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Just sent my message asking for callback - nauseous

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MissM250

Junior member
Joined
Feb 25, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Victoria
Hey!

Where to start....

CW: Sexual Abuse
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I was touched inappropriately by an orthodontist over a 2 year period from 15-17, and once my braces came off, I've never gone back to a dentist.

It's been 23 years, I've lost 10 teeth to the gums, my fronts are barely hanging on.

I don't know HOW I'm going to get through this meeting (when I get it) but I have NO choice.

Please help, I'm just lost, crying, and so terrified I'm going to get made fun of and told I'm a horrible person :(
 
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Enarete

Enarete

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Messages
2,532
Hi MissM250 :welcome:,

I am terribly sorry and shocked to read what had happened and can't even imagine how this must have affected your fears and ability to even think of scheduling (and my feel is the effect of that goes far beyond that). Sounds like you have just made a HUGE step (and I am impressed that you obviously managed to to so on your own - at least without this forum!).

First of all, it's ok to be terrified and it's ok to feel lost. You are breaking through your fears and that's how it feels at the moment. Please, stay kind to yourself and give yourself time to process the fact that you have made this courageous step. Also, taking things slowly is very important.

I am pretty sure you won't be made fun of and won't be told you are a horrible person. What you are doing is a very brave thing. For now, I was wondering whether there is anything that usually helps you to get calmer when you feel lost?

All the best wishes and let us know your thoughts
 
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MissM250

Junior member
Joined
Feb 25, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Victoria
I'm truly hoping for the best. I'm trying to keep myself calm by reading success stories others have had with the dentist I contacted. The weird part for me is I have NO fear of the procedures or the actual work. My fear is of the dentist and the staff, as that was where my issue was.

I'm also sick to death of the cost. I'm looking at at least 10k in work, and I'm not well off.

One day at a time!
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

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MissM250,

I too am so sorry you had to go through that! and completely understand why you would not want to go back for so long. It was awful what happened to you .


The fact you are thinking of going to brave this despite the fear and past this is huge and I agree with Enarete about taking things very slowly and being as kind and compassionate to your self as you can and really especially expecting that also from a dentist and staff and if they are not, then to go somewhere that is. Because you deserve the kindest of care.

I think that is really smart to look at reviews of your dentist you are going to to make yourself feel better by good reviews... I have done the same..

I also think if you go and anything is triggering it is ok to leave and try again, there or anywhere else. Take one step at a time.

Also know we are here for you!! vent as much as you want.. :grouphug:
 
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MissM250

Junior member
Joined
Feb 25, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Victoria
I just got a questionnaire from them.

I feel so comforted.

It asks what comfort items you might want (blanket, netflix, comfort dog that they have!)

It asked my preferred pronouns. That's HUGE.

The form specifically states "we will not in any way make you feel sad, or bad. We want to celebrate you taking care of your health"

Ya'll... I think I might actually be able to do this. They booked a counselling appointment there before I even MEET the dentist, and got it covered by my insurance.

I'm GOING to do this. I am. I might check in a lot being afraid before, but I AM going to get better. <3
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

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Messages
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Wow!!! This sounds like best case scenario!!! a real anxious friendly dental office! That sounds promising like they really care for the whole patient not just your mouth! That is a good sign!
 
BoxerMom

BoxerMom

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Jun 23, 2019
Messages
159
Location
Us
Great news! And a comfort dog as well - I’m jealous! (Just kidding, I’ve got my own dogs to comfort me :)) Sounds like a great place and hopefully you’ll be able to get the help you need and deserve. No one should suffer through what you did. You can do this, and as krloves says, we all here for you. Please don’t be afraid to post whenever you need to, for whatever reason.
 
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MissM250

Junior member
Joined
Feb 25, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Victoria
I've tried to do this so many times before. I'm not sure what changed in me (maybe it was turning 40), but this time I've done 2 things I've never done in past when making an appointment. I've told my husband, and I told a friend. Hubby NEVER talks about my teeth. Never. He knows my history, and has just DEALT with it, the poor soul. It's obvious how bad they are, but nobody mentions it. I told my best friend, and she's being SO supportive. Hubby just keeps saying how proud he is of me, and that it's ok to be scared, that terror is part of phobia and that he's here for however I need to handle it, whether implants, partials, or dentures, it's not going to change how he feels.

