141
Junior member
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2024
- Messages
- 8
- Location
- USA
I guess I'll document my attempt to overcome my fears.
The pain in two of my front teeth started Wednesday. Gone Thursday morning, coming and going ever since. Had a panic attack in class Thursday evening (learning remotely, thankfully) when it intensified to an extent that I knew I couldn't just ignore. I spent the rest of the class period reading through DFC, trying to convince myself to bite the bullet and schedule an appointment. Worked up the courage to try today, and... as luck would have it, my dentist is only in Monday - Thursday so I got the answering machine.
I'm honestly not convinced I won't chicken out over the weekend before I ever get a chance to call.
I feel that I'm likely to lose my front teeth, if not now then eventually. For context, they're all crowns. When I was a kid I broke the very front two on some concrete. Had crowns put on. Had my first abscess (in one of the adjacent teeth) at 16, but my parents were always quite dismissive of my health concerns. It took a lot of convincing (begging) to get them to take me to the dentist once, then after the antibiotics they never took me back for the root canal my dentist planned on doing. I think the association with my parents is another contributing factor in my dental anxiety. There was another time when my mom picked me up from school and drove me to the dentist, screaming at me the whole way. Dentistry and trauma go hand in hand to my C-PTSD brain.
But I digress, badly. Eventually, years later, I went back for the root canal and it was fine. At some point between then and now I had another dentist give me two root canals whose numbing shots were, by far, some of the most painful experiences of my life. I'm not afraid of needles, generally. Growing up I was terrified of shots, but was never afraid of them at the dentist because I barely even felt that dentist's shots, to the point that I didn't realize they could hurt, including during that first root canal. Dentist #2's shots were agonizing, though, and for some reason (I don't remember), these two root canals took three appointments. Terrified before each and every one, visibly in pain so badly that it made my body kinda flail involuntarily during the shots and she never acknowledged it. Maybe that's SOP, I don't know. I just know it dimmed my view of dentists and I avoided going for years after that, until eventually I had a cavity so bad I gave in and went to a new dentist, my current one. Horrible anxiety, but the shot didn't hurt there, and my appointments with her have been fine ever since.
So anyway, I eventually had to get root canals on all four front teeth and that's why they're all crowns. Also had to get one on the right canine but they didn't put a crown on, just left a post(?) in it or something like that. I'm not completely clear on the details, we were doing CareCredit and they only approved enough credit for four crowns iirc. Eventually the abscess in it came back with a vengeance and I was given an unsuccessful apicoectomy. Just kinda living with it ever since, out of pain at least.
I probably should get it extracted already but that is my biggest fear in the world. I've heard really bad things about the numbing process for an extraction.
For a long time, I was also afraid for vanity reasons as I struggle with my self esteem really badly already so the idea of a visible missing tooth put the fear of God into me. Crowns also don't last forever, of course, and I won't be able to afford them in the future so eventually I'll have no front teeth to speak of, especially since I'm bulimic :'). It's been a major source of anxiety and reason I skipped my latest cleaning, afraid to be told they wanted to take my teeth.
I'm not so afraid for my appearance anymore, for whatever reason. I'm turning 30 in 9 days so maybe I've stopped caring as much in my advanced age. However I'm still terrified of extractions. It's so irrational that I've even thought about intentionally trying to make all my teeth worse so I could have a full clearance under anesthesia rather than a simple extraction. It's absolutely unhinged.
All this to say, this is what I'm contending with & trying to overcome in order to call and make that appointment on Monday. Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it.
The pain in two of my front teeth started Wednesday. Gone Thursday morning, coming and going ever since. Had a panic attack in class Thursday evening (learning remotely, thankfully) when it intensified to an extent that I knew I couldn't just ignore. I spent the rest of the class period reading through DFC, trying to convince myself to bite the bullet and schedule an appointment. Worked up the courage to try today, and... as luck would have it, my dentist is only in Monday - Thursday so I got the answering machine.
I'm honestly not convinced I won't chicken out over the weekend before I ever get a chance to call. I feel that I'm likely to lose my front teeth, if not now then eventually. For context, they're all crowns. When I was a kid I broke the very front two on some concrete. Had crowns put on. Had my first abscess (in one of the adjacent teeth) at 16, but my parents were always quite dismissive of my health concerns. It took a lot of convincing (begging) to get them to take me to the dentist once, then after the antibiotics they never took me back for the root canal my dentist planned on doing. I think the association with my parents is another contributing factor in my dental anxiety. There was another time when my mom picked me up from school and drove me to the dentist, screaming at me the whole way. Dentistry and trauma go hand in hand to my C-PTSD brain.
But I digress, badly. Eventually, years later, I went back for the root canal and it was fine. At some point between then and now I had another dentist give me two root canals whose numbing shots were, by far, some of the most painful experiences of my life. I'm not afraid of needles, generally. Growing up I was terrified of shots, but was never afraid of them at the dentist because I barely even felt that dentist's shots, to the point that I didn't realize they could hurt, including during that first root canal. Dentist #2's shots were agonizing, though, and for some reason (I don't remember), these two root canals took three appointments. Terrified before each and every one, visibly in pain so badly that it made my body kinda flail involuntarily during the shots and she never acknowledged it. Maybe that's SOP, I don't know. I just know it dimmed my view of dentists and I avoided going for years after that, until eventually I had a cavity so bad I gave in and went to a new dentist, my current one. Horrible anxiety, but the shot didn't hurt there, and my appointments with her have been fine ever since.
So anyway, I eventually had to get root canals on all four front teeth and that's why they're all crowns. Also had to get one on the right canine but they didn't put a crown on, just left a post(?) in it or something like that. I'm not completely clear on the details, we were doing CareCredit and they only approved enough credit for four crowns iirc. Eventually the abscess in it came back with a vengeance and I was given an unsuccessful apicoectomy. Just kinda living with it ever since, out of pain at least.
I probably should get it extracted already but that is my biggest fear in the world. I've heard really bad things about the numbing process for an extraction.
For a long time, I was also afraid for vanity reasons as I struggle with my self esteem really badly already so the idea of a visible missing tooth put the fear of God into me. Crowns also don't last forever, of course, and I won't be able to afford them in the future so eventually I'll have no front teeth to speak of, especially since I'm bulimic :'). It's been a major source of anxiety and reason I skipped my latest cleaning, afraid to be told they wanted to take my teeth.
I'm not so afraid for my appearance anymore, for whatever reason. I'm turning 30 in 9 days so maybe I've stopped caring as much in my advanced age. However I'm still terrified of extractions. It's so irrational that I've even thought about intentionally trying to make all my teeth worse so I could have a full clearance under anesthesia rather than a simple extraction. It's absolutely unhinged.
All this to say, this is what I'm contending with & trying to overcome in order to call and make that appointment on Monday. Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it.