Just joined this forum

[Skipper]

Have been phobic for as long as I can remember. I did find a very good specialist fairly locally - I even had wisdom teeth out with him and it was not unpleasant in any way. But since then I've become worse, ironically, and my specialist was happy to refer to me to a sedation clinic for cleaning and checkups. All good.

However in September I got an ache that didn't go away for a couple of weeks, so booked in to the practice, and was seen after only a week or so. However my usual man was away and I saw someone else, who wasn't really sympathetic to my needs, gave me no real diagnosis, was very passive-aggressive and insisted I had to see a peridontist. The earliest available appointment was in late December. After 3 weeks of almost complete lack of sleep due to the trauma of this visit, I eventually cancelled the peridontist appointment. I'd been told nothing would "happen", I'd just be "talked to" (for an hour?!). Well there's no way I could have stayed in the building an hour anyway, and it still wouldn't have resolved my toothache. I asked the practice to refer me to the sedation clinic as they had done before. After over 3 weeks of waiting for them to get back to me (with repeated follow-up calls from my long-suffering wife) they now say it's "illegal" to refer me as the sedation clinic can't diagnose under sedation. Thankfully my ache (which had become agonising a couple of weeks ago) has now subsided, but there's clearly an issue and I can't go the rest of my life without seeing someone. (My "good" man has now permanently moved a long way away)

As you may have noticed, I can't even bring myself to use the "d......t" word, nor really even the "t....h" word. I don't have a fear of d......y, but a phobia. I'm not scared, I'm utterly repulsed. One of my worst experiences at my local practice was in the waiting room, where there was a photo of my "man" receiving an award at a conference. I was almost physically sick at the thought of a gathering of so many d.......ts in the same place. (BTW, I'm finding this site really hard to use because of the constant references on every page...!)

Anyway this post is really a first step and to say hello. Am going to contact the sedation clinic directly and ask that they can do a diagnosis under sedation then talk to me the next day about treatment options. Seems simple enough to me but my local practice seem to think it can't be done.

 

[Enarete]

Hi Skipper ,

wow, what a huge step to be here on the forum with us and sharing your story! I‘m sorry to read about your difficulties and I appreciate that even being here on the forum may be a huge challenge for you. We are super careful when it comes to providing a safe atmosphere and work extra hard to avoid any graphic material or things that may be triggering, but obviously naming the d-word can‘t be entirely avoided. It sounds like you would like to find ways to move forward though and that‘s a great thing. Give yourself a pat on the back for posting here!

Before jumping into any suggestions or conclusions, I was wondering whether you can pinpoint what may have caused your phobia to get worse after you were coping so well with your local specialist? It sounds like there was a turn from even having wisdom teeth out and being ok with that to visit sedation clinics for even check ups. What had happened? Also, even getting work under sedation is a challenging thing for the most people - how did you manage to get through that?

Looking forward reading your thoughts

 

[Skipper]

Hi Enarete. Yep, I'm just avoiding looking at certain parts of the screen! Hard to discuss this subject without certain words though.

I'd not been for even a checkup before my wisdoms became a problem, and I went on the recommendation of my wife. But after that I was encouraged (understandably) to come for regular checkups and cleans. First time was OK, but one hygienist after another became more and more harsh with cleaning, and just outright lied; "I won't use the scraper" then 2 minutes later there it was. So I think it was partly a trust issue. Things went quite a while; the daft receptionist sent a reminder letter with no date on it. That made it super-easy to put it in the pile "to do tomorrow" and after a few months I honestly had no idea how long it had been there. No follow-up email or call although they knew full well my reluctance to visit. Eventually went back to the consultant for a check, who essentially saw the state I was in and just said "I'll refer you to sedation clinic". I've been 2 or 3 times and all was fine; I have literally zero memory of anything between signing the consent form and "coming to" at home.

I think I find the both the concept and sensation of someone else's fingers in my mouth revolting, and of the texture of rubber gloves, of the sounds; just about everything. It extends beyond the surgery to everyday life; I can't comfortably look at my own teeth. I grew up next-door-but-one to a d....t surgery and remember coming home from school every day, going in the garden and hearing the sound of drills and children crying. Don't suppose that helped!

A problem I have now is that I know I could probably try various relaxation techniques or even hypnosis to reduce the anxiety, but at one level I don't want to be comfortable with people pulling my mouth about, putting their fingers in my mouth and poking my gums with metal spikes. Who does?

Though I'm much more comfortable now than a week ago, the ache's not entirely gone and I know it will return at some point. I can't just deny it so have to take some action. I'm going to try calling one of the practitioners recommended in your directory; a "fresh start" might help and the sedation clinic I've been to before has ratings that have slumped from 5/5 to 1/5 over the past 9 months

 

[Enarete]

Hi Skipper,

thank you for taking the time to explain how things evolved since you had your wisdoms out. Reading how you have been treated, it seems to me that there never really was any work on the fear as such. You specialist obviously managed to take care of your wisdoms and they did the job, but seeing how hygienists treated you, or even the fact that you had several different ones shows that there was no real effort to make a plan to deal with your fear. There was just a plan to deal with your mouth and that's where so many people struggle.

