need to be removed. So, she gave me a referral to my local Oral & Facial Surgery Center. I have a consult with them on Tuesday. I am just scared that he will say he won’t do the extractions because he thinks they could be saved. I don’t want to spend so much money on fillings and root canals and crowns on teeth that I hate. Not to mention, there’s some bone loss. I probably wouldn’t be able to do braces anyway. (From a distance, it just looks like I have bucked front teeth. The canine looks like it’s missing. Also there’s lots of space.)

I just want to be able to smile and laugh in front of people before I’m 40. I want to take pictures with my kids and have a genuine smile. My husband is behind me 100%. I’m just scared what the ortho will say on Tuesday.
What did you decide to do?