The office is being so sweet "check in as often as you need, even if just to say you're needing a kind word".

I'm GOING to do this. I'm GOING to take you all along for this ride. I've been reading this forum since 2010... and here I am 10 years later taking the plunge.

Oh... did I mention I'm getting married in 5 days (first marriage)? No time like the present to take ALL the plunges, right?

Thank you all for being here with me. When I go, I'll try to be brave and do before pics.
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

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MissM250..

Wow getting married in 5 days.. Congrats!! and dealing with the dental. you are really taking all the plunges :). Your office sounds really sweet!!
 
Dg6300

Dg6300

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Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
637
Location
US
Congratulations on posting here: that is a big step, because you got it all out. Just keep doing what you’re doing. You have a journey ahead of you, to be sure, but you’re going to make it.
 
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Mike

Member
Verified dentist
Joined
Aug 24, 2019
Messages
87
Location
Scotland
Congrats in making the step and finding a dentist so invested in helping anxious patients!

p.s. I want a therapy dog for my office 😊
 
Enarete

Enarete

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This is super impressive! First of all, congrats on getting married, what amazing news and may the day be a beautiful one exactly as you have dreamed of it. Love to read how much support and unconditional acceptance you are getting; from your hubby and from your best friend. You know, we can carry the weight of the world if we have people who support us and believe in us.

You office sounds AMAZING! Love their form. And you will do amazingly, you had set the rails beautifuly. It's not about fearlessness, it's about choosing wisely who to trust and taking things slowly and with a good preparation. You cannot fail.

Feel free to do before pictures if you like, but remember you do not have to. I think the biggest lesson to learn is to be kind to yourself and only do what you feel comfortable with.
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

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@Enarete " It's not about fearlessness, it's about choosing wisely who to trust and taking things slowly and with a good preparation. You cannot fail. "

Said so beautifully!! Thanks!
 
Enarete

Enarete

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Congrats in making the step and finding a dentist so invested in helping anxious patients!

p.s. I want a therapy dog for my office 😊
Ohhhhhhhh! A therapy dog!!!! :love::love::love::love::love::love:

A small fluffy kind of one or a big kind of "I can look after you" one? :)
 
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MissM250

Junior member
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Feb 25, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Victoria
Ohhhhhhhh! A therapy dog!!!! :love::love::love::love::love::love:

A small fluffy kind of one or a big kind of "I can look after you" one? :)
I'm not sure yet! I'll sure let you know, my first appointment there is just with the counsellor and the dogs, I'm actually looking forward to it?? Is that weird?
 
Enarete

Enarete

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I'm not sure yet! I'll sure let you know, my first appointment there is just with the counsellor and the dogs, I'm actually looking forward to it?? Is that weird?
No, it's not weird, that's how trust feels. They showed you they cared and also showed you that you are in charge of things. So instead of dealing with fear you can now focus on the positive outcome. Love they provide you a counselor.
 
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Mike

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Aug 24, 2019
Messages
87
Location
Scotland
Ohhhhhhhh! A therapy dog!!!! :love::love::love::love::love::love:

A small fluffy kind of one or a big kind of "I can look after you" one? :)
To be honest I just want to take my golden retriever to work with me but I’m sure he’ll help the patients too!
 
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MissM250

Junior member
Joined
Feb 25, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Victoria
I'm going to try to update at every step. If it helps ANYONE to go through this with me, being open about something I've talked to NOBODY about for 23 years is worth it. I'm not going to let shame hold me back anymore!
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

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@Mike ,,awww Golden retrievers the best.. so sweet!!
@MissM250
" If it helps ANYONE to go through this with me, being open about something I've talked to NOBODY about for 23 years is worth it. I'm not going to let shame hold me back anymore! "
":jump::cheer2::perfect:
 
letsconnect

letsconnect

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The form specifically states "we will not in any way make you feel sad, or bad. We want to celebrate you taking care of your health"
What a lovely thing to put on a form - they sound really thoughtful :) ! Thanks so much for sharing your journey here. And congratulations on getting married 🎉!!

@Mike - I can see a pattern emerging here (did you know that @Gordon also has Golden Retrievers? They’re quite a wild bunch, in a friendly way of course - the idea of them acting as therapy dogs makes me smile :D)
 
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