I am sorry to read about your childhood experience. It sounds absolutely horrifying and I can't imagine what it does to a child to regularly hearing other children screaming. If you had a bad past experience during an appointment on top of that, then it would be no surprise that you really just don't want to go!

While sedation often gets promoted as the go-to solution for nervous patients, the criticism on it is that it is also just another way to ignore the fear. It's great if you need something that you otherwise wouldn't be able to cope with or if you need something immediatelly, but it's not a good long term solution how you are now figuring out. There are lighter sedation forms that would allow you to stay relaxed but still be conscious. That's where the learning effect takes place and your fear has a chance to get better over time.

Many people find it helpful to find a specialist for this kind of fear and to get in touch beforehand to explain your fears. It is also important to take baby steps, for example to see the practicioner just for a chat first. And as you mentioned, trust is the biggest thing - you need to be able to rely 100% on what is said. It takes a while to learn that they will stop if you ask them to and that you do have control. Last bit is to work with only one person (plus maybe one hygienist) so that you get to know them over time and figure out what works and what doesn't. If the concept and the sensation of gloves in your mouth is scary, then a good dentist should be happy to find a way around that, at least in the initial stage. The higher your anxiety, the more time should be invested in finding ways to deal with it and the smaller the steps should be.

I see the ambivalence when you say you could try relaxation or techniques, but you actually do not want to. That makes perfect sense to me. Of course you don't want to! Besides that, with your level of fear and knowing how triggering even words are, I am not sure how helpful relaxation could be.

Were you able to call the place you found in the recommendations here?

All the best wishes

 

[Skipper]

Thank you. Yes, I realise depending on sedation isn't really a long-term solution, and that I need to come to terms with my phobia and find ways to address it rather than just work around it. My great experience with wisdom teeth does show me it's possible to be OK, and how much difference the right practitioner can make. I think even if I were just to insist on some gum-numbing gel prior to investigations might help, but that's down to my own confidence in explaining what I need.
As for the new place, my fears (and inherent procrastination!) have resulted in me failing to even make a call on three consecutive days. First, I found a page that suggested they were open till 7pm (despite their own website saying they closed at 5:30!) so I called them at 6:15, and of course they were closed. Next day I called at 5:15 and pressed "1" for new patients, and got a recorded message that no-one was available just then. Of course I didn't leave a message! Yesterday I called at 4:30 - though subsequently recalled that their site says they're closed Friday afternoons. So I've successfully put it off for 3 days and now it's the weekend. I'll email them this w/e and ask the best time to call; I can't have them call me back as I need to be mentally prepared, can't just take a call from them without warning
However I'm feeling more optimistic that sensitive practitioners are out there, I just need to find one I get on with and allow the trust to build. The other good news is that though it hasn't gone away completely, my toothache isn't bad at the minute so hopefully we can get this sorted before it becomes an emergency. I'll keep you posted!

 

[Enarete]

Hey Skipper,

I haven't been around for some time so haven't replied, but wondering how are you doing? What I found interesting in your post is that you seem to see the situation as failing to call them, but what I see is that you have tried as much as you could and then needed a break before trying again. Don't be too hard on yourself.
How are things going now?

 

[Skipper]

Went to the new place about 3 weeks ago. It's a 20 minute drive from home and I dillied and dallied about leaving so managed to get there late! (Only a few minutes, but it again illustrated how I'll make excuses). New guy is very understanding, very gentle with my mouth, and really non-judgemental. Chair is uncomfortable as ever though... He didn't identify any really scary issues (or at least didn't describe them in a scary way) and promised to contact me within a few days with a plan of action based on his exam and x-rays. I was away for the next 10 days and, whilst expecting an email, nothing arrived. Got back home and there was a letter for me, outlining just an initial thorough clean / descale under sedation. Being private the cost is high (though I can afford it). But as above, sedation for everything doesn't really seem to be a solution. I'm debating asking him to do it without sedation - maybe just some local anaesthetic. Of course if it's a really bad experience it could trigger everything off again (sleepless nights etc). So for now haven't got back to him; Christmas is coming and finding time for a 10-minute phone call seems impossible Oh dear what a shame... will just have to wait.
As an aside, he'd prescribed antibiotics and suggested a 3x daily hot salt water wash to deal with the original toothache which he thinks is an infected root. The antibiotics were fine as I had a bit of paper and then the physical tablets to remind me. It was only on day 7 that I remembered I was supposed to do the mouthwash, so successful was I at blotting out my memories of the visit! So ache improved but not resolved...