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! you must be incredibly proud of yourself! i hope i can come through it as you have! 
Part Six - A new beginning
I didn't look too far for a private dentist, the practice the therapist was in has two. I got an appointment that afternoon with one of them.
Strangely I wasn't overly scared of this appointment, I was going to be in control of the situation. Talking was the only thing on the agenda, but I had the option of taking it further if I wanted to.
Meeting the dentist was a much better experience this time. I was able to explain a lot of what I was scared of and she listened to me. At times I had to stop and calm down as I found it hard to talk to someone new about this again.
She was so good and patient with me that I felt that maybe I could trust her. I wanted to move on with the process so I asked if I could show her my teeth in a mirror, just as I had practiced in therapy. This went well, I felt even more in control than when I did this with my therapist. The dentist said that she could see I needed some work, (a mild understatement, my mind screamed), but that it was OK she could help me if I wanted her to. Revelation! She asked me for my permission to treat me.
The session ended with me lying in the chair, allowing the dentist to look in my mouth and I didn't panic. It took me a while to relax enough to open my mouth, but she waited for me to be ready, no rushing, ordering or a lecture. She only used a mirror inside my mouth and didn't touch my teeth at all.
She finished up by asking if I wanted to come back to have an x-ray and take another look at my teeth, this time recording the condition of them with her assistant, she promised that she would only use a mirror again. I agreed and made an appointment for the next week. Yes, I made the appointment myself.
I was feeling really good all week, a bit apprehensive over what the x-ray was going to reveal and the treatment I was going to need, but I was finally going to get an examination.
The second appointment went well. I started by telling the dentist how much she had helped me the week before by allowing me to just talk to her, without judgement or pressure. I don't know if this was necessary from her point of view but I wanted to get over to her that she was helping me so much.
The x-ray was fine, first time I've had one that came on a screen immediately, heck the last time I went to a dentist there were no personal computers! Then I was examined in the chair again this time she was telling the assistant what was in my mouth. One thing that I was pleased with was when she went over the front teeth she said they were all OK.
Examination finished she gave me the verdict, overall given the lack of care I was in pretty good shape. I didn't need them all to come out. In fact all my teeth could be saved with the exception of the root from the crown, but as that had not caused me problems then there was no need to touch it. She said the broken took at the back on the left could come out in the future but wasn't urgent, she could rebuild it for now.
I had been extremely lucky, the fact that I stopped doing any cleaning to my teeth allowed the natural defences of my mouth to calcify over the softer parts of my teeth when they were broken. If I was brushing, then I would have removed the hardened plaque as fast as it was built up. I don't reccomend this as a method of keeping your teeth though.
She suggested that the first stage of treatment was to get my mouth stable again, to prevent infection getting into my teeth. I'm going to have some temporary filler put on top of all the broken teeth to seal them, including the big hole at the top. Once that is done then we can work on a plan of action to rebuild the teeth back up.
The sense of relief I have from knowing there is a way forward is immense. I am feeling happy that this dentist will work with me to get me through the treatment. She has given me a signal to stop if I'm uncomfortable at any time and I believe she will stop if I want her to, so far though I have not needed it.
I've now got another appointment for tomorrow to get some covering on the exposed teeth, I'm actually looking forward to getting some treatment done, I feel I'm finally taking control of my own teeth at last. It’s not going to be a quick fix though but I've started and I'm not going to stop until it’s done.
PS. I'm still cleaning my teeth twice a day!
I also did enjoy very much reading the stories here. I was looking for the way to help my friend to overcome her fear. As I figured out just recently she even being pretty brave girl just sink into a faint. She always avoid visiting a doctor but a couple of days ago the situation really required that. So I was surfing the Internet looking for the way to help her. She got the link of this forum page from me. As well as we read through a lot of dentist reviews and complaints looking for the best specialist to help her. 
