• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.

Just come back from the dentist and I am in bits and VERY ANGRY

B

Bertie

Member
Joined
Sep 4, 2008
Messages
27
Hi all

Just got back from the dentist where I was supposed to have the last 4 bottom teeth removed and an immediate denture ftted today at 4pm. I kept the appointment, and at 4.05 the dentist took me into the treatment room and said she had some bad news for me and that was the technician had problems making the the lower denture owing to the poor bite I have. The dentist has known this for a week but said she wouldn't let me know before hand to upset me! Upset me - I am in bits! She has now taken yet another lot of impressions and has booked me in at 6.20 next Thursday and will let me know if this has to be cancelled beforehand! Whilst I agree that I do have a problem with my top teeth and bite, I am used to it for many years and told her this. Also she pointed this out to me when she took the first lost of impressions, so why was she not more thorough?I am not expecting wonders from the lower denture anyway. My husband is on his way back home as I had to go alone for the appointment. As I work as a receptionist, temporary cover has already been arranged for me tomorrow and Monday, so this is going to cause trouble at work. And what with the stress I am under at work, this is about the last straw. I just feel like running away. My husband is paying her a small fortune for this "treatment" - n o wonder she is currently in the throes of having her whole surgery redecorated and remodernised.
This is now the second time this appointment has been cancelled and by the looks of it, this might yet happen again. I feel like asking her for my records and finding somewhere else. Such a disappointment. She ended by squeezing my forearm and saying "never mind, you are now getting used to the dentist"

Bertie

PS I have just spoke to my boss and told her the current situation, and she says if I feel up to it I can come in tomorrow, otherwise she will see me on Monday. I am so tearful I guess it is the fact that I have been doing my best to cope with this situation for the past 3 weeks and to date, have not cracked. Not bad considering I had not even been to the dentist for around 50 years until 3 weeks ago. I was so hoping to have this all sorted before I went back to work then after my leave. It just seems to drag on and on. Surely there must be a better way?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
That's disgraceful Bertie and you should be able to charge them with wasting YOUR time. When will dentist realise that its hard enough for people to come to their surgeries without them messing us about when we get there?

I hope this gets sorted out, but its completely unfair that they haven't taken your feelings into account. Shame on them.
 
I'm sorry to hear about that Bertie, I'm sure you were very frustrated and probably still are. While it's good that they want to have the bite accurate, there is no excuse for not giving you plenty of advance notice that things are going to take longer. It sounds as though it was a case of extremely poor judgement, by not wanting to upset you by telling you she instead upset you by having you come in and not performing the work you expected. While nothing can fix what happened and the emotions you went though, I hope you are in a better place today.

If you do plan on following through with your treatment with her, pehaps a phone call is in order on Monday or Tuesday of next week to verify that everything will go as scheduled on Thursday. It shouldn't be necessary but at least if you find out there is another delay you can make an informed decision about making a change.

I hope everything works out and you are soon finished with this and smiling again! :)
 
Thanks all for your comments. Whilst this dentist is very friendly and approachable and deals with nervous patients, while she knew from the outset I am phobic, clearly she really does not understand what that really means.

Thinking back, it seems clear to me now, from what she did yesterday when taking the new impression, she did not do the first one properly, and that is why she did not phone me earlier because she would have to admit that. Yesterday she did far more measuring, computer stuff, different things put into the mouth etc. The first time, it was just stuff in the plasticine and that was that.

My husband was furious and when he spoke to her last night, she said I appeared fine when I left - which I did - (I am certainly not going to break down in front of her) and this made it appear bad for me and made h im angrier. He has become more sympathetic now. He is very angry that he has signed up to her dental plan costing £800 when nothing really has been done in 3 weeks.

My husband said he wants her to phone me/him on Wednesday evening, as to whether the treatment will be carried out on Thursday evening, so as to avoid another similar situation where I on tenterhooks all day wondering will I or wont I be going to avoid yet another will I or wont I be going situation. When things are messed up, this causes untold problems for me at work. I have told her this several times but she doesnt seem to understand or bother to remember.

Regards

Bertie

PS I would be interested to know the views of any dentists reading this
 
Last edited:
The dentists don't read this section usually.
You are probably right that while she can help phobics she doesn't quite 'get it' ..few people do...my only fear is pain....and until I found this website I had no idea there were so many other fears potentially involved, although they make sense when they are pointed out....many dentists are the same..even nice ones...they think the main fear is pain ..for slightly dentally anxious people (probably the majority of the population) that is probably true so dealing with pain by minimising it will go a long way to help but she clearly doesn't get that you suffer appt tension build up etc etc and there have been delays with your actual treatment....that is really just a customer service issue but for you it is better though, to make sure they are right rather than accept any old version.

Good luck.:grouphug:
 
for those of us that have and still do suffer with a dental fear this story is appaling, to those that do not understand it's just unfortunate - you have done a fantastic job so far, don't let her spoil it for you, you are the client, you are in control and you can tell her how you feel. unless she was being patronising when she offered her "ill advised" words of support, then she is at least aware a little of how you feel. If you feel up to it perhaps you could call and explain why you feel so let down, this may help your dentist to help you.

good luck and sorry to here you're feeling so upset.:)
 
"hank you both. After my "breakdown" on Thursday I thought I would go and have a word with a GP in the hope they might sanction a couple of weeks off work, so that I could get this over with; now that it is dragging out, people at work are wondering what is happening with me as it is so out of character. Anyway, I couldn't see my GP but saw another woman GP who basically said to me "get lost" - I am not signing you off work, you can sign yourself off work if you want anyway, but I don't advise it as you probably wont want to go back. With regard to the dental situation all she said was "well it looks as though she is going to do it now doesn't it?" It was quite obvious to an idiot the state I was in, so I started by telling her how things have built up with stress at work, now this etc. She was totally disinterested and clearly thought I was a malingerer just wanting to get out of work. This is totally untrue. Anyway, I came out of there thinking what on earth have I been paying my National Insurance contributions, so far, for 42 years for? The last time I visited a GP was in 2005!

However, I am glad to say things have moved on apace. I went home both
miserable, but then very angry. I decided "this can't go on. Pull yourself together - you are making yourself ill" . So I have pulled myself up. From going "no I dont want to eat out tonight" when my husband got home I told him we were going out so we went out and had a lovely meal. The chef at the restaurant told me me had just come back to work this week after having the most terrible throat operation, then on Tuesday my only sister in law goes in for a hysterectomy. And I thought "what on earth is the removal of 4 teeth in the scheme of things, compared to that".

Result I bought myself a new pair of shoes on Saturday - I have had no new shoes for about a year. Then I bought some hair colour and over the weekend I am going to sort out my wardrobe. I also noticed a magazine called "psychologies" and emblazoned on the cover was "Take Charge of Your Life" - so this is what I am doing. I decided no-one can/is going to help me, only me!

I was thinking of e-mailing the dentist saying why what happened, happened. But she will be phoning on Wednesday evening anyway to tell me whether my appointment will go ahead on Thursday (or not, as the case may be:rolleyes:

Regards

Bertie
 
Last edited:
I think the doctor you saw was really horrid. Is there a way to formally complain on the NHS for her dissmissing you so out of hand like that? I don't know cos I've only been to the doctor for really mundane things and its always been ok but surely there is a complaints procedure...maybe go talk to your other nicer GP...you can specifically ask for 1 person but it can take longer.

Well done as well on eating a bit more now. The meal you had sounds really nice! Bet you enjoyed it loads! i'm freaking out about my trip to the dentist and have really been struggling to eat. But when i cant i make sure i have a couple of glasses of full fat milk to give me some energy. Your meal out sounds lovely and I wish you all the best for your appointment. Let us all know how it went! I cant wait to see you posting on the sucess stories forum soon!
 
Back
Top